Ch 72: Sir Xu’s Promise, Always With You

**

Riding his armored horse, Sir Xu rushes past the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees. "Please be okay.. Zi Yan."

He thinks back to what happened in the morning today.

..It is early morning when General Li, Sir Xu, and Scholar Li gather in the Guest Room. General Li huffs through her tears, "W.. Why would she write us such letters and just leave?"

Xu Kai stares at the ground in mute hopeless appeal, holding the letter Yuan Zi Yan wrote for him before she disappeared.

Scholar Li, conveying a guilty expression, begins, "Actually.. She once asked me to give her the herb that will make her fall asleep forever. Of course I didn't thought about giving such a herb to her. But.."

"But.. What?" With apprehension and bewilderment, Xu Kai's eyes rotates towards Li Shi Zhen.

"When I saw the state in which she was in after the Yuan Manor was slaughtered, I.." He hesitates to speak, "..ended up giving it to her."

"You're saying she consumed the herb on her will?" General Li gasps, "Why would Miss Yuan do such a thing?" She takes a look at Xu Kai, who seems to be even more puzzled.

Xu Kai wants to refrain from unreasonable regrets and anger. Did their time together not produce much happiness? Why did she..

If it wasn't because a maid accidentally overheard the Elder Miss was interested in the Southern Plain's Golden Canola Fields, he wouldn't have known where she is at all.

Now, upon arriving at the field of canola blossoms, he dismounts his horse. The yellow flowers enliven the vast plains, creating a beautiful contrast with the reddish soil and cerulean skies.

***

The calamity of the summer breeze. The sunshine is like powdered gold over the grassy hillside.

Surrounding her is a vibrant natural spectacle of yellow. She lays within the golden sea of the canola flowers, awaiting for her gradual death.

A thought adrift; she wonders if everyone has read her farewell letter. She hopes..

Her sight slowly fades; her eyes begin to become somnolent. A tear slides down from the corner of her eyes.

"Yuan Zi Yan!" Xu Kai searches and searches, brushing his legs past the yellow blossoms. He shouts again, "Yuan Zi Yan, respond to me!"

For almost half an hour, he continues to brush past the blossoms. For a second, he sees a contrasting color to the yellow scenery. A dress.. A person..

Yuan Zi Yan.

He speedily runs towards her and lays her within his arms. He taps her gently on the cheeks, "Zi Yan, wake up. It's me, Xu Kai." He taps her cheeks again. The color drains out of his face. There is a trace of nervousness in his voice, "Wake up.. Please."

The Elder Miss weakly opens her eyes.

Her frail voice exhales, "Sir.."

"Zi Yan, I'll.. I'll get you help." With a hint of desperation, he continues, "Just wait--" He places one arm around her back and the other arm around the bend in her knees.

She taps him softly on the arm, "Wait.."

"No." He doesn't come to a halt, "This time-- I cannot." His voice trembles a bit as he expresses a mournful expression. "I cannot wait."

Zi Yan pleads, "Sir.. I beg of you. Just please listen to me."

"..."

He expresses a bitter expression before he gently lays her down on the canola blossoms again.

The corner of her mouth quirks up, "I know my body more than anyone else, and I know I don't have long."

His eyes glistened as they meet that of hers: "Zi Yan, I don't want to lose you." Sadness clouds his features while his jaw tightens, "..I can't lose you."

She plasters a melancholic smile across her face, "Sir.."

He speaks, "I cannot forget you and find someone else, as you wrote in your letter. I cannot leave you." Tears shimmer in his eyes, as he notices her pallor appearance.

She shakes her head, maintaining a weak grin. "There are always going to be parts of me that belong to you alone. My arms, that are fortunate enough to be embraced by you.. My hands, which intertwines with yours in the cold winter nights.. My heart, that will always beat for you. Promise me, Sir. Let's just be like this. Be like this until the end of my life."

He intertwines his hand with hers, placing it across his chest.  He nods helplessly, "I promise."

"..You are truly a splendid woman."

He forces a smile, "You're strong, kind, and beautiful. You have given people thousands of smiles and laughs. People will never forget the kind gestures you have made. The world is better because of you."

The Elder Miss attempts to laugh, but no sound could come out. "Sir.. Did you know.."

"I have once hated my insecurities. Then you fell in love with them.. So I did too."

Xu Kai notices that her legs are beginning to slowly disappear, fragments of her vanish in the air.

Tears stream from her eyes again, "I wish.. I wish we can love each other once more and turn back time but keep who we are now."

A soft, steady stream of tear flows from Xu Kai's eyes. He presses his lips against hers and tightens his grip on their interwoven fingers.

Her body, as if petals of flowers, are blown by the summer breeze, disappearing into the air.

Gone.

Xu Kai clutches his hands, which now only rests Yuan Zi Yan's red floral sachet.

He thinks back to the letter she wrote, her voice still fresh in his mind:

Dear Sir Xu,

I wish I can explain your eyes. And how the sound of your voice sends shivers down my spine. How your smile makes my heart skip a beat. I feel so complete with you.

But sometimes, we meet the right person, but just at the wrong time. So I beg of you to please, forget me and find someone else.

I hope you will forgive me for my selfishness, for my soul is always with you.