Pitiful Violet

"Where are your parents, Violet?"

My gaze went down the floor but I smiled bitterly and looked back up to my teacher as if it wasn't obvious that the mention of my parents bothered me. "They couldn't come, Mrs. Dee." I can tell my teacher knew it was a lie. I can tell she knew I didn't want to talk about them despite her curious look. "Don't worry Mrs. Dee, it's fine."

She looks at me pitifully but nods without asking further questions. "They must be busy with their works. It would be nice to have them here for once. They need to know how wonderful their daughter is in school."

Would be—

"Go ahead then. You may leave."

—impossible.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Mrs. Dee."

I walked out of the room and see my friends, Ally, Ezreal, and Donna, waiting by the hallway. They approached me and started interrogating me about the talk I had with our teacher. "What took you so long? Did you fail a subject? What'd she say? Is it bad? Good? Neither? Both? What'd she say?"

I shook my head laughing. "No, it's nothing like that." For once, I get to laugh and smile when I'm away from home – when I'm with my friends at school. It's the one place that makes me truly happy. "She just asked me why my parents couldn't come during recognition day."

Oh – were the only words that came out of their mouths.

I have been friends with them for more than five years and it felt nice to have people that got your back no matter how tough life is. Right now, they were the only people that I felt genuinely happy with without trying to pretend like everything's okay.

"Cheer up, Vi! We still need to go to Lancel if we want TCN to notice us remember?" Ally said hugging my arms, pulling me to walk with her so I did.

The four of us walked as we always did whenever we get news about TCN's live. "That's right! We can't let other people have our boys by catching their attentions first! We're too competitive to lose!" Donna adds and clings onto my other arm.

We were on our way out of school when I saw someone from a distance that made us all stop. I couldn't keep my eyes off the man I've secretly liked for four years with a girl who looked like she could be his type.

"Violet..."

I didn't say anything. My friends knew about my undying love for the man and I'm grateful they don't judge me as much as I expected.

"Mark is not the guy for you okay? He already turned you down twice. You shouldn't be foolish enough to let him turn you down for the third time. You deserve a better guy," Ally pats my back. "Now let's go watch our boys before it's only backs we could see."

Watching TCN's busking for free has been my only motivation to keep up with the life I was chosen to live with. The four of us head to Lancel for the show and as usual, it never fails to make me feel better about myself. It was only 4 in the afternoon and I have to be home by 5 at least to prepare supper. The show usually lasts for 30 minutes so I had enough time to walk back home in time for dinner.

We reached the site and positioned ourselves in the front row so we could watch the show clear. "Did you guys watch The Voice yesterday? George won! I'm so gonna be his fan. He's good looking and his voice is just amazing. Look," Donna reaches out for her phone and shows us a picture of the guy.

The guy, George, looked like he was taken care of well during his childhood. His fair complexion tells me so. His eyes were really small and his face was edgy - like a model. He looks like he could be half-something. I had no idea who he was since we didn't have any television before but Donna often talks about him and I do remember her idolizing the guy so much she would pay a million just to have a dinner with him.

"Margoue just posted another makeup tutorial in her channel! It was lit. I feel like she's the only beauty guru who deserve a million subscribers." Margoue was a YouTuber that Ezreal really looked up to. She followed her so much that she wastes her money on everything Margoue suggests to have and she doesn't even know how to use them. She just keeps them all in a box as if to commemorate her love for the guru.

"Oh my God! They're here! TCN!" Ally exclaims. "JOSHUAAAA!" She screams on top of her lungs along with my two other friends' own cheers. The show starts and everyone was just jamming along with them for the rest of the afternoon.

AFTER bidding good bye to my friends, we separated ways and I headed to a place I always go to before I head home. It was the interception between a local restaurant and an old apartelle. I have always been thankful that the owner of this aluminium foil never came back for it because it's the only thing that keeps me dancing. It wasn't an ideal space to move but dancing in general was enough for me and it makes me really happy doing it regardless the small place. As much as I want my parents to be proud of what I really wanted to do, it always seemed like a failed career for any person doing it.

On my way home, I see my friends laughing together in a park nearby. I didn't even wonder why they came here without telling me but I didn't mind.

I was about to scare them from the back when I heard my name so I had to stop.

