Chapter 3: Birth (273 AC)

Chapter 3: Birth (273 AC)

~o~

Months passed by in a flash, the only real notable event being our seventh birthday. Even then, that passed by without much fanfare.

In that time, I had accumulated a large amount of parchment. It had been costly, yes, but I knew that it would be necessary. For now, though, I mainly used it for my games and to write down notes for myself.

There were a lot that I had to make notes for. I had a batch of parchment bound into a book, and I wrote into it with a language that couldn't be understood by others: Japanese. It had first started as my Book of Grudges, but it had evolved beyond that. It included notes on things from my old world, things that might be producible in this world. Some were relatively easy to think of like a printing press—just make it into a giant stamp—while others were more difficult like a real toilet that could flush. Some things I didn't know how to make like actual paper made from wood rather than parchment made from animal skin, while others were just impossible like computers. Still, I wrote it down anyways in case there was some kind of inspiration. It was just idle thinking really, since I didn't really know how flushing worked exactly, but based on what seemed to be their level of difficulty, I jotted down the book any idea that I thought up. The pages filled up quickly at first, but now, it was a lot slower.

Not that there was much to do right now, I thought wryly as I sat with my back pressed against the wall. Jamie and Cersei were sitting down next to me, chit-chatting as always. However, the circumstances were definitely different. We were outside our parents' bedchambers, in the hallway, awaiting for the arrival of the newest addition to our little family.

Back when Komachi was born, I was too young to remember much of it. If it was anything like how it was now, then I was glad I couldn't remember. Joanna's labored screams echoed past the closed door, making a chorus that grated all too wrongly in my ears. While it is a "magical" process where everyone should be happy, I believed all of that would come only after the birth itself. Before then, it felt as if I was listening to nails on a chalkboard. Not that I ever heard nails screeching on a chalkboard before, but I assumed it would be just as painful as this.

The funny thing was that after awhile, I got used to the sound. It just seemed to blend together into an endlessly swirl..ing…

~o~

"Wake up, child." It was only after a hand shook me that I woke up. The Maester was shaking my shoulder. Blinking the sleep out of my eyes, I took a look around. The skies were dark now, and the torches' flames flickered constantly, leaving ever-changing shadows behind. The hallway was virtually deserted except for a few servants and guards.

"Where's Jaime and Cersei?"

"Your brother and sister are inside. They've just entered."

"So it's done?"

"Your youngest brother has been born, but there were complications…" He looked conflicted.

"Tell me," I said.

"Your mother did not survive the birthing, and your brother—"

I didn't wait for him to finish before rushing to my feet and storming into the room. Inside, I found my siblings weeping at the bedside while my father stood stoically beside them, his face harder than granite. On the bed, my mother's body, including her face, was covered by a blanket, but I could still see some of the bloodied sheets peeking out from underneath. Seeing all this, remembering, I didn't feel the urge to cry. All I felt was a seeping coldness, like a touch of frost in my spine.

"How?" I barely managed to voice the question. My mouth was dry.

"The child was born the wrong way," the maester said as he walked up behind me. "Your mother labored, and the child survived, but she did not."

"That… Then a C-section?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Nothing." What was I thinking? I knew. I knew a way in which she could have been saved, but I was thinking in modern terms with doctors and technology that simply didn't exist in this time. Not that I knew how to do it even if I had the equipment. Having been a high school student at most, the method on how to do a Cesarean section was obvious not something that would come up in a class lesson. Even if I could have somehow perform the surgery, cutting open her abdomen and uterus, there was no antibiotics to prevent the infection that would likely occur in a non-sterile room. The only way to deal with infection in this era was to cauterize it. So what could I even do? Sew it up and burn her organs shut? The very thought of it would have made me turn green, if I wasn't already pale.

I felt helpless. I didn't want to look at… I didn't want to look anymore. I turned my gaze away with more than a little guilt, even though there was nothing I could have done.

Off to the side, I saw a cradle. There was baby moving and softly crying in there, but there were no maids attending to it. I moved over and looked down into the cradle. It was only then that I understood why.

