Chapter Nineteen: This is My Life Now

I decided I would sweet talk my way in with Ava, which included making dinner for her and having wine ready. Alcohol and food was always the way to her heart. I had just had to wait for her to get back from work. Ava and I had known each for a while now and we had barely fought. Sometimes we fought over clothes, over leaving things around the house, or when I wouldn't go out and she wanted to. They were all petty fights though, things we got over quickly. I didn't want this to turn into a fight though or have to lie to her about anything. Maybe now I had sorted out my situation I can finally be more present again.

"Oh god, is that my curry I smell?"

Of course I made sure to make her favourite food, I wasn't going to win her over with cheese toasties. She came into the kitchen still in her work clothes, looking exhausted, I knew she hated the night shift and it always showed.

"I thought I would treat you," I informed her as I walked over to hand her the glass of wine I had ready and she took it, looking at me a little suspiciously as she did. "And...maybe to talk."

"Ah, so you're trying to butter me to tell me what you didn't want to tell me earlier?" Ava guessed. "And yes I could tell you were avoiding the subject this morning."

"Yes, okay, you got me," I admitted. "Get changed first and I'll put this out on the table and we'll talk there."

Ava gladly followed my instructions, as she wanted nothing more than to get out of her uniform. I served up dinner, and set up the dining table for us, which was usually something we didn't bother using for eating, more storage, but tonight it felt appropriate.

"Hmmm, damn this taste good. You've gotten better at cooking," Ava commented, chewing away.

"I'm glad you think so, but what you didn't see was I burnt the first batch of rice," I told her.

She laughed at me. I had a bad run with cooking and tended to just cook the simple things as I could definitely burn something down easily. "Okay, okay, so what exactly is it you need to tell me? Is it about Clarke?"

I hesitated before answering, taking a sip of my wine before I spoke, reminding myself that she would definitely understand.

"I wasn't completely truthful about staying the night at his place," I admitted. "I mean I did stay...but in his bed...after we...well slept together again."

I waited for Ava's reaction but she was surprisingly calm. "I had feeling when you mentioned staying there this morning. Why didn't you just tell me?"

"I was afraid," I said, bitting my lip. "I know you're big on relationships and love and so I figured you wouldn't love the idea of me just having casual sex...especially with Clarke. Cause, well we've also made a deal to keep having sex...but jut sex no relationship."

That perked Ava's interest and it definitely wasn't what she expected me to say at the point, but who can blame her? I just told her I was having casual sex with my boss.

"So, like friends with benefits?" Ava asked slowly, gathering herself slightly.

"Yeah, I guess, expect I wouldn't say we're friend. Even though we do get along now though," I mused. "I was just a little worried you would think I was...insane."

"Well, you are insane, you got that right," Ava nodded, pointing her fork at me. "However, that does not mean I'm going to ridicule you. Do I think it's a good idea? No...I think he's your boss and it could back fire and I think you deserve better, but I also want you to just be happy and if this is what makes you happy then I'm fine with it."

"You think I deserve better?" I asked interested.

"I just think you deserve a relationship where you can talk about your problems and be looked after," Ava shrugged, like it wasn't a big deal.

"You're not serious, are you?" I asked her. "It's literally what I have you and Kieran for, right?"

She rolled her eyes slightly. "You know what I mean."

"I do, and it's just...not what I want," I admitted. "Look, don't get me wrong, I know relationships can be great. For a long time me and Isaac were great. I mean...I loved him you know that, but when it ended it was so royally fucked up. I don't want to feel like that again, not yet anyway. I'm not ready to open myself up like that again. I'm too young for that right now."

"Okay, I get all that, I really do," Ava nodded at me. "Do you really think I'm such a relationship person?"

"You are literally the only reason Isaac and I dated," I reminded her. "I still don't know what you did to make Isaac notice me, but it's possibly one of the only reasons he talked to me in the first place. Whatever you did, he wouldn't even tell me."

"He didn't tell you? I thought he would've," Ava said surprised. "Well, it wasn't much. I just told him straight about you and that he was a foul for not noticing you, and then I may have threatened him slightly to at least talk to you. What can I say, I knew you two would be a good match. Guess I wasn't totally wrong."

"Wow," I mouthed at her. "I'm not sure if should be worried about your sanity or elated that you're my best friend."

"Definitely the latter," Ava nodded with her mouth full. "Anyway, explain to me this deal with Clarke so I can wrap my head around it?"

"Well, it's just sex," I shrugged. "Never at work though, we have keep that separate, and only at his apartment so it's not awkward, and it can't interfere with our life, or our feelings. So if it gets too much, we stop."

