18

18. Trustworthy Professor

When Harry pushed the door open we were facing Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall, Mrs. and Mr. Weasley. As they took sight of Ginny they run towards her and embraced her strongly. Mrs. Weasley was crying whilst Mr. Weasley didn't say anything.

"I think we all want to know what happened!" Dumbledore stated so Harry told them everything whilst Ron and I stood next to him. I didn't really listen to his words, I felt so exhausted. But stronger than my weakness was the feeling of disappointment. I had failed my magic! I hadn't been able to defend my friends. I was so angry at myself, at the same time I would have loved to get away from here. I wanted to be alone to deal with myself.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when the Weasley's left to the hospital wing, taking Lockhart in tow. Professor McGonagall turned to look at us when she had closed the door behind them.

"Well… Professor Sprout told me that Madame Pomfrey is giving out Mandrake juice, so your friend Ms. Granger will be waking up any moment." She said smiling but I couldn't return it. Harry, however, got excited. "Do you think we can go and-".

Suddenly, the door burst open and in rushed Severus. His expression was a mix of anger and worry. He glanced at Harry before his gaze turned on me. Watching me closely, Severus took a step forwards. I wasn't able to look at him so I lowered my head.

"Harry, I think you should go to your friend. I'd like a word with Aryanna." Dumbledore said smiling gently. Harry nodded and looked at me. "See you later." And with that he left, not without casting a strange look at Severus who was still standing there staring at me. When the door locked behind him there was a long silence. I was gazing at the floor, Severus was staring at me, Professor McGonagall looked at Severus and Dumbledore watched the scene with amusement.

"Who wants to speak first?" Dumbledore asked happily, looking at each of us. Professor McGonagall seemed irritated for a second before she spoke. "I think you owe me an explanation, Severus."

Her expression was stern as Severus looked up and sighted. Then he looked at me again.

"Aryanna needs to rest first." He stated in return. That made me look up at him.

"I don't need rest!" I said quietly.

"Yes, you do, stubborn girl!" I heard a slight trace of anger in his voice. I furrowed my eyebrows looking him in the eyes.

"Stop patronizing me, please!" I exclaimed annoyed. "I can speak for myself!"

"Why so sharp?" Severus asked, eyebrows raised. I gulped and looked down again. Feeling my eyes prickling, I turned away.

"Arya." I heard him saying softly. This made me lose the last control I had left.

"Please," I said whimpering, not really knowing what I wanted anymore. My feelings where overwhelming me. Disappointment because I hadn't been able to protect my friends, anger because of my father, sorry because of Draco and Severus and my friends. I was lying to Draco and my friends – and worse – even to Severus. Severus arms were suddenly around me and I started crying in his robe. Comforting, he stroked my hair softly, again and again.

"I think the explanation can wait until tomorrow." Professor McGonagall said after a while. Realizing what she was saying I freed myself from Severus' strong embrace. "NO!" I shouted desperate. She watched me strangely and exchanged a look with Severus behind me.

"Are you sure you want to do this now?" He asked quietly, laying one hand on my shoulder in comfort. Not turning around, I nodded. "Fine" I heard him sighting. "But be warned, Minerva, it'll take some time."

"I have time." She stated matter of factly. There was a silence until I had managed to dry my face and make myself look presentable. Glancing at Severus I saw him smiling at me. Then he started in a low voice.

"Well, it starts before Arya was born. Leyanne - her mother - and I were like brother and sister. When I was in fifth year she came to Hogwarts. She thought she needed to learn wizardry even if she was a fairy with magic. When she fell in love with Tom Riddle, I tried to convince her that he wasn't good but she didn't want to listen." His voice was traced by sadness and he gulped before continuing. Comforting, I took his hand and he squeezed it slightly. "We had several arguments until we managed to spend time with each other again without arguing. We kept our friendship in secret, she didn't want him to know about me." Severus made a short break, staring at the wall absentmindly. "I was with her when she died… She asked me to protect Arya from her father and I swore with my life…" He looked at me now and I could see all the sadness in his life. Losing my mother had hurt him so much. I took a step closer in his direction so my shoulder touched his arm, our hands still entangled. "She had contacted Albus so that he would take Aryanna with him. Two weeks after Leyanne's death he wrote me and asked to come to the old Weasley house on the beach. So I came. And when I saw Aryanna it was like… my whole life changed!" Severus was smiling now and his eyes were shining bright as he told the story. "There was this little girl who tried to climb on my lap. When she saw that I was looking at her smiling she watched me sternly so I took her up. Then she laughed and played with my robes. Albus told me that I needed to take care of her. That was in the night when the Dark Lord had killed the Potter's and had been destroyed. So I took her with me and changed my whole apartment for this little bunch of energy." As I looked around I could see that everyone was smiling, even Professor McGonagall who was lost in Severus' narration.

