Chapter 14: The Will To Die

7:50 P.M.

Hiro lay on the ground in a pool of his own blood, holding his arm close to him. The black-haired attacker was standing there smiling, his eyes gleaming with the joy of opportunity.

[Black-Haired Attacker: Ah! It's been so long since I was able to do something like this.]

The murderer took his hands out of his pockets.

[Black-Haired Attacker: But first on my priorities… I have to prove my theory~]

The black-haired attacker bent down dramatically to look closer at Hiro, quivering on the floor. He laughed again.

[Black-Haired Attacker: Damn, you have a lot of it, don't you? But you can't always be too sure-- there are people like me out there.]

The black-haired attacker put his face close to Hiro's and whispered.

[Black-Haired Attacker: Are you ready?]

The black-haired attacker spun around a few times, laughing.

bang!

While spinning, the murderer shot Hiro right in the thigh.

[Black-Haired Attacker: Oh how interesting!]

Right after, he laughed to himself and took gallantly large steps away from Hiro, towards the front of the living room.

Hiro's vision was all blurry; he couldn't feel anything but pain. He couldn't think of anything but pain. It was almost like a surreal feeling, like he was floating through a cloud of needles, each needle laced with alcohol to make it even worse.

Hiro focused on staying still, hoping that that would somehow stop his travel through the cloud.

His hand was gone. His hand was gone. His hand was gone.

[Black-Haired Attacker: Hey, look what I have for you!]

Hiro tried his hardest to see. But that was a mistake.

The black-haired attacker was holding Hiro's father up by the arms, with a dagger right through his chest. Blood was dripping down his clothes.

The murderer was grinning, like he was presenting something he was proud of for show-and-tell.

That's right. Obviously if the murderer was alive, that meant his father was defeated.

It's all over… If both his mother and his father were dead, then he had failed.

Even though Hiro was in deeper pain from seeing what had become of his father, Hiro couldn't express his emotion, as the pain from his arm was way too much to handle.

He wanted to die. He wanted to pass out.

The murderer looked down at Hiro with disappointment. His proud smile turned into a slight frown.

[Black-Haired Attacker: Hey. Hey. Can you hear me? Can you see me? I have your father you know.]

Hiro couldn't care less about the murderer. His parents were dead. He wanted to die.

However, suddenly, Hiro heard a voice. It was his father's.

[Kota: Hiro…?]

Hiro's heart jumped. The pain in his arm hurt less somehow, as more adrenaline pumped through him. Hiro snapped his head forward to look towards the voice.

Hiro's father, still being held by the murderer, lifted his head. He gave Hiro a smile.

[Hiro: Dad..?]

The smile sent ripples through Hiro's body. His father was still alive. More tears came from his eyes.

However, this was what the murderer wanted. The murderer smiled as well.

With an evil glint in his eyes, the murderer let go of his grip on Kota, and to Hiro, his father seemed to fall in slow motion.

Kota collapsed right next to Hiro, with his face only inches apart from his. Hiro could see the life fading from his eyes.

His father gave him a weak but kind smile.

Using all of his strength, Kota brought his hand to Hiro's face. He gently caressed Hiro's cheek with the back of his fingers.

[Kota: Hiro, no matter what happens, know that I love you.]

Tears fell from Hiro's eyes. He wanted to tell his father so much before he died.

Especially these past couple years, Hiro made himself so distant from his parents, and he regretted it. He wanted to tell his dad– no, not just his dad, his mom too, how thankful he was for them.

His parents were always with him, no matter what. He couldn't have asked for better parents. He really loved them. He didn't want them to die. He really didn't want them to die.

[Hiro: D-dad… I-- I--]

bang!

Blood and brains splattered all over Hiro's face. Hiro looked at his father's face in horror; his head had a gaping hole. His eyes were gone– the eye sockets were filled with mush and nothingness and his face was disfigured; blood everywhere.

Hiro didn't get to say anything. His father was gone, just like that. Hiro had never felt such horror before. It wasn't like the other times. For his father to die like that, saying that he loved Hiro– it hurt Hiro's heart too much.

Hiro couldn't think. He was incapable. He didn't feel the physical pain anymore, or much of anything. Hiro stared blankly at his father. This had broken him.

Hiro could hear something. Someone was laughing.

[Black-Haired Attacker: HAHAHAHAHA--!]

The murderer was laughing maniacally, like this was the funniest thing in the world. He was holding his stomach, and wiping tears from his eyes.

There was nothing funny about this.

[Black-Haired Attacker: HAHAHA--! Now that's just HILARIOUS! SPECTACULAR! FASCINATING--!]

