Chapter 08

Daniel Joshua Collins was born on a small farm in northern Texas. Son of a farmer, he got used to working in the fields since he was a child. Passionate about horses, he felt free, while riding and touring the countryside, walking among rivers and lakes, savoring life.

It was premature at all. At the age of five, he was already traveling his land alone; at seven, he was already helping the teacher to teach his colleagues to read. At ten, he was already kissing the daughters of former black slaves who still lived on his father's property; and at fourteen, he already had sex.

The first time was with Amy, a mulatto with hair carefully arranged in a bun. She, already entering adulthood, invited him to visit the barn on a rainy day. He went and discovered the wonders of carnal pleasure. After that, he slept with Aida, Jeanette, Ursula, and Kelly. All, without exception, were not only enchanted by the possibility of winning the boss's son, but also enjoying his classic beauty.

His brown hair was streaked with the sunlight. Eyes as blue as the sky seemed to mesmerize the naive girls. And besides, he was kind and sweet to everyone, even more enchanting those who were attracted by his qualities.

However, as much as he liked to sleep with them, he was unable to harbor any feelings. Of course, in the youthful rush to enjoy all the pleasures provided to him so easily, he had not realized the fact.

Until he came into your life ...

He met Ren on a sunny day when he saw him at a grocery store in the city. He was amazed to see him, as he was the first oriental he knew. That day, he did not approach, despite being eager to observe more closely those slanted eyes that managed to be as beautiful as they were exotic. Later learned that a Japanese family had immigrated and that the boy was the youngest of five siblings.

Almost a week after that first meeting, he spoke to him. Ren came across the river. The other did not understand that he had invaded the private property and was enjoying himself in the calm waters. They talked for the first time. The subject varied, from the arrival of the young man in the country and the difficulty in the new language, until the school that would start next semester.

The friendship went well. They created a bond, and when he realized, Daniel was already completely in love.

One day he asked his beloved what his name meant. Ren, as the Japanese said, meant water lily. Then Daniel went all the way across the river until he found a lily. When he took the pink flower, he took it to the young man and confessed.

For the first time, sex had a meaning. In love, he abandoned all his girlfriends and started to enjoy Ren's divine body in the barn. They made plans, promises. They talked about fleeing together, seek employment in Mexico. They could live in the desert, only out of their love. But no plan resisted reality: one day their father caught them naked, lying among the hay.

Daniel was kicked out of the house, and Ren's family left, driving him away. No longer seeing him just destroyed his heart even more. Alone, abandoned, even his best friends turned their backs on him.

"Sorry, I can't be around you," Arthur, a party buddy, told him once. " If you fall in love with me, I'll have to beat you up and I want to avoid that! ".

Then he found a job in a brothel. The rich son of the owner of the largest properties in the city started to clean the floor full of urine and vomit. When he turned nineteen, he learned that the country was looking for young people to serve on the Japanese base.

Being in Japan would mean being closer to Ren ... somehow. So, he signed up. The training took place for about a year and, after finishing it, he was told that he would be sent there in February 1950.

He returned home to say goodbye to his mother. The woman, seeing him, said only: "A pity that the war is over. I wanted you to die there so that I no longer had to live with the shame of having a fag child ".

He knew he would never see her again after that.

But the future held surprises for him. There were other gays in the army. Sure, discreet, but ... they existed. He was no longer unique, and that reassured him. And when he arrived in Okinawa, he learned of the fame of a Japanese man who was driving most of the base's men into delirium.

He didn't care. He strongly believed that his love for Ren was unique and eternal, but when he saw Saito Jiro for the first time, he was hopelessly in love.

Jiro was not easy, he did not accept anyone. On the contrary, he handpicked the current lover and, after sleeping with him, despised him, destroying several hearts. So Daniel tried to get closer first, to win his friendship. However, once the first time they talked in a bar the night ended Together on a bed.

The next morning, Jiro got up and left, without saying goodbye. Knowing this to be the custom of the other, he gathered his courage and began to pursue him. He sent her gifts and a message of love. He was rewarded for persistence. Not that Saito loved him, but he accepted him. He even took him on as a steady lover. However, he was not faithful and made no promises to him.

He was more hurt than happy in that relationship. Even so, he couldn't even imagine being away from him. He knew that the other had his demons, his wounds, and probably because of that, he identified with him so much.

Ren got lost in the time gaps. At that moment, while meditating on life in that Tokyo hotel room, he could probably think of his ex-lover. What would Ren be doing? Was happy? Did they force him to get married? Taking on something he didn't want? Or had he run away and, like him, found other male arms to sink?

His concerns, however, were nothing compared to the discomfort he felt at not being able to remember the young lover's face properly. Because after Jiro, no face had become clear to him.

Suddenly, the bedroom door opened. He saw the beloved entering and looking at him. He was surprised and could not hide the fact.

"I thought you were going to stay with Shin Sakamoto."

The tone, a mixture of accusations and anger, made Saito laugh. After the two lovers met, Jiro asked him to leave. They had a lot to talk about, he explained. With tears in his eyes, Daniel obeyed.