"So true! Violet's so annoying when we feel obligated to carry her problems with us. I mean, her problems in their house should just stay there, you know! I just pity her so much that's why I'm sticking with her all this time. She doesn't have anyone except us for now and I get why. She's not really fun to be with. She just laughs and nods and, just the boring things."

"And did you notice how often she tells us so much about herself but we never complain? To be honest, it's just getting so tiresome hearing her talk about herself all the time."

"Yeah, I mean, we're not always interested with her story and we never force her to listen to our story. She's so selfish and insensitive. How can she not stop talking about herself? That's like, too much self-love. Do we look like we could solve all her problems for her? Do we look like we're into her life or something? That's just absurd. I can't just tell her because I was worried that she might kill herself and also—"

I stepped back quietly making sure that they don't notice me.

My heart shatters into pieces as I walked away from them. So they never really cared for me. They were just staying with me all this time because they pity me. It's just too painful now that it was coming from them. It would have been less painful if it came from another person. That way, there would still be chance that they weren't telling the truth. But this is them. The words came right out of their mouths.

I walked away with a heavy heart and questions that filled my head. I don't even wanna know why they were suddenly talking bad about me and why they never brought this up when we're together so I had time to change myself for them but they didn't. They had to talk about me behind my back. Sometimes I wish people were more frank about how they feel so it wouldn't be like this.

Slowly and quietly, I walked away from the people I thought I trusted. It suddenly feels like I was being stabbed in the heart and I was emotionally breaking down from what I just learned.

It was 4:50 when I got home. I was welcomed by mother and father looking at me like how they usually do – angry and full of despise. Mint came out from the curtain door and points at me the way a victim points a criminal – an accused criminal. "It's hers. I saw her." She pauses and walks closer to where my parents stood. "I saw her light one up before."

"What?" I asked confused what she was talking about. "W-What are you talking a—" I haven't even finished my sentence when I felt the hands of my father slam against my left cheek. I froze surprised and now, all I could feel was numbness.

"We've been working non-stop so you can finish your school and this is what you pay us?! Instead of studying your ass off, you're out getting lucky and high while we're suffering to give you your needs!"

Something hit my chest part and when it dropped down the floor, it was a box of cigarette. That moment, I couldn't stop my tears from falling because even if I wanted to tell them that it wasn't mine but Mint's, they wouldn't believe me at this point. They were too angry to hear my side and I knew that. I just had to take it all in now without trying to fight back unless I wanted something more than a slap.

"T-That's not—" Suddenly, father pushes me back so I fell out of the house for trying to defend myself. Now that he pushed me out, I could smell the mud from outside the house.

"Get out of my fucking house. If I see a single finger of yours inside the house, I'll kill you with my own hands."

Just like that, he shuts the door hard and I was lying down the muddy ground in tears and pain - helpless. My tears were just streaming down my face even if I tried to stop it – even if I tried to prevent down from falling down. I stood from where I fell and looked around me. People were passing by looking at me in disgust and pity which wasn't new to me because all my life, I've been looked at like that for so many times that it never bothered me until today.

I started walking away with unpleasant thoughts of dying and taking my own life. At this point, I was just mentally asking my own worth in this world because I already felt so worthless and unimportant even to people who should make me feel that way. I thought I could still fix the broken relationship our family always had but it all seem so impossible now that they kicked me out of the house and I have nowhere to go but the dirty streets of Albane.

Now that I literally had no one I can lean on, I wasn't sure if I still wanted to live. My thoughts were as dark as the path I was about to take. No lights, no stars, no moon – there isn't light anymore. I feel like I'm heading down a pit hole - a deep dark hole that's telling me to jump and be one with it. My mind was so shaken and broken that I was starting to look for sharp objects. Sharp objects I intend to use to cut myself – to end it all here once and for all. I want the pain to stop. I just wanted everything to end as I took heavy steps closer to my death.

When I reached the highway, I sat over the sidewalk crying, hugging my knees in discomfort, guilty that I was capable of considering the inconsiderable solution to my problems – guilty that I was letting life beat me with its challenges.

My stomach was rumbling in hunger and I don't have money to buy food. I could steal from stores but I wasn't raised to be a thief. My whole body was shaking because of the cold breeze of winter's call and I wanted a little warmth from a cozy fire pit. My feet felt cold from the night weather. I wrapped myself with the newspaper I picked up from the ground but it didn't help. All I could do now is shiver and endure the hunger I was feeling until someone's kind enough to offer me food or money.

