12. Complications
Unfortunately, the next day started with Potions. I wasn't really looking forward meeting Severus or Draco after what happened yesterday. Severus would be angry and Draco… I had thought about it in bed before falling asleep but didn't really know what I could do except ignoring him. Or at least giving my best to do so. I shouldn't do something like with Lockhart yesterday again, would only get me a lot of trouble. Therefore, I wasn't eager arriving at the classroom.
"Come on Arya, we're late. Hurry up!" Hermione called when I walked slowly through the corridors. I had been thinking about everything that could happen now. Severus wouldn't talk to me in class about it but due to my magic I would have to feel his disapproval for 1,5 hours. When I looked up now Hermione was already taking my arm and dragged me forwards. I stumbled almost over my feet.
"Hermione, come on we have ten minutes left." I whined.
"Yes but we have to get there first, find a seat and prepare our things. If you hadn't taken so much time in the bathroom this morning, we would be down there already." She stated. I only rumbled. When we arrived in the right corridor we could see that the last one's had just walked through the door. Crap, I thought, that means that Severus is already inside. Hermione wouldn't let go of my arm so she pulled me into the classroom. I turned my head down and walked quickly after her when she went straight to two seats left beside in the second row.
"You can be lucky that he isn't here yet." Hermione said warningly. I looked up and she was right, Severus wasn't there. I felt relieved for a second and breathed out. "What is wrong with you today?" Hermione asked with furred eyebrows. "Normally, you love Potions but today it seems as if you are scared or absentminded."
Thankfully, Seamus spared me to give an answer by turning into our direction. He sat before us with a terrified Neville sitting next to him. "Well, Snape was here to let us in but rushed away because he had to take care of something."
"Did he tell you what he had to take care of?" I asked silently.
"No, he didn't but he seems to be very angry today. I mean even more than normally. Wonder what's the reason…" With that he turned around again. Whilst he had said that I had sunk in my chair. Now I was sure that I would get in a lot of trouble and only because of this stupid test of Lockhart's. Before Hermione could say anything more about my strange behavior we could hear the door closing with a loud noise. The second afterwards, before I saw Severus walking to the front, I felt his anger.
Sometimes I really hated my magic. Without it I wouldn't have to remark things like this. Strong emotions really can be disturbing. To be fair with everybody around me I had learned my best to be able to ignore them if it wasn't important or necessary. But strong emotions were penetrating my mind like daggers in someone's chest. So I winced slightly when I felt Severus emotion entering the room. When he stood in front of us his piercing gaze went through the class. He didn't look at me though but I could see that his face was emotionless, even his eyes didn't show any emotions. That really was a bad sign because normally he would give himself away by his eyes but there was nothing except the cold mask. Without any explanation to why he was late he gave us the ingredients for a cough potion. Then he sat down at his desk writing down something. Trying to ignore his anger I started by cutting some roots. I was so distracted that I cut myself earning a warning look from Hermione. "Damn it" I said to myself and healed the cut before someone would notice. Then I looked around to see if someone had noticed but nobody was watching except one person. He looked at me with a mix of pity and malicious joy. Draco knew exactly what was going through my head and what was making Severus so angry. Grinning now he pointed to Severus, hold his knife to his throat and finally pointed to me. I gulped and tried to ignore him but I knew what he wanted to tell me. I was dead. If Severus was truly angry than it was with me. No other student was so important to him and I had made a dangerous mistake yesterday.
I turned my gaze to the potion in front of me which was almost spilling over the edge of the cauldron. Quickly I continued by adding the roots. I concentrated myself to stir the potion the right times. Unfortunately, my hands were shaking. My mind could ignore the anger that flooded this room but my body couldn't. Furthermore, Severus was walking around now and controlling our progress. The nearest he came the less I could concentrate on my potion. So it was no surprise to me when I was so agitated from this strong emotion that the potion finally spilled around everywhere. Hermione and Ron sitting next to me were squealing and stepping back quickly. It took Severus no time to appear in front of me and when I dared to look him in the eyes I could see that I had been mistaken. He wasn't angry, he was furious! His eyes showed the emotion as strong as I could feel it. I couldn't move.
"Jackson!" He called coldly. I avoided looking him in the eyes and only stepped back from the mess in front of me. I could feel everybody watching me. "That makes Gryffindor lose 10 points and a bad mark for you." A swipe with his wand and all the mess was gone. Severus turned around walking towards his desk, his cloak breezing behind him. "As for the rest of you, time's up. Bring me your potions. Jackson you stay behind." Whilst everybody hurried to go out as quickly as possible I got a lot of pity looks. Hermione, Ron and Harry smiled encouraging in my direction but I only continued starring at the table in front of me. I stood there frozen until the loud bang of the door ripped me out of my rigor. Slowly, I lifted my head, facing a furious Severus. He stared at me, I knew he was waiting for me to step forward seeing as I was the one who had made the mistake. Trying not to make any noise I walked in front of the classroom until I stood only two steps away from him. I couldn't do anything else than standing there looking crestfallen and feeling even worse of remorse.
