Chapter 15

Jennie's POV

I never thought the day would ever come that I would

want to see a therapist, and now here I am, waiting for Dr. Yun to arrive. Last night dream terrifies me, i don't know what happened next, i just woke up with my puffy eyes hurt from the sunrays.

I don't know now what's left between me and Kai. More that anything dreaming about Lisa at the same time was enough to fuck me over really bad. I was starting to believe that I was crazy, but then they say if you think you're crazy then you're probably not. I don't even know anymore.

"Ms. Kim?" I saw her assistant walking up to me. "Ms. Jennie Kim?"

"Yes?" I looked up at the woman smiling at me.

"Dr. Yun is ready to see you," she said, opening the door for me.

I got up from my seat and gave her a small nod. "Thank you."

When I closed the door behind me, I saw Dr. Yun sitting on a couch with an eager smile and a notebook on her hand. "Good afternoon, Ms. Kim. Please have a seat."

"Thanks," I timidly smiled at her, before sitting on the couch across.

I spent the first few minutes telling her about my job, myself, and even Kai that we fought but i didn't tell her about the reason. She was very friendly so I definitely felt like I could tell her anything. It wasn't long until she decided to get to the main problem already.

"You came here to talk to me about some dreams you've been having, right?"

I nodded eagerly. "Yes. You're a dreamworker, right?"

I noticed her cheeks turn red as she shook her head. "That's what they like to call it. I'm a dream therapist. So can you tell me about these dreams?"

I swallowed nervously, not even knowing where to begin. "Uh, okay. It started about a month ago. I keep dreaming about this girl, like literally every night."

"Does this girl have a name?"

"Yes. Her name is Lisa."

"Okay, go on."

"What makes it crazy is that the consecutive dreams I have about her are continuous. It's like I actually have a relationship with someone who only exists in my dreams," I explained.

"Do you know that you're dreaming whenever you dream of her?"

"At first I didn't, but it didn't take long before I got used to it. Now it's already easy for me to tell when I'm dreaming or not."

She paused for a while, before jotting a few things on her notebook. "This relationship you have with her, is it friendly or – "

"She's like my girlfriend," I blurted out. "I know. I'm horrible. It's like I've cheated on Kai but is that even considered cheating? I mean, as much as I don't want to accept it, Lisa doesn't exist."

Dr. Yun chuckled slightly, pulling her glasses up to her head. "Jennie, from another person's perspective, you aren't cheating on anyone. But you need to ask yourself if you genuinely love this person. You will know deep within if you are cheating on your boyfriend emotionally."

"Then I am a cheater," I muttered, burying my face in my hands. "I just don't know why this is happening. When I first dreamt of her, I didn't think I'd ever dream of her again, let alone continue having dreams about her every night and eventually falling in-love. Am I crazy?"

"What you're going through is an extreme case of lucid dreaming," she explained. "Though it's not very common, I wouldn't say you're insane. I've had patients who mentally react to their dreams worse than you do. You're still sane, if that's what you're worried about. You don't understand what's happening to you, and that's normal."

"Well, that's good to know...?" I shrugged. "But what do I do about it?"

Dr. Yun raised her eyebrow at me. "The question is, do you want to do something about it? Do you want to get rid of these dreams if you think it's a threat to your actual relationship with your real life boyfriend?" Real boyfriend sounds a deal, but that doesn't the thing anymore.

"As horrible as this would make me sound," I sighed. "I don't want to stop dreaming about her. I don't even know if I actually want to meet her in real life, because it would just make things even more complicated. Dr. Yun, I really have no idea what I want. I want to keep Lisa but it's scarier because I fall in-love with her more and more each day. Like what if one day all these dreams just come to an end? I wouldn't know how to deal with it."

"What kind of dreams are these?" Dr. Yun asked. "Describe them to me."

I told her about every single dream I've had about Lisa, from the first day we met to our unforgettable Dance at the seaside. I also told her about Mino, who I first met in the dream and then eventually met in real life.

"So you think that because you ended up actually meeting Mino, means that there's a chance that you will meet Lisa too?" Dr. Yun questioned.

I nodded. "Yes. I mean, there's got to be a big chance, right? Who knows, we might all just be dreaming of each other. For what reason? I have no idea. I would love to know."

"This is a rare case," Dr. Yun furrowed her eyebrows. "You see, Jennie, normally, when a person appears in our dreams consistently, it's usually someone we know. Sometimes it doesn't have a meaning, and there are times when it does. Did you ever think that Lisa was brought to your life through a dream for a reason?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like for example, since you're not sure if she actually exists, maybe you met her simply for a reason," Dr. Yun elaborated. "When you meet someone in your dreams, that person doesn't have to exist in real life for everything to make sense. Maybe she's trying to tell you a message, and you need to listen clearly."

I shook my head, and stammered as I tried to form a sentence. "N-no. That can't be. So are you saying she's just there to tell me some sort of message and that she will eventually disappear? Because that's not fair!"

"Jennie, I am not saying she will disappear soon," she sighed. "But do you seriously think that you will keep dreaming of her until you are old with a bunch of grand children? This is just a phase. You can't get caught up in the idea that you will have her forever. Don't get used to what's happening because it might just make things worse in the end. Try to understand what the dream is telling you."

"It's not fair..." I repeated, biting my lips while trying to fight back the tears. "She can't just appear in my dreams, make me fall in-love with her, and then go away after that."

"Don't think of the ending yet," Dr. Yun advised. "The best thing to do for now is to do what I told you to. It's the best way to deal with the situation for now. Take note of everything that's happening. If you think you've figured out yourself what the message is, come see me again."

