19. Sarthak Paul

I'm never going to see these people again . . . I'm never going to see these people again . . . I'm never going to see these people again . . . That's what I kept telling myself every time the rumour mills started to work overtime to cook up something about my sister Aisha.

  Her apparent beauty is my curse, and my only identity in this school. I'm her brother. I love my sister but I don't like her any more. It's not something she has done but what people around me make me go through because she exists.

  There were days I wished she were a boy. No one cares about the boy who has an allegedly promiscuous, outspoken, slightly strange brother. Unless of course, he's gay, then that's even worse. Femininity in anyone is a curse. If our creator was so smart couldn't he just have created an androgynous being, and made gender superfluous? Surely, there are other species which are genderless. Why aren't humans? Why can't we have sex with everyone around us regardless of gender?

  Years have passed since we had a proper conversation. She prefers to dwell in her own little world of books and her friends and her rumours and the little troubles she constantly finds herself in. I prefer to bury myself in my textbooks, hoping to emerge from the other side of the world.

  I should shoulder some of the blame for our strained relationship, too. I was young and thought I could run away from the rumours, that they will stop being a bother, after all, how hard could it be? Quite hard, as it turned out. It was hard to listen to people talk shit about her and not feel every vein in my body burst. I didn't fight any of them. That would have just made all of what they said true. I waged a silent battle against all of them, some I lost, and some I won. I was her brother after all, her protector, and I loved her to bits. I remember when she was small (though she was only a year younger), I used to stand guard outside the school playground and pummel every boy who used to trouble her. She used to be known as my little sister—the girl not to be harmed, my precious girl. But then she grew up and became a woman and things went downhill.

  Here's a list of things I had done against the rumour-mongers who were after my sister as if they were being paid for it:

  - Poisoned Samrat's food with copper sulphate every day till his appendix burst and he spent a month recovering at home.

  - Stole Mrs Batra's phone and placed it in Amit's bag. He was expelled, of course. Yes, that was me.

  - Tore off supplement sheets from Kritika's final exam paper. She failed the year and left the school.

  - Nudged Namit off the stairs. He broke his leg and was replaced as the cricket team captain etc.

  - Set off the fire alarm and left the ID cards of Abhinav, Sumit and Kanika inside the washroom. All three of them were suspended.

  - Put porn CDs in Samridhi's bag and got her slapped by her parents and expelled.

  But all this is coming to an end now. It was a losing battle; they had too many on their side and I was alone. I had to give up some time or the other. Planning and taking down one person after another was wearing me down

  Running away from the entire situation was the easiest thing to do. School would begin and she would start dating someone and the rumours would just keep getting more vicious. I wasn't ready for that. I had played my role of being the vindictive brother for five years now and I had had enough. I loved her, but the resentment people made me feel for her was eating me from inside.

  Nine months ago, I had applied to all the universities across the globe which offered scholarships for undergraduate programmes. My destiny lay in a quaint little college in Poland that promised a full waiver on the tuition fee, and a little calculation told me I would be able to pay off the living expenses from the on-campus jobs. Who knows, I might even be able to send a little money back for my mother's treatment? I hadn't told anyone about the acceptance letter. My family has a penchant for drama and I can't handle the tears or afford any change in plans 

. Also, I didn't want to feel guilty for leaving.

  *

  'Thank you so much for doing this,' I said and shook Vibhor's hand. Vibhor was helping me throw a big party for my sister's eighteenth birthday. It was sort of a 'Sorry for leaving you and probably being a bad brother' farewell gift.

  'Shut up, man. It's your sister, after all! Okay, how many people are you expecting?'

  'I haven't told her yet.'

  'Fine, let me know. I will get those massive JBL speakers. It's going to be crazy!' said Vibhor, rubbing his rather large hands in obvious delight. Vibhor was every bit the giant a football goalkeeper is expected to be; and he was every defender's wet dream. It had been six years we had been playing together. And we weren't friends. He was more like God to me. He was rich and effortlessly charming, and every girl in our school fawned over him without much luck. He only dated college girls. He was the hottest guy I had ever seen.

  But on the field we were brothers, we shed blood and sweat together, our partnership was talked about in football circles all around the city. We were inseparable.

  He was the only guy I could go to for planning this party, and he was ecstatic. 'Bro! Parties are my thing! Why didn't you come to me earlier?' He hugged me like I was the FIFA trophy and I fractured a rib or two. 'Where's the smile, bro? This is going to be the best party ever,' said Vibhor and punched me on my arm.

  'Of course I'm happy,' I said and smiled weakly.

  It crushed me to leave my sister behind but she hadn't left me any choice.