Modest Doubt is Called the Beacon of the Wise

The brightness of the orange and yellow flames starkly contrasted the darkness of the night. The blackness of this night seemed cold and absolute; even the stars seemed to hide away as the storm continued to threaten the skies but not quite hit. Two men stayed at the fire this night and kept their conversation when all of their comrades retreated to their bunks.

That night the common area for the royal guard was heavy with unease. There was always a noticeable separation and contrast between the Queen's guard and Durai's personal guard, but today the difference and divide between the two groups were undeniable. Though the two groups had separate barracks in separate buildings, they shared the same courtyard common area and dining hall. And the silence that Durai's men were consumed in after returning from the wilds was a tantalizing mystery to the other guards. Finally, the tension within that secrecy became too much for either set of men to sit comfortably with, and they all retired for an early night.

Only Hemele and his close friend and first lieutenant Jian remained behind into the quieted night. Jian had a long wooden pole that he kept poking the fire with. He was older than most of the men, though not an elderly or even middle-aged man by any means. He looked far younger than he was as he took such good care of himself physically. He was always an endearing combination of an older man's jaded sarcasm and a young man's mischievous playfulness. It gave him an undeniable charismatic brilliance. Perhaps this was why Hemele liked him so much.

And Jian's closeness with his captain was in no way because of his seniority over the him and the company. Hemele was a man whose honor, duty, and truthfulness were sickeningly idealistic. It was enough to make most men violently aggravated, but he never compromised any of who he was to the point of stubbornness. And that's what Jian loved most about him. Too many times in the world when faced against the harshest pushback against one's ideals do men often bend against the hurricanes of judgement and ridicule. But with Hemele, one couldn't even tell that there was a breeze blowing against him. He stood like an unbending oak. In the end, this quality in Hemele made his men want to be better.

Jian looked up from his fire poking and saw his captain, his friend, deep in thought. Hemele's metal cup full of wine sat untouched as it warmed by the fire whereas Jian was already on his second refill. "What do you look so damn glum about?" Jian finally asked. "We had a job finally after all these months, the job was a success, and best yet, we didn't lose anybody in the process."

"Yeah," was all that Hemele said to that. His brow still knotted as he wrestled with the thoughts in his mind.

"But...?" Jian prodded.

Hemele relaxed his face a bit as he began to verbally unravel to his friend what was on his mind. "Anything about the job sit wrong with you?"

"Uh, no? Well, what do you mean? Like did we miss something?"

Hemele went back to his wrinkled brow and just muddled through his troubled thoughts. "No, not like we...I don't know. I mean, the orders. Did the orders feel off? At any time did they hit you wrong?"

Jian gave an uncomfortable chuckle, "Hey, orders are orders. Right? That's what you say? They lead, we follow. Not our place to question?" Jian said the words his friend had touted over and over again, but knew that if the end of the world were near, he'd follow Hemele's instincts over any orders in a second.

But Hemele was so lost then in his own inner thoughts that he seemed far away. Jian decided to try another approach. "You know, I'm just so damned glad to have gotten a job at all. They could have had me go looking for a unicorn, and I would have jumped at it like a dog. Since they pulled us to this stupid new division to serve Durai specifically, we've been sitting on our asses waiting for something. And now we're finally doing something, and I don't give a shit what it is. I'm just glad to not be wasting away, ya know?"

Hemele looked at Jian then not having thought of what this assignment had been doing to his men. Shortly after the Royal guard was called off from searching for the Healer Althea when Baldrik became even weaker, a decree was made that the Court Enchanter would have his own personal guard. If some outside harm came into the castle to take one court appointed person away, they could come after another, so this decision stood to reason. But then Hemele was made a captain and given this group of men, and they had nothing to do. The Queen's guard patrolled the palace, protected it and the Queen and Baldrik, and Hemele's men just sat and trained amongst themselves with nothing more to do. No wonder they all jumped eagerly at the opportunity, and no wonder they didn't question it.

So then why was he? What was bothering him about it?

Now Jian looked concerned at his captain's silence. Hemele tried to continue, "You're right. We've been sitting here with barely a sign of life from our appointed man, and then all of a sudden, just like that, we're moved on the double to go and fetch a girl that had just disappeared into nothing before. I mean, you remember us looking for her before. She was nowhere."