"Maester, what exactly happened?"

The Maester solemnly came to my side. "Your brother was born deformed, young lion."

"The affliction?"

"I do not know, but I will endeavor to find out."

"He is my brother," I said. "Do what you can."

"Yes." The Maester looked down into the cradle, his eyes filled with pity. "I shall."

~o~

The funeral had been somber. My siblings wept, and my father remained stoic throughout. He was in pain; it was clear to anyone who looked at his face for longer than a few seconds, but he kept his emotions in well. I didn't think it was right, keeping it all bottled in, but I could hardly tell him otherwise since my own face was stoic, except for a different reason. I just felt very little.

It was strange. I felt a cold grip running down my neck, but I think that was from guilt more than anything else. I knew I should be feeling sad or angry, yet what came to me was only this strange calmness and the guilt that told me I should be feeling more. As it was, I think people thought I was being extremely mature for my age, a result of my supposed genius. However, I knew the truth, and it weighed on me.

When the ceremony came to an end, I walked away. While they were crying and weeping over the patch of dirt that now covered the grave, I simply walked away.

When I reached my room, I went to sleep even though it was the middle of the day.

I woke up during the night.

I lied awake, crumpled in my bed.

With not a soul to hear.

~o~

The Maester eventually diagnosed my brother's affliction as dwarfism. From what he could tell, my youngest brother, Tyrion, was weak in body, such that he had to be handled carefully. However, even then, it was estimated that he wouldn't survive past a few months at most. As I walked into the room that had become his, I noticed once again that there was only one maid in attendance, and she seemed to be trying her best to ignore the crying child. She seemed to wake up the moment she saw me, rushing over to the cradle, but I waved her off.

She would do her duty when I come, but the moment that I was gone, she would become apathetic again. I understood why, even if I didn't approve. There were rumors that were going around the castle, rumors that had eventually entered my ear—well, actually, they entered Jaime or Cersei's ears before coming down to me. The rumors spoke of a devil child with demonic physical attributes like claws and wings and such. Obviously, it was spread around by people who hadn't seen Tyrion yet, but I wouldn't imagine their opinion about the child would change if they saw him, especially since Tywin was doing his best to ignore the child's existence. The maids only did the bare minimum for the baby.

In fact, only I did anything more. Jaime came around a couple of times, but only to stare at the baby. Cersei, on the other hand, hated Tyrion. I knew that I couldn't let that go on for much longer, but for now, she was still in mourning. They were all in mourning.

Reaching into the cradle, I brought him out of it with some effort. The moment that I touched him, he had stopped crying. I wasn't strong, but because of his condition, he weighed less than a normal infant. Even then, It was actually a bit difficult. The maid, of course, didn't stop me, but I half-suspected that she was hoping I would drop him. He didn't look robust so the fall alone could break a lot of his bones, maybe even kill him. It would be considered an accident rather than kin-slaying, especially considering that I was six years old—oh wait, seven years old.

"So how are you today, Tyrion?" I shifted his weight in my arms. The baby giggled.

This honestly felt awkward. I wasn't good with babies and spending time with them wasn't what I considered fun, but nobody else was doing it. That alone reminded me of…of things. Things that I would rather forget.

"Okay, I think that's enough for today." I lowered Tyrion back into his cradle. Turning to the maid, I opened my mouth to say something, but I froze, an old fear holding sway over me. Was it right for me to chastise her? She wasn't doing her duty properly, but at the same time, if she did, if she was seen as being sympathetic to Tyrion—even falsely—would she become an outcast too? I was about to shut my mouth and leave, but then I remembered Komachi. Even with everything as it was, Tyrion was family.

"Take care of him better or I'll find someone who will."

I turned without waiting for a response—though I did see a glimpse of her surprised expression—and left the room.

The castle was large, but I knew my way around; I had been stuck in here for seven years, after all. It wasn't long before I reached my room, but that was when things turned sour. Waiting in there, sitting in a chair by the table, was an irate Cersei.

"You were with him again, weren't you?"

