Always (29.3)

There was the sound of a loud horn and Elliot's attention was turned straight to the hill that Kaedan and Owen were on. Standing at the ledge was Kaedan, on his head, was the crown of Sector 1.

"Soldiers of Sector 1!" He yelled, and his voice carried over the battlefield, "Ian Hernandez is dead!" He held his hand, which he was gripping something. It took Elliot a few moments to realize that it was Ian Hernandez's decapitated head, "I am Kaedan Hernandez, second Crown Prince of Sector 1, son of Ian and Camila Hernandez, and I declare myself the king of Sector 1!"

There was a slow murmuring throughout the crowd, almost confusion. It seemed that no one had been prepared for that announcement on either side. The Rebellion seemed more surprised due to this announcement coming immediately after Bella had called for a retreat. The White Lotus side seemed completely blindsided, though.

The confusion gave The Rebellion enough time to start pulling back and it seemed that even some of the soldiers of Sector 1 were beginning to change sides, cheering for Kaedan and beginning to fight back as well.

Elliot didn't have time to think about that. He needed to find Leon, hopefully before Chaewon found him.

He pushed his way through the crowd until he spotted familiar blond hair and reached out to grip Leon by the arm. The younger man yelped but quickly recognized who was grabbing him, "Elliot?!"

"Follow me, we need to go!" Elliot responded. Leon pulled back a bit, opening his mouth to seemingly ask a question, but Elliot quickly interrupted him, "We don't have time, I'll explain later!"

Leon trusted him and let him drag him towards the forest, deeper and deeper into the woods and away from the carnage. Finally, Leon pulled away, "Elliot, what the fuck?! Where are we going, they need us back there!"

Elliot stopped, facing away from Leon. Then, without saying a word, he took the handgun attached to his belt and tossed it in front of Leon.

The blonde looked down at it and looked back up at Elliot, "What are you—"

He was facing Leon now, and it seemed like he was trying to smile but struggling to keep his composure, "I'm sorry, Leon. I really am. If there was any other way, I would have done it, but this is the only way. I wish it didn't have to be you, but you're the only one who could possibly understand."

"I don't—What am I supposed to understand, I don't—"

"Leon," Elliot said, his voice completely serious, "You have to kill me."

There was a moment of silence, "...What?" Leon asked, his voice trembling with too many emotions.

"I said, you have to kill me—"

"No. Shut up. I heard you," Leon said, and there was anger in his voice, "What the fuck do you mean by that, Elliot? Because you can't just fucking spring that on me for no reason. I'm not going to kill you, have you lost your mind?!"

Elliot shook his head, "Leon, please," He said desperately, "We don't have much time. It's the only way to save Val. If we lose her this time, she's really gone!"

"...What?"

"You know Leon. You know that I'm different from you all, we talked about this. Killing me won't be the end. Sure, it's going to fucking hurt, and I—I will really be dying here but…It's the only way to free me from this. If you can free me then maybe I can get to Val in time and get her out. If she's close enough to death, then maybe—" Elliot cut himself off as he clutched his chest, yelping out as he felt the contractions sharply.

Leon shook his head, "Stop, stop, don't talk about it! I get it, okay! But I'm still…It doesn't change that you'll still die in front of me and I would have to be the one to do it! This is too cruel, Elliot, I can't—" His breathing was haggard, uneven, "I can't—I can't do this!"

Elliot was over by his side immediately, both hands on his shoulder, "Hey, hey, look at me. Leon, look at me," The younger met his eyes, and Elliot could see tears in them, "It's okay, it's going to be okay."

"No, it isn't!" Leon burst out sobbing, "I can't—Val's dying! And I—I don't know how to save her and now you're telling me that there's a way, but I have to kill you? I can't do this, Elliot, I'm—It's too much, everything is just—"

"Leon, look at me," Elliot said, trying to calm the boy down, "You need to breathe or you're going to end up passing out. I know everything is too much, I'm sorry. I wouldn't have asked you if there was any other way. You're the only one who knows about me and I…I would have done it myself but it wouldn't have worked."

Leon sniffled, "I don't—I don't want to hurt you…But I don't want you to hurt yourself. Elliot, please…"

"I know, kiddo, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Elliot pulled him in for a hug, "It would have been so much simpler if I could do it myself but…I realized something, not too long ago," He took a deep breath, "Apocalypse. We were always wondering how she could be stuck here, as a ghost of all things."

"Yeah…?"

Elliot took a deep breath, "It's a punishment," He said softly, "They punished her for killing herself. They never wanted anyone to escape, so they took extra precautions if someone figured out what was happening the way we did."

