Chapter 547: No Fault

It had been days, and Mina's nightmares were getting worse. Two nights before, her dream affected her so greatly that she became physically ill and spilled the little contents that were in her stomach. Ian did not know how to help, but he felt the need to try something. He had spoken to Jeremy, and the man told him that Mina was likely exhausted.

Unfortunately for Mina, sleep was the problem and the solution. Ian wheeled her into his study and helped her sit in the armchair he used to read when he did not feel like sitting behind his desk. He waited for her to make herself comfortable before he spoke.

"You need to talk about it." Ian kept his voice soft, but his tone was final. He was ordering her to tell him what the problem was. Every night that she woke up screaming was another night he woke up panicked, and it was starting to take its toll on him as well. He was terrified of leaving her alone, and Ellie was busy taking her mother back and forth to doctor appointments, which left her and his nan unable to help.

"It's all my fault," She sobbed. Ian remained silent because Mina's words were confusing to him; he needed her to clarify. "Ren… I think I made him-" Mina shook her head, clearly ashamed of whatever it was she was trying to say.

"What happened?" Ian lifted her chin so she could look him in the eye, surprised she did not pull away or resist his touch. "Tell me," he demanded, half afraid to hear the answer. Ian would not hesitate to kill Ren Loam if the man had hurt Mina physically, but he needed to be certain.

"I think I made myself an option." Mina panted out the words as if they were the most difficult that she had said, while Ian sighed in relief. "I kept using myself as an example, but I didn't know," she stated in a pained tone.

"Mina, you are reading too much into Dom's warning. How old were you then? Thirteen? Fourteen? How old was he? You should never have been an 'option' even if you made yourself one." Mina seemed not to have heard.

"I gave them the money, so why would they do that to me?" She was speaking as if he could read her thoughts.

"You'll have to tell me who they are, and what they did."

"Ren told me… He said that Sadie and Troy… sent him to me." Mina retched because she remembered that night clearly. Ren had come knocking at her bedroom window, and she innocently let him in the front door. He had been trying to convince her to forgive Sadie, but while speaking, he touched her in a way that she had seen between couples and she jerked away, remembering her mother's warnings.

After that night, Ren never returned, and Mina, having already given Sadie money, believed that it was just a matter of days before she would never see either person again, but she was wrong. Her parents were gone for the day, and Mina came home from work to find Ren beating Troy, and almost ready to turn on Sadie. She was able to pull him away and in a moment of calm he asked her how she could forgive so easily. Mina assumed he meant their plan to run away, and it was not until she was locked in Miss Lisa's office that she found out the 'truth,' and it hurt to think that people she loved and trusted would do that to her.

"Mina, do you think Sadie would have done that to you?" When she shrugged, Ian knew she was not thinking clearly. He learned from Doctor Sancho that Sadie was overprotective of Mina in a way that was cause for concern. "Fine, then after he drove her off a bridge; what fueled him then?" Mina wiped at her face, finding comforting logic behind President Lee's words, even though they hurt to hear. "He is trying to use your naivety against you. What else did he tell you?"

"He said that he wished he had noticed me first." President Lee made a noise that Mina had to search his face to understand. It was like a mix between a snigger and a snort.

"Which means, he never saw you as an option back then. He is only saying that now to justify stalking and harassing a little girl." Ian paused as his anger was threatening to seep out, but some of it leaked into his speech. "Why are you more guilty than a man who has a duplicate version of you as a teenager?" The question snapped Mina into reality, and she heaved. President Lee helped her into the restroom, waiting as she once again spilled what was in her stomach.

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Mina did not and could not go back to sleep, so she stayed in President Lee's study reading one of the titles she had admired the first time she had come into the office. She normally would have been thrilled by it, but she was only using it to distract her from her memories, which was not working. She could not bear to think that her sister had sent Ren to her with bad intentions, but as much as she hated to admit it, she was uncertain.

Mina remembered when her adoptive cousin Lennard accidentally found out that Sadie was sexually active, and while he did not tell their parents, he became depressed. Wanting to placate him, Mina made his favorite meal for dinner. She could recall Lennard watching her move around the kitchen, and the uncomfortable feeling it gave her, but back then, she pushed it aside because Lennard was like everyone else, he liked Sadie.

Naturally, when Lennard mentioned marriage, Mina spouted off her dream wedding, and of course, the number of children she wanted. It was the same thing she would have told anyone who asked, but Lennard had clearly misinterpreted her openness, because he started to visit her more. It felt good to Mina, having someone praise her without reason, and so she accepted them as harmless reminders of the truth. She was 'going to be a good wife,' and she was 'going to be a good mother.'

It was nice to Mina; to have someone say those things to her, rather to hear her own voice chanting it inside of her head. Sadie had confronted her about her intentions with Lennard, but Mina had none, and she was shocked when Lennard told her that he wanted to marry her. Mina would never forget Sadie's suggestion; it was what made Ren's accusation seem so plausible.

"What is going on in that head of yours?" Mina's eyes snapped up to see Willow; she stood up, but was still unable to walk. Willow came to her side and pulled her into a tight hug. "You look tired." Mina did not know how she looked, she had not even bothered to shower properly, and only brushed her teeth to wash away the taste of bile. "President Lee tells me that you aren't sleeping." Mina nodded but could not speak because she was afraid to cry. "Is it because you are here?"

"It's because I can't forget." Willow knew that pain all too well. It was something that she dealt with and was still dealing with.

"You know, after I told you and Ash everything the dreams became less vivid. They still happen, but they don't hurt as much."

So there Mina sat, telling Willow everything that had happened between herself and Ren, leaving out no detail no matter how hard it was for her to recall. Willow was patient, and when Mina could speak no more, she did not pry.

"I guess even geniuses can be stupid fourteen-year-old girls." Mina giggled for the first time in days. "Listen, we both made mistakes we cannot change. In my case, I quite literally asked for it, but you hold no fault. That man was sick from the beginning. You did nothing wrong."