"Well, I guess that's fair," Ava mused. "I still think you're crazy, especially since he's your boss but at the same time I admire your ability to have casual sex. I think I would've killed to have casual sex when I was single, but that never worked for me."

"I know working for him makes it weird, but really with Clarke it just works. I don't think it would work with anyone else. I mean, I know I won't get feelings for him, so that makes it easier," I shrugged slightly. "The fact he's my boss is just a side note, that when we're together we forget about for a while."

"Well, if you're happy and content with it, then so am I, okay?" Ava smiled. "Maybe we can all hang out now too. You, me, Parker and Clarke I mean."

I immediately gave her a look, because that wouldn't be awkward at all.

"I want you to meet him seriously," Ava sighed, putting her fork down. "I've nearly been dating him for a month now and things are going good and want your complete approval. I'm sure Clarke has told you some crap."

"No, actually. He's barely brought him up," I admitted. "I would however love to spend time with you and Parker."

Ava immediately. "Good, I'll tell Parker then."

After talking to Ava I suddenly felt relieved. I realised for the first time in a months I felt calm. Things had a place with Clarke, whilst still a little weird, it was nice to understand it. Ava now knew everything and whilst she definitely struggled with it she accepted it and I now felt I could talk to her about it if I needed to. The stress of my past relationship suddenly felt washed away, and even my college load felt lighter. Walking into work Wednesday afternoon, I felt good, until I saw Karen.

"Oh god, what's going on? Are you okay?"

Karen looked tired and definitely worried as she sat at the desk. Her head was in her hands as she read the documents in front of her.

"Oh, I'm fine," she said immediately, sitting up as she saw me. "It's him. He came back from a meeting this morning and has been sulking all day. Don't know why, can't get much out of him."

Karen pointed towards Clarke's office and I could barely see him through his half closed blinds. I could just see him at his desk and even without full view of him he looked stressed out.

"Something must've happened," I muttered.

"Well, maybe you'll have more luck then me," Karen said standing up. "I haven't been able to talk to him since then, so I've done a lot of this myself.

"Oh, Karen, I'm sorry. I'll see if I can to the bottom of it."

Once Karen left I didn't waste a second and let myself into Clarke's office. I didn't bother knocking, something told me he wouldn't let me in if I knocked.

"Oh, Rory, you're here," Clarke noted as he looked up at me as I entered. "I didn't realised it was that time already.

"Well, it is," I said walking over his desk. "Something you might know if you hadn't locked yourself in here like Karen has told me. What's going on?"

"Nothing," Clarke sighed immediately, not making eye-contact with me.

"Don't lie to me," I told him now standing right in front of his desk. "You had a meeting with board this morning, correct? So what happened?"

He paused before he finally turned to look at me properly. "They're happy with my deal with Lesly. I mean, the deal is going great. We'll be launching his product in stores nationally within the month...but the board is worried this one deal might be a fluke."

"Wait," I halted slightly before sitting in the chair in front of Clarke's desk. "They don't think you can get another deal?"

"They're worried I got lucky and I won't find any other clients," Clarke nodded slightly. "So, now I'm desperately trying to find a new client...or more than one."

"I thought they just wanted one deal?" I asked him. "I mean, I know they aren't thrilled with your position which is why they wanted to test you, but I thought after you got a deal they'd lay off?"

"That makes two of us," Clarke muttered slightly. "Guess they're still not happy. I get why they're skeptical of me though. I don't have the best reputation, and my presence in the beginning literally brought down the stock price of this company. I also don't think they thought my father would just hand this company over to me if something happened to him."

"He was majority shareholder, that was always going to be passed onto his son," I said. "So now you're majority shareholder, therefore CEO. Doesn't that mean they can't boss around?"

"I wish it was that easy," Clarke sighed. "They're all shareholders and if they all choose to vote it could put my position in jeopardy. They can't overthrow me exactly, but they can put me in doubt which is just as bad."

"Right...okay," I nodded. "Well, you can find more. You have more connections now. I'm sure Malcom will help."

"He is already, sent me a few names earlier. I've been emailing them all morning," Clarke explained, glancing at his computer. "I might need you set up a few meetings for me."

"Can do," I nodded. "Also with the holiday season coming up you'll be getting invitations left right and centre, so I'll need you to respond to them ASAP...plus they're a great place to meet potential new clients."

Clarke smiled at my advice. "You got it, thanks."

I stood up then to exit back to my desk. I realised how easy that whole conversation had been. I couldn't believe the sex had really helped our work relationship, and now work felt absolutely painless and easy and almost enjoyable for the first time in a while.

