Chapter 1: Remorse

SHANA

"I'm sorry!" I heard my husband as he walked out of his office as I continued to gasp for air while on the floor.

I knew something was terribly wrong. Mike would've never done this to me, especially if he knew that I was 4 months pregnant. I'd been trying to figure out how to tell my husband this exciting news since I found out a week ago. I thought the nausea and weight gain was due the stress and what I blamed as "paranoia" since my husband had all of a sudden disengaged from our marriage.

I got up off the floor trying to clean up the mess I made as my mind was in a million places. I rubbed my pregnant belly as I was starting show. What a blessing we have on the way!

"We need to talk", his harsh words startled me as I didn't hear him enter back into his office. He sounded muffled as if he was holding back his emotions.

"Yes we do" I stated calmly. I had so many questions but decided to let him go first.

"Sit down baby" he said while wiping the sweat from his face, "This isn't going to be easy"

"If you want a divorce you'll get it over my dead body" I said sharply.

Mike grabbed my hands as he shifted his body towards me. His eyes were red and watery. What the hell was happening. Instantly I felt weak.

"I'm sorry. So sorry Shana. I swear I am. I don't know how this could've happened."

"It was because you were angry and I provoked you Mike. I'm sorry!" assuming he was talking about how he choked me to near passing out.

He sobbed for a few minutes before pulling his self together. He pulled me in a gave me a warm embrace. I almost melted as his tongue touched mine. I missed my husband and in this moment nothing mattered. I already had forgiven him. Mike pushed me back looking into my eyes.

"No matter what we can work this out, right" he asked.

"Of course baby! I love you and I have something to tell you as well" I was excited and anxious to tell my husband that I would be having our baby in just a few short months.

He looked at me with continuous tears sliding down his face. I looked in his eyes and could see the remorse. In that moment I felt sorry for my husband. We hadn't been intimate in a over 3 months and I wanted him so bad.

"Shana, please forgive me for what I'm about to tell you" Mike said quietly as he seemed to be trying to gather his words. I felt uneasy.

"I've been having an affair with an intern at my firm. I don't love her and don't want to be with her. It was...just a thing. But she's... she's..." he stammered over his words. "She's pregnant Shana"

My heart felt like it stopped beating, like the entire world just froze around me. All I heard was "affair" and "pregnant". That was enough to take me out on it's own. I couldn't speak. This is was Pure shock must've felt like. Not my husband. Not the man who I'd given my last 15 years to. Not my husband who I laid with. Not the husband who I bore his children, whether they were alive or not. What the f$?!

"PREGNANT!" I screamed!! Mike jumped as he heard the fury in my voice and and saw the rage in my eyes. "Pregnant?" I began to sob while still trying to speak. "How? How could you do this to me? To us? To our family? To my baby?" I buried my face in my hands.

I felt Mike's strong hands touch my shoulder and I instantly smacked his hand away. I stood up slowly tears still flowing as Mike jumped up and grabbed my wrist, pulling me towards him. With a swift motion we were face to face, a place we haven't been for months. And for the first time I looked in my husband's eyes with hate.

At this moment my baby bump was touching his rock hard abs and he looked me in my eyes with shame and regret.

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MIKE

What the hell did I do? Did I neglect her so much that I didn't even notice that beautiful glow she had. How sexy and plump her breast were and especially how her hips had expanded. I looked at my wife with disbelief and regret.

Standing this close to her I could smell the aromatherapy coming from her skin. Damn she was gorgeous. I lifted her shirt and and saw a round smooth stomach poking slightly over her leggings, which made her 10 times more beautiful.

I looked into her eyes as the tears rolled out them. I wanted to beat my own ass after this stunt. She moved my hand from her stomach with hurt and anger in her eyes. And suddenly I felt a sting on my face. I couldn't blame her for slapping the hell out of me.

"Don't you touch me! Don't ever touch me" Shana screamed backing away from me. I tried to grab her wrist but this time she punched me in my jaw and for a second I saw a few stars.

"Baby I'm sorry" I ran to the door to before she could try to escape.

"Move!" Shana said slowly but sharply in a tone I'd never heard come from her. It made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I couldn't let her leave like this.

"How could you? I just don't understand Mike. I gave you everything and this is how you do me! After everything we've been through! All the years and memories! Who is she!" Shana stopped.

She didn't give me time to think before she started swinging on me. "Who is she?" She kept screaming, repeating and hitting me.

As I let her get it out, I could hear her panting with tears in her eyes. She swung again as I caught her arm. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as she started to fall back. I caught her and guided her to the floor searching for my phone in my pocket to call 911.

"I hate you" a slow murmur came from my wife's mouth.

I was devastated.