Chapter 2

I walked outside my house, slowly, and looked up at the starry sky silently, like the death that was yet to come.

I sighed and looked down at my white dress; it sagged on my weak form. My pale skin shining from the moonlight's gentle brush of light.

For a moment, I turned and looked one last time at the mansion I lived in.

The mansion, a giant white marble, looked grand with its eight large pillars at the front porch, which connected the entire building. Delicate carvings of angels and warriors were on the wall near the glass door. My mother's lawn chairs sat out front, along with her chess table with some pieces standing up and some knocked over, which her and her friends would sit and play each Monday. While my father's withered and moldy rocking chair, which was on the left side of the porch, reminded me of terrible memories...very terrible... It served as a reminder of what I lost that day... The day IT happened. That is why I want to end it all.

I can't live with the pain of knowing I will never ever be loved... never be held... never be hugged...I'll never get married...I'll never...be known...

I shook my head and turned around, my back facing the front porch; tears flowing down both my eyes like two raging rivers.

I then walked down the street which I knew so well, my white dress blowing in the slight breeze. I gazed at the empty street in front of me silently as I walked. I remember the time when I went to the market with my father to get some milk and veggies when he was still alive. I had walked this path many times as a girl... who knew it would only turn into my last.

I should never of been born. Yet, I'd be more happier if I didn't exist!

I thought about this as I turned down the street that would lead me to the bridge. It was a little wooden bridge with a roaring river flowing under it. Many animals had fallen into this river before and drowned. When I was six, I heard a young child, about three, fell into this river and drowned. The rapids should carry me far enough, I thought as I stepped into the neighboring woods. This is the one I ran in as a little girl when the incident happened.

The wind blew harshly and made me blink, but I trudged onwards, the twigs cracking under my feet. I was filled with determination to die. No birds sang. The sun hadn't come up yet. Not even the sound of crickets chirping was heard. Everything around me felt dead, and probably was...

Death's awaiting me, I thought, it's going to suck me in like a giant whirlpool! I just know it. This will mean nothing. No one will find my body; it will be like sunken treasure the bottom of the river. I'll be forgotten like how I have been for the past twelve years. I'm twenty...and that's how long I'm planning to live for!

At this point, I feel like the world just wants me to die. Nobody wanted me. Nobody came for me. Nobody helped me. Nobody loved me. Nobody cared for me. I'M JUST A GODDAMN FORGOTTEN MEMORY!!!

My emotions were screaming at me from my mind like crying children...and they were right.

I came into a clearing and my head dropped. I stared at my feet which were now covered in slimy mud due to me not wearing shoes. The mud made me feel like a dirty fat pig who's about to be slaughtered. I reached down onto the ground and picked up some loose dirt and wiped it all over my face; I now truly felt like a dirty and ugly pig... which was the truth...

I walked over and put my hand on a certain tree, trying to think about how many times I had sat at it's trunk and talked aloud to nobody. I cried out for my father thinking he would come back to me, but he didn't. I wiped some of the mud off my face and onto the tree so it could have a little memory of me.

This poor tree had to hear all about my dilemmas... It would be the last thing I would talk to before I walked to my gravestone.

"The river." I said aloud almost in a trance...

I clenched my fists holding back tears. My emotions writhing within my chest and mind. I felt my body and soul being dragged to the bridge like a fish and a fisherman.

I winced and turned sucking in a breath. "This is goodbye... I'm dying tonight... You won't have to worry about me... After this I'll be dead..."

With that I headed to the bridge. My chest felt heavy even though I had a flat chest. I wasn't beautiful anyway, so it didn't matter to me that much. What was wrong with me? I thought. What were these emotions? Why are they so insane?

I'm not afraid to die, that's not the problem, but then why...?

The rapids became louder with each step, until I was finally face-to-face with the bridge that laid before me. Before I continued, I gazed at the bridge, relieved knowing that death was just before my reach.

I stepped up and slowly headed to the center, the boards creaking beneath my feet like old bones. I could hear the rapids below me calling out to me, "Emily, come join us in the place of regret!" The rapids were beckoning me to them, like a deer to a hunter, I was tempted.

I stepped up, feeling my adrenaline rush as I stepped onto the top wooden railing and looked down. The moon's light shined over the river, revealing the river's raging currents. The rapids rushed like a lovely death wish.

I smiled down at the river, knowing that was where I belong with the other forgotten souls. "Goodbye Earth, you showed me that no one cared about me...!" With that I leaned over and fell...