"Ah, Rory," Clarke said, before I opened the door, making me turn around. "Is there any chance...you're free tonight? It's just this has been a really stressful day... I could use...something not stressful."

I stood still for the second. It was the first time our deal was really coming into effect. I could tell he had done his best to phrase that in way that it wouldn't imply too much to keep work separate. It was also the first he asked for sex rather than it just happened.

"Um, I've just got a little college work to do, but other than that, yeah," I shrugged.

"You can do that at mine if you like?" Clarke suggested. "I just mean, save you going home first. Only if you want to."

Did I want to do my college work at Clarke's so I could also have sex tonight? I looked him up and down slightly and knew that even though it had only been a day since we last slept together, I really wanted to again.

"Yeah, no, I can do that. I mean, I want to do that," I assured him with a smile.

"Well, great. I'll make sure we have a car after we finish up then."

It was an odd feeling, knowing I'd be going to Clarke's after work, but I was looking forward to it, in a way. I made sure to text Ava this time to let her know where I was. Her text back was vague but she seemed happy to know that I wasn't off somewhere dead in an alley, this was New York after all.

Clarke stayed in his office for the rest of the afternoon, with his blinds still half closed so I could just see him from my desk. He was glued to his computer, sending emails all afternoon long. He looked stressed out to say the least. I couldn't believe he cared so much it stressed him out, but I was glad to really see he did really care with all his heart. I did want him to be able to do his job without being stressed all the time though.

By the time six o'clock came around I had to force Clarke out of his office, it was no good him staying in there any longer. Even in the car though he was on his phone the whole way to his place, he was determined to find a new client and soon.

"How much work do you have to do?" Clarke asked I put my bag down on the dining table. I had a lot of my stuff with me because I usually came straight from college to work.

"Oh maybe an hour," I answered him, "shouldn't be too long, if that's okay?"

"No, of course it's not," Clarke assured him. "I was just thinking I've got a few things I want to finish up anyway and I can get Rosa to get us some dinner."

"Oh, yes, food," I moaned slightly. "I could definitely go for someone food."

"Rosa makes a mean meal, trust me," Clarke assured me. "I'll let her know."

The next hour was interesting. I worked on my assignment while Clarke was nowhere to been for the most of the time, until Rosa finished making dinner, which was the best lamb stir-fry I had ever tasted.

"So how did the client hunting go?" I asked Clarke as we ate dinner.

He nodded slightly. "I got a few replies, but I think I'll get something more concrete once we roll-out Lesly's product in stores. Some people definitely don't have that much trust in me."

"What do you mean?" I frowned.

"Well, I'm Clarke Watson, like you've always said," he shrugged slightly. "I have reputation and most of these people don't think I can run a business."

"I said all that in anger... a lot of the time," I added. "You have to keep trying though. They only way to change what people think is show them. Isn't that why you following the advice of your PR team constantly, like dating Alicia? Maybe you should spend more time with her if you're worried."

"I feel awful about Alicia. I mean, she's my friend and she's doing this for me, and I haven't seen her in weeks," he shook his head slightly. "Either way these people don't care about who I date, that's not for them. When it comes to business they care about what I've done and how much money I've made...just like that's all the board cares about."

"Well, it's not like you don't know what you're doing. You're learning fast, and you seem to know how a lot of it works anyway," I told Clarke. "You went to college for all this didn't you?"

Clarke almost laughed slightly. "That feels like an entirety ago. I almost didn't want to do it too. Never been happier my Dad forced me to go."

"He forced you?" I asked surprised.

"Well, no surprise I was a jerk straight out of high school and I was rich so all I wanted to do was travel, drink and party," Clarke explained. "Dad wasn't going to have any of though and in-turn we had to make a deal. Even back then we wanted me to run the business so he told me I had to go to college and graduate too and then once I finished I go could off and do what I wanted for a while. I remember thinking I could just fuck him and run off but he had control over my money and that's all I cared about back them."

"Henry wanted you to live your life, but reasonably," I pointed out. "When...were you supposed to start working with him?"

"Next year," Clarke muttered. "He was getting pretty sick of me getting arrested and honestly I think he was right. It weird to think next year I would've been working with him constantly and before...I hardly saw him...."

Clarke's voice trailed off slightly and he looked away from me and I frowned slightly. Clarke had talked about Henry before, but he had never gotten really personal about him. I knew it was a hard topic for him, but maybe talking about it would be good for him. Before I could say anything else though Clarke got up from the table, grabbing our empty dishes as he did and left the room rather quickly. I sighed immediately. I wanted to see Clarke emotional and trying for once, but at the same time it felt weird, like it wasn't the guy I got to know. Which Clarke Watson did I want to share my bed with?