The Boy Who Said Goodbye

Sitting under the bleachers with a cigarette has always relaxed me. The field was empty – no no-good soccer players today for me to judge, no fucking cheerleaders dancing their asses out, no nothing.

I lay down the ground, eyes getting hit with the sunlight piercing through the spaces the bleacher couldn't cover. The weed Hunter gave us is making me feel sick to my stomach. God my head fucking hurts and my eyes are stinging so much from last night. Carrie's usually don't get costumers during midnight but they had costumers every hour that night, it's annoying. Working there always felt like I'm getting paid for free except last night.

Normally, a sleep for an entire lecture is enough for me to get through the day but I felt extra tired from last night. Fuck. The drug's doing this to me. If I don't take one soon, my entire system will shut down – that's drugs. I need more heroin. But only Hunter gets us those and I'm not really in a good relationship with him right now. Fucking Hunter.

"Do you ever not skip your classes?"

Not him again.

"I mean, you got a gift so I guess your power makes things easier for you." I hear him sigh. "If Mr. Oliver didn't tell us you had photographic memory, I would have thought you were cheating but what you have is kind of like cheating right? Because you see the pictures in your head."

I squint my eyes, finally giving him the attention he's been seeking. I stared at his annoying innocent face. His cheeks make him look like he's always smiling and I hate that he always seem so happy. "I'm not in the mood today, kid. Walk away."

"Did you know that—"

He's another problem I can't seem to get rid of. The kid's pretty persistent. When I turn down a guy and they say they won't give up, they usually last about a week or so but this kid's been on my tail for weeks – no, months. The thought of him gives me a shiver down my spine.

"—he said it's one of the greatest gift anyone would ask for."

I glared at him. How can someone be so happy still after being rejected many times?

He smiles, showing a cup of coffee in his hands. "I got coffee."

And what does that have to fucking do with me? My brows creased inner as I stared at the cup he was holding. I can see the dark coffee inside, the liquid flowing like ocean waves, fishes jumping in and out of the coffee water. I really need another dose. I'm hallucinating much more than I did the last time I had one. I should have not taken that stupid drug. Now my body's asking for more – fuck.

"And I figured you wouldn't want it like that alone so I might have sprinkled a bit of beer there." He shows a pinch of his fingers, squinting his eyes to emphasize his point.

My brows arched in shock. No shit he just did that? The kid sure knows when to change himself to get what he wants. "You aren't allowed to bring liquor on campus."

"Come on." He tilts his head as if I had something to know. "I'm not that dumb." He wheezes as he sits across me. "I did the sprinkling off campus, okay?" His head jiggles the way one does when they're trying to act know-it-all. "Even if I liked you I wouldn't risk bringing a bottle inside the campus."

This kid…

"I realized I had to inject your preferences every time I want you to accept things from me so," He shows me the cup again. "Here. Take it and I hope it makes you feel better. Although I'm still concerned about how this will affect your body."

I rose from the ground and kept staring at the cup. If there was a way to accept this without making it look like I'm giving him a chance, I would have taken the cup the moment he told me it had beer in it.

"Just so you know, this is the only time I'm tolerating your drinking habits. Bad habits are hard to get rid of after all."

The urge to grab the drink from him inside me was strong. I'm not ready to willingly lower my pride for this holy drink to invade my insides. Fuck it. Let's just take it and forget it ever happened. I took the cup from the kid and took a sip. Beer… "What the f—" I choked, the moment bitterness hit my taste buds. "Did you put fucking expired beer in there or something?!" I exclaimed and he burst into laughter.

He laughs so I glared at him. "Now didn't that make you feel more awake?"

I hissed, throwing the cup away and it spills all over the ground. I wipe my lips with the back of my hand still getting that strong bitterness lingering all over my tongue.

"See." He crosses his arms. "I knew you weren't going to try it if I told you this was pure coffee. I had to say it had beer so you'd bite the bait." He laughs.

"Fuck you." I rolled my eyes. He fucking got me there, this bitch. If I wasn't desperate to get another heroin, I wouldn't have accepted it in the first place but I'm fucking high. The sound of beer or drugs or party makes my body want it badly.

"Mind you this is the purest coffee you've ever had in your life that's why it's bitterer than your perspective in life."

This fucker needs to shut his goddamn mouth.

"Sorry."

I spaced out. Saying sorry after deciding to do some shit on other people? What a creep. I leaned my back against the long cold metal that holds every level of the bleachers. The drink, I admit, did get rid of a lot of migraine there.

