Tell me everything, please

Being back at work and going through my normal routine, I was extremely happy. It felt like my life was peaceful and normal once again. I only wished it could stay that way.

I sighed in relief once my afternoon shift was done. I looked at my watch. It was almost time for my appointment with Sarah. I was half excited and half nervous. The more I spend time with Sarah, a friendship relationship, the more I feel like I should tell her my problems and feelings. It's about time I do, right?

I sighed and said my goodbyes to my co-workers and Chef Ronald. Alex didn't pick me up this time because he was busy with work. I swell with happiness at the thought of him fighting crime and putting bad people in jail.

×××

"Good afternoon, Sasha. How are you feeling today?" she asked. I sat down on the couch. Sarah decided that we would sit on the couch than on chairs with a desk separating us.

"I'm feeling happy actually. Mia is doing well at school. My working environment is nice and peaceful. Alex has been giving me his love and support. I am not feeling that much pressure, actually," I explained.

Sarah nodded. "I heard that Mia was very sick so you had to cancel your appointment to take her to the hospital, correct?" she asked.

I nodded. Sarah's face grew concerned and asked if she was okay, to which I replied yes.

Sarah scrunched her eyebrow in thought. She looked at me as if contemplating something and nodded to herself. " Sarah, how would you feel if Mia got sick again? Can you please describe to me how you felt?" she asked.

I gulped at the thought of Mia getting sick again. A few days ago, Mia had a high fever that I had no choice, but to take her to the hospital. I didn't have time to see Sarah and talk about it because I have been giving Mia my extra attention, which she has been exploiting by the way.

I was about to give her a vague answer but Sarah spoke. "Listen, Sasha, if you want my help you should be honest. Everything you say is strictly confidential and you can even sue me if I tell someone everything you tell me. This tells you how serious a session with a physiologist is. So please, open up to me. I can't make any progress if you don't open up."

I nodded and went through my mind to find the best words to describe how I felt.

"I felt like I had no control of the situation. I know that children get sick all the time but ever since I had Mia, I have been completely paranoid. Mia is what keeps me going and makes me strong. I think what scared me the most was this was the first time Mia ever got that sick and I would have let my fear and paranoia overtake me if it wasn't for the help of Alex."

"I see, so is Alex also part of the people who give you support emotionally and helps you?"

I nodded, "Greatly. He is like my big brother who I look up to."

Sarah smiled. "That's great to hear that you have someone that is there for you. You must always keep in mind that humans need someone to support them because it reduces stress and increases our mental well-being. It can be a friend, a family member, or someone we love romantically."

I nodded and she continued, "I would like to ask you what happened with Mia's father and what struggles you faced when you were pregnant. I wonder how were you able to build yourself up with the little money you had while being pregnant? If you are not ready to tell me about this I won't push you."

The room was still. I wondered if I should tell the full story to Sarah, who I didn't know for long, and finally decided to tell her the part I told Alex and Chef Ronald. I explained everything that happened but I excluded the part of Miguel.

Sarah stared at me and then frowned. "I can tell that you are skipping something important. Something important to YOU. Tell me, Sasha, how were you able to have a job in a well-known hotel and especially buying a house? You had no help from anyone whatsoever?" she asked.

Once again I was caught. She hit the nail right on the head. When Alex asked what happened, I also didn't give him a complete story, yet he didn't push me but Sarah did. I can't blame her because she is supposed to know everything about me to help, I guess. I never mentioned Miguel to anybody and the only one that knows is Layla.

'I guess I should just tell her already. I wonder why I have been keeping this to myself though.' I thought to myself but I already knew the answer to that.

"Well..." I started.

"Well?"

"Well, there was this man called Miguel. We met when I was surrounded by these gangsters and I was few weeks pregnant at that time. He saved me and that was when it all started," I explained to Sarah how he helped me during my hard times and the reason why he did it. I told her about our developed friendship and also that he suddenly left once I gave birth to Mia.

"He did, though, leave me with a house and a job like he promised..." I finished. Sarah's eyes softened.

"How did you feel when he left you? Did it remind you of the father of Mia?"

I shook my head. "Definitely not. Unlike Leo, who was a liar, backstabber, and cheater, Miguel was kind, generous, and still took care of me even when he left. What hurts me the most was that I felt like I was a charity case for him and once his job was done, he didn't have to bother keeping in contact with me."

"You loved him, didn't you?" she asked which I nodded in reply.

She wrote down in her book which took a while. "Does this, the father of Mia, your own father, and your past trusted friend make you feel you can't trust people or can't open up to them easily?" she asked.

I hesitantly nodded.

"I see. Listen, Sasha, it is important to not trust people so easily but you must be aware that just because they hurt you doesn't mean that the people who are and will be close to you, will do the same. You should be aware of that. As for the guy, Miguel, I think that he may have had his reasons. He sounds like he is a good person to me. After all, he saved you twice. If I may ask, when you saw him again did your feelings for him return?" she asked and raised a brow.

I remained silent. Sarah nodded because she already had her answer.

"Well then, let's go grab a bite to eat," she said and smiled. The tension left the room and I was glad this session was over.

The conversation with Miguel made me wonder if I will see him again. Maybe I will, maybe not, but I knew deep in my heart I wanted to see him again.

***

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