Jian responded quickly as though he had indeed been giving this thought. "What if she got away from whoever took her and was making her way back to the castle? Maybe before she was taken so far away that we hadn't looked out that far before being called back. And once she escaped Durai was able to sense her closer and called us to get her." Jian wasn't fully convinced at his own theory, but it was the best he could come up with, it was the best of the rumors that had been passed around, and was comfortable with that.

"What if she wasn't taken? There were no signs of struggle, and even her stuff had been carefully packed away."

"Oh, you know Healers, they always have packs of supplies ready to go at a moment's notice. Maybe..." but seeing Hemele's unconvinced look, he didn't finish his thought.

"I mean," Hemele continued as if picking up from a thought in his head not yet spoken out loud, and even as he did so he looked over his shoulder out of habit, "here is a guy that we're working for that seemed as steady and quietly unmoving as a statue up until the second he gets the slightest notion that she might be close, and he suddenly comes alive. And then to be so secretive?"

"Oh, yeah, that." Jian recalled the first moment they were given the orders from Durai in person. He swore them to secrecy about their mission both before the mission and upon returning. It was unusual. Durai's Guard and the Queen's Guard were in such close quarters that everyone knew everyone else's business. Then at their first real assignment, they had to shut up tight about it. Jian just tried to pass it off, "Like I said, I would be happy being sent after a unicorn."

Hemele smiled a bit at Jian as he knew that his friend was just trying to lighten the mood. But he was still troubled, and Jian knew it. "I guess maybe it's something about this woman. Because of her, Durai suddenly turns out of character. I mean, have you ever seen him that animated?" Jian simply shook his head to confirm that he had not. "I mean, don't get me wrong, she seems nice, and she really is gorgeous."

Jian interjected, "Yeah, I'll just keep my mouth shut on that one. It's been so long since I've seen a really pretty face that I might make a jackass out of myself."

"Might?"

And the two men took the moment to laugh and relieved some of the tension.

Hemele paused for a just a moment more, but then continued as the little tickle of doubt in his mind would not let him rest. "Then there's this other guy who is willing to stand up to my protests that he stay out of it, but he insists on following her, caring for her, no matter what I say. And then we get the order from Durai to keep the fact that we found her alive a secret from the Queen. I mean, what's going on? Is she some kind of witch? Is there a spell on these guys? What exactly is the story with her?"

Jian started to understand what was bothering him. "You mean, is there some kind of spell this woman put on these men to make them protect her? What would she need protection from?"

"Is that why we have to keep quiet? We're protecting her? Protecting her from what?" Hemele kept being more and more perplexed.

"What I thought," Jian offered, "was that the Queen blamed her for Baldrik's death. So wouldn't Durai want to keep her a secret then...?" Then Jian seemed to realize the hole that their logic had been put in. He had just been spouting the rumors that were never officially denied, and only then just realizing the contradictions in them. It seemed so obvious now their contradictions, why hadn't it been clear before?

"You see?" Hemele asked as he registered Jian's realization. "If she was snatched from the castle, why would the Queen blame her? It doesn't make sense that we're keeping her a secret for her protection if she was taken from here and not, say, a runaway."

"Runaway?"

"Yeah, and if she did run away, why is Durai trying to protect her?"

Jian just looked at him like his world had exploded.

Hemele then said what was really on his mind, "And is that what he is doing, protecting her? I mean, I used to work near the Queen, I've been in the same room a ton of times. She seems level headed and even compassionate. She doesn't strike me as an impulsive dictator. So, what are we doing? What's going on?"

The only sound that remained was the crackling of the roaring fire between the two men. It was done; all the evidence that they had been deceived at some point was clear and unmistakable. But which part was a lie? Who could they trust? What did all of this mean? Was the Queen a tyrant that had to have secrets kept from her, was this Healer some kind of manipulative witch, was she a victim, or was Durai the center of all of this conspiracy? And whatever turned out to be true, what did that mean for them?

Jian went back to poking the fire. He tried to look up to the stars, but there were no stars. The only light was from the fire eating at the stack of wood placed in the pit and breaking it down slowly. The world seemed different to him now.

At the same time, both men reached for their mugs warmed by the fire and drank long from them. As they finished their wine, they looked at each other. Now that this feeling was given form and their words were said, what was next? What should they do? What could they do?

Jian said the only thing he could think to say to break the tension, "Well, orders are orders. None of our business, right?"

Hemele didn't answer as he heard his own words said back to him then. He wasn't so sure of them now.