"My whole day was filled out with Aryanna." Now he chuckled. Indignantly, but gently, I exclaimed: "That's not true!" That only made him laugh so I took my hand out of his and stepped back a little.

"So I wasn't busy with you from the minute I woke up until the minute you fall asleep?" Raising his eyebrows he was still laughing. Professor McGonagall watched us smiling slightly, Dumbledore was amused. I exhaled loudly and couldn't suppress a laugh. "Well, no you weren't!" I stated but he only shook his head in amusement. Looking at Professor McGonagall he continued grinning.

"I would dare to say that she was the most pampered child in the world! But she was also very sweet. I don't know how she knew but she always knew when I had woken up. Therefore, she started babbling in her bed which grew louder in minutes." Remembering it, I started laughing and Severus turned to me grinning. "Yes, I remember." I said grinning wildly. "I did it so that you would come to me." I looked at Professor McGonagall, still smiling. "And he did. Always!" Then I laughed again and Professor McGonagall smiled looking at Severus and me. Severus and Dumbledore chuckled.

"So I did it every morning and every morning he would come and take me to his room where he laid me in his bed whilst he was in the bathroom. When I grew older I dressed myself and the minute he had woken up I walked to his room and sneaked in his bed."

"Aryanna wasn't able to do anything if I wasn't in the same room." Severus continued smiling. "But I think it's also my fault. I enjoyed her every minute. Together we would cook and go outside. She loved when I told her about Potions and healing. She wanted to learn everything I knew so I sort of taught her."

"So she knows everything about Potions and Herbology because of you?" Professor McGonagall asked him.

"Yes, she does!" He answered and sounded proud. I smiled looking at him and he returned it. "She was insatiable. She learned reading and from the date she carried always a book about Potions or Healing with her. When I made my paperwork she was either sitting under my desk and playing or reading. When she thought that I had had enough she climbed on my lap and tried to make me stop. Either she managed to do it or she fall asleep." He laughed again and now even Professor McGonagall chuckled. Then Severus' look got dark as he glanced at Dumbeldore.

"Then, one day, a letter arrived from Albus… Telling me that Arya had to leave – that she needed to grow up somewhere else. He wouldn't tell me where though. So I wrote letter after letter convincing him to give her more time with me."

"I gave you the maximum time but it was essential that she left you before she would grow to strong. The forgetting spell needed to work, for her and your sake." Dumbeldore explained sternly but Severus only stared at him angrily. I understood his anger, I hadn't been pleased about it too.

"So where did you took her?" Professor McGonagall asked, curiosity in her voice. There was silence as Severus stood there, still kind of fuming and I left speechless because I didn't know if I should tell her about Draco. She looked between the two of us, then watched Severus with raised eyebrows.

"Oh don't look at me Minerva! That's something I have no right to tell you about." Severus explained coldly. She looked taken aback by his tone.

"Severus." I said warningly, stepping forward. Angrily, he turned to me.

"I have every right to be angry, Aryanna!"

"I know." Trying to calm him down. "I was angry too but something good turned out of it."

"Something good?" He asked ironically. "I needed to erase your mind, or so I should have done. You grew up in that insane family because your dying mother told Albus you needed to! I don't see anything good in you being hurt!" I didn't need to listen to my magic to know that Severus was upset with a mix of emotions. His eyes showed me everything. I sighted and turned to Professor McGonagall again.

"I…" I felt uneasy speaking about the Malfoy's. That was something I never told anyone before. "He brought me to the Malfoy's." I saw as she took a step back, looking at Dumbledore in surprise. He only nodded at her and her mouth fell open.

"You… you lived with the Malfoy family because your mother wished it?" Horror struck her voice. I think she was talking to everyone but mostly to Dumbledore.

"It's not the time to reveal Leyanne's reasons of why she asked me to do it. But I can assure you that she always wanted Aryanna's best!" Dumbeldore assured her but Professor McGonagall didn't look the slightest comforted.

