Capter 10

The light night breeze touched his hair. Jiro Saito wrapped his fingers in his locks, pulling his bangs back while facing the door of Aiko's establishment.

He lowered his face, watching the bouquet. Reticent, he thought again if he should take that step. He had spent the past five years dreaming of meeting Mamoru again, kissing him, touching him. In his most illusory dreams, he thought that perhaps the time had cooled the other's feelings for Shin. And then he would have a chance ... But he never thought that, when he returned, he could find the situation for which he had so long. Still, why was he so afraid?

The door opened, even though he didn't knock. Aiko watched him from the other side, smiling. He wore a beautiful floral kimono, his hair tied in a loose tail running down his back, while a faint scent of some woody scent touched his instincts.

God! How could that man be so beautiful?

" It was almost ten minutes here " Aiko laughed. " I thought I was going to give up, so I decided to open the door at once."

"Never," Jiro denied, shaking his face. " I just started thinking about our past, how I longed to find it in the past."

Aiko slid her hands down Jiro's arms. The look they exchanged said a lot.

" I also fantasized many times, in those lonely years, that Shiro and you would come through my door ... " Discreet tears formed in the beautiful black eyes. Mamoru smiled, disguising. "I tried to stick to my hopes, but I wasn't sure you had survived ..."

Jiro nodded. 1945 had been a year that he had stolen from everyone, the certainty of life. He discovered, with great difficulty, that death was easier than he imagined.

" But now it's here " Aiko pulled him slightly inside. "It's here, Jiro-san..." he repeated. He closed the door and they both stood face to face, camouflaged by the darkness of the deserted store. " I can hardly believe it's you ..."

Aiko's long, thin fingers slid over the ex-sergeant's pale face. When the thumb passed over the soft lips, Jiro captured it with his teeth. A powerful shudder hit them both, and in seconds Saito's body pressed Aiko's against the door.

" I already said " Saito warned. " All these years have not changed my feelings for you. So, Aiko-san ..." he murmured, approaching his face " don't cause a situation you don't want."

In response Mamoru Aiko lowered his face, making his lips caress Jiro's. Both exchanged a gentle, yet homesick kiss.

"I'm fully aware of what you want, Jiro, " he whispered, tempting. " But, let's have dinner. " Withdrew just enough that Saito's desire could continue to increase. Holding him by the hand, he guided him upstairs.

***

" I didn't know that you knew how to cook " Saito brought the dough to his lips. He groaned at the taste of Yakisoba made with care.

" I was a lazy one " the other joked, also tasting the food. " The truth is that Nana used to teach her "children" to do everything. We knew - the girls, Shiro and me - cooking, washing, cleaning ... Anyway, I just didn't do it because there was always someone who did it for me."

Saito nodded, resting the chopsticks on the plate.

" But you weren't an idler. You ran Ai with energy and competence."

The mention of his former home brought the other man a deep sadness in his heart.

"I went back there," he said. " When Japan surrendered, I left the bunker and returned to Ai. The remains of Nana and other bodies I am unaware of were still scattered. And there was still the smell of coal ..."

Jiro lowered his forehead sadly.

" I'm sorry I wasn't there for you.

"It just wasn't because you fulfilled my request," Aiko said. " What you did prove to me how true your feelings for me are, Jiro ..."

The other stared at him. Was there a desire there, or was it your imagination?

" Anyway..."

It took a fright to realize that the other moved the body quickly. And, as unexpected as lightning, Mamoru Aiko came to him, sitting on his lap, legs spread against his waist, passion in his eyes.

" What...?"

Aiko's mouth sought his and everything was lost in that passionate kiss. Jiro held him tightly, sliding his tongue through its opening, savoring his taste, playing with his teeth, tangling his tongue in Mamoru's, taking advantage of that moment with the same attitude of a hungry man before a generous dinner.

"I don't understand," he said, as soon as their mouths came off.

Faced with the conflicted posture, Aiko looked ashamed.

" Sorry, I thought it was what you wanted."