Leon pulled back, and the was an expression of horror on his face, "They…They made it so you can't…"

"Kill yourself, yes," Elliot winced, "It took me a long time to remember. Almost too long. I tried once, I thought maybe I could escape that way. I heard someone's voice tell me not to. I didn't place the voice until earlier today."

"...Apocalypse," Leon realized, "Do you think she knows—"

Elliot shook his head, "I'm not sure about this time. It's clear that this is the first time that she's been in Risále's head, so she might not actually remember it this time around. I think if she did know, she would have told us. As much as I hate to admit it…"

"We know plenty of people who are inclined to try it. Some of them already have…" Leon whispered.

"...If I get trapped in here, I can't help Val. I've been trying to figure out a way to help all of you escape but I'm being watched," Elliot explained, "Listen to me, Julian, Veronica, even goddamn Arsenio, they're not the worst threat we're facing right now. There's worse, Leon. We haven't gotten their attention but they—They know more about that damn formation than we do."

Leon's eyes widened, "What? Who are you talking about?"

Elliot shook his head, "I can't tell you. But you need to stay under their radar, or it's going to be nearly impossible for you to save everyone. Leon, you need to understand. They know what you want to do, and they will stop you."

"But how am I supposed to do anything if I don't know who they are!?" Leon exclaimed, frustrated.

"Just—Be ready, okay?" Elliot responded desperately, "This is the best I can do for you. Now, you know what you have to do, Leon," Somehow, in the time they'd been talking, Elliot had picked up the gun and pressed it into Leon's hands.

His eyes widened, "I—Elliot, I can't. You're—You're asking me to kill you."

Elliot smiled sadly, "It won't be forever. It'll only hurt for a few minutes, then I'll be fine. Just…Don't think of it as me dying. You're just…You're getting me out of here."

"You're telling me to point a gun at you and shoot you, Elliot! How am I meant to…You're the closest thing I have to an older brother! You're the closest thing I have to a father figure!"

"Leon, this is going to hurt, yes, I won't deny that," Elliot breathed in shakily, "And I would spare you this if I could. I would have even let someone on the battlefield kill me if it wasn't for the fact that…" He hesitated, "I think…There were orders from higher up that people from the White Lotus are not allowed to kill me."

Leon stared at him, "...Huh?"

Elliot spoke quickly, realizing they were running out of time, "I noticed while I was on the battlefield that no one in the White Lotus was actively trying to kill me. I think…No, I'm almost completely sure that they're trying to keep me in here. If my enemies won't kill me, that only leaves my allies. And would my allies kill me?"

"...Fuck."

"Yeah," The older man sighed, "We don't have much time, Leon. I can save Val, but if she's dead by the time I get there, I can't do anything. It's now or never. If you kill me, then at least it's not forever. If Val dies, Leon, then she's gone. There's no redos, no bringing her back, nothing."

Leon looked at him, "...I'm really going to have to do this, aren't I?"

Elliot looked at him with a melancholy smile, "It's like getting a shot. Remember when you were a kid, you used to be scared of getting them? It was alright though, wasn't it? It'll be over in two minutes."

"You used to let me squeeze your hand when I was a kid," Leon said, sniffling, not meeting his eyes, "How am I supposed to kill you?"

"Don't think about it," Elliot kissed the top of his head, pulling him into a one-armed hug, "Just…" He pushed the boy back, inhaling deeply, "Now, just…Hold the gun up, and squeeze the trigger," At Leon's hesitance, he added, "This is to save Val. I'll…I'll see you soon, okay? Get everyone to safety and I'll be there, waiting."

Leon nodded his head and shakily raised the gun, directing the barrel to line up with Elliot's heart, "I'll…I'll make it quick," He said softly, feeling the hot tears streaming down his face.

Elliot laughed a bit, but he sounded choked up, "That would be nice, yeah."

They stood for a few minutes before Leon's knees gave way, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," He whispered, "I can't do this, I just can't, Elliot, please."

"It's okay," Elliot replied, his voice hoarse, "I'm sorry for asking you to do this. It's too much for anyone. I wish I had known sooner. I didn't know who else to ask."

"You should have asked me," Both Elliot and Leon whirled around to see the one person that both of them hoped wouldn't show up.

Leon's eyes widened, "Oh, no," He whispered.

Elliot let out a shaky breath, "You followed us."

