Secret Friends

"You should have joined the competition. I'm sure you could really make it." Mina keeps on blabbering while we are in our vacant time.

She is trying to talk to me in a whispered tone since we decide to spend our free time in the library. She is not yet over with the thought that I should be the one to compete for the Essay Writing Contest last Foundation Week.

My eyes are caught by a poster on the wall. It is a congratulatory greeting for the winners of Mr. and Ms. Foundation Week. That is for Sean and that brat girl, Savana. Their pictures are on it and they really look good together wearing their victorious smiles.

"I saw your movie review for our project in literature and it was really awesome. I know that you were the perfect one to be our representative." She goes on.

I am already exhausted just listening to her frustrations. It is hard to explain to her that the problem is not my writing skills but my will to be involved. I don't want to.

"I should have written your name on that paper," Mina mumbles to herself. I still hear that.

"Good thing you didn't," I answer back.

"But, why? We could have won at least in that category." She asks again.

"We are not sure of that. So please, move on okay?" I exasperatedly reply.

"But it was frustrating!" Her voice raises a bit. Some students at a nearby table look at us.

"Be quiet" I give her my coldest stare.

She is really getting into my nerves. I close my eyes for a second to calm myself.

"What's done is done. So just let go of it or I'll never talk to you again?" My final warning. She just pouts and focused on her book again. I sigh in relief.

I am about to continue reading when I feel someone seated on my right side. I never bother to look at whoever it may be.

I see Mina's reaction to my peripheral vision. She is sitting across my seat. Her eyes widened at someone who is beside me.

"Hi!" She shyly greets that person.

I look at my right side and see that familiar face again. It is Dave.

Seriously? Mina is already a handful to deal with and now, him? Am I being punished?

"Hi!" Dave greets back Mina.

He looks at me and smiles. I continue reading. I mentally tell myself to just ignore him.

"I haven't seen you last Foundation Week. Did you participate in any activity at that time?" I hear him asking me. I keep quiet.

"No, she didn't. She just wanted to be by herself and read some books." Mina answers for me.

"Ah...I see. Anyway, I brought some books by John Grisham. Maybe you wanted to check if you have already read these and I'll just bring another next time."

He put the said books on the table.

"I told you last time that it's okay and I don't need to borrow from you," I say without looking at the books.

"It's fine. Just check if maybe you would like some--"

"I already made myself clear," I cut him back. I gather my things and put them in my bag.

"Corine..." I hear Mina calls my name. I never bother to look at her.

I stand up to walk away from them.

"Wait--" Dave suddenly stands up as well.

I hurriedly walk past him and take steps towards the door of the library.

I am already outside when Dave catches up and blocks my way.

"I'm sorry if I bother you," he starts explaining. He is still catching his breath from running after me.

I just stare at him.

"I just wanted to be friends with you that's why I always approach you and talk to you," he continues.

"You can be friends with anyone but not me," I answer him flatly.

"Why?"

I am taken aback by his question.

"I'm giving you a favor, so just leave me alone," I start to walk away from him.

He blocks my way again. Why is he so persistent?

"I know you are a kind person," he suddenly blurts out.

"I am not. If you are really sensitive enough to respect my decision, don't make me repeat myself."

I see the sadness in his eyes. "I'm sorry."

I suddenly feel guilty for making him sad. I don't mean to hurt his feelings but I have reasons to do this to him. It is for his own good. He would thank me in the future for this.

I walk past him. He never follows me anymore. I stop myself not to look back at him.

I decide to go to my next class. It is still early but it would be best to wait there than to bump with Dave again.

Mina talks a lot again and even opens about Dave. I cut her sharply and tell her to keep quiet or I wouldn't acknowledge her existence anymore. She obeys me because that is how dependent she is on me. She has some nerdy friends but they are still freshmen and couldn't spend a lot of time with them due to schedule restrictions. She has only me. Even though I am not that kind to be with, still she is really at ease being with me. I am the only one honest enough to spend time with her. Others find her funny and sometimes treat her as an object of ridicule. We have that kinship of being outsiders.

It is 4 in the afternoon when we finish our last subject for that day. Mina rants about all the assignments and projects we have for the weekend while we are preparing our things to go home.