The other did not know whether to laugh or cry at the attitude.

" Mamoru, I love you," he confessed. "God! I love you more than I would be able to love anyone else! " suddenly the voice choked. It was a lie. He loved Shin Sakamoto with the same anxiety and passion. But he knew he couldn't have both. And, at that moment, Saito got the person he most wanted in life. " But we need to talk so much."

Aiko got out of his lap, sitting on the pillow next to him. He had brought from Ai the habit of eating at low tables, sitting on the floor. Although the Americans were gradually infiltrating their customs, including high tables and chairs, that small gesture brought the breath of the past to Aiko.

" I need to know how Shin and you ..."

"I told you," he roared, like a lion "There is nothing more between that man and me."

" That man? Before I left, he was the person you loved the most."

" But I hate him now!" shouted. Suddenly, her eyes filled with tears, showing her lack of control. " I hate him more than anything! I want him to die!"

But that overflowing pain in his eyes did not match the words that came out of his mouth. Mature and experienced, Saito became aware of the truth after a few seconds, while watching his beloved Aiko lower his face, hiding his lips with his hands, trying to swallow his tears.

"Maybe I should go," he said, getting up.

Within seconds he was pulled back to the floor. His nose touched Aiko's. In silence, he waited until Mamoru was able to control the crying and speak.

" It's all your fault! " Aiko accused him.

" My?"

" Yes! Because you say you love me, but you never fight for me! " scolded. " Do you remember that in our past I had given you a chance? I was the one who called you to bed! That I asked us to make love! But it was you who left me in that cabin."

" I did it right. It wasn't me you wanted."

" But I was willing to learn to want. I desperately wanted to love you, Jiro-chan. I was accepting the fact that we could stay together. However, you left me there, without weapons, in front of a man who had the power to overwhelm me."

" A man? You can't even say his name, can you? Speak, Mamoru! Say it! He's called Shin Sakamoto! "

The other covered both ears with shaking hands. Jiro pulled them off, waking him up, bringing him back to reality.

" I know what you're trying to do! " He said, pulling his hands up, uncovering his ears. " You want to transfer the guilt you feel for Nana's death to Shin. Because it is easier to throw the responsibility on him than to accept that you did not leave Tokyo because you did not want to, despite the pleas of Nana, Shiro, and even mine."

Aiko denied it, incredulous at the words.

" I love you, Mamoru. But I will not take advantage of your illusions to have it. If you want ... if you want me " he corrected himself " I will be willing to start a relationship. Kami-sama, I will do everything in my life to make you happy. However, that love will be supported in truth."

Jiro took a deep breath, still holding Aiko's hands tightly in hers.

"I will not lie, Mamoru. You remember what I was before I fell in love with you, don't you? I slept with Shin the first day I met him. I had dozens of men, I didn't care much about their feelings. And when I lost it, I went back to that unruly, unprincipled life. But you always could bring out the best in me. And I don't give up on that."

Only then did the other seem to calm down. He wrapped him in her arms again, pressing him tightly.

"I love you, Jiro, " he confessed without fear. " I just don't know-how."

"It's all right, my dear," he smiled, breathing in his perfume. " Let's find out in Together..."

" I ..." began, turning the body backward, facing the other. "After that end," said ", I feel so alone ... and my body hurts ..."

It was not necessary to be very intelligent to understand that Mamoru was referring to sex.

"I have needs like anyone else, Jiro, " he said. " Would you live for six years without ...?"

Jiro pulled him, kissing him fervently. Within seconds, Mamoru was back on his lap, rubbing against him like a sly cat, eager for more.

However, that man offered was not his Aiko, and Jiro knew it. The ex-courtier was too wounded and had probably lost his sense of direction and decorum.

"Let's take it easy," he said, contradicting his genitals, which hardened against his jeans. "Let's go slowly ..." he whispered against his soft lips. " Do you wanna date me?" He asked, suddenly.

Aiko turned his head back, in a passionately surprised smile.