"Yes, I lived with the Malfoy's. And it wasn't that bad." Severus snorted in disagreement. "I mean Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy were enjoying the fact that I – the Dark Lord's daughter – was living in their house. They tried to educate me like they did with Draco. Well, you can say that I was completely disappointing them." I laughed heartlessly, Severus looked glum. "I had lots of lessons with Narcissa in 'how a lady should behave'. She tried to make another person out of me, just like Lucius. I was 'too soft and hearty'." I mocked Lucius jokingly. "So I learned how I should behave when I was in company, how I should eat, walk, talk and all this nonsense. Lucius tried to beat all the good out of me. I got punished for the slightest 'good things' I did, starting with my contact to the house elves. I can't remember a day on which I wasn't being punished for anything…"

"What did they do to punish you?" Professor McGonagall asked, her voice thick with horror. I managed to keep control over my emotions. For now, I had managed to keep Draco out of this. I still wasn't sure if I should tell her or not.

"They grounded me because they knew that I loved being outside. I always loved being outside but at that time it was even more because I could escape from them. They forbid me entering the library so they thought I wasn't able to read. To be honest, it was funny how they thought they could punish me." I said laughing. "Well, and then Dumbledore took me to the orphanage." My laugher had gone away in a second. "I hate it there." I said seriously, also staring at Dumbledore emotionless. He returned my stare with his blue eyes.

"It was necessary!" The calm in his voice raised my irritation.

"That's what you say to everything!" I spat coldly. Then there was a very uncomfortable silence in which Severus and I were glaring at Dumbledore. Professor McGonagall, however, seemed lost in thoughts. After a while she spoke up.

"How could your time with the Malfoy's be 'not that bad' if they were treating you badly all the time?" A cold chill run up my spine and I looked at her speechless, my mouth falling open. I had been dreading this question because I couldn't answer it without mentioning Draco. What if she knew about us? She is trustworthy! There was this feeling of trust in me. I think I could trust her. She wouldn't condemn me even if she didn't understand. I was snapped out of my thoughts as I felt Severus' hand on my shoulder. Suddenly, I felt myself relaxing under his soothing touch. I knew what I had to do.

"I want you to promise me, Professor, that you won't tell anybody!" I said determined. "Nobody can know!" I emphasized again and she nodded but that wasn't enough.

"No, I need you to tell me that you won't!"

"I promise, Ms. Jackson!" Her voice was stern but I knew she meant it. So I nodded slightly in return before I started, taking a deep breath.

"Draco Malfoy and I… we grew close like brother and sister. After short time, we knew each other better than anyone else did." Now she was listening quietly, her mouth slightly open giving away her surprise. "In the beginning, I thought he was – well – an idiot like you see him strutting around here. But he wasn't. He is a smart, funny and sensitive guy. Sadly, nobody knows except Blaise, Derek and I."

"Blaise like in Blaise Zabini, I guess. But who is Derek?" Professor McGonagall interrupted. I grinned thinking of him.

"Derek is the son of a death eater and a muggle. His muggle-father got killed by Voldemort as he found out and his mother died by hand of death eaters after she run away to protect Derek. Mrs. Zabini was a good friend of Derek's mother so she adopted him. But because his father had gone to Durmstrang and to protect Derek she wanted him to attend Durmstrang. So during the holidays he was at home with Blaise. I never met her but Mrs. Zabini seems to be very open about educating her children. She doesn't really care about Blaise or Zabini so they are free to do whatever they want. The four of us – Draco, Blaise, Derek, I – we became very close friends. We spent a lot of time together at Malfoy Manor. Draco has always been influenced by Blaise and Derek who had always been very kind. So Draco early learned to fool his parents by playing a typical Malfoy. Together, we did so much bullsh- sorry Professor," I laughed awkwardly as Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore were watching me warningly and I could hear a low chuckle from Severus. "We did so much nonsense together! That annoyed the Malfoy's pretty much! Lucius soon found out how to punish us seriously." My voice got darker at the thought of all the pain he had caused.

"First, he only separated us. That was the most harmless punishment. But then he got harder. He used the Cruciatus Curse on one of us whilst the other had to watch." Professor McGonagall threw one hand on her mouth in shock and gasped loudly. "One day – Draco and I were playing in the gardens with a young cat we had found – Lucius showed up very angry. We had completely forgotten about dinner time. Draco tried to tell him that it was his fault but he believed that it was mine because I was the one who had a strong bond with animals. So he pushed him aside and…" I gulped, remembering the horrifying scene. "He used the Cruciatus Curse on the cat. Draco tried to stop him but he couldn't. I got angry and used my magic for the first time against a person. I wasn't strong back then so I only burned his arm a little but that was enough to make him furious. In a second he had the cat killed." I stopped and lowered my head. Severus squeezed my shoulder slightly but it didn't help much. I forced myself not to start crying.