I sighed, wiping a little tear below my eye. "Dr. Yun, do you know what the dream is trying to tell me?"

Dr. Yun nodded and smiled. "I think it's very clear."

"Can you tell me?"

Dr. Yun paused. She was looking through her notes while adding a couple more at the bottom of the page.

After writing, she looked back at me. "Jennie, whatever I speculate may be different from yours, because I do not feel what you feel nor do I see what you see. This is just an opinion based on studies and previous patients."

"It's okay. I want you to tell me."

"Alright then," she gave me a nod. "I think what this dream is telling you is simple. You told me about your life with your boyfriend, and how it doesn't really give you the thrill that you experience when you're with Lisa. You told me about your life, your daily routine – and that's exactly the problem that I see. You've been keeping yourself in a box for years, when you were born to do greater things. I think what Lisa is telling you is to live your life to the fullest. Memories are more precious than material things or just simply the idea of being settled. Don't go for what's 'ideal'. It's never what your heart truly longs for."

"That makes so much sense," I mumbled, looking down on my shoes.

Dr. Yun leaned forward and placed her glasses on the table. "Just continue with your normal day to day routine, and see how things in your dreams and in your reality start to change. Set another appointment with me if you feel that what I told you is right."

"Okay," I nodded. "Thank you so much, Dr. Yun."

When I was about to head towards the door, I heard her call my name one more time. "Jennie?"

"Yes?" I turned around.

"What do you truly wish for?" she asked nonchalantly.

I stopped and thought for a moment. I wish Lisa were real. I don't care about the fact that it could possibly complicate things in my life, but I knew deep inside that's what I really wanted. Maybe life will fix itself after that. All I knew was that I wanted her to be real because I felt like if all of this finally came to and end, that's when I will actually go insane.

I smiled and shook my head. "I don't really know."

Later that night, just like yesterday, i didn't bother to prepare dinner. All i could do is think of what Dr. Yun said. If she's serious and telling what was really going to happen in the near future, i don't know how am i going to accept it.

Its exactly nine when i decided to went upstairs and get ready for sleep. I can't wait to see Lisa, after last night, all i could pray is that nothing bad happened.

I tuck under the sheet and stare at the ceiling when i heard a buzzing sound from the night stand.

I took my phone and As soon as i turn on the screen, the lockscreen of picture of me and Kai popped out.

This bastard.

Before reading the message, i went to my gallery and change the wallpaper and lockscreen of some other picture except with Kai. How I wish i could have Lisa's picture in here.

Seulgi: Hey Jen. What's up? I heard what happened to you and Kai. Are you breaking up?

I forgot to inform that i won't be going to work today and this Seulgi brutal question makes me forget how stupid that breaking up sounds.

Me: I don't know. It's like i won't be letting him fool me.

Seulgi: So he really did cheat? he's insane.

Me: He really is. He came up last night to fuck me after fucking some other girls.

Irene: Shhh.... don't cuss baby.

oh right i forgot it was a group message and we have Mama Irene.

Seulgi: I'll kill Jongin!

Irene: I'll go with you.

Seulgi: I'll bring the butterfly knife while you hit her with your black belt skills Arrasseo?

Irene: I'll strangle him to death!

Seulgi: Go babe!! We won't let anyone hurt our Jennie!

Irene: Yeah babe. But give me a kiss first.... 😗

Seulgi: Bunch of kisses 😙😙😙

Irene: More pleasee 😘😘

I dont know why it ended up of the two flirting. I just enjoyed reading their sweet messages until i felt sleepiness wraps me. I yawn one last time and didn't notice that i dozed already.

. .

I opened my eyes and found myself in a massive bowl filled with... gummy bears? I blinked three times only to realize that I was already dreaming. Where the hell was I?

I pushed myself off the gigantic glass bowl and managed to get off without tripping on anything.

"Where on earth am I?" I asked out loud. The sound of my voice echoed across the room which ended up being a gigantic, enclosed field of strawberry trees, a chocolate river, and humongous candy-canes.

Am I in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory or Katy Perry's California Girls music video? Or both? WHAT THE HELL!

"Hello?" I called out one more time.

"You actually made it!" I heard Lisa exclaim. When I turned around, I saw her standing behind me while holding something on her hand.

"Oh my god!" I let out a sigh of relief as I run towards her, wrapping my arms around her neck. For a second I thought I started dreaming of something else already.

She gave me a soft smile and i felt like bursting into tears. Im not sure what happened after the incident in the hot air balloon and sure its hell of a nightmare.

"Jennie." She pushed me a little just enough for our eyes to meet. "Hey listen."

I felt like she has something to say, although i want to ask badly about the incident, i let her speak first.

"Jennie im so sorry." she suddenly blurted.

"Sorry? For what?"

"You know how much i love you right?" she asked like she's been having hard time speaking.

I cup her face before gently rubbing her cheeks. "I know. I know. What's wrong? Why are you like this?"

Her eyes were half close while her hand reaches for mine.

"I love you Jennie." She smiles and i felt she handed a metal on my hand. I look down on it and saw a bracelet. "You'll see me again."

"Lisa..." I shift back again to her face and to my surprise, her eyes were closed and her face was covered in blood.

"Oh my god!" I cried held her head on my arms. "Lisa!!" I felt a moist underneath and found out that the back of her head was bleeding too.

"Oh god Lisa what happened?! Please wake up Lisa! Don't do this to me..."