Chapter 16: Closing In

Reid changes course as soon as he hears the howl, whistling to the others to follow. They listen, at least that is

something. He begrudges the need for sound, knowing it will help the hunters locate them, but it's too hard in the dark

to simply use gestures. Despite his weariness, Reid runs on, grateful for once for his fear because it gives him access

to energy he never knew he had.

To his frustration, his familiar tactic does him no good this time. It doesn't seem to matter which way he leads the

kids, how much he alters direction. The howling behind him is always answered from directly ahead. From the volume, the

hunter is closing in.

Reid remembers something that troubled him, something he thought of before he met the two poachers. About being herded.

He has a flashback of Monica spinning and doubling back on her own trail before heading off again. He stumbles to a halt

and turns around, almost running into Drew and Trey, retreating and heading back the way they came. No one says a word,

but they all follow.

Reid runs on for another minute before he is forced to swerve to avoid a fallen tree. That's when he loses his grip on

Carly. He almost forgot she was there with him, clutching his hand. The sudden missing connection between them reminds

him. She tumbles, rolling over and over, coming to a thudding halt against the grounded trunk. He turns to go after her

without hesitation, but his fear brings him to a sharp stop.

A hunter emerges from the forest and fixes its attention on the weeping girl.

Time stands still. Reid's mind stumbles over one idea after another in the long, hanging second suspended between them.

The three of them hover in it, Carly, the hunter, Reid. He feels the line draw in, pulling them tighter and tighter until

he can't breathe. The hunter's claws gleam in the moonlight. Carly's tears glitter on her cheeks, huge eyes swallowing

Reid whole. He simply stands there, so torn by indecision he is unable to do anything.

When the moment breaks, Reid has no time left to act, nor the strength to get to Carly before the inevitable.

The hunter pounces in one fluid motion while Reid's tortured mind still tries to figure it out. He hears Carly scream,

lunges forward to try to save her, only to be yanked off balance and pulled away. His instincts take over again, but only

barely. Reid runs, throat tight, eyes welling with moisture as the girl he barely knows dies in silence in the dark.

Reid immediately thinks of Lucy. She must be dead by now, too slow, too weak. There's no way his fragile and needy sister

could possibly survive anything like this. A sob rips from his chest, making it hard to breathe. Carly. Monica. Lucy.

Around and around in a circle, joined by Mustache and Scar, and the two boys whose names he never knew. So much death and

loss and only fear to keep him moving. There has to be more to life again, it can't just go on like this, one endless run

until the hunters finally get around to killing him.

He speeds along on autopilot, letting the kids choose their path, forgetting the world he runs through, ignoring the

times he stumbles and almost falls, the sounds and smells of the forest, the gnawing hunger in his stomach. He stops when

they make him, runs when they urge him on. Reid is lost inside himself for a long time and can't find a way out again.

Doesn't want to, really. It's safer to hide inside himself. He's never been a quitter. His father would be so

disappointed, he knows that. But there is only so much Reid's mind can take and he has reached his limit.

The rising light of the sun brings him back to the present and the moment. He curses the warmth of morning for pulling

him out of limbo. The other kids try to talk to him, to keep him with them, but Reid doesn't hear their words, not

really. Every sound hits him like a muffled whine. He finds a place to collapse and huddles by himself, well apart from

the others, shaking from weariness. His leg muscles jump and twitch under his hands. He lets himself sink down, back

against a tree, to watch the sunrise and wish he were dead.

In that moment, Reid would gladly trade places with Carly. Wishes it had been him. She relied on him, and he let her

down. Let her go. He can never, ever forgive himself. He runs over the whole thing in his mind, the freeze frame

examination driving him deeper and deeper into despair. Reid feels her hand in his, the slickness of her skin, how her

palm and fingers just slid out of his grasp as he swerved. He tried so hard to pull her along with him. He should have

held her more tightly, but he didn't. Reid let her go and she fell and rolled away into the darkness and the hunter

killed her.

It is all his fault.

He feels Leila's hand on his shoulder but he shrugs her off.

"It's not your fault." She's reading his mind. He looks up and sees her for the first time in the light. She is very pale

from her skin to her almost white hair to her clear blue eyes. She stands in front of him, between him and the sun. The

glow of it makes her look like an angel. But despite the comparison he refuses to allow her to absolve him.

"I know. I did what I had to do. I left her behind." He is such a liar. But he can't let the others know what he does in

his heart. That he could have saved Carly if he had just acted in time. Could have. Should have.

All his fault.

"You would have died too." She sees right past him, obviously. Time to be more harsh, to get his message across.

"Just leave me alone." It emerges in a half-growl out of his dry throat. He is satisfied with the raspy quality of it. He

sounds dangerous, like a lone wolf. That's what he needs to be from now on. No more thinking of others. The realization

is so clear to him it chases away the guilt and shame and drives him further into anger.

She waits a moment before doing as he asked. The tiny part of him that still feels human wishes she would come back while

the rest of him draws itself around him like a shield and reminds him they left him behind once. Another good reason to

go it on his own again. It's not like he can trust them anyway. Why is he so broken up over a girl who would have

abandoned him in a heartbeat if it meant her survival?

