Chapter 13

Jennie's POV

I heard Jongin finished his speech. Mino who's i don't know of he has an idea of who am i  still not giving me his answer.

He suddenly snaps like he remembered one. Please say you know her..

"I know someone named Lisa but they weren't Manoban, and i know a person named Manoban but her name isn't Lisa."

My heart drops of his unhelpful reply.

"Is that so.. What about the Manoban you know? What's her name?" I asked holding onto the small chances that it was Lisa.

"Jennie!"

I look back and saw my boyfriend calling me.

"What are you doing here, and who is he?" he pointed at Mino. My knee instantly tremble. Im not doing anything wrong but i once blurted his name on my dreams accidentally.

"Ah I just passed by in here. Im about to go back. Lets. . . "

I was about to pull Kai away to avoid the possible misunderstanding but before we could turn back, Mino extend his arm.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Kim Im Mino. Song Mino. Im a big fan of your artwork." He said losing the smile on Kai's.

"Kai. . . . ." I began, not really knowing what to say next. He's looking at me like i commited a crime.

"Oh wow. Look who's having a meet up at MY exhibit." he sarcastically remarked. "So is this guy the reason that you missed the ribbon cutting?!"

Now he's mocking me. I immediately felt tears in my eyes. I was the world's worst girlfriend and I wasn't even doing anything to fix this small misunderstanding.

"No. Kai it's not what you think. . . ."

"Can you just get straight to the point?!!" he muttered, looking really irritated. "Are you cheating on me, Jennie?" he interrupted.

"What?" my mouth dropped open. I motioned Mino to go away before Kai do anything, luckily he did and left.

"Just tell me that you're not," he hissed. "Tell me that you didn't decide to cheat on me, especially on one of the most important days of my life. Tell me you don't know him. Tell me that you didn't mean to miss the ribbon cutting, and tell me that you still love me. Tell me, Jennie!!!" he screamed the last part that caught the attention of the guests around.

"Please Kai hear me out, you're making a scene.." I tried to calm him but he shoved me away almost hitting the post.

"Just answer my fucking question!" his fist were balled, im scared that he'll ruin his special day because of me.

"Kai. . . . " I stammered. "I still love you."

That was the truth. I still loved him. But if you ask me to weigh things, maybe that's when I would stop and think.

"Then who the fuck is Mino!?" he asked me again.

he bit his lip, clearly trying to stop the tears. There was so much pain in his eyes, pain that I had obviously caused. I wanted to run to him and hug him, but I had a feeling he was just going to push me away. And maybe I deserved it.

"He was no one." I lied. I couldn't possibly tell him about Mino, then I would have to tell him about Lisa. "I just met her today..."

"Today Jennie? You even call his name on your sleep."

"I just, . .  its just coincidence.." I said quietly. "I just went to the tolet and saw him looking familiar. But I didn't mean to miss the ribbon cutting. That's the truth and you have to believe me." I know its the most lame excuse that doesn't fit the aliby. Im the worst.

He shook his head and rested his arm on the post. "I don't know Jennie" he calmed down and sigh looking dissapointed.

"What is on your mind right now?" I asked. Im nervous.

"I think you want to break up with me," he replied, his voice barely coming out of his mouth. "You do, don't you? Is that one of the many things going on in your mind? You don't have to cheat on me Jen, you can break up with me if you don't love me anymore."

"Kai, I don't want to break up with you," I sighed. "I just can't explain it. Even I'm confused."

"Well, I have a lot of things going on in my mind too, believe me," he scoffed, making his way to the crowded part.

I run and decided to follow him, but immediately stopped when a man in business suit tap him.

Now im more ashamed of myself. Kai is right, im cheating, but he's been mad at the wrong person.

After that fight, i stayed with Seulgi and Irene. I didn't told them what happed. I just pretend that nothing's wrong until the end of event.

My entire day at the exhibit went by like a blur. I barely spoke to anyone, nor did I even respond when they would talk to me. Seulgi and Irene kept asking me what was wrong, but I didn't feel like telling them. Not now at least.

"Jen." Taemin suddenly came. "I'll drive you home. Kai already left."

"What?!" anger fills me. I know we fought but it wasn't right to leave me here.

"He said he has an urgent matter." Taemin explain and i just nod although deep inside im burning in anger.

I know he told Taemin what happened but he doesn't have to lie for that damn urgent matter.

"Sorry Jen." he gave me an apologetic look. I just purse my lips before going outside the hall.

. . . .

We arrived at my apartment almost two in the morning. Im so mad at Jongin, how dare he leave me in that place. That's so shallow for him to do that.

After thanking Tae, i went inside the apartment ready to bombard Kai. I know he thought that im cheating on him but fuck, he's damn unreasonable of his doings.

"Kai!" I called as soon as i open the door. The house was dark and i didn't mind turning on the lights. I locked the door and went straight upstairs.

"Jongin!!" I screamed but no one is answering. I reached our room and there i saw no one. He's probably on the studio.

I throw my things on the bed and went there but to my surprise, he isn't there either.

I tried messaging him multiple times but he didn't even bother to open my message.

"What the actual f*ck!"

I went back to the room, my anger hasn't subside at all and i feel like crying.

After few more minutes, i decided to get change. Im so tired, so fucking tired and i need to lose up. I need to relieve myself.

I need Lisa.

I went to the closet but to my surprise, the opposite side of mine is empty.

Kai's clothes weren't here anymore.

My knees weaken when realization hits me, Kai left. Aside from the things on her studio, everything he owns inside our room is gone, he left.

Was my mistake that worst that he have to do this to me like i was some sort of a cheap girlfriend? He left me like he didn't care at all. Wasn't years enough for me to learn that I was that easy on him?

