Chapter 16

Waking up, I'm still diagonal across the bed, bundled up in the blankets. Alex is asleep on the couch against the wall.

I sit up and stare at him. Will today be better? Looking outside the sun is almost completely up, it's a little after seven. I want to go back to sleep.

Quietly I get out of bed and tip toe to Alex, gently shaking him awake.

His eyes open barely, "Hey, you alright? What's up?"

He sits up and faces me, "You should be in the bed, you could sleep a couple more hours and I could be over here on the couch. It was supposed to be me sleeping here last night."

He smiles, "It's ok Jules, it wasn't that bad," he gently pushes me farther away, "Give me a second, I'm waking up. I don't want to risk him getting to me again while I'm still tired."

He and I get up together, he keeps his distance from me. I watch him get some clothes out of his bag and stretch his arms above his head.

"I'm going to shower and then I'm going to go find us something to do while we're here. I love watching you draw but I'm going to go nuts just sitting around doing nothing while we're here."

I chuckle, earning his charming smile before he slides into the bathroom. I sit where he was lying on the couch and wait for him to come back out of the bathroom.

He loves watching me draw?

I don't think he would if he knew what I've been drawing. I don't think he'd ever be able to look at me the same again.

What I would give to go back to freshman year when I had no idea who he was aside from the him I saw at school. What I would give to be able to even turn back the clock and never see him in that alley way by my work.

When the bathroom door opens, I see Alex step out as steam pours out. All I can do is watch, wait to see if he's still himself. Is this what it will be from now on?

"Alex?" I feel myself get tense as he just stands there.

"Yeah," he looks at me confused, "Everything alright?"

I can feel my lips turn up to form a smile, "Yeah, all good. What's the plan for the day?"

He smiles and points at me, "Well first I am going to get breakfast, and then I'm going to find a cheap deck of cards. Tonight we play poker."

"I don't know how to play poker."

He snaps his fingers, getting a strong look of determination, "Tonight you learn!"

He twirls around, marching into the bathroom again. I can't help but laugh at his good mood. I don't know anything about poker though, except it involves money and that my dad used to play it.

When he steps out I'm back to freshman year. I hate how well he dresses and how good he looks. His dark red shirt and black jeans hug him perfectly, the dark jeans make him look even taller. His skin and hair are still damp, making him shine and sparkle. God I hate how I can never ditch this crush.

He grabs his jacket and brushes past me, "I won't be long, I'll find us some food and try to be back within the hour. Are you ok here?"

"I can't go with?"

He looks uncomfortable, "I would rather you stay here, I know how to go unnoticed better than you do. Plus I'm sure the Devil has a lot of people looking for you now that I'm sure Robert has confirmed you're with me and what I'll do to protect you."

I hate that he's probably right, I want to discredit him but how can I? I don't know anything about the Devil or what he would do, Alex has interacted with him and has a better understanding of him and his methods.

He gives me a look of sympathy, he finishes pulling on his jacket before gently grabbing my arm, "I won't be long, maybe tonight we can walk around after the city calms down for the night, ok?"

I nod and watch him walk away to leave. He gives me one last glance before he closes the door behind him.

I'm alone again. Big surprise.

My first instinct is to draw, but I'm sick of drawing nothing but fear, which is all I have at this point. I reach for my book and settle on the couch. I can't focus on the words in front of me, I feel antsy and I just want out.

I walk around in the room, I organize the extra little soaps in the bathroom, I even try to find something to watch on TV. I've never been a TV person, mom couldn't really afford it and as I got older, we were never home to really watch it.

I flip through the channels, finding romantic movies, crime shows, comedies, and so much more. I'm almost glad I don't watch TV because I don't know how people choose what they watch. Settling for game shows, I sit on the bed fidgeting while I watch, shouting out answers to the questions asked on the TV.

Mom and I could get behind this. Maybe when she's done with school.

An hour passes and I keep watching something called Family Feud, I can't help laugh when the host cracks jokes about the contestants answers.

I'm caught off guard by beeping at the door, I get up as the door unlocks and Alex steps in with a plastic bag and the motel key-card.

"Do you want some help with that?" I go to take the few bags he has from his hands.

"Thanks, sorry I took so long, you'd be surprised how long lines for McDonald's could be before ten," he shoves his key-card back in his pocket, "I got you pancakes, hope that's ok."

"Yeah that's fine, I just want to eat something you know?"

We unload the bags onto the bed and split all the food, he sees the game shows on the TV.

"What are you watching?" he chuckles.