Chaewon stepped out of the tree line, "I had a bad feeling when I saw you pull Leon away," She said, moving closer, "The look in your eyes…I knew you had a plan but…I guess people were right when they said you should trust your gut feeling."

"I didn't want you to have to deal with this," He whispered, "We've…We've lost enough. I can't put you through this again."

"What do you mean by that?" Chaewon asked, stepping in front of Leon.

Elliot sighed, "I…You'll remember eventually. And when you do…Well," He laughed, almost choking through it, "I can't even tell you not to blame yourself. I blame myself. Just…Don't do anything stupid when you remember. I can't lose you as well."

Realization dawned in Chaewon's eyes, "Apocalypse. You're talking about Apocalypse, aren't you? You remember her."

Elliot nodded slowly, "It came to me when we were in the castle," He murmured, "I…There's not enough time for me to tell you everything, and there's so much to tell you. If what I'm guessing is right, though, you'll get your answers soon. Just…Tell her I'm sorry I couldn't save her. Tell her I'm sorry we couldn't save her."

Chaewon seemed shaken by his words, but she nodded, "I promise," She turned to her younger brother, "Leon, go back to the others."

"What? No, I can't leave you both here—"

"Please," There was a despondent sadness in her voice, "Don't make this any harder than it needs to be, Minhyuk," Her eyes were trained on Elliot.

Slowly, she heard Leon stand up and let out a shaky breath, "Both of you, please be careful," He said quietly, and the footsteps began to get further and further away until neither Chaewon nor Elliot could hear him anymore.

Chaewon turned to face her husband, "I'm kind of mad at you, you know?" She asked, but her tone didn't really hold any anger in it, "Asking Leon to do something like that…I know you won't die, but it's still cruel to ask him. Especially him."

"...You know," Elliot said softly.

"Figured it out around the same time you remembered Apocalypse, I think," She replied, picking up the gun from the ground, "I should be mad at you for putting my little brother in that position," She sighed, "But I know you wouldn't do it if there was any other way."

Elliot shook his head, "I didn't want to ask you either. It's too cruel to you as well."

"I'd rather it be me than him," Chaewon replied, "He's had to deal with the guilt for too long. And he was younger than us."

"Isn't it just as cruel to ask a wife to kill her spouse?" Elliot chuckled, but there was no humor in his voice.

Chaewon shrugged, "It is. But you know me. I'm a big sister first. Whatever I can do to take some of the pain away from him, I'll do it," The gun clicked as she switched off the safety, "Elliot, I need you to promise me something."

"What is it?"

"Promise me that you'll be alright," Chaewon said, and at Elliot's conflicted look, she continued, "No, I'm serious. I'm not going to lose two people for no reason. Either you promise me that you'll be okay or I won't do this."

Elliot took a deep breath, "I…I should be fine. It'll hurt like hell and I'll definitely feel it, no matter what. But I shouldn't die unless something goes horribly wrong. We have to do this now, though. Val doesn't have much time."

Chaewon looked at him before moving forward and leaning up to press their lips together, cupping his face. Elliot responded, and he could taste the saltiness of tears. As she pulled back, he wiped her cheeks and gave her a weak smile.

She took a deep breath before stepping back, "It's a bit ironic. It always comes down to us two, doesn't it?" She laughed, but her voice was shaky, "We didn't have to make the choice last time."

"Because someone made it for us," Elliot responded quietly. At Chaewon's confusion, he sighed, "Soon. Just…Promise me that when you find out what happened to us, you won't be too hard on yourself. I won't…I won't be here to carry that burden with you."

"I…I don't…Okay, I promise," Chaewon said, seeing the desperation in her husband's eyes, "I love you, Elliot."

Elliot smiled, "I love you, too, darling."

Chaewon raised the gun, finger curled around the trigger, the barrel pointed directly at his heart, "You and me, always, right?" She asked, trying to smile.

"Always."

There was a moment where everything was completely still, and it seemed that even the forest around them was holding its breath. 

Then, the gun fired.

It was as though everything was muted after that. Chaewon was no longer aware of anything around her. She could vaguely see the body of her husband crumpling to the ground. After a few moments, she could faintly hear screaming, desperate sobbing, and oh, that was her. She hadn't even felt herself hit the ground, but the pain in her knees made it clear that she had dropped hard.

She could feel arms wrapping around her, hugging her tightly, and her brain only barely managed to recognize that it was Leon. He held her, stroking her head and whispering…Something. She couldn't really hear. Or she could, but it just…Faded out. She couldn't recognize it. She thought he might have been trying to reassure her.

It was clear that he was crying uncontrollably as well.