"I'm sorry for what happened, Ms. Jackson." The sympathy was true in her voice and I heard her robes as she took a step forward. So I looked up. "But I have another question." I nodded for her to go on. "Why do you treat Mr. Malfoy so badly if he is like a brother to you?" Now, I regretted letting her ask the question. Feeling uncomfortable, I took a step back.

"Good question, Minerva." That made me turn with a dark look towards Severus. He only raised one eyebrow what annoyed me even more. "What?" He exclaimed. "You always seem to avoid this question."

"Yes, because I have a reason!" I stated angrily.

"But your reason isn't really logical, Arya." In annoyance I exhaled out loudly.

"We've discussed this already! And to answer your question Professor, I need to protect Draco. My father will come back one day and if he finds out about Draco he will be right in the firing line."

My voice had become louder than I had wanted to so I bit my lip and watched at the wall behind Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore.

"One last question. Why did I had the feeling that you hated Severus last year?" She asked and I felt Severus moving next to me. Protecting, he took a step forward so that he stood a little in front of me. Astonished, Professor McGonagall looked up at him. His hands were entangled behind his back strongly, I saw his knuckles turning white. His face was blank but his shoulders showed his tension. In a low voice he started speaking.

"It's my fault! Albus wanted me to erase her mind when I brought her to him but it didn't work. She remembered everything but thought that I hadn't wanted her anymore." The self-loathing in his voice made me shiver. Also Professor McGonagall noticed it. "I don't think you're to blame, Severus." She tried to calm him down gently but he stayed tense. I stepped in front of him and raised my head to look him in the eyes. He had his gaze fixed on the wall. Gently, I put my small hands on either side of his face. That seemed to snap him out of his thoughts and he looked me deeply in the eyes. "It's not your fault, Severus!" I whispered and I could see the fight of emotions in his eyes. We stayed like this for a moment. Suddenly, I saw kind of a snap in his eyes and he put his arms around me. "Forgive me." He whispered in my hair and I only hugged him tighter.

"Well, I think I know enough now." I could literally hear the smile in Professor McGonagall's voice. We parted and I looked up in hope that Severus would smile again but he wasn't. Instead, he was watching me sternly. Something was still bothering him.

"Arya, remember when you told me that you would tell me about the orphanage?" His voice was determined and I knew he wouldn't give in letting me leave. I gulped and looked away.

"Severus, I-" He cut me off before I could start an excuse.

"No! Aryanna I won't let you leave from here until you've told me what's going on!" I really wouldn't be able to so I sighted surrendering. My voice was quiet as I spoke. The three of them were watching me closely. "Well, there's this cat, Nala. She's my only friend there so I spend my whole day with her. At night I'm sneaking her inside to my room..."

"So?" Severus asked as I stopped.

"There's also this doctor. He's responsible for the children of the orphanage. So he comes regularly – to me normally twice, sometimes more, during the summer holidays – to check on us. He's very rude verbally and physically." Severus' jaw tensed and his eyes pinched together. "No child from there has somebody to talk to but as I'm leaving the orphanage regularly he threatens me."

"What does he want from you?" Severus asked furious. Helpless, I gazed at him. He must have seen it because his glance softened. "Severus, you need to promise me not to freak out." In a split second, the softness had been replaced by anger again. "You want me to stay calm if somebody hurts you?" The hardness in his voice made me flinch but I didn't give in.

"Severus, if you go and face him he'll kill her!" I whimpered tears filling my eyes now. "If he knows that I've been telling somebody he's going to kill Nala!" My voice broke and I started sobbing. Then I felt his strong arms pulling me against his body. He embraced me whilst stroking my hair soothingly. His body was still tense and radiating anger but, nevertheless, it was comforting. I couldn't stop crying thinking of Nala, the Malfoy's and all the pain I had experienced in my short life.

"He will never hurt you again and-" He told me as he pushed me back a little to look me in the eyes. As I made attempts to interrupt him he continued quickly. "And I promise that Nala won't happen anything! I swear on my love for Leyanne!" I knew he was telling the truth so I was left speechless, not knowing what to say anymore. I started crying again so he pushed me gently to a chair and sat down. Pulling me on his lap he hugged me warmly. I didn't know how long we remained like this but when I looked up Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore were gone.