"Family Feud, I got bored waiting and it's ok, it makes me laugh at least," I put my hands on my hip and glance at the TV.

He hops onto the bed with his food, "Well then I've got to watch it, if it makes you laugh it must be good."

I give him a dirty look before sitting at his feet. We eat while we watch, taking turns announcing our answers to the questions the host asks. Most of our day is spent doing this, watching game shows and making light conversation.

Close to three in the afternoon, Alex grabs the remote and mutes the TV, "Ok, I'm officially getting bored. Can we do something else?"

"Like what?" I look at him like he's stupid, which he is. What else is there to do?

He whips out a deck of cards from his jacket pocket, this look of boyish victory plastered on his face.

"Poker!" He starts laughing, I groan loudly in frustration, "Hey watch it or I'll have us play strip poker."

I grab a shoe and throw it at him, I might just beat him if the cockiness doesn't stop, "Don't you need money to play poker?"

"We can bet something else, we don't even have to make bets. Come on at lease let me teach you how to play," he smiles at me, begging me sweetly.

I sit in front of him and listen as he deals the cards and tries to explain how to play, but I don't understand anything. I can't keep any of it straight or which hands are which. I'll think I have a good hand and then I'll realize it's really rather awful.

I'm glad we aren't betting anything because I would be losing everything.

"You may suck at this game but I will say, you have a pretty good poker face," I glance up to see Alex smiling at me in amazement, "I can't read you at all, it's insane!"

"That's because I have no clue what I'm looking at, none of this makes any sense to me," I look back at my cards. Two of them are the same, while the other three match but are different than my pair. I have no idea what these mean or if they're good.

I watch Alex drop one of his cards and pull another from the deck in its place, his face doesn't change.

"Ready?" He looks over the top of his cards to see me nod. We both put our cards down, "Hey you won!"

"What?" The shock is clear as my voice squeaks out.

"You have a full house, I have three of a kind, you had the better hand," he smiles at me, I can't help smile too.

I don't really understand this game but winning does feel good even if it's just for a second. Still, I don't really like this game, I don't like not knowing what's going on.

"Can we play something else? Something easier?" I push the cards carefully in his direction, "That's my prize, playing anything but this."

He laughs as he gathers the cards together, "Alright, how about Slap Jack? It's really easy but really fun."

He explains the rules and it does seem easy, slap the deck when you see a Jack, try to get as many cards from the deck as possible.

He breaks up the deck and puts down his first card, then I put down mine. We go back forth for a bit until a Jack appears and we both jump to slap it, I get it at the price of my hand basically dying. As we go on and on we get faster, dropping our cards quickly in hopes of seeing a Jack. Our hands our red by the time we near the end, I have most of the deck, he's down to maybe ten cards.

"Throw me a bone here, will you?" he shakes his hand as I pull the jack and the cards under it closer to me, "I'm worried I'm going to break your hand at this point."

"Then you shouldn't have picked this game," I try not to smile.

I look up to see a gentle smile on his face, "When we finish this game I say we call it. Maybe we can go walk around."

My smile breaks through, I want out of this room, even if it's just for ten minutes. I watch him drop his card and drop mine down too, no Jack. We keep going until one of my cards is a Jack and he doesn't have any cards left.

We both drop our hands and I narrowly beat him to it. His hand lingers for a minute, it's warm against my skin.

He pulls his hand back slowly, dragging his fingers over the top of my hand before he clears his throat, "Not bad, you are really fast."

I chuckle, "Lots of practice snagging the last non-expired pudding in the lunch line at school."

He bursts out laughing, "Ah you're that person, I got sick because of those damn puddings!"

I feel my cheeks get warm. He slowly gets up, shaking his head as he grabs his shoes. Slipping them on he looks back at me.

"You should probably put on real pants, we are trying to stay under the radar and I promise people will look at you like that," he grabs his jacket.

I blush so hard my face and ears feel like they're on fire. I dart off the bed and grab my bag before I slam the bathroom door shut behind me, I tell myself to calm down while I dig for a decent pair of jeans.

I pull out my pair from that first night back home, looking at them I start digging for the shirt and jacket I wore that night to. When I find them I just stare, suddenly angry all over again, why am I here?

Alex knocks on the door, jarring me back into reality, "You ok in there?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I shove the clothes back in my bag and pull out a pair of fairly new black skinny jeans and a silky, lavender top I got lucky to find on sale. Pulling the clothes over me, I grab my jacket and march out of the bathroom door.

I hope some fresh air helps, because I'm really at my wits end. I want to go home.