My heart shattered like i was being stabbed repeatedly, ny tears flows nonstop. I crumple on the floor tucking my face in my palm,

"am i this worthless to you Kai?"

. . . .

I look at the mirror just to see the perfect glowing face of mine, i haven't seen this for a while, not that im not looking myself at the mirror, its just always full of anxiety every time i do so, in reality atleast. It's only been two weeks in reality but here, i don't know.

My eyes weren't swollen from crying, my face don't look stressed at all, it's like in a different person when im dreaming.

I look around and realize it wasn't Lisa's apartment, when i open the door, i found it looks familiar, it was their house.

"Oh let's go?" Lisa suddenly popped out from the room on the left. I don't know where are we going but i smile on her and nod.

As we walk downstairs, i began to hear a loud squeal of a kid and a laugh of an old man. How this family can be so happy? There isn't any sign of sadness in here.

At the back of my mind, im wishing i had one too.

We use the door from the kitchen which directly leads to the garden, a very beautiful garden.

"Take off your sandals." Lisa ordered.

"What?"

"Its clean don't worry." she chuckle and bend on her knee to remove my footwear.

How can you be like this Lisa... Just a while ago, my heart feels heavy and now it feels like it could float because of you...

Im more beyond blessed to meet you, atleast when im asleep.

After removing mine, she remove her sneakers too.

"Do you ever think about how your life would have been like if you hadn't met me?" Lisa wondered out loud snapping me out, as we walked barefoot on the garden.

"Well, technically I haven't yet..." I teasingly responded.

She groaned and playfully pinched my cheeks. "Seriously speaking, Jennie."

"Okay, okay," I laughed. "I always think about it. I don't know if it's a good thing that I do, but I definitely don't like the feeling."

"If you hadn't met me, how would your life like be right now?" she asked.

"You really want to talk about this?"

"Yeah, I do."

I sighed and held on to her arm. "Well, if I hadn't met you, my life would still me the same old boring routine. Actually, it still is whenever I'm awake. Everything just changes when I go to sleep."

She didn't say anything. She just looked at the ground as we walked.

"Lisa?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you still think I'm crazy?" I asked.

She chuckled softly and stopped walking, before turning to face me. "We are all a little crazy, aren't we? You're the kind of crazy that I would mind having everyday for the rest of my life. The kind of crazy that would make me happy instead of drive me insane. You're my kind of crazy."

"Would you have liked me better if I were just a normal person?" I raised an eyebrow. "Like you know, without all these insane stories about reality and dreams."

"I don't know," she shrugged. "But this is the Jennie I fell for. I wouldn't change a thing, to be honest."

"So even if I stayed like this for the rest of my life, it's fine with you?"

"Jennie, I think you should be asking yourself that question," she pursed her lips. "Would it be okay with you? Because you're the one who's anxious and doesn't feel settled. If you asked me, I'm perfectly fine with my life right now."

"I don't know. It might not be fine with me," I admitted. "You're right. No matter how happy I am, I'm still unsettled. I just really want answers."

"Do you, really?" she questioned. "Sometimes the truth blows. Not that I'd rather live a lie, but what if the answer is something you wouldn't like?"

"That's a bit creepy to think about," I mumbled, as she led me to the wooden bench in the middle of the garden.

"It's not really creepy," she said. "But sometimes it's okay not to know the answer to everything. Not all at once, at least. I think it's more liberating to live life day by day, not knowing what to expect. You just enjoy your life as every single day passes by, not worrying about the next. Discover answers as you live your life, and not try to predict your whole future."

"Wise words again from Lisa Manoban," I remarked.

"It's what I believe in," she smiled. "And I want you to believe it too so you'd stop being such a worrywart."

I sat on the bench beside her and allowed her to pull my legs up to her lap. "Okay, now it's my turn to ask. Do you ever think what your life would have been if you hadn't met me?"

"Everyday," she replied.

"Like how?"

"Have I ever told you that I was already set on being alone for the rest of my life?" she asked me in a melodramatic tone.

"You?" I chuckled. "How is that even possible? I bet before I came, girls would throw themselves at you. Maybe even until now."

"Not really," she shrugged, playing with a newly grown iris flower she found on the grass. "I mean, I've had a couple of flings. Nothing serious though. Nothing that made me feel the way I do with you."

"That's what all womanizer say," I rolled my eyes.

"It's true!" she insisted. "I'm not shitting with you. You're right about me being settled, because I really was. I was happy with my life, living in my small world, doing whatever I wanted without having to please anyone else. But then you came, and for the first time in a long time, I wanted to share my experiences and adventures with someone. All of a sudden I realized that I didn't want to be alone. It's funny how I knew that the moment I saw you."

I just sat there, with my mouth slightly parted open, not knowing what to say.

"So Jennie, to answer your question," she said. "I still would have been happy and content without you. But now that I have you, I'm even happier. I'm ecstatic. And I don't want to know how it feels like back when I hadn't met you yet. I'm all good. This is my new world now, and I want to share it with you."

After taking in everything she told me, I let out a big sigh. I was practically holding my breath in the whole time she was speaking. This woman never failed to leave me breathless, literally.

"Thank you," I managed to say, when I finally came back down to earth from cloud nine.

"Thank you?" she repeated with a goofy grin.

"Thank you for making me part of your world," I smiled. "Because I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

I was expecting her to say something really cheesy or stupid, but instead she just pulled me in closer, cradling my back with her left arm while her other arm was draped around my legs.

And then she leaned closer and softly kissed my lips.

And then I think I heard firecrackers. 

But then that was just probably the sound of my heart beating really fast.