Chapter 6

The audience at Heavenly Waters Pentecostal Church was growing massively by the minute!

Every Sunday, there were new faces amongst the midst of the congregation!

People from every walk of life were showing up to listen to the messages of Reverent Ron, to be blessed, and also to be entertained by his wittiness and preaching antics!

Oh boy, could he deliver a message!

Always putting into action every scenario from the Bible or the word he had prepared to deliver to the anxious congregation!

He just wasn't the typical preacher man!

Oftentimes, breaking many of the traditional rules under the statutes of the religious organizations of the various denominations. And he was one of the first preachers ever, to grace the holy rostrum with his street attire!

Putting, practicality to every scripture of the Bible, as he went along expressing and declaring that the holy-books says;

"Render not your garment but your heart!"

As he marched onto the podium in a pair of jeans, a T-shirt, and a pair of timberline on his feet!

Reverent Ron's main topic to preach on was love, and desperately he tried showing love to everyone who came through the doors of the Heavenly Waters Church building, even though, many could see that the love springing forth from him was absolutely fake, just like a knock-off designer purse that shows flake, flake, flake when the hot weather hits it!

The authenticity just wasn't there!

But, he was holding his ground and trying hard to live up to the platform of the clergy man!

And as the crowd gathered in their groves packing the church building and the choir began leading the singing and dancing, Reverent Ron stayed inside his office and prepared the messages he wanted to deliver to the flock that Sunday morning.

With a few ministers in training by his side, he prayed with them and encouraged them to be courteous to the congregation. Because, he oftentimes saw them shunning strangers who were enquiring about something or another! And that wasn't good for the business of the church or his reputation.

He demanded that his ministers treated everyone with respect and dignity, or else, they had to give up their calling, or their desire to be a minister under his leadership.

"Plainly, he would tell them.

"You're not ready to be a minister as yet if you keep on gossiping and backbiting each other!"

For him, the church was all about business; a well-run oil machine!

Because, that's where he was making his little hustling or I should say.

"Big time hustling!"

His operation of the church was like a hotel and a movie set all rolled up into one, and he was always playing the role of the manager, the director and also, the star of the show as well!

Persons were stretching him money because they liked the message the way he preached it!

Some were throwing him cash like he was one of the dancers at Chippendale's Night Club who had just tweaked, twirl and twisted his waistline while exposing the muscles between his legs for an ounce of pleasure when he saw the beautiful ladies!

He was receiving money for christenings, weddings funerals, and from any other functions held in the church that he could collect a dough for such operations! Such as lectures and work conferences.

And as he stepped out onto the podium Sunday morning, the crowed went crazy and wild!

Filled with fanaticism, they shouted from the top of their voice boxes.

"Hallelujah!!!!!"

"Hallelujah to the man of God!!!"

As though, it was Jesus Christ himself who had appeared on the podium and speaking to the congregation!

Frist, he blessed the crowd before started preaching!

He then opened his Bible to 1 Corinthians 13 and began reading about love and charity while many groaned and moaned in the spirit; claiming that Reverent Ron was the one sent to bring them to heaven and grant them salvation!

"If he can't get us to heaven, then there is nobody else, who possible can!

One woman expressed.

"That's for real!"

Another young woman interjected.

"After this white-skin and blue-eye God who we serving not doing one single thing for us; no matter how we call upon him, or how hard we serve him; all we get is him ignoring and silence like him don't understand our language!"

Another woman commented before hissing her teeth to show her frustration!

"... and the greatest gift his charity!"

Were the very last words from the scriptures which Reverent Ron had just read from before Sister Jonson stood up in front of the entire congregation, with a medium size gift bag in her hands, and shouting from one of the benches in the back of the auditorium!

"Reverent Ron, before you continue preaching, here is a little something I have for you to welcome you back from your well needed vacation!"

He knew what he had done to her... swindling her out of three thousand dollars and not satisfying her sexually!

Reverent Ron began sweating as he wondered if this was a set-up or a real kind-hearted gesture!

They were like the Tom and Jerry of the streets - tricky, even though, they claimed to be Christians and working in the church!

Swiftly, Sister Jonson walked up to the podium with two fingers in the air like she was claiming victory; and then, handed Reverent Ron the gift bag she had in her hands!

Right away, she bid him to open it!