So, Daniel didn't expect to see Saito that day.

" Shin has n't fucked in five years. Do you think I would be crazy to give my ass to him?"

Then he laughed. Alone. Daniel stared at him with a jealous look. Saito chose to ignore it. He turned and went to the bathroom to shower. However, as soon as he put the body underwater, he heard the repressed tone of the other.

" And the other? That Mamoru?"

From what Shin said, Aiko had slipped into a new business, without making room in his life for anything else. Even Shin, with whom he shared all dreams, he had closed himself off. Was there room for Jiro?

Suddenly, those five years seemed too long. What if everything that Jiro remained nurturing had been erased in Aiko?

"I will see him tomorrow," he said.

However, Jiro wasn't so sure. He feared the reunion.

"I can't understand what happened between the three of you," Daniel commented, watching him as he soaped up.

Saito laughed, trying to appear calm.

"Shin and I were rivals for Aiko's love. Until one day, I realized that I loved him too."

The way he explained it seemed simple. However, Daniel did not understand how someone could love two people at the same time.

"I don't think you love any of them," he murmured.

The ironic laugh made him realize that Saito had heard his opinion.

" I don't care what you think."

Then Jiro rinsed and got out of the shower. Naked, he walked over to the boy, displaying all his manhood and making the American's mouth dry.

"Let me go with you," he pleaded.

" No " he refused. " I want to see Aiko-san alone."

" Why? Are you going to sleep with him?"

Jiro leaned his wet body against the other.

"Who knows," he murmured.

Suddenly, Daniel held his thin body. In seconds, he threw him on the bed. He took it with passion, seeming to beg Saito to notice his feelings and respond to them. However, the other's coldness meant that his plea had, as always, been ignored.

***

Shiromiya pushed the hoe into the earth with force. Then he raised his hand to his forehead, wiping the sweat from his forehead. Despite the winter, the sun was quite strong that Monday afternoon, and he had to take the opportunity to remove the weeds from the ground to prepare him for planting before the rain started to fall in January.

It was not a large area, but alone it took some time to get everything ready. Then he soon returned to weeding, dedicating all his attention to the work. However, moments later, he felt again that he was being watched and did not have to turn to know who was there.

" Go away," he said, lifting the hoe and hitting it hard on the ground. " I am over what to do."

" I ..." Ryo murmured.

In the face of silence, Shiro stopped work and turned to him. He saw a package in his hands.

"I saw him yesterday at the dressmaker," he tried to explain.

" AND?"

" I saw a floral dress ..."

He extended the package to Shiromiya.

" What do you want with your attitude? " The other faced him, without holding the package. " Do you want to win over my daughter by giving her likes? Take away from me the responsibility of making her happy? Do you know that I can't give her gifts, so you buy them to try to show her that living with someone rich is better?"

Ryo quickly denied it.

"Shiro, that's not my intention" it was sincere. " I bought it for you to give it to her."

The other opened his eyes wide but did not apologize.

"I can't understand you, Ryo-san," he said. " Why are you here?"

" Do not understand me? I lost everything! " he said, touched. " I have nothing to go back to. I lived all these years only with your memory, with the need to review you. I was about to kill myself when I knew you could be alive."

Shiromiya opened his mouth, amazed.

" Lost everything?"

" Don't you see? " He held out his arms, showing himself.

Kazue watched the other, trying to find traces of poverty in him. There was not. He was well-fed and dressed. But ... why would Ryo lie?

The post-war recession caused most factories to fail. Many of the old and affluent bourgeois was in absolute misery.

"Do you have where to stay?" He asked, and then added: " Not that I want you to stay at my house. However, for better or worse, you gave me a roof in a moment of turbulence. I don't have much, but I can offer you a futon and a plate of food. However, it will have to work."

Ryo looked confused, It took him a while to understand that Shiro had misunderstood his words. However, he was momentarily silent, afraid to contradict himself.

Because, after that first meeting filled with hurt and resentment, he now perceived a glimpse of pity in Kazue. It was little, but it was all Ryo had. He knew, however, that he should not do such a thing, he could not use a lie to reenter the life of his great love.

" Anyway " Shiro grunted, in the face of his silence. " If there's anything better, go. I just tried to be grateful."

Ryo knew it was a decision that should be well thought out. However, there was no such time. Suddenly he looked down and looked at the purchased dress. Then he looked at Kazue again. It was Monday, but he was exhausted.

"You could teach me how to deal with the land," he suggested.

The other laughed.

"I think you should try a job in the city. Those soft, unaccustomed hands of yours won't work with the weight of a hoe."

"I don't care," he said. " I just want to be by your side."

The words seemed empty to Shiromiya, but he did not despise them.

" Before, you need to know: time has passed and I'm not that boy anymore. I don't feel anything for you, "he said. " Then, forget any possibility of practicing past acts. If you try, I will kick you out of my house on the spot."

Ryo nodded.

" Besides, you'll have to help with the house. Wash your dishes and ..." he watched him carefully. " I'll teach you how to make food."

The merchant's delighted smile seemed too excited for Shiro, who shuddered.