"Violet?"

Because I was freezing so much, my head was turning slowly to the left when I heard someone say my name. I assumed it was someone that knew me and it was indeed my teacher. "M-M-Mrs. D-Dee..."

"Oh dear Lord, what are you doing here? Where are your parents?" Mrs. Dee ran to where I was and wraps her coat around me. The warmth inside her jacket gave me a bit of happiness. "Why are you outside? It's going to snow very soon. You shouldn't be here. Why aren't you home?"

"You said homes s-should be full of l-love, Mrs. Dee but they don't love me." My head ached from the temperature and my tears were falling down to my cheeks again. "T-They don't love me. They hate me..."

She hissed and pulls me to a warm embrace. "They don't hate you. They just love you this much that they're doing this to you. Don't say that."

I shook my head and felt my tears falling down again. "They don't love me. They never did. I was never considered a part of their family. I'm doing everything I can for them – for our future but they never pay attention. They only see a second child that weigh a thousand pounds over their backs. I'm a burden to them. They don't love me. They don't."

"Listen to me, Violet." I hear my teacher say. "If your parents don't really love you, why do you think they still gave birth to you? Don't you think they would have killed you inside your mother's stomach if they didn't love you at all?"

I sniffed and tried to take Mrs. Dee's comment positively. I never really thought of it that way but it made sense and I was hoping my teacher was saying all these because it's true and not because she felt the need for me to hear those words.

"So stop saying that they don't love you because they do." For the first time, I found out how it feels like for someone to comfort you and make you feel better and worthy. It was something that I have never felt with my family. "Now, now." She picks me up from the ground and helps me walk. "Let's get you in my house for now, hm? Stop crying."

MRS. DEE's house was a lot better than where I lived – far better. It wasn't big but it felt comfortable and pleasing like it was made out of love and comfort. It felt like home. It was very bright inside with white fluorescent lights and a clean cream wall. Her things were organized and it wasn't as messy as the home I grew up in.

She makes me sit in their dining area alone before joining me with a mug and teapot and pours in hot water before she stirs with a silver teaspoon. The chocolate scent starts lingering in my nose as soon as she lands the cup in front of me. "Drink this so you can warm up."

I held the cup with both hands and the hot surface stings me for a moment before I got used to it. I took a small sip and it burns my tongue and throat. The sweet and savory taste of the chocolate in my mouth makes you just want another sip enough to not care about how bad my tongue would hurt.

"Did your parents leave you out of the house?" she asks and I nodded. "What happened?" Tears started building up in the corner of my eyes again as I shook my head in disappointment and pain. I wanted to tell her everything I was feeling deep inside my heart but I was crying so much that it prevented me from doing it. "It's okay. You can stay here until they come looking for you. You're a very sweet, kind, and adorable child. I'm sure they'll find a way to bring you back in their lives soon. Stop crying okay?"

THE next day was pretty normal except that I was under the care of my teacher now. I don't know what I did to receive a blessing like her so I was so grateful that I had a teacher like Mrs. Dee who's not only a second mother at school, but a second mother to anyone who seeks for her kindness. She has a very soft heart and I hope God blesses her more so she could help more children like me who are kicked out from their own family. The world needs more people like her after all.

I was waiting for Mrs. Dee to come out from the faculty room when my friends stopped walking upon seeing me outside. I looked back at them briefly but looked away quickly just because I couldn't bear to look at their faces and act like I didn't how awful they look at me. After that, they never really approached me again. Besides, they never wanted me as their friend so it was only right for me to just avoid them and leave them alone. I didn't want to force them to like me no matter what.

"You should have come inside instead of waiting here." Mrs. Dee said but I bowed my head down and shook my head no.

"It's okay Mrs. Dee. I'm okay here. Let me help you with that," I grabbed the folders and books she was carrying and held them over my arms.

She smiles at me. "Thank you,"

We went back to her house together. As soon as we got there, she heads immediately to her office and tells me to just eat supper if I get hungry because she might be busier tonight than other days. I was just sitting down the living room wandering around and saw a frame of their family picture.