" Jiro ..." he murmured in amazement. " I ..." He seemed speechless. However, then he shouted. " Yes! " he stated. " Yes, Jiro-san, I want to be your boyfriend!"

Saito held his face tight, as if ready to kiss him again. However, a knock on the door pushed them away.

***

Shin Sakamoto raised his lighter, lighting the cheap cigarette on his lips. After swallowing, he blew the smoke that mixed with the fog of that freezing night. He leaned against a lamppost, staring at the two-story building, trying to visualize something reflected through the upper floor window.

Anything.

He took a deep breath, taking the cigarette out of his mouth and tossing it on the floor. I wasn't in the mood for smoking. Worried, he put his hands in his pocket, his mind working fast, trying to find a way out of his problems.

Watanabe visited him in the afternoon, warning him of Aiko and Jiro's meeting. The words softened by a gentle tone, tried to calm the storm that started in the face of Hirohito's nephew and spread to his whole being.

What would you do?

I couldn't use the usual tactics against Jiro. I would never raise his hand, never try to subdue, or chase him away. However, however great his affection and respect for Saito, he would not give Aiko into his hands. Despite the time that passed, Mamoru was and always would be yours.

Maybe I should go to the house. That! He would kick open the front door and make it clear to both of them that he accepted nothing between them that was not just a friendship. After all, he knew that Jiro still had romantic feelings towards the ex-courtier, and, after so long, Aiko could probably mistake the need for passion.

He reproached himself for not imposing himself on another. Now, he knew that Aiko liked sex " more than usual " and must have been climbing the walls in the face of so long in abstinence. Grumbling, he sensed that it would be very easy prey for the sensual and seductive Saito Jiro.

Suddenly, however, the focus of his ideas was shifted to a crestfallen figure who stood across the street from watching the same spot as he.

I had seen that boy before. He was Jiro's current lover. What was the foreigner called?

" Daniel! " he called, in a normal tone, trying not to attract the attention of passersby.

The boy looked at him. His sheepish look made it clear that he had recognized him.

" Why are you here? " Shin asked, approaching.

"The same as you, apparently," he replied.

It didn't take a genius to realize that the boy was hurt. And Shin knew that nothing was easier than manipulating someone who felt their hearts ache with love.

" You know, don't you? " he started, slowly, searching for the best words. " Jiro and Aiko are very close.

The other did not answer.

" Inseparable friends, in past times ...

" Jiro told me that you two loved the same person.

"We were not rivals," Shin made it clear. " Because I love Saito "san too. Did you know that in the war he was my steady lover?

Daniel looked surprised.

" He doesn't tell me about the war.

Shin feigned astonishment.

" Really? It must be difficult for Jiro-chan. Anyway, despite living in my house and serving me in bed, Jiro approached Aiko, who was also my man " he chattered, without embarrassment. " And the two started to nurture friendship ... Ah, I just realized, you don't know Aiko, do you?

The American preferred silence. Embarrassed, he lowered his face, brooding over that truth. Saito had told him during the afternoon that he would go to his friend. He was overly straightforward in making it clear that the result of that visit could drive them away for good. Before leaving the rented room, he faced Daniel and whispered a "thank you for everything". When he slammed the door, the American burst into tears.

" It's just a boy " Sakamoto interrupted his thoughts. " You still don't know how to fight for what you want, do you?

Daniel watched him with interest. What did you want to imply?

" Saito does not usually keep lovers for longer than necessary to satisfy his curiosity. However, it seems that he kept it. Plus, he traveled with you to Tokyo. It is not anything, it means that he has feelings for you.

Such words touched the other's broken heart.

" Do you really think so?

"If I were you, hit that door right now," he pointed out. " He would introduce himself to Aiko and make it clear that he would not give up on Jiro! I bet this will surprise Saito. He doesn't expect that from you ...

It took all his strength to contain the laugh that invaded his throat when he saw the young foreigner move his body towards the door of Mamoru's bookshop.

He hit there with a fist, with strength and determination. Shin hid behind the post, watching the scene. It was a circus well set up and he would not be begged to laugh at the clowns.

