Chapter 8

I wake up, sweatier than before and so hungry I feel like I may puke again. Alex sits on the floor in front of the TV, flipping through channels.

"Alex?"

He stands up instantly, "Hey you're awake, how are you feeling?"

"Cold, wet, hungry," I pull the blanket up even more, "I feel like I'm going to be sick again."

"You need to try to eat, it'll help."

"What happened? I don't remember much after the bathroom," fear sinks into me, "Did he..."

"God no," Alex grabs the soup and sits next to me, "He tried to get to you but those girls locked the bathroom door. I got there and knocked him flat, he hurt you, gave you a gnarly bruise and a serious bite mark. Guy was absolutely insane, rambling on and on."

"Rambling?" He spooned the soup into my mouth, awkwardly, but endearingly, "Rambling about what?"

"Saying there's nowhere to hide, and I can't protect you forever. Guy was nuts."

"He said something similar to me," Alex froze, clearly concerned, "He said we couldn't escape, we can't run forever. He said that you can't protect me forever, we should just give up. He said that 'he' would get us eventually."

All the color drains from Alex, "As soon as you're feeling better we have to leave. I don't want to stay any longer than we have to in case that Robert dude finds us, and you are not leaving this room for any reason except to run."

"Alex, what's going on?"

"I told you, the devil has control over those he makes deals with. And with how that Robert guy acted, he must have made a deal."

"I thought you said he can't get us if we aren't in a familiar area."

"He can get us when we're secure, which you were in the art store and book store, and just because he can't get us out here doesn't mean the other deal makers can't. For all we know he's offered something in exchange for us."

My stomach flips again and I rush to the bathroom in the nick of time. Once I've stopped vomiting I curl up in a ball on the floor. It's cold and feels good on my throbbing head, but makes my sweating body shiver uncontrollably.

Alex squats next to me, "What can I do to help?"

"I just want this to be over with," I start bawling again, "God my head hurts."

Crying makes me feel sicker and I hurl yet again, Alex gently rubs my back, "I'm going to do some research, see if this is from being drugged and what I can do to help you feel better."

I nod gently as I feel fatigue set in again. I know there's nothing left in my stomach to bring back up, but I still feel the tensing begging me to fold over the toilet bowl again.

My vision fades as it becomes harder to stay awake. I hear Alex's footsteps against the bathroom floor, but I can't fight the sleep.

I feel warm hands pull me close and lift me against his soft shirt, he's so warm it soothes all my aches.

He holds me carefully and I feel as though I'm floating through space as my body sways, only for a few moments but it's the most peaceful I've felt in years. Slowly I descend, and I feel the mattress shape to my body.

"You should try to sleep, I have to go for a bit, but I'll be back as soon as I can," I hear Alex whisper to me as he pulls the blanket up to my shoulders, "The soup is next to you, try to eat and relax."

My brain and thoughts turn to white noise as I sink into the pillows and blankets.

________

I wake up, not nearly as sick. My stomach only has a small ache, but I still have a boot party going on inside my head. I look around and don't see Alex anywhere.

Carefully, I lift myself from the bed and check the bathroom. Nothing.

While I'm not sweating as much, I'm still cold from being wet. Shivering, I toddle to the bed and pull off the top blanket.

I wrap it around myself and look at the cheap nightstand. There I see a cup of take out soup, and my new sketch pad and books. Letting a small smile spread over my face, I take the soup and little plastic spoon and sit back on the bed.

I open in and find it still warm, he had to have reheated it before leaving and must have left not too long ago.

I turn on the TV and start watching a Hallmark movie, slowly eating my soup, trying to pass the time. I get about five hours into a corny romance marathon when the motel room door opens and Alex tries to sneak in.

When he sees me awake he stiffens, "Hey," he says awkwardly, looking down to his shoes.

"You've been gone a while," I twist the blanket in my hand, "Didn't you say we shouldn't leave the room?"

"I had something to take care of, I didn't mean to be gone that long," He takes off his shoes and sits on the bed, "Did you eat?"

"Yeah, and I've watched enough romance to last me a lifetime."

"Did you draw or anything?"

I shake my head, "My bones ache, probably from being sick, I still don't feel all the way better."

"Jules I--"

"Where were you? I'm not the only one in danger here, so are you."

He throws his head into his hand, "Can you please trust me on this?"

I shake my head, and without any hesitation I stand up, grabbing my shoes and head for the door.