The murderer kicked Hiro over so that he was laying upwards. The murderer stomped on Hiro's chest, wiggling his foot around.

It was hard to breathe.

[Black-Haired Attacker: What a big fucking coincidence this is.]

With his heel still on Hiro's chest, the murderer bent down dramatically, putting his face next to Hiro's.

Hiro didn't show any expression. He lay there, and didn't even focus his eyes on the murderer. He let his eyes drift off, going to the ceiling– oh, now it was on the walls.

The murderer pouted.

[Black-Haired Attacker: Hey, I know your family's dead and all, but it's still rude to ignore someone.]

Hiro didn't respond.

[Black-Haired Attacker: Aw man, did he break..? That'd be a pain to explain to the Wraith... Ha, who am I kidding? It'd be a miracle if I could explain even the murders to him! Well, I guess there's no turning back now.]

The murderer put his hand on his head in distress. He turned around and feigned walking away, but then suddenly turned around and kicked Hiro right in the side of the head with full force.

Hiro got launched back, his body ragdolling until hitting the kitchen wall. Hiro didn't move. He lay there, face down on the wooden floor. Hiro felt so much pain that it dulled everything that was happening. He just wanted to die. He couldn't take any more of this.

Hiro felt his head being lifted by the hair, and the murderer looked at him straight in the face.

[Black-Haired Attacker: After years of experience, I can tell, you know. You can stop faking. You may have lost your will to live, but those cogs in your mind are still running.]

The murderer softly tapped Hiro's forehead with his fingers.

[Black-Haired Attacker: C'mon, entertain me more! Show me your Sin! If you keep acting like that, you'll be no fun. Same if you die. You'll be no fun that way either, so cheer up a little. Struggle a bit.]

Hiro didn't change his expression at all. Hiro stared right through the murderer, seemingly not paying attention to him at all. However, this all changed when Hiro heard small footsteps walking down the stairs.

Hiro knew who it was, he just didn't want to believe it was her.

[Yumi: Hiro?]

Why did she have to come down the stairs? She was going to die. Yumi was going to die.

{Hiro: No no no no no no no no no--}

The murderer turned his head to look at Yumi, then smiled. The murderer slammed Hiro's face against the floor, then got up and started walking towards Yumi.

Hiro's willpower skyrocketed once more as he realized he had to make a stand to let Yumi survive. What big brother would allow their little sister to die?

[Hiro: Wait--!]

Hiro launched his body forward, grabbing the murderer's jacket with his good arm.

The murderer turned his head slowly, his eyes meeting Hiro with a crazed smile. He raised his right arm, pointing a gun straight at Yumi.

[Hiro: Please, please don't kill her… please--]

Hiro saw his index finger begin to press the trigger in slow motion, and with all his strength he pulled the murderer down by his coat.

bang bang!

The murderer stumbled back, losing his balance. Hiro's grasp slipped from his coat, and he collapsed back onto the ground.

Did he save Yumi?

Hiro looked towards the stairwell, and to his horror, Yumi was sprawled across the stairs, with a bullet hole in her neck.

Hiro began to whimper, in apprehension of what he saw before him. His elementary school sister, coughing, blood spurting from her mouth and wounds; her blood all across the wooden stairs.

In seconds, the life left her eyes, and her body became limp.

The murderer put his hand on his head in dismay.

[Black-Haired Attacker: Aww man I missed!.. You messed up my shot!]

Everything was a blur. Hiro's mind was cloudy. Yumi died, right in front of him.

[Black-Haired Attacker: What am I supposed to do now, HUH?! How am I supposed to explain this to the Wraith?!]

The murderer grabbed Hiro roughly by the hair, and lifted him up so that he was standing. The murderer whispered in Hiro's ear, in contrast to his yell earlier.

[Black-Haired Attacker: I wasn't trying to kill her you know…]

At the lack of Hiro's reaction, or rather at the continuous whimpering, he sighed.

[Black-Haired Attacker: Well, this is going to be very difficult for me later…]

The black-haired attacker set Hiro down gently against the kitchen wall, so that he was sitting up. The murderer knelt down, so that he was eye level with Hiro.

[Black-Haired Attacker: Of course that's what I get when I just try to have a little fun~]

The murderer's slightly distraught face partially hidden behind his hand turned back into a small grin, then into laughter. The murderer looked like he was having a fun chat with a friend, but Hiro was shaking in fear and dread.

[Black-Haired Attacker: At least I was right. You know exactly what's happening, don't you? You're still sane. I was doubting myself a little bit.]

The murderer laughed.