"You live so differently from other people."

I felt my jaws tightened as I turned to look at the kid who wasn't looking my way. I frowned at his statement. My high-self wanted to know why he says so but I didn't – thank God.

"It's like you're excluding yourself from the world on purpose."

"I don't see why this fucking concerns you."

"It concerns me because the more you push me away, the more interested I am to be with you." He turns to me. He looked too serious to be true. "It's scary, you know." What is? "It's scary when you start feeling too much worry and concern over someone who's constantly trying to throw you away."

What the fuck is he trying to say?

"It's scary because you know you can't control your emotions and feelings. They come out naturally so I'm sorry if I can't control myself from clinging onto you like a leech. I get it now. How girls feel when they're really into a person; when they get obsessive at some point." He adds. "They can't stop themselves because it's like magnet. It keeps attracting you even if you try to stay away."

"Stop talking to me." I cut him off before he gets too emotional and he starts crying and I'm not gonna know how to handle it. "I'm here to fucking relax and have a peaceful afternoon. I don't need to hear your fucking lectures on why people go crazy over the other. Just leave me alone now." I was about to lie down the ground but I see him shake his head stubbornly. "Fuck, Mark!" I exclaimed. "Is it so hard to get your ass up and walk away from me?!"

He nods like what he's doing was amusing. "Yes. It's hard to walk away from you, you should know that by now."

Jesus fucking Christ. He doesn't fucking listen, does he? "Fuck. Whatever. Rot all you want, I don't fucking care." I said under my breath as I lay back down the ground to sleep.

"I'd stay here with you even if it means getting hit by a ball."

I frowned. Get hit by a ball?

"Aren't you tired of being alone all the time?"

I'm not fucking alone all the time. Just fucking leave me alone.

"Well except when you go to parties and you have all your so called friends with you. I mean, alone as in you're being yourself alone when you're not with your friends."

Now he's not fucking making sense. "Let me sleep for fuck's sake."

"Seriously, don't you ever get tired of cursing so much too? I even get tired for you."

"Do I look like I fucking care about what you have to say?"

He blinks and clears his throat before saying, "Anyway, yeah, get some sleep. I'll block any ball I'm sure you need it more than anybody."

Get a fucking life and snap out of it.

The party Harry hosted wasn't as bad as the previous ones I had. People were wild and loud. Everything felt so fun but then again, maybe this is just an effect of the weed Hunter gave us again a while ago – like I didn't smash a vodka bottle over his head before. Fuck. If I don't stop taking these, I might actually die before Polar does.

"Hey. I'll just be around, a'ight? Loosen up, bitch!"

I rolled my eyes at Han and finished the cup of beer in my hands before throwing them away to the ground. I sighed and examined my surrounding. I didn't feel good. The drug's not doing anything to me when it should have affected my body two minutes ago.

I twist my ankle and almost fell when the drug starts getting into my system – it doesn't feel good as how they're supposed to. The whole place was twirling, warped and I see fucking Tinkerbell flying all over the room throwing luminous golden specks of dust. Fuck. This isn't good. I can't go back to the hospital in this state.

"Forest?"

I turned around and scanned for the person who just called my name but I failed. Tinkerbell is the only one I'm seeing right now. I start walking flimsily. I can't even recognize a fucking face anymore. They're all smudged if not pixelated. What the fuck did Hunter give us – this is not weed.

Tinkerbell's fairy wings were hypnotizing. I stretched my arms to reach for her wings that can't stay still. She shifted from one side to another causing me to stumble.

"Woah. Are you okay?" The man that caught me by the shoulders says.

I stood back up and faced the man. "Who the fuck are you?" I asked as I stared at an awfully blurry person's face. I can't work out on how he reacted since all I see is a distorted version of the person but I was sure it was a he – or maybe it's a she that wants to be a he. God, I don't fucking know.

"You sure do know how to give a warm welcome." Why is that voice so familiar to me? I squint my eyes, desperate to see the person's face. "It's me, Fire."

Shit. My ankle flinched as I stepped back in horror. Fucking Conner? REALLY? I leaned my face closer to the man unable to believe what I was hearing and the man gladly stays put. His lower face area stretched so I can only imagine him grinning wider. Fucking Conner. "What the fuck are you here for?"

"To pay my old friends a visit."

I bring my hands to his face to slap him as I snorted. "Friends, my fucking ass." Fuck. My mind's messed up. I'm messed up. I still can't believe fucking Conner is here. What the hell? This sure isn't a great time to deal with someone who once made you think he'd fix you.