Drew tries next. Reid hears the distinctive shuffle of the chubby boy's feet. No sneakers but penny loafers. How

pathetic.

Still, his message cuts to the bone. "I know what it's like. I felt that way when we left you in the cave. I'm so glad

Leila went back for you."

Reid spins, despising the confession. Drew is only grateful because Reid saved his miserable life. How dare he compare

who he is to what Reid has become? So what, he left Reid behind. At least no one died.

The look on his face sends Drew back two steps. "You don't get it. I don't give a crap. You hear me?" He is shouting and

doesn't care. Let the hunters come. What does it matter? "Just stay the hell away from me."

Drew retreats to huddle with the others. Milo shoots Reid a nasty look and flips him the finger. Reid ignores the skinny

kid and goes back to his private hell. Time to get out of there and move on. He can't be responsible for them. Can't.

They're just getting in his way, holding him back, keeping him from his chance at winning free of this insanity.

He won't survive another loss.

Reid is on his feet and moving off before he can think twice or talk himself out of it. It takes Leila almost a minute to

catch up. When she does her cheeks are flushed and not just from the exertion. She spins him around by her grip on his

arm, surprisingly strong for her size.

"Where are you going?"

He doesn't answer. It's pretty obvious to him as it is to the others, from the looks on their faces. They've all followed

him. Reid can't have that. But they gang up on him, appealing to the part of him that has shrunk to a fragment under the

constant stress.

The part of him that cares what happens to them.

"Please, Reid." Drew is there, too, holding his other arm with one hand while his free one hitches up his pants. "Don't

leave us."

"Whatever," Milo mutters. Reid doesn't say anything. There is nothing to say. "Let him go," Milo says. "We don't need

him."

"I do," Trey whispers. He is shivering. "He kept us alive last night."

"Not all of us." Milo's lower lip shoots out, his dark eyes locked on Reid, anger vibrating through him. Reid almost

tells the boy he agrees with how he feels. But instead of coming out as grief, it emerges as anger.

"I don't want to be responsible for you." He meets Leila's eyes. "Especially when I don't know if I can trust you."

Drew draws a breath. "I deserve that."

"You all do." Reid pulls free of both of them. This lashing out is wrong. He needs to apologize, beg them to forgive him

for letting Carly go when all he had to do was hold onto her a little longer, but its easier to blame and rage and be an

asshole than face his guilt. "Can you honestly tell me that if you're given the choice to survive but it means one of us

dying you won't take it?"

Drew starts to protest but falls silent. Milo's face crumples. Even Leila is quiet.

"Yeah," Reid says. "Thought so."

"I'd like to think not." Leila's whisper carries. "But I really don't know. Is that wrong?" She looks up at him again.

"That we don't know for sure? How can we until we're faced with it?"

Reid jerks his gaze away from hers. "We're all on our own out here." He starts walking again. Hears them behind him.

Turns and confronts them. Even Milo is there. "You'll be fine without me. Right, Milo?" The boy mutters something and

looks away.

"We'll just keep following you." Leila crosses her arms over her chest. "You can't stop us."

Reid lets out a breath of air and rolls his eyes. "Fine. Do what you want." The fragment swells inside him and he is

surprised to recognize a feeling of relief. But he has no intention of letting them near him emotionally again. Ever.

Reid continues on and they join him in silence. That only lasts a short time. Drew is beside him suddenly, struggling to

keep up but smiling at him like they are friends or something.

"So what does the fence look like? How much power, could you tell? Man, I hope those guys had some food at their camp."

The chubby boy's cheerfulness is obscene and feeds Reid's anger. How can he smile? Or think about his stomach?

Reid's belly growls in protest at being ignored. It just makes him angrier.

"Maybe they left weapons behind too, did you think of that? Or a tent. Soap." Drew groans in joy. "I'd love to be clean.

Clothes!" He almost bounces in place as he hurries, shorter legs fighting to match pace. "Do you think?"

Reid's thin patience snaps without much prodding. "You might want to shut the hell up. So the hunters don't hear you."

Drew's smile drops off his face so fast that if the circumstances were different it would have been comical. The chubby

boy hangs his head, eyes darting from side to side. "Sorry," slips out of him at a whisper. He keeps step with Reid for

only another moment, as though he knows he isn't welcome but doesn't want to go, before falling quietly back.

Reid glances over his shoulder, sees Leila's arm go around the boy and grinds his teeth. She meets his eyes, hers

expressionless. Her disappointment hides there behind the blankness in her gaze and Reid shrinks from it.

He's gotten so used to being alone that having the others there is a growing irritation. Every shuffled footstep, every

muted cough is a jab to his senses. When they whisper among each other, he wants to wring their necks. Reid is on the

verge of turning on them and telling them all to be quiet when he catches a glimpse of what he's been searching for just

up ahead.

His heart instantly lifts, the others forgotten. Reid picks up speed and, within moments, is standing in front of the

fence.

***