I'M QUITTING

He laid on his bed, staring aimlessly at the ceiling. Lost in thought, a lot causing chaos in his mind. Why did he do it? Why didn't he listen when she pleaded with him to let her go. Every night he's been haunted by her dreams, he kept seeing her face and it was already making him go insane. Each time and each day he was reminded he's the cause of her death.

Chris stared at the ceiling, the memories of the accident blurring his vision, he couldn't think straight, he was always reminded of her as her face flash in his head. The guilt was still eating him up, he was the reason Fortune lost her sister. The reason her parents lost their daughter, will he ever forgive himself for that?

He smiled when he remembered the first she was here, the first time she ever been to his house. He didn't know what prompted him to bring her here but he never regretted that decision. Adam, his manager and Dj Miko are the ones always in his house. Fiona sometimes drops by but she hardly comes to his house but he wondered why he brought her home himself. He's just the type who likes having his own space even as a celebrity he dislikes congregations.

That's why after performing on stage, he would want to go out immediately, he doesn't have the time and energy to start shaking fans hands or signing autographs. He just loves his own space, sometimes you know being popular sucks. But he brought her home, he didn't why but still he did it. His mind also trailed to the kiss he shared with her, I mean girls are the ones who normally throw themselves at him and they are usually the first to ignite a kiss but he kissed her first.

His smile broadened as he touch his lips with two of his fingers, it's been long he kissed her but that kiss still lingered in his brain. It has been his desire to do so, to kiss that lips of hers. To know what they taste of and he was right, her lips taste good. He lied when he told her he wanted to shut her up...truth was that he really wanted to kiss her. He isn't in love with her but he never regretted his kiss with her. The first time he touched her lips with his.... 𝑶𝒉 𝑮𝒐𝒅 , 𝒘𝒉𝒚 𝒊𝒔 𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒙𝒂𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒔? 𝑰𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒂 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒔, 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒓. 𝑯𝒆 𝒊𝒔𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒂𝒑𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏. 𝑯𝒆'𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒉𝒖𝒕 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏. He stroked his lower lip gently absentmindedly, lost in her thought, he was deep in thought even he noticed his sitting door's bell ringing. He was brought back to reality, he climbed down his bed and descended downstairs to the sitting room. He wondered who's disturbing him at this time of the afternoon, he wants to be left alone and grief in silence at his stupidity. He was midway on the stairs when his eyes mistakenly landed on the piano.

He remembered the day she sat there with him, playing and singing along with each other. He could still see her illusion sitting there. He completely zoned out, forgetting someone's on the door. He made his way to the piano, he sat down on the bench and placed his hands on it, his fingers gently grazing the keyboard and creating a tune. Whoever that was knocking on the door noticed the piano keyboard tune and rang the bell the second time.

He was jerked back to reality at the second ring, he walked to his door and opened it. His friend Adam stood there.

"Dude what took you so long?" Adam complained as he walked in. "I was waiting patiently for you to open the door instead you're playing the piano?"

"Sorry I completely forgot." Chris raked his hands on his dishevelled dread hair.

"You forgot?" Adam kept nagging like a lady. "I'm afraid one day you gonna develop dementia, you keep forgetting things. And tell me also, I told you we are going to your gym to work out, did you forget that too?"

"Ahhh….. right, it completely slipped my mind." Chris rubbed his eyes in tired manner, yawning too. "That's today?"

"Dude?" Adam took some few steps towards him when he noticed the smell oozing out of his body. He twisted his face in disgusted manner and moved a little away from him. "Dude when is the last time you showered?"

"Two days ago…..…."

"Two days ago?" Adam screamed at him like he was his mother. "Do you know the odour coming out of your body? What would your fans think of you if you mistakenly walk out of your house to do something? They will make fun of you and it will give your haters the upper hand."

"Look, did you come to see me or to lecture me on my body?" Chris glared at him. "Everyone can think whatever he or she wants, I don't give a fuck. No one is a saint here."

