Vulnerability

Darrien 

He is looking at me. 

He is assuring me that things are fine but I know him. Just the same way that he knows me, I know that there is something about what I have said so far that he doesn't like. He doesn't like that she exists. I don't even like that she exists but what can I do. I can't completely erase my past just to be the best for him. 

It exists and I need him to see it all. 

I need him to know it all. 

"Okay.'' he manages. He is still holding my hand but now it feels like he is squeezing me tightly from all that he feels. I don't mind if he gets upset. That just means that he cares. I know that he cares. I know how much he loves me, so he doesn't need to hide how he feels to make me feel better.