"Yeah. So what?"

"So what? So what?!" Cersei stood up from her seat. "Don't you know that little monster killed our mother? Doesn't that mean anything to you?!"

"How?"

"How what?"

"How did he kill her?"

"What do you mean how? You know how!" Cersei shouted. "She gave birth to him, and he murdered her in return!"

"And how did he kill her?"

"I just told you."

"No, I mean specifically. How did he kill her? Give me the exact details."

"I…I don—"

"Did he stab her with a dagger?"

"No, he—"

"Did he poison her?"

"Well, no, but—"

"Did he plot against her?"

"That's not—"

"Did he claw his way out? Did he eat his way out? Did he start using magic?"

"That's not possible, he's just a…" Cersei froze.

"Just a what? A baby? A monster? A demon?" I measured her as I gazed at her.

"That's… He shouldn't have been born."

"Is it a crime to be born?"

"Yes!"

"Then is my birth is a crime?"

"Wait, no, that's not what I meant. He's different from us."

"How is he different?" I asked sternly. "Father gave a little of himself and mother gave a little of herself to make us. They did the exact same thing to make Tyrion."

"He's different from us! He's tainted."

"Tainted? Okay, so who tainted him then? Father? Mother? Which of them messed up Tyrion but not us?"

"No, not them. It's Tyrion."

"Why would he taint himself? How could he? Did he perform dark sorceries in the womb so he could be born a beautiful child? Why would anyone want to be born deformed?"

"Well—that's—then somebody else!"

"Somebody else? You mean they cursed Tyrion and mother? Poisoned them? Used black magic?"

"I…I don't know!"

"So they cursed Tyrion to kill her mother through birth and be born deformed. Is that it?"

"I…that's…"

"Curse or not, that could have been us. That could easily have been us," I said. "I could have been with one leg, Jaime with one arm, and you with two heads. What if you had been born without a tongue? Without a nose? Without beauty? What if—"

"Stop it. Stop it, stop it, stop it!"

I looked into her teary eyes, holding the gaze.

"Regardless of everything, you're my sister, even if you had two heads. No matter what you look like, if I don't care about you, who will?"

She turned away. Trying to keep her gaze away from me, she moved around the table. Just as she was about to walk past me, I spoke.

"Cersei, one last thing."

Cersei stopped.

"Judge him based on his actions. Judge him based on his personality," I said. "But don't judge him for something he has no control over. If someone does us harm, then find him and make him pay. However, make sure that person really is truly guilty. Nobody strikes at the Lannister family in the daytime, not even a Lannister."

She said nothing in response as she walked to the door and left the room.

Once she was gone, I started regretting what I said. Some of the things I told her were on the spur of the moment.

Well, the idea was already planted. It was too late now.

"This was a lot easier when it was just Komachi."

~o~

I watched the sands in the hour glass tick down, counting time in the way it was before the advent of the sundial and waterclock. If I knew how to invent a clock, I would probably be swimming in gold dragons by now, but the mechanics of the gears were far beyond me. In fact, most of the things from my old world was far beyond me; I could recreate some of the simpler stuff using what I remember of it, but things like computers were far beyond me. Well, I couldn't use it anyways because I would have to create something to generate electricity like a windmill which I didn't know the first thing about.

"Is Cersei coming?" Jaime was seated in a chair across the square table from me. On the table was a thick parchment that had an map outline of a dungeon. There were some wooden figurines on top, denoting characters and monsters, as well as two hollow metal dices in a bowl. The corners of the dices were sharp so we had to start using the bowl instead of the table because it was ripping into the parchment.

"Probably not." The sands in the hour glass was about a fourth of the way through so it had been roughly fifteen minutes. She was probably angry with me after our talk yesterday. Maybe she even hated me. That was fine since that was what I was aiming for.