Which he hesitantly refused, proclaiming he hoped, she didn't have anything inside of the bag that would suddenly harm him!

"Sister Jonson, I hope this is not a bomb; because I know how some of you church people can become very vicious at times, over one thing or the other!"

Reverent Ron amusingly spoke, bringing about outbursts of chuckles and laughter!

"Would I be crazy to do something like that in front of all these people?"

Sister Jonson questioned convincingly.

Gazing in her eyes, the preacher man began opening the gift bag very slowly as his heart began throbbing faster and faster and heavier and heavier!

He was taking too long... serge of impatience came over Sister Jonson and so she asked!

"Would you like me to help you open it?"

"I can manage!"

Reverent Ron replied.

Feeling less-nervous, his fingers began moving faster ripping the gift covering apart while his face showed a huge smile and his mind filled with great wonder and excitement!

Finally, the package was open and he stared down at the object in his hands in amazement!

At first, he couldn't tell what it was but, as he looked at it more keenly, he recognized it was a sex toy... a dildo... a vibrator in his hands, right inside the church while standing on the rostrum next to the Bible and the congregation staring at him!

The righteousness in him went one way and the anointing flew the other way as he seriously asked!

"What the shit is this, Sister Jonson?"

Hands on her hips staring back at him, Sister Jonson loudly asked.

Where the fuck is my money... where is my three thousand dollars?"

"Sister Jonson, this is not the place for us to be having this kind of discussion; this is our Sunday service that you are interrupting!"

Reverent Ron spoke calmly, trying hard to mellow-down her voice!

But, Sister Jonson wouldn't keep calm and was ready to tell the whole congregation that the preacher man had bamboozled her out of three thousand dollars after promising to satisfy her sexually!

Her lips were unzipped and she was so shamelessly ready to spill the conditions under which Reverent Ron had stolen her money!

Fueled with anger, Reverent Ron was just about ready to slap her over with the bible, but, held his peace!

Since, there were too many onlookers watching him and furthermore, his preaching job would probably end up in the gutter because he was unable to handle a little humiliation or conflicting matter!

As he stood on the rostrum, Reverent Ron began playing judge, juror and prosecutor; asking Sister Jonson intimate questions, as if, he was ready to totally condemn her, and have himself exonerated from this shameful subject matter of him stealing her three thousand dollars!

"Sister Jonson, be truthful, did I stole your money or you gave it to me to pay for the church utilities?"

Reverent Ron asked abruptly!

Not blinking an eye, he had his face frowning and hand held up like he really wanted to hit her over with the bible!

"I might have given it to you to pay for the church utilities but you weren't supposed to..."

Sister Jonson couldn't find the words to finish her sentence and for a while she stood there babbling trying to find the right verbal expression!

But, she just couldn't make herself say it, in front of the entire congregation!

"Come on, Sister Jonson; say whatever I'm supposed to have done in front of all these people; so they too can realize that I didn't steal any of your money!"

Reverent Ron commanded.

"Or, would you like me to say it for you?"

The preacher man asked mockingly.

"Okay, let me tell to whole congregation what you proposed for me to do!"

Reverent Ron suggested.

"Please, let us not go any further with this!"

Sister Jonson interjected.

"You cannot interrupt my morning service and now you telling me not to go any further with something that you have shamefully started!"

Reverent Ron spoke angrily.

"Let this be a lesson to all of you inside here; bringing me stuff! Don't expect me to sleep with your daughters, impregnate your mothers or shack-up with any other because you have given me or this church a few extra dollars!"

The Preacher Man spoke vexingly!

He was speaking in parables and only telling half-truths which only Sister Jonson had recognized, because only she knew the details of the entire situation!

Realizing that he had gentle let her off the hook, Sister Jonson began walking away from the podium and back to her seat!

But, Reverent Ron called her back to the rostrum and handed her the box with the vibrator inside of it as he announced in the microphone...

"Sister Jonson, please come and take this from me! Because I think, you are going to need this more than me and my wife ever will!"

Many found the scenario amusing and couldn't stop chuckling with laughter as the elderly woman made her way back to her seat frowning, and mumbling under her breath!

For a while Reverent Ron stood on the podium reflecting on the matter; knowing fairly well that he had lied just to cover up the details of the matter! Also very grateful that somehow, Sister Jonson's mouth had remained speechless in the moment like the holy-ghost had sealed her tongue shut with an invisible padlock!

