Chapter 8- Duke Lucas Perspective

I could feel her annoyance and it makes my heart quivered. I don't want her to be angry at me. I never wanted her to hate me. When did I become so pitiful? When did I lose myself as I want to have someone I can't? Who would have expected that someone as me would kneel on my knees and beg for the attention of someone, someone as high as her, as beautiful and powerful as her? I, the most sought bachelor in the Empire, the only remaining Duke in the Dukedom would beg to be a concubine. I must have gone crazy.

It was my fault, to begin with. I underestimated my feelings for her. Since we were kids, I thought my affection to her was just looking out as a big brother to a cute little sister. We grew up together. I was the first person to be close to her. I saw her growing up to be a fine beautiful lady. I was her first escort to her first social gathering and I was her first dance too. I was her first teacher. And I was supposed to be her first love, but I was so cocky with myself, confident that she will never fall in love with my best friend and my cousin, as well as the consort candidate of my beloved.

Now, everything was too late. I even asked her to make me her concubine, how pitiful of me. I was supposed to accompany the Emperor in the war but I stayed as an excuse to aid the Empress instead. I feel pathetic about myself. Someone like me should be on the top, never to beg, never to kneel, but here I am, begging to be in such an embarrassing position just to be with the one I loved the most.

At first, it wasn't my intention to tell her about how I feel. There are many noble ladies out there willing to give their whole being to me, not just their bodies as well as their heart in exchange to become the second most powerful woman in the Empire. And I tried to meet them all but to my despair, the hollowness of my heart is improbable. The more I play around, the more I feel unsatisfied. My heart was always in despair. Silently shouting to be filled, hoping to be noticed by someone whose eyes are too focused on the improvement of the Empire. Someone whose heart isn't mine.

I feel so lonely despite being surrounded by all the beauties in the Empire. I tried to bury my feelings toward the Empress but I failed miserably. 2 years ago, I tried to let it show, but she just ignored it. I was disappointed at first, so I suppressed it, but it seemed that the more you suppressed and ignore it, the more chances of it to overflow. And I am now a mess and pitiful, still clinging desperately to be loved by her. Just like a ticking bomb, my love for her blows untimely, pitifully. Yuna, oh my Yuna, I beg of you to notice me. Accept my love and fill my heart. I know I am being selfish but I can no longer help myself. Please, I beg you. I have loved you ever since. I always love you.

I suddenly grabbed her hand before she could reach the door.

"Yuna, please wait." her beautiful face, who devoid express emotion is now showing irritation as I reached her hand. I wanted to let it go immediately seeing her reaction but I steeled my heart.

"Are you aware that you are---" I cut her off as I suddenly captured her lips with my hungry mouth. I devoured it savagely not letting her say anything. I took advantage of her surprise and hugged her waist closer to mine. I was immediately enticed by the sweetness of her mouth as I explore it with my tongue. I must be crazier than I thought. I put my head in line with this aristocracy.

It was just a couple of seconds before she pounded my chest, struggling to get off away from me. I did not give her any chance until I feel a tear fall down her cheeks. I feel like being washed off with cold water when I realized what I've done.

"Yuna..." I weakly said as I start to let her go. My heart clenched when I saw her trembling hand. Her face has streaked of tears. "Yuna..." I tried to reach out to her, but she avoided me.

"How.dare.you." it was small but full of fierce voice. I automatically backed down. She looked at me with contempt in her eyes. I unconsciously gulped. I have never been afraid of anything but now. The kind of contempt she was showing me is like a fire slowly burning me and it hurts.

"I'm sorry." I dejectedly say. I bowed my head feeling dejected. The feeling of rejection is hard to swallow.

"Do this again and I will kill you," she said with contempt through her clenched teeth. I could see the anger in her eyes. She turned around with her back straightened, leaving me alone with a broken heart.

What I did not know was someone was fiercely looking at me with eyes full of hatred as if wanting to tear me down. A chill ran down my spine. And for the longest time, I feel truly devastated.