Hate was a destructive thing. It was better for her to hate me than it was to hate Tyrion. This wasn't logic born out of any real emotional attachment to my baby brother. No, it was a logic formed from my prediction on her fate if she continued down that route. The hate that she bore for Tyrion was as passionate as revenge. She blamed the baby for her mother's death. Would you be able to stare everyday at someone who murdered someone precious to you everyday without flinching? I couldn't. Even if she doesn't attempt an assassination, the hatred and resentment that would build up in her, poisoning her.

I had a responsibility to stop that. Even if all that hatred transfered over to me, it would still be a lesser hate. A far lesser one that wouldn't grow as poisonous. One that wouldn't destroy her from the inside out. If it was just that, I could handle it. In fact, I would welcome it.

This wasn't the only path, but this was mine. Mine alone.

I got up from my seat, pulled a book off the shelf, and pulled over a seat to sit next to Jaimie. "It's not that fun with only one player so let's do something else. I heard you're having trouble with the reading lessons from Maester Kail."

Jaimie nodded. I had more advanced lessons nowadays for obvious reasons so we had lessons with Maester Kail at different times.

"Okay, let's see what's going on." I opened the book.

It took quite a while before I noticed something was wrong. It took even more time to figure out the problem.

Jaime had dyslexia. He couldn't read the words correctly because the letters in each word were getting jumbled up.

After that, I spoke extensively with Maester Kail on it. He didn't believe me at first, but I was adamant about it. In the end, he changed his lesson plans, and I decided to devote more of my private time on this. I forced Jaime to go along with it. It wasn't going to be easy, not by a long shot.

And it certainly wasn't.

He got frustrated, and he got discouraged. He screamed at me, and he yelled at me. He hated me, and he hated himself.

Slowly, bit by bit, I taught him. When he got sad, I encouraged him. When he cried, I comforted him, soothing him through the trials and tribulations.

We did make progress. After a few weeks, he could read a few basic sentences. It took him a little while to unjumble the words in his mind, but I hoped that eventually, it would become automatic for him. Eventually, Cersei started coming around again as if nothing ever happened. She avoided the topic of Tyrion, and I didn't feel that I should broach the subject either. Things started to feel like normal again, especially when we resumed the games.

Of course, there was an interruption to this in the form of a mother and her two teenage children. They came to visit Casterly Rock from the north, even though they hailed from the deep south.

The Martells.

~o~

From the battlements, I watched the procession of caravans slowly make their away across the drawbridge and into the castle. Well, castle was putting it lightly. When I was old enough that I first saw to the extent of how large Casterly Rock was, I was shocked to the core. To put it into perspective, Casterly Rock was situated out on a mountain of rock sticking out of the water, such that some parts of the mountain nearly reached up to the height of a skyscraper. The castle itself finished the rest of the distance in height, but the biggest thing was that the castle was huge. The length and width extended to such extent that it was probably roughly the size of a small town in Japan. That was how ridiculously massive this castle was.

"M'lord." I turned to find one of the armored guards next to me, bowing his head. "Your lord father requests your presence."

"For the first greeting?"

"Yes, M'lord."

I nodded my head and started to head down from the battlements.

When I arrived at the lower bailey, I found the Martells were already disembarking from their carriages. Tywin and my two siblings were there, waiting with a scattered array of relatives, nobles, and knights. As I walked up to my father, I took in the appearance of the three nobles.

The first ruling princess of Dorne, Meryl Martell, was a graceful and petite woman. Although beautiful in an orthodox way, she wasn't memorable.

Oberyn was a handsome boy, athletically fit with a charming smile. I wouldn't be surprised if he was a harem protagonist; he was the type of ikemen that would certainly fit the profile. However, he was a decade older than me, far too old to fit the childhood friend trope with Cersei.

Elia was a frail and slender beauty. Well, I said beauty, but it was more of the cute variety, the type you would see as a mascot rather than an attention grabber.

"Ah, there you are. Come over here, Hachi." Tywin waved his hand at me, beckoning me over. Of course, I complied and walked over to his side.

"Father." I nodded my head at him.

"These are the Martells. Friends of your mother," Tywin said. "Your brother and sister have already given their greetings. Introduce yourself."

