New start

I sat in the motel room waiting for Janie to come out. I had never felt so bad in my life or so low. Janie was a sweet, kind and beautiful girl. I am not good for her. I tried staying away and it resulted in her getting hurt. I can't let that happen again. Just then she came out. wearing a long t shirt and her wet hair down, I could feel myself start to get hard. Her face was clean and no more make up. She looked pure, innocent and damn sexy.

" Thank you for saving me. I'm sure you had better things to do, that's why you haven't been around. Sorry if I interrupt your evening. I will be ok now. If you need to leave that's fine."

As she said it, she tilled her head down and looked away from me. I didn't know what to say to that. I know she was trying to be brave, but in that moment I didn't want to leave. I wanted to make her feel better.

" I don't have any where to be and sorry for not being there to begin with. You wouldn't have been in that position if I hadn't been stupid. "

I moved over to the bed and sat beside her. I put my arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. She was stiff as a board. Was it because of me? Was she scared or mad? eventually she leaned into me and I held her.

" Janie, how did you get to the Rusty Bucket and why were you there? "

"I walked. I came back here early and felt like the walls were closing in on me. So I thought I would take a walk. I got lost and that was the first place I saw. Where have you been?"

" Around. I had some thinking to do myself. "

" Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?"

Janie was looking up at me with those blue eyes, tears threatening to fall. My absence really hurt her and it broke me. I turned around and faced her, pulling her into my lap. I could smell her shampoo, strawberries. I kissed the top of her head.

"No darling. You did nothing wrong. You are perfect. I am flawed. You are innocent and good. I am experienced more than I care to admit and bad to the core. You have a future and I can't see what mine is yet. You are beautiful and I never want to hurt you."

I felt her let the air out of her lungs. She wrapped her arms around me and placed her head on my shoulder. She started to rub my back and I held her face in my hands and kissed the tears away that had fallen.

"I'm not perfect. I have flaws too. I am just a simple girl who will be a nurse someday. I think you are just who I need you to be. Imperfect, kind, and make me feel safe. When you leave again tonight, will you come back? Cause if your not coming back, please hold me tight tonight until I fall asleep. So that I can carry this memory for my lifetime?"

" If you want me to stay tonight, I will. Not because you think Im not coming back, but because I want to hold you all night and know your safe."

She got off my lap and pulled down the covers. I stood up, took my boots off and my shirt. That would be enough to relax a bit.I didn't want to make her uncomfortable. When Janie falls asleep, I'll move to the chair. I climbed in bed and stretched out. She snuggled up against me and I took her in my arms. I placed kisses on her cheek and with in minutes, her breathing was slowing down and I knew she was falling asleep. I laid with her for an hour. Just smelling her and watching her sleep. I have two days left before I ship out. I wanted to spend it with her. I slipped out of bed, sat back in the chair and dozed off myself.