I grab the door knob and feel my arm get yanked back, "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Alex keeps a grip on my arm that actually hurts.

I try and pry off his hand, which only makes him hold me harder, "I just want to sit outside, maybe walk around the block. You can't keep me in here all day when you're free to walk around!" He grips me harder, "God let go! You're hurting me!"

His hand shoots off, but now he holds the door closed, "I left because I had to do something! I'm going to be in here too, and it's only until you're well enough for us to leave again! Would you stop fighting me on this?"

"I just want some fresh air! Is that so much to ask? You've taken my life, you aren't taking my freedom!"

"I told you I'll get you out of this somehow! You just need to relax!"

I hit him with my shoe and stomp to the bed. Sitting back down I feel the tears and screaming building in me. I've never had any control over my life. First taken by my father's selfishness and abandonment, now by a classmates stupidity.

"Jules, please," he stands by the door, his head hanging low, "I never wanted to bring you into this insanity, but you're here now. I hate that you ever had to experience this, the gun shots, running away, leaving your mom, getting drugged, almost..." my body noticeably tenses, he doesn't finish his sentence, "I'm sorry I've now hurt you physically. But please, I need you to trust me, trust that I want to keep you safe. If you want to leave the room at least take me with you."

"You don't get it," I growl, tears welling in my eyes, "I don't want you there, I don't want apologies, I want to go home. I didn't even want to be working the night this started, I was there because I had to be. Now I'm stuck with someone I barely know who never leaves my side. It's exhausting, it's frustrating!"

He stands against the door, quiet, with his eyes closed. He holds the door closed as if he thinks I'm still going to leave.

"I promise, staying in this room should only be while we're here. Getting you in a car was a way to expose you to the city, to get you comfortable. It was meant to make you vulnerable to the devil, and Robert was his little helper who thought he would get something out of it. You may not realize how used to this place you're getting. You were comfortable in the craft store, and the book store, and now you've been all over town. You are at risk right now, and I'll be damned if something else happens to you because I left your side. I'm sorry it upsets you but that is that."

I crawl under the blanket and just try to disappear. The slow trickle of tears make me want to yell. I'm sick of crying, I'm sick of feeling helpless, I'm sick... Of everything.

"Jules," His voice gets low as he sits at the foot of the bed, "Please don't shut me out... I get it, you probably hate me right now, but I want to help you. Let's go walk down the street to the dinner or the deli or something. There's a fast food place a little ways away, it's supposed to have really good milkshakes," I don't look at him, "Please?"

Food is the last thing on my mind... My mom, how is she eating? Most days we had almost no food or money for it, even when there were three jobs between us. I miss her.

Alex stands and walks to the door, he looks back at me one last time before walking out the door, "I'll bring you something back, alright?"

I sit silent, and a few moments later the door closes.

I roll over and look at the other nightstand, there's a phone. Crappy, and probably covered in disease, but I still find myself wanting to reach for it and call my mom. I desperately want to ask how's she's doing, tell her how much I miss her, and how I wish I could tell her everything.

I can't help but think about what Alex said, about us not being reported as missing or as runaways. Has my mom even been home? Does she know I'm gone? What is she thinking? Is she worried? Was I just in her way and she just doesn't care?

No! I push the thought from my mind, my mom and I love each other. She would never want me gone.

Right?

Then I think to Alex, what do you his parents think he's doing? He said they rarely notice him, did they notice him vanish?

I start crying, hysterically. Was it so easy to just forget about us? Their children? It was easy for my dad, why not my mom and Alex's parents?

The tears are hot and messy against my cheeks, causing my skin to become irritated. I feel my skin itch to the point of burning from the salty moisture, I rub away the tears only causing the feeling and mess to spread.

My breathing becomes hoarse and I begin to make some godawful whining noise that sounds unsettling even to me.

Eventually the crying and the heat become to much, I kick off the blankets and throw the pillows off the bed. Grabbing the one I was previously crying into, I'm disgusted by how damp it is. I keep crying until I fall asleep again. My breath hiccups as I calm down into sleep, unable to stay awake after exerting that much of my limited energy.

I hope I wake up and find that this whole thing was a dream. I would do anything for this to be fake, anything to be home with my mom. I want to be home, or at least dream of home. Of mom.

Mom.

I miss you mom.

My mind fades and I'm unable to think, my body gets heavy as I feel relaxed. Sleep brings me a final feeling of floating before taking me completely. It's quiet. It's peaceful.

Finally it's peaceful.