Instead of returning to the content of the scripture, he had read from earlier on, Reverent Ron went on to preaching about the devil and his tricks, and if one wasn't careful, the devil will manipulate you into accepting and believing situations you might not have any idea about.

Through it all, the preacher man declared, "Sister Jonson, I'm praying for you and will continue to pray for you! Because you are still my friend!" as he tried regaining his thoughts on what he initially wanted to preach about for his Sunday morning service.

Not having her scheme or plans worked out the way she had expected it to, Sister Jonson took her bags and shamefully walked out of the Sunday morning service vex like a bull seeing red!

While many of the church members bid her to stay for the service and pray over her dilemma because her actions weren't right. But, the preacher man observing what was happening from his rostrum and so he shouted into the audio system...

"Please, let Sister Jonson go if she wants to home and away from the sanctuary!"

Looking at the clock behind him on the wall Reverent Ron further spoke.

"This is a good time for her to leave anyhow, because she might never find her way back home until nine o'clock tonight when most of us have already reached home and is settled in our beds!"

Someone in the congregation thought the articulation of his words were very funny and began giggling away at his comment.

But Reverent Ron was dead serious, while reflecting upon visiting her two Sundays ago after she stormed out of the church to go home and wasn't there long after he had arrived there and waited for hours for her to get there.

However, Sunday service was back to normal and Reverent Ron continued to preach on charity and loving each other. And, if love wasn't being demonstrated or acted upon, then it wasn't love, but only someone playing wishing and guessing games with your life!

"If I'm hungry and you love me, you must give me something to eat!"

"If my clothing is torn - raggedy and you love me, you must be able to give me a new shirt or a new blouse and skirt!"

"If I'm homeless and you love me, you are supposed to help me out with shelter or a place to live!"

The preacher man carried on as he tried making his point!

Minutes later he was jumping form the rostrum and basking in the pews as Brother Steve ran after him, gently dabbing away sweat from his face and tenderly massaging his back like he was actually burping a baby!

For those who had seen it, it was a testimony to them that he was really gay and quietly wondered, if so too was the preacher man!

Working his way out from the pews and giving personal admiration to this member and that member, and to first time visitors; and soon to be members. Reverent Ron soon found his way back on the rostrum and began shouting... "Brother Steve, please bring me the offering baskets so the congregation can throw their tithes and offering and receive their heavenly blessings!"

Immediately Brother Steve obeyed!

While the choir began singing;

"I need you, you need me, we're all apart of Gods' body!"

And the flock began hurrying form their benches, making their way down the aisle to drop whatever tithes and offering they had into the collection baskets!

Some didn't even had a dime to put inside the baskets, but they went up and touched it anyway; hoping to receive a blessing while many others had purse filled with cash; but was too stingy to give the church two bucks and barely threw inside the basket a dollar!

They were the ones who wanted everyone to see their fabulous hair dos, their sexy shoes, and the latest designer clothing they were wearing, so they could attract the next available brother who was keenly watching and admiring their sexy church swagger!

After the collection of the offerings, the preacher man began releasing the congregation for the day and inviting those who were able, to come back to the second gathering, commencing at eleven o'clock of that same morning! And many promised they would because they desperately needed a breakthrough!

However, Reverent Ron wanted to share and show his love to the fleeting congregation, and so he dash to entrance of the church door and stood, like he was a security guard on duty! He then began kissing, hugging and greeting every person as they walk through the doors of the sanctuary!

Prompting many to visit again and bring with them an offering for the church that would be used for missionary work abroad, or some situation pertaining to the affairs of the church and its building projects.

It was like thorn in his flesh now... jabbing into his side!

He was just so anxious for the slow moving crowd to subside - to go away!

And as soon as the crowd had gone their merry way, Reverent Ron rushed to the basement of the church and began banging on Brother Steve office door wanting to enquire about the amount of money collected this time around, in the offering buckets!

Quickly, Brother Steve opened the doors to his tiny office and let in the preacher man!

Unable to contain himself, he began rubbing his hands together vigorously, and then anxiously, he asked.

"Have you done counting as yet... how much is it?"

When Brother Steve had revealed to him the figures, he slammed his palm against the walls of the room leaving on it a print, and with his face, wearing a gigantic smile, he jumped and shouted!

"Jamaica here I come again!!!!"