Sugar Mommies
In a distant land, three men sat in an ordinary-looking temple room, forming a triangle.
"Agiri succeeded. The damn brat traded his life for that thing. But so what? He's dead. And the 33 Heavens don't have a single man able to shoulder the Mandate. Brothers, what should we do?" asked the first man whose figure hid behind a mystical mist, as if shrouded by the Dao itself.
The succeeding God Emperors' ability to promulgate Divine Laws stemmed from their ownership of the Imperial Seal and Mandate of Heaven. Divine Laws weren't mere words, but sovereign commands that none below the Empyrean Monarch Realm could resist. For instance, by passing his Anti-Death Law, Agiri used his Mandate, or Heaven's Will as some called it, to engrave an irresistible order in all celestials' minds—preventing them from unlawful killing and suicide.
As for Empyrean Monarchs, while they could flat out ignore the Divine Laws, challenging them triggered Defiance Tribulations—something most would rather avoid.
So far, only members of the Empyrean race seemed able to claim the Seal and the Mandate it contained. However, not everyone could obtain the Seal's approval.
The two others in the temple room, a bald old man dressed in a saffron robe with a myriad of golden Sanskrit letters spiraling around him—and a child wearing Taoist robes, akin to a masterfully carved doll, alive when he breathed in and dead when he breathed out—bore conflicting expressions.
"That there is none right now doesn't mean one won't emerge in the future," said the monk.
"How long is the future? The world can't afford to wait," the child countered.
At that time, a white-haired man walked through the temple door, the three experts' eyes locked on him, and immediately, they rose to their feet.
"For the brat's sake, I will take care of the rest for you," the newcomer said, and without a word, the three bowed toward him.
...
One of the Ancient Marvels of the Heavenly Realm, the Peach Forest stood in an isolated domain of the Divine Palace's inner court. Directly under the God Empress' supervision, the Peach Forest rarely saw any visitor, and was guarded by four Door Gods of the God Empress.
Formed in the Celestial Knight Realm, Door Gods forever scaled with their master's cultivation, and mirrored their Celestial Nature. As a member of the Empyrean race, the God Empress' Door Gods all had human shapes, dreadful valkyries clad in radiant-white armors. Each possessed the strength of a peak-level Heavenly God. The 33 Heavens didn't have fifteen people able to break through such defenses.
Without a word, they allowed the pages in but kept their Divine Senses locked on them. Ensuring that if any attempted to pocket a peach, they'd die on the spot.
A forest of sangria trees, whose burned-red leaves rhythmically dropped as if mirroring autumn's fall, appeared before the 60,000 pages. The tree branches swayed alongside the dropping leaves, waving their ripe, sangria peaches at the onlookers' faces.
As large as human heads, the peaches glowed in a transcendent blue light. The maids stood outside, waiting for the pages to pick three peaches each. When their eyes landed on the fruits, despite all their training and the Door Gods outside, greed welled up in the peach pages' minds.
Just one bite.
They just wanted one bite. One bite to experience the peaches' extraordinariness and engrave the taste in their minds. Though past the Nihility Realm, cultivators no longer felt hunger, those Celestial Kins rediscovered that mortal plight. Strangely, unlike the others, Harun didn't lose himself. Appreciative of the peaches' yet still in full control of his mind. But for those that knew of his cultivation path, this wasn't surprising.
"At the third level of the Daoist Realm, I chose the Dao of Gluttony and used it to forge my Dao Heart. But at the ninth level, I rejected my Dao Truth to achieve Nihility. Since then, no one or thing can use it against me. What a pity that you guys didn't follow this righteous path," Harun whispered in a fellow page's ears, then sashayed past his peers to pluck three peaches.
"Be patient my dears. Although today I can't taste you, in the near future I swear to break into you front and back, then bite, bite and bite, until your dripping juices fully stain my lips," Harun told his peaches before the incredulous pages' eyes, and as they struggled to resist their urges, Harun gave his peaches three smooches, then rushed out of the Peach Forest—returning to the 30,000 fairies' side.
"There is no justice in this world. I have been cultivating the Dao of Self Hegemony for over 600 years, yet still tremble before these peaches' scent. But such a monstrous deviant can go in and out as if it was his family's backyard? Who designed this shit?" A former mortal emperor grieved.
…
Faced with Harun's bright smiling face and joyful hymns, the fairies wondered if the Peach Forest's structure didn't experience some changes.
The rash rushed in and fell into the same struggle as the peach pages. On average, it took the pages three hours to extricate themselves and harvest the peaches. A few less fortunate couldn't resist and bared their teeth at the peaches. Before they could graze them, they burst into blood and gore.
Upon leaving the Peach Forest, the successful peach pages saw Harun sitting crossed-legged with dozens of fairies forming circles around him.
"I remember that my eldest brother almost lost his life in the past peach selection. Little brother, your foundation is incredible."
"Right, my father's cultivation is at the eighth-level of the Celestial Knight Realm, but he still dreads the peaches."
"Fairy sisters, this is nothing. Although with an unbreakable Dao Heart, you can see through 10,000 illusions, impermeable to corruption. If I didn't have your charming faces in mind, how could I succeed?" Harun replied to his growing fan-club, and the blushing fairies felt that the words made perfect sense. With beauties such as them waiting at the door, why could those pages not rush back?
Even the girl he "wronged" beforehand was starting to feel that she'd become too narrow minded. Such an adorable little-brother could, of course, not have those perverse thoughts.
"Young, charming and reliable. In the future, you will have splendid achievements."
"My grandfather is an official of the third rank. If you want, I can ask him to speed up your promotion."
"Little brother don't listen to her! That vixen hides countless boytoys in her house. My grandfather is a governor. Come with me once I leave the palace, and he can make you a commandery lord."
"Bitch! You're slandering me!"
Seeing a catfight break out for Harun's sake, the peach pages turned green from envy. Fortunately, the one Harun whispered the truth to perished, or the scam would be exposed.
And while he appeared cool and undisturbed, inwardly, Harun couldn't restrain his joy.
"Sugar mommies left, sugar mommies right.
Sugar mommies front, sugar mommies back.
With sugar mommies on the loose,
How can bills not scram?"
Imagining all the free pills, wines and feasts he'd swindle from those gals, Harun found the petty poet in his soul, and raised his fist at the sky.
…
Separated by fellow fairies, the catfighters regained their composure, and the procession resumed.
This time, gravity shone in all pages, fairies and spirit servants' eyes. For the next stop was the last: the Peach Banquet. Tens of thousands of celestials were flying toward the Divine Palace, with spirit servants welcoming them at the palace gate, and leading them across the halls to sit at the Peach Banquet.
On this occasion, rank didn't matter. Third-rank officials could sit and drink with first-rank officials, the God Empress' way of telling them all that regardless of their precise rank, the group formed the 33 Heaven's backbones.
The imperial family was the only exception, with the Divine Consorts sitting beside the God Empress. The princes and princesses sat a step below. A slender woman with lustrous-white hair, almond-shaped, icy-blue eyes, and inviting crimson lips, in this gathering of Heaven's top officials and beauties, the God Empress stood out like a peacock in a flock of common birds.
But as she exchanged flatteries with the consorts, her Divine Sense swept the celestials, observing them all with scrutiny.