"I am more than disappointed, Aryanna. I never thought you would do something like that after you told me how important it is to protect Draco." His voice was calm and cold. It would be a lot better if he screamed at me. "I want you to tell me how you got this stupid idea. I hope you had a very good reason." I gulped and looked up, meeting his gaze.
"I…" my voice broke after the first word. Gulping again I started a second time. "I don't really know how I got the idea but… I was annoyed by Lockhart and had no clue about the answers. And to annoy him I thought about a person I would know every answer to. So I chose Draco, thinking that he wouldn't notice." I finished my short explanation hoping it would decrease Severus' anger but as I looked him in the eyes I saw that it hadn't – in contrary.
"I think you didn't think at all!" His voice was getting louder and showing his anger now. "I know you couldn't have known that Draco would do the same about himself but what I'm angry about is the fact that you involved him. I mean you gave the written prove that you know something about him, that you know a lot about him."
"It turned out well." I tried to calm him down but I saw that it was the wrong thing to say. His face was distorted with rage now.
"It turned out well?! Do you know what you are saying? What is wrong with you Aryanna Jackson?! What you are doing here is not acceptable nor safe. You want to keep Draco safe but now you gave 54 proves that you know Draco Malfoy in person. IN PERSON ARYA. The Gryffindor Aryanna Jackson, daughter of Tom Vorlost Riddle knows the son of the Malfoy family. If anyone finds that out Draco is right in the firing line. And that is – just to remind you – exactly what you wanted to prevent! To put him there just because you DIDN'T THINK is pure stupidity and egoism."
I could feel tears on my face. I hadn't even noticed that I had started crying. I was so overwhelmed with guilt and anger at myself. My body started shaking now and I couldn't stand on my feet anymore. I fell on the floor and buried my hands in my hair clenching it. I sobbed uncontrollably now. Suddenly, I could feel two arms going around me taking me in a strong hug.
"I'm sorry… So sorry… It's all my fault!" I whispered again and again. Severus only rocked me slightly not saying anything. After what seemed to be hours I stopped crying and wound myself out of his embrace. Wordless, Severus gave me a handkerchief and I tried to make myself look normal again. When I watched myself in the mirror in one corner of the room I saw that my eyes looked puffy and red. By help of magic I made it go away, not feeling any better. Slowly, I packed my books in my bag, Severus watching me.
"Arya?" I heard him say when I turned to leave. Looking him in the eyes for the last time I said: "I swear on Nala's life that I won't do anything reckless like this again. I will find the test papers and make them disappear. And I won't talk to Draco anymore, never!" I could see in his eyes that it wasn't what he had wanted to hear but I left anyway. I wouldn't let Draco come near to me again. Severus was right, my action had been very dangerous. Tonight, I would break into Lockhart's office and destroy the tests of the whole class. Taking a deep breath, I made my way to Transfigurations.
Arriving at the classroom I took a deep breath and knocked on the door before entering. Professor McGonagall was explaining a spell but stopped when I opened the door. The whole class turned around to see who it was. Draco and Blaze were watching me with slightly worried expressions but I ignored them.
"I'm sorry Professor but Professor Snape wanted to talk to me."
"Yes, I know. I wish a word with you too after this class. Now take a seat please." She said pointing to the empty chair next to Hermione. Quickly I took a seat, taking out my books. Hermione looked at me smiling comforting and I returned it to show her that everything was alright even if nothing was.
After class everybody packed their things, eager to have lunch.
"Hey guys, can you reserve me a seat? I'll come as soon as possible." I asked them before they left. Sighting I waited until the door closed after the last one. Then I looked up only to see a stern looking Professor watching me closely.
"Jackson tell me what happened." She ordered. I felt very uneasy and played with my fingers.
"Well… I was very distracted today so my potion spilled everywhere and Professor Snape was… he was furious." I said determined hoping that she would drop it now.
"Are you sure?" Professor McGonagall asked.
"Yes!" I hadn't expected this question. "Why?"
"I remember last year." She looked me straight in the eyes. Asking, I raised my eyebrows. "Last year you were fighting with Professor Snape whenever you had a chance to. Then it stopped from one day to another but now I'm afraid it's coming back again."
I stood up taking my bag. "Don't worry Professor, I won't do that again. I'm only having a bad day today, that's all." She watched me closely not really satisfied with my answer.
"I will keep an eye on you. Now go and have dinner." With that I turned around and left. I could feel her looking after me. I really would have to be careful with her. Professor McGonagall wasn't stupid.