Truck Fu

Tanaka moved forward to intercept Satou.

"Diesel, while I fight him, think of a way to ambush him. It doesn't seem like he's going to give me a chance for a clean hit."

"Eh? I'll try. But what can a truck do against a hero?" Diesel was worried for both of their safety.

"Plenty." A similar aura of ferocity started enveloping Tanaka. It was like watching two masters sizing each other up. In reality, the sight of a hero facing off against a truck would be humorous, if it weren't for the chills their auras gave off.

Tanaka accelerated forward, and in response, the hero also lunged toward him. In a flash, the two of them met, having moved faster than Diesel could see.

"Heaven's Piercing Sword!"

"Bone Chilling Hood!"

The two attacks collided, the energy from them rippling off and sending a shockwave through the area. It seemed like they were fixed in place for a moment, the power of their attacks having created a deadlock. After the brief clash, the two forces broke off and moved a slight distance backward before swinging around for a follow-up attack.

"Vorpal Revolution!" Satou's sword spun in a horizontal arc, creating a pulse that seemingly split the air in two.

"Mountain Cleaving Truck Ramp!" A metal ramp that extended from the rear of his trailer slid out and cut the air, creating an arc of qi as a result.

The two attacks collided in mid-air, causing an explosion that rocked the surroundings.

"It seems like you're not just any normal truck." Satou smirked.

"Of course not, I expended quite a bit of karma into mastering cultivation techniques. I'm just getting started." Tanaka shrugged as he bounced around more easily than any truck should've been able to.

As Satou continued striking furiously with his sword, Tanaka spun around like a nimble top, swinging his open doors to block and take swipes at the hero. The two continued to fire off powerful-sounding attacks at each other like it was some shounen battle anime.

Diesel's vision was spinning from the scene. He had never expected something like this! The mere sight of Tanaka's Truck Fu was out of this world! Where was his popcorn gasoline?

"Ack! Not the time to be admiring things!"

Diesel snapped out of it and tried to focus on some way to help Tanaka out. There was no way that he would be able to charge in for a surprise attack. It would be like trying to flick a rock into the path of a tornado; he would just be swept up and demolished in its path.

How else could he get Satou to pause? What could even distract him at this point? Trying to dig up some more leverage, Diesel called out to him.

"Hero Satou! Why are you trying to leave this world? Aren't you beloved here? Didn't you successfully save the world and become its ruler? Why the need to go elsewhere?"

Hearing Diesel's questions, Satou broke off from his flurry of attacks and jumped back. Neither he nor Tanaka was making much gain in the stalemate.

"Hmmph. I was happy, at first. Finally, finally, there were people who appreciated me for who I was meant to be. I grew powerful. I gained fans. I got rich. I bedded women. I became a king." Although it sounded like Satou had the time of his life, the expression on his face was one who was not satisfied.

"Then, why? What is there to gain from doing this?" At this point, even Tanaka was curious, standing still to wait for his answer.

"This is an isekai world. That much is true…but… but… I just can't seem to be satisfied! Where are my anime waifus?! Where are the tsunderes and yanderes and 'deres' that I can't seem to remember what they are called?!"

"Um… don't the girls here fit some of those?" Diesel questioned.

"I mean… you are the king. Can't you, like, command them?" Tanaka followed up.

Ignoring them, Satou continued to rant. "Where are the elves and animal ear girls and all those other interspecies cuties?"

Tanaka and Diesel could only stare blankly at this.

"Where is the moeness of the imouto characters and the allure of mature onee-sans? Where are my generic tropey stereotypes that I've come to love all these years!"

"Um…you're lucky we aren't police trucks."

"No, really. Did the wrong part of you level up?"

The two trucks looked at each other. As the aura around the hero continued to glow brightly, they couldn't help but feel like they were fighting a lost cause.

Satou stomped his foot loudly. "You don't get it! 3D does not equal to 2D! 2D is justice! There is a beauty to the 2D form that invokes a fire in me! Even if I try to have my girls act in such a way, it would only be a shallow imitation!"

Thinking about it before, Diesel recalled that Satou's 'collection' had been solely in the form of drawn material. Nowhere in the pile was a single photo of a real-life girl. In that case, Diesel had an idea.

"Hey Hero Satou, do you know why you ended up in this world in the first place?"

"Why, I recall a truck speeding towards me moments before waking up here. That is partially why I hold such animosity to your forms now." Satou started to point his sword at them again.

"Ah…about that…what if I told you that a goose had isekai-ed you instead? Kami-sama, could you send him the memories from that time?"

After a few moments, Satou scoffed, thinking it was just a way to buy time. "Seriously, you could've thought of a more convincing way to- urk!"

Suddenly, the scene of his service was placed in his head. Satou saw how a goose had dropped a brick on his head moments before the truck had swerved around him and skidded to a stop.

"Oh, so you were telling the truth. But why does that matter?"

"Well… what if we told you that we can send you to the right place this time?"

Satou hesitated. "Truly? You can send me to a 2D world? How can you guarantee that?"

"I can."

Kami-sama jumped down from a portal, backing up that claim. He calmly walked over to Satou and placed a hand on his head.

"I apologize for the mistake. It seems like you were sent to a world that was too 'normal' for your tastes. How about this world?"

Immediately, Satou saw glimpses of the anime world of his dreams, complete with everything that he had desired.

"Of course, you would have to give up all of your current abilities to go there. But it's not like you would need it in a trashy, R18 paradise anyways." Kami-sama coughed as he mumbled the fine part of the contract.

"Who cares about that? It's everything that I ever wanted! I'll go!" Satou threw aside his sword and embraced that possibility.

Kami-sama made sure to yoink the smartphone in Satou's pocket before motioning for Diesel to go ahead. Similarly, Tanaka backed away. "He's all yours. You managed to convince him."

"Eh? Really? Don't mind if I do." Revving his engine, Diesel did what he did best – a straight collusion with no schemes, no enhancements, and no special circumstances.

As the former hero flew through the air and crumpled into a heap, his spirit flew off, presumably into the world of his dreams.

"Ohoho, guess he'll find out that things aren't always as convenient as one wants." Kami-sama chuckled.

"Eh? What do you mean by that? You didn't trick him, did you?" Diesel wondered.

"No. He got the world he wanted, but as a standard, plain old human. He'll soon find his limits when he realizes that he doesn't have the 'stats' to 'keep it up' compared to the MC."

"Oof, the sad fate of a side character in a harem series. There's nothing more dreadful as having your waifus getting claimed by others," sighed Tanaka.

"Since that is over with, there's just one more thing to talk about." Kami-sama walked over to Diesel and put a hand on his hood. "You've finally gained enough karma to return to being human again."

"I, what!?" Diesel cried out. It had been much shorter than he had expected. Kami-sama told him that it would take years, but it had only been a few months so far.

Kami-sama scratched his chin. "Well, a few of your last jobs resulted in quite the karma gain. Servicing those that are very powerful, most of the time, yields a high reward in karma."

"Oh, that makes sense." Diesel did send off a powerful wizard, and just now, an undefeated champion of the world. That seemed to amount to much more than he needed to fulfill his goal.

"Or you can stick around and cultivate into an amazing truck like me. I wouldn't mind training a disciple," Tanaka said, in a joking tone. He knew of Diesel's desires of being human again, but at the same time, who could resist the possibility of learning Truck Fu?

"Now then, Diesel, which will you choose?" Kami-sama stared at him, waiting for a decision.

"I…I-"