I looked at it with jealousy and admiration. Mrs. Dee's husband looked handsome with his sky blue polo sleeves and his neatly brushed up brown hair. Between them was a young boy who was smiling as bright as the sun. He was wearing khaki shorts with his whale-printed white shirt and a pair of Spiderman shoes. I smiled at the photograph wondering how it felt like to have a picture like this with your family.

It has been two hours since I last ate my dinner alone and Mrs. Dee never stepped out of the room she was working at. I looked at the time that read eleven in the evening and she hasn't even eaten anything. I stood from where I sat and prepared a sandwich for her. After that, I also made coffee for her to drink while she works. I put it in a tray and march my way towards the door to her office.

I knocked twice and she weakly tells me to come in. "Mrs. Dee," The moment I stepped in, I could see her face light up as I approached her. She looked nothing like how she was the last time I saw her and I was sure that she was only hiding her pain behind that smile of hers. Her hair was a lot messier than when we arrived. She looked stressed from overworking. "I brought you some sandwich, Mrs. Dee. I think this is enough food for you to take in if you're not planning to eat anything at all tonight."

"Thank you, dear." She said underneath her breath and takes a sip of the coffee. "Have you eaten your dinner? I'm sorry I couldn't cook you a meal today."

I shook my head and told her that it was fine. I sat over a vacant chair near her table and looked at the mess in her desk. Papers were scattered everywhere and there was about a five feet tall metal ring standing next to her. I'd think it was some kind of a robot but then again, it wasn't shaped anything like that at. "What's that, Mrs. Dee?" I asked curious of what was keeping her busy.

She gulped and brings down the cup. "That is something I'm trying to develop."

I knew then it had to be something in line with the subject she teaches us. "Being a Physics teacher must be hard," I looked down at her files trying to comprehend the scribbled numbers and symbols – equations I have never encountered in my life. I could see few familiar ones she uses for lectures in class but the formula, I don't get. "You even have to do all this for it. You're really amazing Mrs. Dee."

She chuckles. "Violet, do you believe in the concept of multiverse?"

I frowned at my teacher's sudden question. "You mean that Earth is not one but infinite?" She nods in response. "I don't know Mrs. Dee. I've never heard of possibilities."

"Well," She pauses and sets the plate aside. "Bartax said it is and I want to prove his point someday because I personally believe in the multiverse. It might seem crazy but with Science, I think it's possible to create a pathway to another universe. Just that every possible means aren't very possible in our generation"

Mrs. Dee was so passionate of her work that she stayed in her working area all night.

It was already Saturday yet she still hasn't left the room since last night. I often delivered her food to eat but she barely even touched any of them every time I gave her another. It was almost seven in the evening when I woke up from sleeping when I noticed that the door of her office was slightly open.

I stood rubbing my eyes and approached the room. "Mrs. Dee?" I asked but a heavy wind just brushed right through my face. I blinked several times as I widened the gap of the door and my eyes were closing when a blinding light hits my sight. I covered up my face to see what was happening but all I could see was the bright light coming from the room and the strong wind that was keeping me in place.

I took unsure steps to the front but my ankle twisted and suddenly I felt something pulling me away. I kept my grip tight over something hard but my hands were slowly slipping. "Mrs. Dee!" My hands slid off and everything went black.

My body flinches and my senses were slowly coming back from what felt like gravity tearing me apart. I was dizzy and all I could hear was the sound of an electric wave buzzing in my ear endlessly. "Mrs. Dee?" I mumbled and my eyes opened wandering around. I found myself lying down an unfamiliar place. I looked down and I was kissing the concrete ground. I carry myself back up and stood.

Day? I took little steps forward and looked around.

The moment I reached the street, it felt like I was in a different place but the road looked familiar, the buildings too. Albane? I was definitely in Albane but the buildings changed. The neighborhood was clean and the place was much greener now with trees and plants all over the area. The houses weren't broken and dirty anymore. The sky was much bluer. The park was pack full of kids and their parents with laughs and smiles.

If this isn't heaven, I don't know what is. I thought to myself still confused of where I am right now.

A strike of pain hits my head. People were passing by and there were cars – a lot of cars, beeping at my direction as I cross the street. Everyone looked like they wore expensive clothes and they all had phones in their hands. They all looked so busy and happy at the same time.

"Black?" I turned around out of consciousness and saw a guy – that could be eight feet tall without even trying to know his real height. He was a giant - a giraffe. I stop walking and he keeps looking at me and yells, "BLACK!"