We are the last students to go out of the room when Mina nudges me using her elbow. I am busy with my cellphone. I look up and see Dave leaning on the wall outside of the classroom. It seems he is waiting for someone. I am hoping against hope that it is not me.

He suddenly turns his head to us and meets my eyes. Yeah, right. He is really waiting for me.

I see the curious look on every student's face around us. There are even some girls who are also giggling and are trying to get noticed by Dave. Even with his glasses on, he is still that attractive.

He moves towards us. "Corine, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure, you can!" Mina excitedly answers. Her eyes are sparkling while looking at his face.

I am about to say no when he cuts me off.

"Just this once, please?" He looks at me with pleading eyes.

I sigh. I look at Mina. She turns to me with a questioning look.

"Oh! Sorry. Okay, I leave you two. See you tomorrow, Corine. Bye, Governor!" Mina waves at us and leaves.

We walk back inside the room. I cross my arms and wait for Dave to talk. He seems so nervous. And sad.

"I just want to say sorry for making you uncomfortable. For being bothersome..." He walks towards the table and leans on it.

"It wasn't my intention to annoy you in every other way. It was just...." he trails off.

"You remind me of my younger sister," He softly says that I almost couldn't hear it.

His sister?

"The first time I saw you, you were picking up the trash in the field. Even the smallest candy wrapper. You threw them at the garbage can and made sure that there was none left," he smiles as if reliving the memory in his head.

I keep silent.

"The second time was when someone accidentally dropped his wallet and you picked it up and gave it back to him."

Did I? I couldn't even remember that exactly.

"The third time was when you gave your handkerchief to a student who got wet because some bullies splashed her a glass of juice," he says without looking at me. He is looking down at his shoes.

I couldn't believe he already noticed me a lot of times before we met in the library.

"My younger sister, Danica, was like that too. She was so kind to everyone. She was always helping people and was very sensitive to others' needs. But the thing is...."

I hear a faint sadness again in his voice.

"She was a shy, quiet girl, and always keeping things to herself. She was always alone and had a hard time dealing with other people. She was often misunderstood."

Why is he telling me this, anyway?

"I thought it was okay to just let her and leave her alone. Because that was what she wanted. I thought everything was just fine..." his voice slightly breaks.

"Until one day, we found her unconscious in her bathroom and saw a bottle of sleeping pills beside her. She was not breathing. She was rushed to the hospital but didn't make it."

I see tears fall from his eyes. I feel a sudden ache inside my chest. I am not prepared for this heartbreaking story. So that explains why he is talking about his sister like it was all in the past.

"I'm sorry for telling you this suddenly. I just felt that I want you to know my reason why I was being so insistent. You and Danica are so much alike that I become naturally drawn to you."

He wipes his cheeks and smiles sadly.

Danica and I are different. First, I am not a shy type. Second, it is my choice not to mingle with people. I have my reasons why and I never even thought of committing suicide. I actually want to survive and live.

"Again, I am very sorry. I know I shouldn't force you against your will. This will be the last time that I would bother you..." It is a farewell statement.

He stands straight.

"Just make sure that you take care of yourself. And if you need anything, I would be more willing to help. Thank you for hearing me out. I really appreciate it." He says before heading to the door.

"We can be friends if you want," I suddenly tell him.

He stops right at the door upon hearing my words. He turns and stares at me in disbelief. As if he mishears it and wants to make sure that those words come from me.

"Just don't make it obvious in front of the others. I don't want their unwanted attention just because of you. You are famous here and you know that." I firmly say.

He suddenly laughs. I am so confused about that. What is so funny?

"Secret friends then?" He walks back to me and extends his hand. Again.

I take his hand. He smiles.

"Thanks for accepting me as a friend, Corine." He holds my hand for a while. It feels warm.

Honestly, I don't know what has got into me. There was a sudden urge inside me that I had blurted out those words before I could stop myself. Maybe because of his story or Danica. But one thing is for sure. My heart went out to him when I saw his tears.

Others call it sympathy but the truth is, it is my weakness to see someone cries. I don't want to see people get hurt and cry.

Maybe, I am really kind. Like Danica.

Just maybe...