[Black-Haired Attacker: Thanks, it was nice playing with you. I would've preferred a bit more, but you can't always get what you want, you know? Now that everyone's gone, I guess I can't do much more to you, can I?]

The murderer tapped Hiro's forehead playfully, then looked at him wistfully. It looked like he had a genuine look of sadness.

[Black-Haired Attacker: Ishiyaka was right, you're a good kid. You don't deserve this. For your sake, I won't save you. There'd only be suffering ahead of you. So go die in peace.]

The murderer took his gun out of his holster, and began aiming it at Hiro's head.

However, all of a sudden the sound of a car speeding rattled the house, then a car's headlights shone through the windows of Hiro's home.

The murderer turned around, and stood up. He sighed, then looked back at Hiro with a kind grin, like they were good friends.

[Black-Haired Attacker: Nevermind. Sorry, 'bout all that, I really am, but I gotta go. See you!]

The murderer flung his coat around with his arm, and darkness erupted from his body. He walked outside, and shortly after, a blinding light burst through the door and each of the windows.

Hiro heard two voices conversing and shouting at each other, but Hiro couldn't make anything of it. He couldn't think, nor care about anything but what had just taken place.

Everyone was dead.

Right after, he heard gunshots and yelling, and flashes of light flickered through the windows over and over again.

In the back of his mind, Hiro knew it was Kobu, but Hiro was too broken to grieve more. Kobu was going to die.

Hiro couldn't do anything, and that was the universal truth.

Minutes went by, and Hiro found himself just laying there, just waiting for everything to end.

Eventually, the fighting outside stopped. The flashes of light no longer peeked through the windows, nor the sound of gunshots. Silence overtook the house; the only thing breaking it was Hiro's snivels and the tears pouring down his face.

A few minutes later, Hiro heard footsteps. They were light, and uneven.

Hiro lifted his head to see who it was, and it was the murderer. The monster.

He succeeded in killing Kobu, and like the lives before, he showed no signs of battle. His clothes weren't tattered, and no part of him was bruised or bleeding.

He really did take Kobu down with no trouble at all. If he could kill Hiro's father and Hiro's brother with no struggle, there was no doubt Hiro couldn't defeat him. It was all a lost cause.

The murderer walked in through the front door with a serious face, not his crazed, smiling one.

He walked all the way down the living room to go up the stairs, but then noticed Hiro on the ground. Hiro was staring at him, eyes wide open.

[Black-Haired Attacker: Oh, you're still alive? That's surprising.]

He chuckled a little.

[Black-Haired Attacker: Good job! I must commend you... Actually, you know what?]

The murderer put the gun he was holding back into its holster.

[Black-Haired Attacker: I won't kill you! Go live your life, graduate high school, get a job, find a nice girl, grow old, then die. You've earned it!.. I'll make sure The Crescent targets you last.]

Hiro felt something boiling within him. Hiro looked at the murderer with such hatred that he felt like his eyes were going to pop right out of his head. This was an insult.

The murderer crouched down to Hiro's level and laughed.

[Black-Haired Attacker: Haha! Don't be angry, be happy! I'm giving you a second chance at life. That's something I've never given anyone before– you're the first!]

Hiro wanted to rip his throat.

[Black-Haired Attacker: In all seriousness, thanks. It's been fun, but I have to go now. Sorry about your siblings and your parents and stuff, haha. I wish you a long life and happy days!.. See you sometime, Hiro.]

The black-haired attacker stood up and turned around.

Hiro pushed himself off of the kitchen wall with all of his might, unable to use one of his arms and one of his legs, and grabbed on to the murderer's coat.

The murderer turned his head around to look at Hiro.

[Hiro: Wait… Who- who are you?.. Why are you doing this?]

[Black-Haired Attacker: Oh, me?]

The murderer smiled. After clearing his throat, in a grandiose voice, he exclaimed--

[Black-Haired Attacker: I am Razan! Razan Kodama!]

He giggled a little bit.

[Razan: Haha, sorry, that was a bit much wasn't it? And for why I'm doing this…]

Razan crouched back down to Hiro's level.

[Razan: Well, that's a secret.]

Razan winked at Hiro and stuck out his tongue.

Razan stood back up, and knocked away Hiro's hand from his coat.

He began to walk away again, towards the front door of the house.

The murderer couldn't leave now. Hiro still had to kill him. Hiro had to punch his face repeatedly and rip his esophagus right out of his neck.

[Hiro: Wait!]

The murderer didn't look back or slow his pace.

[Hiro: Wait!]

Hiro began crawling as fast as he could, using only one of his arms to drag himself across the floor. His voice shook as he yelled, damaged from crying and screaming.