"How…"

"What, just because a guy starts showing some interest, doesn't mean he's going to be serious with you forever." I glared at him even more. "I had fun following you around but you're not really the ecstasy to my life."

At this point, I just wanted to smash my fist over his face for what his trying to tell me.

"Love's a game, Forest. When you want something that doesn't want you back, it's entertaining and thrilling when you try to make them like you back but once they fall into your trap, it'll be game over. Nothing's fun after that."

"Go to fucking hell. Fuck you!"

I stared at the man who ruined my life even more. He's still a fucking dick even after vanishing for a year. This fucktard must have had fun in different states trying to fuck every girl he passes by the street.

"How have you been, Fire?"

"Don't fucking call me that." I hissed, passing by his shoulder but he follows.

"How have you been then, Forest?"

I stopped from my tracks and turned to face him with a glare. The nerve of this man is infuriating. I can't believe he still has the face to ask me that after what he had done. "Do I look like I'm fucking fine?"

He smirks. "No?"

"Yes. I'm fucking fine," I lean my face to his, making sure he sees the monster he created. "Conner." I balled my fist tighter, examining his shit face. The small wrinkles in his eyes appear more distinguishable than they were before. "So get out of my fucking face before you leave this town dickless." I thought the drugs were getting to me already then he appears and I'm sane again.

"You're swearing more than you did before." I see him raise his brows in amusement. Is this fun to him? Is coming back his way to entertain himself again? What a fucking sore. "When did that happen?"

"I don't see why it should be your concern." I squeeze myself in the crowd and I can still see his shadow trailing mine. I can't get myself involved with this man ever again – never.

I hear him laugh as if he'd already expected that. "I guess you just like using them now then. How refreshing."

Stop following me, you sick fucktard.

"Hey Conner?" I stopped walking, turned back to face him and he does the same. He smiles – his face expecting to hear something nice from me. "Can you do me a favor in honor of our past relationship and your fucking comeback in town?"

"Anything for you,"

"Can you just fucking die and leave me the fuck alone?" I smiled at him teasingly and his grin slowly fades. The past me wouldn't have been capable of saying things like that to people but that me's been long gone..

It takes him a while to recover but he speaks after a good five second. "Still as conceited as you'll ever be."

"Still as fucking annoying as you'll ever be."

"At least I wasn't dumb enough to think that love is real."

I smirked, wheezing at his pathetic fucking words. "If there's anything you proved here, it's how much of a fucking douchebag you really are, you fucktard." I leaned closer to him and made sure I was making myself more seductive than normal. "Now go fuck your old hags and get out of my fucking face." I crouched back to my position. "Oh and… For the sake of that weed brain of yours," I paused, my smirk growing wider. "I said go to fucking hell." With that, I marched my way away from the dickhead and disregarded the thought that people might have witnessed the drama I just fired up.

"Where have you been? She woke up looking for you. I didn't know what to say." I removed my jacket, looking down at Polar who was sound asleep as I arrived back in her room.

"Things in school." I replied briefly before sitting over the chair next to Polar's bed.

"The doctor came." Fuck. Are they going to tell me to give them the full payment now? "He said that they failed to get rid of the tumor because it's too close to her heart and it might be critical to progress with the surgery. They say it's best to have the surgery pieces at a time."

"That's what they always fucking do, don't they?" I stared at Polar's lifeless body. "They always tell you to have another surgery because it's fucking critical to do it all at once so they can steal more money from people."

"Or they just really did what they think is best for your sister."

Oh please. I tug her over the thin sheets in dismay. Her eyes suddenly opened. She looks at me, her lips parting as she tried to speak. "Hey," I mumbled planting my hands over her arms as I wait for her to respond.

"Forest,"

I looked at her pitifully.

"Am I better now?"

I froze. Seeing her lying down this bed, different tubes inserted around her body, needles after needles injected through her veins – is a lot harder to bare. I manage to flash her a smile as I nod my head. "Not yet." I said lowly. "But you're getting there, okay? Just a little bit more."

"Then I can play with you?"

I spaced out before looking back at her in pity. I bobbed my head saying, "When you get better, Polar." I gulped unable to look at her in the eyes. "We can do anything you want when you get better so hang in there, okay?"

She smiled weakly. "Promise?"

I didn't want to lie but I still did. I can't wash off that hope for her just because a stupid fucking doctor tells me they need to operate her little by little before they successfully get rid of all the tumor. I blinked and pressed my lips before responding, "I promise."