I nodded and turned to the three guests. With a small bow, I said simply, "My name is Hachi Lannister, heir to Casterly Rock."

After that, they introduced themselves. It was a pretty standard affair, and there was a bit of chitchat amongst them all, which I declined in joining in on. After that, my siblings and I were somehow charged with giving the two Martell children a small tour of Casterly Rock. Seeing that Casterly Rock had a length that stretched up leagues, I doubted we would get much sight-seeing through, though I supposed that was the point.

As we walked, I could see that Jaime and Cersei were chatting and giggling while Oberyn and Elia were responding in the restrained way adults would treat children.

"You're a quiet child, aren't you?" I didn't know when, but Oberyn had walked up to my side, leaving Elia to conspire with my siblings. "Don't be shy. I don't bite much."

"There's no point in talking. Why bother?"

"There are many reasons. Meeting new people, seeing new places. I come from the sands of Dorne, and I traveled through the city of Oldtown to get here. Don't you want to know about them?"

"No. I can find a less biased account in books."

"A smart child, being able to read at such an age. But books can't contain the spice of life that you get from seeing it yourself or hearing it from another."

"Spice of life?" My eyes narrowed. "Youth is a lie."

Oberyn blinked in surprise. "A lie?"

"It is evil. Those who sing praise for the 'springtime of youth' are constantly deceiving themselves and those around them. They're completely engrossed, as if hypnotized, in the atmosphere. If it's for the sake of their 'youth,' they'll distort common sense and even reject social norms. For them, things like lies, secrets, sins, and failures are just spices of life. If things like failure are the signs of youth, then the people who fail to make any friends are in full bloom during this 'springtime of youth'? Well, I'm sure that's something they would refuse to acknowledge. It's all a double standard set by them. My conclusion is: those fools who enjoy the 'springtime of life' should go and freaking die."

Oberyn opened his mouth for a moment, as if trying to say something, before closing it. He tilted his head slightly, then tilted it the other way. I could see him mulling over the drastic truth I had given him. In the end, he went for a simple conclusion.

"You're a very unusual child, aren't you? With quite an extensive vocabulary."

"I once thought that I would like to be reborn as a bear if I die. Instead, I became like this."

"I don't understand…?"

"Bears are creatures that refused to form groups with others, living a solitary life. They hibernate when the weather is cold, sleeping for mon—for a long time." I fumbled the words since seasons in the world lasted for generations instead of months. "What a wonderful existence."

I think he understood my point after that because he decided to do the exact opposite and pester me endlessly.

~o~

"You come across a burnt down village. The buildings are blackened and many parts are simply ash, yet the stone masonry is mostly intact. Littering the ruins are charred skeletons, unburied and un-mourned. In the midst of it all, you see a knight in black armor that covers him from head to toe. Before you can do anything, he turns his head and spots you all. He says, 'What are two knights, a wildling spearwife, and a maester doing in this ruined village? Have you come for my head?'"

"Missy shakes her body, making her melon breasts jiggle. She blows a kiss towards the knight," Oberyn said.

Cersei and Elia stared at him in disgust.

"Seduction is a valid action," Oberyn said in defense.

"It is," I confirmed. "But you have no points in that skill so he's immune to your charms."

"Well, Maester Kull walks in between Missy and the knight. He says to the black knight, 'We came upon this village by chance'." Elia quickly scribbled another note onto her character sheet.

"Roll 2d6 and add diplomacy," I said.

"What? Why?!"

"To see if he believes you."

Elia pouted, but she took the two dices and rolled them in the bowl. When the dices came to a stop, she grimaced at the results.

"It's three plus my four in diplomacy so seven."

"The black knight is not convinced. He pulls out his sword and charges. Roll for initiative."

To put it into perspective, we were all playing the table-top roleplaying game. Well, it was either this or another long tour of Casterly Rock. With Oberyn constantly pestering me, it wasn't like I could avoid them either. No matter how hard I tried, and I tried pretty hard.