"I know but you should have taken a bathe." He squeezed his right shoulder gently. "I'm your friend, man and I care about you. You're begining to loose your sanity and it's not good. You have locked yourself in here for two weeks now, you switched off your phone. You distanced yourself from people. Do you know how worried your manager is including the music company you work for? They are all worried about you."

"You shouldn't live this way, it isn't your fault Jane died. I told you everything happened for a reason and you can't question fate so my dear friend don't be too hard on yourself to the extent of not taking your bathe. And look at you, you're growing skinner day by day." Adam roamed his eyes all over his physique.

"Are you done with your pep talk, you can now leave." He gestured towards the door and turned away from him, ascending the stairs to his room.

"Seriously?" Adam stared at his back with his mouth ajar. "Is that how to treat a friend who cares for your well being?"

Chris ignored his ranting and walked into his bedroom, Adam followed suit.

"Ohh my sweet Jesus….." Adam widened his eyes, eyes bulging out of their pupils at how messy his room was. His bed sheets spread out of the bed, his pillows in different angels. Clothes littered everything. One will take his room as one for a psycho person. "What the fuck is going on here, dude? I never knew you as the dirty or lazy type. Why is your room in such a mess, it looks like a dump. When was the last time you cleaned up your room?"

"This is my room and I have the right to treat it the way I want." He replied rudely.

"Dude, what has come over you?" Adam sat on his bed, gazing at him. "Why are you tackling me on every of my questions, I'm just worried about you. I don't know why you are pissed off."

"I'm just tired of everything." He raked his hands on his hair. "I'm fed with life, I don't wanna live anymore. Why is life cruel?"

"I feel you but don't be hard on yourself. Things will go back to normal, just a matter of time."

"But it won't bring back the people I cared about. It won't bring back the ones I loved."

"Dude first of all go wash yourself up, you look like a mess. Come on, go on, I will tidy up your room." Chris looked at him for some minutes before he reluctantly made his way to the bathroom.

Adam got to work the moment he went into the bathroom, he picked up the littered clothes and put them in the laundry basket, then he folded some of his clothes in the closet neatly. Dressed his bed and arranged other things in the room neatly and in their various positions. He shifted the curtains aside to let the light and air in. After he was done, he slumped on the bed with a loud thud. 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒘𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒊𝒎, 𝑪𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔 𝒉𝒆 𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒘 𝒊𝒔𝒏'𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒂𝒚. 𝒀𝒆𝒂𝒉 𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒊𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒅𝒊𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒔𝒏'𝒕 𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒘. 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝑱𝒂𝒏𝒆'𝒔 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒆 𝒌𝒆𝒑𝒕 𝒅𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒊𝒎𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒏𝒐 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒓. 𝑨𝒍𝒍 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕, 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒊𝒅 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒅 𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒅𝒎𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕.

Chris walked out the bathroom, tying a towel on his waist, little water dripping from his head to his ody, making his body eye catching. "Good, how do you feel now you showered?" Adam curved his lips into a smirk.

He glared at him as he went to his closet to bring out a yellow polo and shorts. "Why are you acting like my Mom today?"

"Hahaha." Adam laughed, sitting up. "Oh my, thanks for the compliment and I know if you don't shower. You will stink." Chris put on his clothes and laid back on the bed.

"What are you doing?" Adam tried to drag him up. "I told you we need to go to your gym, come on."

Chris snatched his hand from him. "Let me go, I'm not in the mood to go out so please let me go. I want to be left alone. Please…"

"What's wrong with you?" Adam scolded. "Why are you doing this and what about your music career, it's been long you sang. Your fans are waiting for you and you're here wallowing in self pity. Even if you lock yourself from today till the day the world ends. Jane won't come back, she's gone and gone for good."

Chris closed his eyes as his words sank deep in him. No matter how much they are hurting him and how much he refused to believe that. He has to admit she's gone.

"So dude, get up and start your life afresh, go out there and be that Chris everyone know. Jane won't be happy wherever she is at what you're doing now."

"I'm quitting everything." Chris voiced out, not opening his eyes. "I'm quitting."

"Wait what?"