Chapter 5 {Y/N}

This is the position I never imagine myself to be in.

Arms pinned back, head pushed down to face the ground, kneeling before that man. The bitterness almost feels like a betrayal. Awhile ago they were treating me as if we were a group. Yet I suppose they must be seeing the situation on the exact opposite side of the coin. Turns out their new comrade is but a disguise of a girl, presumably the spy that no doubt the blond girl must be believing.

How naive of me to think I could just pass in as one of them and sweep out just as easily.

"Let go of me!" I cry out and struggle.

I suck in a sharp breath when my captor binds me tighter. "Be quiet!"

"I knew it! I suspect you all along." Soon the blonde girl comes to the scene. "You've got some guts to sneak in here and spy on us, little girl. Who do you work for?" She turns and speaks much more softly, "Should we finish her now, Shinsuke-sama?"

"I'm not a spy," I grit out, and look to that man. "I told you as much."

He's standing before us all, his face somehow relaxed. In his hand holds a kiseru, the other nestled within his clothes. "You told me you came to join me," he says, gazing down to me. Again looking at him feels as if something is pulling in my chest. I don't respond, neither does he to that girl.

"Matako-san, you shouldn't be taking hasty actions," the voice of the man with the hat says somewhere behind me. "If she is a spy, then she might prove useful for us on one perspective."

Takasugi turns away and goes back to where he was standing just now at the forecastle. I stare after him in confusion, and seeing how he's so nonchalant about this, confusion slowly becomes hurt.

"Takechi-senpai, you're the one who let this wretch come here in the first place," the girl says near me.

"Take her to the cell," Takechi orders instead.

"Yes, sir. Get up." My captor pulls me to my feet. Because of the pain of my wound, I comply without further resistance, though my mind is screaming with what they will do to me next. I catch a last glimpse of that man standing alone at the forecastle before my captor drags me back into the ship.

He leads me into some dark corridors and eventually down to wherever the cell is. We descend a short set of stairs and reach the basement. The place is only lit by a waning light bulb in the middle of the room. A few cells adjoin each other and line the blackened wall. It smelled of dampness and abandon.

Dread suddenly courses through me. What if I'm thrown down here and forgotten? That man doesn't seem to see me as a threat and I do not process any usefulness Takechi spoke of.

My captor shoves me into one of the cells before taking the key from the door. A click echoes the empty room as he locks the cell. "Behave yourself," he says.

"How long do they intend to keep me there? I have no part in being a spy." I cling my left arm and feel it slick with blood.

The man already walks away. "Who knows." And he disappears up the stairs.

I sag down to the dirty floor, warily looking around the cell. Cobwebs stretch from one corner to another and I hear a squeak dangerously resembling a rat somewhere at the end of the room. The light bulb seems to give out anytime soon.

I curl up into a ball and try not to weep.

What have I done...

~~~~~~~~

Miserable is how I spend the next countless hours. The room does not provide a porthole and I long but lost track of time. My arm throbs from the reopened wound, more blood has been dried on the my burrowed clothes. My top priority at the moment is a bath and fresh set of clothes. It seems like the only good thing about this circumstance is that I haven't felt the ship ascending into the air, though I can't guarantee if it hasn't move from the port by the sea.

Putting aside escaping the ship, I have been trying to formulate some kind of plan to get out of this cage first. But perhaps being in a dim prison cell alone for long has done some damages to my head. For all my might, I cannot rid of the image of that man from my mind. His gaze seems to follow up to every thought that surfaces, washing them in that certain shadow of sorrow that renders my chest tight.

Sometime later I hear footsteps on top of the stairs. Maybe they've decided to take care of me now. Yet no one is coming to kill me. All I see is a man appearing down the steps, carrying a tray of food.

When he unlocks the cell I calculate my success by barging out like this, which isn't that favorable. My body is worn out. "Here." He sets the tray on the floor. The meal is steaming despite for a prisoner. I wonder if the chef is going against some orders by making me that.

When I speak, my voice comes out croaking. "Can I go-?"

"You're not doing anywhere," the man says before I can even ask. The lock at the cell door clicks in again.

"Even to the bathroom?"

He said after a pause, "I will take you there."

I glare at him, not knowing if he sees or not. He simply leaves without another word. My glare shifts to the meal. For the first time I spot the glass of water sitting with the rest of the dishes. I go to retrieve the tray.

The meal consists of a bowl of miso soup, a small dried fish and rice. A handsome glass of clean water is placed at the corner, the only breakable thing among the wares. They say I'm a spy yet somehow treat me like a harmless girl, which I pretty much appreciate. They will know I am perfectly harmless. Smiling, I start to enjoy my hot meal.

I hope I don't mess up again.

~~~~~~~~

I wait and wait and wait again for someone to come and take the dishes. When nobody comes anytime soon I start to pace the small space, restless. After a long time, hearing again the sound of steps is like hope blooming.

I move to where I left the tray. Picking it up, I take out the empty glass and let it go. The glass shatters into shreds, the room making the sound sharper and louder. Quickly, I take one shard and keep it carefully in my chest pocket before standing up in time when someone comes.

"What was that sound?" the man asks, coming to my cell. He's not the same guy from earlier, being smaller and leaner but nevertheless challenging.

When he sees the mess inside, I say guiltily, "I was trying to carry this to the door but then it fell because of my arm." His eyes go to my bloodied shirt. "Can I go to the bathroom?"

I expect him to refuse because he doesn't open the door. But then as if he changes his mind on not wanting to have a mess in here, he proceeds to unlock the cell. When it's opened, he steps in with a hand at the hilt of his blade. He indicates to the tray I'm holding. "Put that down."

I do as told. Then I head toward the door. Seeing as he clearly is still wary, I walk with both of my hands out for him to see. Thankfully he does not search my body. It would be scandalous not only because of my gender if he does.

The man takes me to the stairs and up the dark corridor, walking behind me. I no longer stick my hands out and the other crew members eye me with something deadly. I almost expect to encounter that man along the way, but my wish goes unanswered when we reach the bathroom. The door is closed but the stench still gets past. I wrinkle my nose in distaste.

"Hurry up and go," the man urges behind me. I raise a hand to the door handle while the other reach for the broken shard. Then I whip around and throw the shard behind the man. On impulse he also whirls around to see and I seize that chance to kick him hard between his legs.

The man drops to the floor with a grunt so low I'm certain nobody has heard it. I bolt from the bathroom.

There isn't a single man patrolling where I'm running to. I keep spring forward, careless if my footsteps thunder throughout the entire ship, as I try to remember the time I navigated the way. I take an abrupt turn to the left, believing it leads to the deck. I don't care if the others are there. I'm going to find out where am I first.

Almost there... Someone emerges from a corridor ahead of me. I freeze on my track just as Matako realizes that it's me. "You!" she yells. "What are you doing out here!" I back away, breathing hard.

Before I can turn around, the girl takes out her gun and pulls the trigger.