Do You Know You're Black?

That following evening the tension between Amara and Claire came to an all-time head.

"Don't you think you're being childish?!" 

I was eating out in the mini courtyard with Izanagi when we heard Claire raising her voice. It was unusual from her bubbly self so I naturally found myself getting up to crack the door open. 

"What?" 

"You didn't leave any dinner for me!" 

I couldn't see Amara but she sounded like she was in the living room.

"Ohhhh, so now you want to eat from me? Claire can't you see the childish one is you? I mean, why the hell should I make food for you just for you to throw it away, when this isn't a fucking hotel? Money doesn't grow on fucking trees, I know you might because of you're rich Daddy, but we don't do that here. If you want to eat something make it yourself."

So she saw what she did this morning huh? I'm surprised she didn't say anything on the spot, she hated wasting food.

"I only threw it away because you kept being a bitch, like why would I want to eat that from you?" 

"If you don't want to eat from me then, why are you bitching?" 

Claire pursed her lips. 

"How long are you going to be like this? Huh?" 

"You don't get to ask me that after wasting the food I cooked, you spoiled bitch." 

"It's just food." 

"You could have gave it to the boys or put it away if you didn't want it." 

"Are you really mad about the food?" 

"Yes Claire! You're such a spoiled princess and I'm tired of you only ever thinking of yourself!" 

"Well you're an insufferable cold-ass bitch who makes it painful for anyone to be around you!" 

"If I am so fucking insufferable then why are you here? It may not be a lot, but at least I have friends!" 

Claire pursed her lips hearing that remark. I expected her to say something in defense, she's a bubbly person so it'd be bizarre if she didn't have any.

Amara continued to rant. "I am sick and tired of being treated like a fucking maid!" 

"Who treats you like a fucking maid?" 

I recalled the last incident from before, perhaps what I had seen that day was only the tip of the iceberg, although I wanted them to stop yelling, I also couldn't pretend like I hadn't seen something like this coming. 

"You, your Mom, almost everyone in our fucking family, and the worst thing is you don't even realize you're doing it."

"We're guests, we're supposed to be catered to!" 

"So you only admit you came here to be catered to?"

"That's not-"

"Did you even apologize to Izanagi?" 

"Ah-"

"No, right? When you eff up your mouth is always shut and I'm always the one ends up looking like boo boo the fool, apologizing on behalf of you, but what happened to your own mouth?"

"...S-so you're embarrassed of me now? Isn't this what you're mad about?" 

"Embarrassment has nothing to do with it! You could have either hurt Izanagi or the both of us with that! Do you think social media is for play, play? Don't underestimate the popularity of a celebrity and the jealousy of their fans! I'll be damned, if I or my Mother end up getting shanked or mobbed on the streets by some crazies just because of you and your stupidity!"

". . . . . .Aren't you exaggerating? Like, his fan base isn't that toxic is it?" 

Amara walked into our line of sight, she dismissed Claire with a wave.

"You. If you don't know anything, shut up."

"What don't I know?" 

"We're two black girls dancing with a highly coveted Japanese boy! You think Japanese fans are going to be happy about that? No! Only international ones!"

Claire scoffed at her, blinking a few times in disbelief. "Whatever, I see you're emotional so I'll just leave it alone."

"Keep living in a bubble, one day you'll only come to your senses when you get punched in the face by some jealous purist screaming at you to go back to Africa."

"But I'm not from-"

"They don't care! About your story or where you're from, you're just a threat to them trying to steal their Japanese prince!"

". . .Is this coming from someplace or what?" 

"You'd know better if you paid attention to how blacks are treated in Asia. We're accepted until we're not. If Grandpa were here he'd tell you, you don't know you're black."

"Of course I know I'm black!"

"But do you? I mean one would think you do. But you don't." 

"Speak in a way I can understand!"

"People hate black people!" She shouted. 

The emotion in her voice lodged itself inside my chest. No. No Amara. Really, where was this coming from?

"It doesn't matter where we go! Even black people hate black people!" 

Claire's lips parted. "Now, you really sound like Grandpa. So what, you want me to live in fear?"

"No, live with common sense. Pay attention to the histories of racism within each country!"

"There will always be racists!"

"Exactly! But do you know most Asians get disowned by their families just for marrying a black person, even if things work out, their parents can go without talking to them for years. I mean you should know that given your own family circumstances."

Claire's lips parted, she folded her arms and frowned as Amara continued.

"If your Daddy loved your Mother so much, why did he still marry that other woman?" 

Claire blinked. 

"For his inheritance, right?"

". . .Daddy didn't need that money to begin with, but he just didn't want the drama that surrounded it and married the person his family wanted..."

Amara studied Claire for a bit. "Hmm."

"I'm not lying!"

"I didn't say you were, even if it's the case it still proves my point, Asians, are purists, they don't want their genes mixing with blacks, we don't need a bunch of crazies misunderstanding that video and getting the wrong idea. No one needs an Asian KKK forming and coming after them."

"It's my fault. I should have told you not upload it." Izanagi stepped forward. 

Amara frowned at him. "Could you not make excuses for her please?"

"But... I'm partly to blame as well."

"She knows you were popular already that's why instead of using her Japanese account she posted it on her Chinese account. She knew better but she still did it for attention."

"Well..." Izanagi held his neck. I think he just wanted them to stop fighting. "It's okay. I don't blame either of you, and I'm not mad at either of you either."

Amara didn't seem to believe him at all for some reason.

Claire on the other hand looked awkward. "....I really am sorry." 

"It's okay."

Amara huffed. "When we first met you freaked out about me trying to take a picture of you, if its really alright-" she cut herself off and sighed. "Well, if you say you're fine with it, you're fine with it. We're both very sorry to inconvenience you." She bowed as a gesture of good-will and Claire mimicked her. 

Did something like that happen? If so, I think I can understand Amara's line of thinking after hearing him suddenly try to dismiss it.

Amara went upstairs. We all watched her in silence.

"Is... she mad at me now?" Izanagi asked me quietly after Claire went to the kitchen. 

"Well..." She's probably overthinking the matter at the moment. "No." From what I know she's always blaming herself when things like this happen. 

I decided to go up to check on her. 

Maybe I should have intervened in the argument earlier, but... I figured she might need to get this off her chest. All this time her dynamic with Claire has been one of tolerance. She was bound to lose it eventually.