At the front door, stepping out onto the porch, Razan turned around. The moon was shining brightly behind him. With what looked like a kind smile, he waved goodbye.

[Razan: See ya.]

[Hiro: No! Wait! Please!]

Razan dissolved into a puff of dark smoke, and when the darkness cleared, he was gone.

Hiro continued to drag himself across the ground, the blood from his wounds trailing on the floor.

Hiro didn't want to believe that the murderer that killed his family was gone. He had to avenge them. The murderer had the nerve to kill all of them, then toy with Hiro, then leave him alive?! It was all too cruel.

Hiro wanted to die. If he lived now, his sole purpose would be to get revenge, and Hiro himself didn't want that, even though he knew that's what he would do.

Hiro had to find the murderer, and kill him. Hiro dragged himself through the front door of his home, and down the porch stairs. His body met the soft grass and dirt. Hiro kept his head on the ground, for he didn't have enough strength to keep his neck up.

Minutes went by, maybe even hours.

Hiro crawled and crawled and crawled, until his hand met pavement. His arm was burning so badly.

Hiro felt the gravel with his fingers, and he concluded that he must have reached the street.

Hiro stopped crawling, and lifted his head. He was right next to Kobu and his mailbox. Kobu's body was riddled with dozens of bullet holes.

Oh, that's right. Kobu was dead.

Tears burst from his eyes, but couldn't grieve any more than he already was. Hiro didn't have enough tears to shed.

Hiro pulled his body closer to Kobu. His whole body was throbbing, and his consciousness was ready to slip at any moment.

Just a little bit more.

Hiro stretched his good arm as far as it could go, and grasped Kobu's hand.

It was cold.

Hiro held his big brother's hand, hoping that that would bring all of his sorrows away.

The weariness and pain sunk in, and Hiro passed out.

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Hiro woke up.

It felt cold. His head was pounding.

Hiro slowly opened his eyes.

He lay on his stomach; grass and dirt pressed up against his face.

The sky was orange and purple; the hue of dawn.

There was morning dew on each individual blade of grass, and Hiro could hear the birds chirping.

His hand was clasped onto something cold, and everything in his body was hurting.

Another thing he could hear were footsteps. Very soft, gentle footsteps.

From the edge of Hiro's vision, he could see a man with white hair and pale skin walking out of his front door, covered in blood. The man looked like he was middle-aged, maybe in his thirties or his early forties.

The man was holding a little girl in his arms. The girl had a bullet hole through her head, and one in her abdomen.

The man silently wept as he trudged slowly through Hiro's yard. His teardrops glistened on his cheeks, his face in deep sadness.

He walked all the way to the street, right next to where Hiro was, and looked into the sunrise. He muttered to himself, his voice shaking with grief--

[White-Haired Man: It wasn't supposed to be this way… It wasn't supposed to be this way...]

Hiro tried to sit up, but fell right back down. The hand he tried using to prop himself up wasn't there.

The man noticed Hiro on the ground, both of them looking into each other's eyes.

Hiro didn't know who the man was, but he felt his pain. He looked up at the man, teardrops starting to pour down his face.

The man felt Hiro's pain, and they both were there crying, watching the sun rise through each other's eyes.

Watching their world burn.

The man bent down, and lay the little girl gently on the ground next to him.

He stood back up, and looked back at Hiro.

Hiro wasn't sure if he was looking at him in pity or empathy, or if it was a combination of both, but Hiro could certainly feel the grief seeping from every essence of his being.

The man looked as if he was about to break down, refusing to look away, even as his lips trembled and his shoulders heaved with emotion, unwilling to back down.

His lashes brimmed heavy with tears; his hands clenched into shaking fists, in a desperate battle against despair.

He wept, tears streaming from his deep blue eyes, loud, heaving sobs tearing from his throat, and still he did not look away.

Not until the sobs drove him to his knees did his determined gaze fall. The man mourned with his face in his hands, the whole universe crashing down.

[White-Haired Man: I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…]

Hiro watched him; tears falling down Hiro's blank face. It was almost comforting, seeing someone that looked so truly deep in pain. Someone that could possibly understand a smidgen of what Hiro felt before.

The man lifted his face from his hands, and looked at Hiro with a face filled with remorse.

He slowly moved his hand to Hiro's head, gently brushing through his hair.

[White-Haired Man: I'm sorry...]

The man put his hand over Hiro's eyes, and everything went black.

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Hiro woke up.

He raised his face from the wooden desk. He was back in his room.

7:32 P.M.

Immediately, he began sobbing-- tears ran from his unblinking eyes, dripping down his face.

He made it back.