"What happened?" Shiro asked, deconstructing, and returning to the hoe.

" As?"

" When did you lose all your money? Was it the Americans? And Sakamoto-san?"

" Sakamoto-san is not very well in mental health" in that, at least, he didn't lie. "He took care of abandoned dogs, and we barely saw each other. Then the recession came, and the money seemed to disappear."

" You have nothing left? You had so many houses. And your gold?"

Ryo bit his bottom lip.

" Discovered and confiscated." the simpler and more direct your words, the easier it would be to keep them. "I have a car," he confessed, anticipating that the bakery woman could report him. "And a suitcase. I left them both in a city store. But I'm going to sell the car, to help you with the expenses."

The other did not refuse.

"Bring your things until the end of the afternoon," Shiro said, making Ryo almost jump for joy. " I'll get you a futon with my neighbor."

" I can buy one" the other stepped forward, trying not to disturb.

" Well, You really don't know how to be poor!" Shiro smiled at him for the first time. Ryo's heart warmed so much that he almost cried with happiness. "Keep your money," he said. " If we can't, then you buy."

Ryo agreed. The other turned his body back to the field, and he realized that the matter was over. However, he could not move. He did not want to leave, afraid that Shiromiya would back down the decision. Then he said the only thing that came to mind.

" Thank you. You are very generous. Any other person..."

"Don't get it wrong. I don't like you," he said, interrupting him. "I already liked it... I loved you" Shiro corrected himself. "But, you destroyed it. Still, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't have survived the bombing in Tokyo, nor would I have the strength to get to the doctor when I had that fever a few days later. Then you receveid me at your home, even though I was just an illiterate prostitute didn't know how to behave at the table. So, it is only right that I give you a roof until you can get settled and organize your life."

Illiterate prostitute? Didn't know how to behave at the table ...? Ryo seemed to recognize those words from somewhere. But Shiro never treated himself that way. Suddenly, he remembered the conversation with Tadao that morning of engagement.

"You heard me ..." he whispered, amazed.

Shiromiya turned to him again. His eyes, dry, were completely lifeless.

" Does not matter."

" You need to understand: I was an idiot! None of that represented ..."

"I told you, it doesn't matter," he cut him off. " It's over."

" Is that why you left? Is that why you ran away with Saito-san?"

Shiromiya did not answer.

"I am still illiterate and not knowing how to hold the cutlery," he warned. " But I'm not a prostitute. I was not when I went with you to Sapporo. Know that I never slept with you for money."

" Shiro, I know."

" So, understand something before coming to my house: before I feared my reaction for you, now I am sure that I just want distance. We can live together, but if you try to touch me, I'll stick the ax in your head" he threatened. " I don't care about the consequences, you'll never put a finger on me again."

Ryo understood how much pain there was in those words. So he just bowed respectfully and walked away.

They both cried when their images disappeared in the distance.

***

"Let me see if I understand," Shin murmured. " Do you want me to send someone to get your car and take a good amount of money?"

" Exactly. Not much, just enough that I could represent that I sold the car."

" And why is that ...?" He asked, waiting for the other to complete.

Ryo turned the phone around, facing a lady who seemed anxious for him to get out of the booth.

"Just a moment," he asked her, covering the mouthpiece. " I'm solving a problem, and soon I will vacate."

The woman raised her eyebrows but didn't bother him.

" Shiro thinks I'm poor," he explained suddenly.

" And why does he think that?"

" He misunderstood something I said."

" And you didn't correct it?"

Blaspheming, Ryo scolded.

" Why the interrogation? Screw U!"

" Funny to say that to me when you go."

" Go fuck yourself!"

" Go you!"

The woman knocked on the cabin door. Ryo made awaiting the signal for her and turned his attention back to the phone.

" Will you do that or not?"

" What choice do I have?" He almost shouted. " I lied to Saito to protect you."

" Is that bastard there?"

" Yes, and he thinks you got married and is living a very quiet life in Sapporo. He doesn't even imagine he's in Kibou, pestering Kazue."

" I'm not..."

"Lying to him," he continued, without being interrupted. " Is this how you will prove that you have changed?"

" Look who's Talking!" Ryo revolted. "Are you the perfect lord by any chance?"

" At least, liar assure you that I am not."

" Ah, for sure, your sincerity is the kind of quality that camouflages all your defects." Then he softened his tone. "You wouldn't understand ... You're not a father."

" Neither you."

" Miya is mine!" He shouted, anguished. "My daughter." He repeated. "You would never understand what I feel when I see her. And Shiro ... He's the person I love the most in life. I would do anything for him. This is the only chance I will have to stay close to him, and nothing will make me waste it."

Another knock on the cabin door. Ryo sighed, that time, staring angrily at the woman. She seemed to understand that she was about to be beaten and walked away.

"I'll send someone to pick up the car and take the money," Shin said more calmly. " Please do not put everything to lose this time."

Satoshi smiled.

" Cheer for me."

There was another brief silence between them. But as soon as Shin spoke again, Ryo knew that, as always, they were still best friends.

" It's what I always do since we met."