It had been a few days since they arrived, and I couldn't say too much had changed. While Jaime and Cersei always had loads of questions to bug them with about the world outside Casterly Rock, I was the opposite. There was nothing that I really needed to ask, even though I hadn't been outside. Honestly, I haven't even visited Lannisport yet, and that city was just a mile south of here.

After this much time, it was hard not to have an evaluation of the two Martells.

Oberyn was overconfident and brash, suave in a way that made this combination dangerous. He was basically an ikeman who didn't care about the consequences of his actions. As you could imagine, it was going to lead him to trouble in the future. I suspected he would have a trove of bastard children and yandere lovers. Serves him right, this damn riajuu bastard.

Elia, on the other hand, was kind and frail. Why was the trait "frail" important? Because it causes "kindness" to be created from "naivety." She hasn't seen nor experienced much of the world, due to her affliction. People probably didn't tell her much because of that same reason, to leave her innocence intact. That would leave her viewpoint being as naive as it was when she was a decade younger. If I had to sum her up in medieval terms, she was a caged princess. If I had to sum her up in modern terms, she was a hikikomori since kindergarden. Why not elementary school? Because she hadn't experienced the extensive bullying that results in becoming a hikokomori—wait, that meant she wasn't even a hikikomori. Oh right! She was born with an incurable disease and hospitalized since she was very, very little. This one made more sense. She could even star in her own television drama where she would be the bright and optimistic young girl who would tragically die in the last episode, leaving housewives in tears across the continent. Also the type to be corrupted in doujins.

In any case, I hate kind girls. The truly kind type, not the ones that fake it. That was because you would misunderstand their kindness. They weren't only kind to you; they were kind to everyone. I fell for that trick many times, and it was hole of despair once I realized the truth. Well, I had already realized the "truth" after the first time, but I couldn't help misunderstanding them time and time again. It was only after so many times that I finally reached enlightenment by losing all hope. Once you lost hope, there was no reason to misunderstand. I had become a buddha. In fact, I had become Great Bodhisattva Hachiman, interested only in archery and war—

Stop, stop. I had to put a brake on that train of thought before I started sounding like Zaimokuza.

In any case, I hate kind girls. This required a second mentioning. Naive kind girls were worse because you generally couldn't know their real personality until they had been truly exposed to the world. It was like buying a mystery gacha ball and waiting until later to open it to find out you had gotten a common rank D toy and not a rare collectible. By then, you could be stuck with her for life.

The thing about Westeros was that divorce didn't really exist in any real form. It was pretty much until one or the other dies, which was a big reason for people to have paramours on the side or frequent the many brothels that littered the land. Well, there was a way to get it annulled, but that was as likely to happen as an eclipse.

"The black knight stabs Missy in the chest for five damage. Missy's health is now negative one. She falls to the floor and starts bleeding out."

"He missed her breasts, yes?" Oberyn asked.

"Yes, he stabbed in between her breasts," I responded in a deadpan voice.

"That's good. That's good," he said. "At least, she poisoned him for the rest of you."

"I rolled a twelve!" Jaime raised his hands in excitement. "It's a crit."

"Ser Lurin charges in and swings his sword upward, slashing the black knight's chest and knocking off his helmet for eight damage. Instead of a face, you see a skull with red glowing eyes. It opens its mouth and growls at you menacingly. You recognize him as a skeleton knight. As you can guess, poison doesn't work on monsters with no flesh."

"Damn it!" Oberyn threw his character sheet into the air in frustration. He pointed an accusing finger at me. "You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not." Yes, I was.

You should have thought of that before you chose something I could abuse.

~o~

A/N: I have to admit that I agonized over this decision with Joanna. I weighed the pros and cons before I decided. That section was also kind of sloppy because I kept getting urge to go the other way, and when I did go the other way, I felt the urge to come right back this way. Eventually, I was like, "Screw it, let's finish this." It was hard not to backslide even when I was re-reading it over to correct errors.

I couldn't help but throw in a rant from the light novel. Probably because I really like it, and I didn't want it to stay as an inner monologue. As for the name of the Princess, of course it's made-up. There was never an official name in canon so I had to make do with what I had.