Shortly after, Mamoru appeared. He opened the door and said something to the boy. The smile he gave me to that in the made the smile Sakamoto disappear in the face. How he hated any expression of affection that Mamoru gave to another person! Now, everything about the lover was his! Your smile, your body, your voice, your touch ... everything ... yours!

And then, when Mamoru led the way by inviting the boy in, Shin Sakamoto finally congratulated himself. Jiro's night was ruined.

***

Saito Jiro noticed the movement near the window. He looked carefully at the floral curtain and smiled as he noticed the small body coming out of his shelter and going to him.

" Are you still alive, creature? " he joked, stroking Minikui's face.

The old cat purred against his fingers in a hospitable greeting. Then he walked towards Aiko's room, took a small, difficult jump, and lay down on the spring mattress.

He thought of going to him. Sit on the bed and talk to the animal, like an old friend. However, he was not yet in such a state of dementia and preferred to wait for Aiko, remaining in the same place.

Did not take too long. Seconds later, he heard footsteps echoing from the wooden stairs. He tensed his body, anticipating the presence of another person.

When he turned his face to the connecting door, he saw Mamoru entering the room with a young man.

" Jiro! " Mamoru exclaimed. " Your friend was downstairs."

Saito had to restrain himself from flying to the American and punching him. How dare he? Hadn't he made it clear that he no longer wanted him? Did he need to be more explicit? When would Daniel understand that he had already used him as much as wished and that he now discarded him to get entangled with someone for whom she had feelings?

" Have you had dinner? " Mamoru asked solicitously. " I hope you like ..."

"He's going," Saito interrupted, before the other even approached the table.

" Why?"

It took a while for the former owner of Ai to realize the animosity. He turned his body towards Saito, worried, asking him with his eyes the reasons for being so angry. However, when he faced the American boy again and saw the repressed tears in him, he sensed the truth.

" Are boyfriends?" the question was addressed to Jiro.

" Of course not!" The other grunted. " He's just a guy ... who ... you know ..."

That contempt ... That same contempt that Shin directed at him, and that Ryo focused on Shiromiya. Mamoru could barely contain the tremor in his hands.

" How old is?" turned to the American.

" I..."

" What matters? " Saito interrupted. "Go away," he pointed out the exit for Daniel. " I'll see you in the morning and then we'll talk."

The boy even started to leave, but before he managed to take a step, he was held in his hands by Aiko.

"At my house, only I send someone else away," he told Jiro. " I think you better leave, Jiro-san. Tomorrow we talk."

Saito was stunned.

" What?"

" Tomorrow we talk " Mamoru repeated, more firmly. "Now I need to digest the fact that you asked me while dating while having a relationship with someone else."

" Aiko, I don't ..."

" This Jiro in front of me is not the Jiro of my memories " the bitterness was clear in the tone of his voice. " However, the Jiro who proved his friendship and love to me years ago deserves to be heard and explained. However, not now. Now I prefer to calm down."

Understanding, Saito bowed before his beloved and left. However, when crossing Daniel, she gave him the most terrible look.

***

Saito heard the laugh before he even crossed the street. His eyes focused on the upright figure, leaning against a lamppost, dressed in dark pants and coats, well camouflaged in the darkness of Tokyo.

" Asshole! " scolded loudly, approaching.

" You can curse me at will, but the truth is that I won that dispute."

" Did you win it? It's just a retard!" restrained himself from flying over his friend's target neck and crushing him with his hands. " Now Mamoru is there, alone and laden with pity for a handsome, young, polite, and a good boy in bed."

As the sentence was going to be chewed by Shin, the satisfied smile disappeared from his face.

" Aiko is not futile ..."

"He waddled over me," he said, pestering more. "And, my dear, Daniel is dominant in bed and very good at what he does. If both stay there, comforting each other, there is a good chance that both you and I will be kicked like two rotten fruits."

Shin then returned the body to Aiko's window, visibly concerned.