a new world

I opened my eyes to the sound of tears. Someone squeezed my hand and begged me to open my eyes.

I tried to respond but words wouldn't leave my mouth.

Something must have gotten through though because next thing I know I'm being hugged.

"I thought you'd died" the voice said as its owner looked right at me. I didn't recognise them and it must have showed in my eyes. They let go of me as fast and ran away screaming for a doctor.

I don't understand. Why am I still here? I clearly remember letting go. I was done.

In the confusion my eyes finally fell on the arm that the person had held. It looked so clean. As if the only time it had a needle stuck in it was for vaccines.

I frowned as I noticed that my usual machinery was missing. I turned my head and realised that my left arm was in a cast. A heavy cast.

The moving around hurt.

As I worked through the confusion I start to notice the pain even more. It wasn't the type of pain I was used to. This felt more like I was bruised all over. Quite different from feeling as though your very cells were turning against you.

I closed my eyes for a second... Well, it might have been longer because the next moment I opened them someone flashed a light right into them.

"Please follow the light" the voice said and I complied. I respond almost on autopilot as the doctor - must be a doctor, I've had to interact with them often enough - went through the motions.

"This is a miracle" he said looking right at me. "You are very lucky, young man. Your brain has been unresponsive for days, and we were going to pull the plug today" he said as he looked at me and searched for something I don't know if he'll find.

I'm not entirely sure he should be saying that to a patient.

"Can you please try to move your fingers for me?" he asked.

I tried. It hurt but I tried. There was very slight movement but it seemed to please the doctor.

"Marvelous" he said. Someone in the background was writing something. I could hear the scritch scratch of a pen writing on paper.

"Could you please try to say something?" he asked next.

I opened my mouth and coughed immediately. It was very dry. It hurt. So much.

"Get him a glass of water immediately" the doctor said into thin air. I couldn't see the other people in the room, but before I knew it a glass was put to my mouth and I was told to sip. Someone held the back of my head and it hurt so much I almost teared up but I focused on the water. I drank.

I tried to speak again but no words would leave my mouth.

"It's okay. With cases such as yours it might take some time. Your vocal cords weren't damaged but they were put under considerable stress so it might take some time for you to regain your sense of speech" he tried to reassure me. No, not just me. The person who had gone back to holding my hand as the doctor kept checking me.

"It's okay Mrs. Lu. We need to perform some additional tests but for now it is safe to say that your son is no longer in danger" he reassured the woman.

I don't know how successful he truly was because the person squeezed my hand even more. As though doing so would keep me tethered to this place.

Now that I've kept my eyes open for this long I could see the person who had been with me since I woke up. The person that held my hand, and whose tremors I could feel.

A woman. In her mid-thirties probably. She had long greying hair and looking at her made my heart hurt.

I didn't understand why. I didn't recognise her. Yet the longer I looked at her it felt as though I had known her my whole life.

The doctor had called her Mrs. Lu.

The doctor had glanced at me as he reassured her her son was okay. Would be okay.

What a strange place this is.

I closed my eyes again. Maybe next time I opened them all of this would make more sense.