HEART TO HEART TALKS

(Manik's POV) Mom eyed me with worry. I really don't understand what is happening. I laughed at the thought. Someone like me, who always predicted people's actions, even my Dad's, didn't know what was going to come about. It was almost nine when I went into his study. I saw through the glass windowed door that he was sitting by the window, having a glass of wine. It means I am going to have a long session of lecture today. My last lecture was before I joined college. When I opened the door, he looked at me and motioned to sit opposite to him. When I reached for a glass,

(Raj) "That is for your Mom later. You should remain sober throughout our nice chat." I almost bit my lips. For one mistake, I have to go through all these? There was a moment of awkward silence.

(Raj) "What is the problem, Manik? This is nothing like you. You suddenly took more than two months off. Instructed your brothers to take care of your work. You don't tell where you went. And you come back, you don't concentrate on work."

(Manik in his mind) I see, the unannounced holiday is the problem. Then I (Manik) spoke "Its nothing, Dad."

(Raj) "Still not confident talking with me? Well, Nyonika is worried about you. At least talk to her. Do you know how worried she was when you took off? You didn't get in touch with her for weeks. You come back, don't say anything. You called her daily and now, even if you call, you don't listen to her. Can you even imagine what I am going through?"

(Manik's POV) To think every night after dinner, when they both sit down to talk, they talk about me and mom bites his head off! I tried to control my laughter. It would bebad to laugh.

(Raj continued) "Laugh you head off, Manik. I know you want to." He barked. I restrained myself.

(Manik) "No"

(Raj) "I don't care even if you do laugh. After all, she is my wife who I love."

(Manik's POV) It struck me lightning to hear my rigid, stern Dad, who doesn't even give a little hole for being casual, talk so fondly of Maa. Maa has always been open to us about the love she has for Dad but I have never seen Dad talk lovingly about her.

(Raj) "What are you looking all shocked for? You thought I didn't love her?"

(Manik) "No. Its just that you have never shown how you feel about her or even my birth Mom."

(Raj) "Sigh. You heard about Kusum from the servants only. I didn't wish to speak ill of her but Kusum had a lover when we got married. She wanted to get out of married life. I was helpless as she was. It took some time for both of us to understand each other. Just when I thought our lives were getting better, she died giving birth to you. It was never that I didn't love Kusum but I never got the chance to get to know her better. When we finally got along well, she was not there with me." Dad stopped. I never knew that he loved my Mom.

(Raj continued) "I truly grieved her death, till I came to know of the deal she made with Dad for divorce which I knew nothing about until after her death. I felt disgust for women. But Nyonika changed me. Though she was young when she married me, she loved me and still loves me dearly and I love her. Let me tell you one thing, I was never keen on marrying Nyonika. I had both of you. I didn't want any trouble for you. She insisted on marriage when I got engaged for namesake. Her extent of emotions shocked me. Mukti and you loved her, adored her. I was scared if all of her love was just a mockery. It took a lot of time for me to understand her. She was dead scared to give birth because she thought Mukti and you would feel betrayed." He smiled.

(Raj) "But she couldn't stand Mukti's pressure for a younger sister. Mukti almost threw you outside saying that she didn't want a younger brother but a younger sister. It took everything in us to convince her and calm her. Also, I wouldn't have told you about Kusum when you reached high school, if not for her. She said you had the right to know about your Mom." He chuckled. "I still remember the expression she had when I told that I talked to Mukti and you about Kusum. You don't know how relieved she was when Mukti and you smiled back at her and treated her with love." To think my Mom, who was never scared of anything we knew of, was scared of being rejected by us.

(Manik) "I didn't know this or probably I do not remember much." He glanced at me.

(Raj) "Yes. You didn't. Maybe, I should have told you. Mukti always knew. She was open with Nyonika and being girls, you know, they sorted their way out. She was scared of how you felt. She tried to treat you the same as your brothers without giving any reservation and was a nervous wreck whenever she scolded you while you were happy doing what did. She truly loves both of you. Sometimes, I feel even more than she loves me or her own children. The day you said you were moving, she cried for the whole week. Only when you said that you would call her daily, she calmed down. That ritual is has been going on for more than ten years till now."

(Manik) "What did you feel when I moved, Papa?" I shut my mouth immediately. What in the world am I asking? He smiled.

(Raj's POV) This was the first time that he called me Papa. I am feeling happy that he called me Papa. Though Dad and Papa were same for many but for me I felt Papa was more personalized. I am happy that Manik called me. Hope one day my other kids also call me PAPA. Brushing away the thoughts I calmly answered back Manik.

(Raj) "This is the first time you called me Papa. I felt that I should be strict with you as the heir of Malhotra group but I see that I was wrong. I cannot change the past. I guess I can only try to talk with you and your brothers from now on. I felt what any PAPA (stressing on that word) would have felt. That you have grown but still not mature enough to face the world. I still feel that but kids grow a lot faster than one can expect. Now, Dhruv is already planning the finance of the companies."

(Manik's POV) I didn't know how to reply. It was not that we didn't know that he loved us, but I didn't think that he expected us to share our respect and affection for him.

(Raj) "Well, back to the main topic, at least talk it out with Nyonika about your fiancée, Nandini Murthy."

(Manik became numb and thought) How did he know? He guessed it from my expression.

(Raj) "Your ring. I am guessing that she is the reason you took two months off and the reason for your error."

(Manik absentmindedly) "Yes"

(Raj) "I heard that she went for a vacation after her sister's wedding. You wouldn't happen to have followed her?"

(Manik's POV) It is not that I followed her, but I didn't reply. Though I said that I do not regret what I did to Nandini, I still couldn't openly confess it.

(Raj) "I take it that you are serious about her?"

(Manik) "Yes. I wish to marry her, if she consents."

(Raj) "This is not a delusion? Because you said you still haven't met a girl of your standards." Manik couldn't help but smile at his comment.

(Manik) "No. It is not a delusion. She is not a girl of my standards but I love her."

(Raj) "You love her?"

(Manik's POV) He asked sarcastically as if I was not capable of loving. But I was such a cold hearted person. When the whole world knew, it was no surprise Papa didn't.

(Manik) "Yes."

(Raj) "And she?"

(Manik) "She said she loved me but not now. I am trying to find a way to gain her trust."

(Raj) "What did you do to make her not trust you? Though you look scary, you are not someone who gains people's distrust." I couldn't answer him. Talking with Dad suddenly about my affairs made me feel awkward.

(Raj) "Fine. Its hard to talk freely just after confessing to be so from now on. Let me tell you, I am not changing you demotion. Try to convince her before you are promoted back again."

(Manik's POV) He grinned. I thought this was seriously a demotion. Being in this position, gives me more free time than my previous one.

(Manik happily) "Yes."

(Raj) "You may leave. Tomorrow is your day off, right? Nyonika wanted to go shopping. Take her out. I don't want to hear your Maa's bawl anymore and one more thing, please continue to call me Papa" I got up smiling and went.

As I opened the door, mom was outside.

(Nyonika) "You are staying here, right?"

(Manik) "I have got no choice, if I need to take you shopping first thing in the morning. Harshad has the whole of my apartment for himself today." She smiled back gently.

(Nyonika) "Good. I have asked the maid to turn on the heater in your room. Good night."

(Manik's POV) She stood on her tips to reach my forehead but she didn't have to. I, unaware, bent down for her. She kissed my forehead like she used to when I was a child. After kissing her back, I went up. So, I am not getting out of this place till I confess what is there in my mind either to mom or dad. What a painfully loving family I have! I never actually accepted it.