Chapter 8 {Y/N}

Two days passes in a blur of restless pain and sleepless nights. No one has visited me since that day of my conversation with that man, though there are the occasional coming and going of those who bring me food, once a day. My chest only hurts more with the passing days, rendering my whole body sore.

I spend the more of the hours laying down, sometimes gazing at the window while most of the time staring at the door and spacing out. Before I know it, I have been reminiscing the words I exchanged with that man too many times that I wish to just stumble to his room and stay close to him again. Even if he is like a thorn that pricks at my approach. Somehow being here no longer scares me.

It's morning now, the sun shining from the east straight through my window. Golden light covers the blanket draped over my body, almost too bright for my eyes. Beyond, the blue sky clears. I've given up trying to know my whereabouts. Asking those who bring me meals only earn me a silent glare or a flat "You don't have to know." I'm starting to wonder why would they bother with the food at all if they still believe I'm some spy.

I sigh and brush the thought away. Just as I'm about to sit up, someone comes at the other side of the door.

"You awake?"

My heart instantly bristles at the voice. I put a hand over my chest, trying to quiet it, because even the irregular beat of my heart seems to hurt. "Yes. I am," I reply.

A breath later, the door slides open. Standing at the corridor is the man that haunts my lonely nights. He steps inside and doesn't close the door, remaining where he stood last time leaning against the wall. A dark coat with curvy patterns hugs his shoulders. "You seem rather comfortable sleeping in a rebel's ship," he comments.

I feel my face getting hot at him seeing my current position. My thoughts swirl at his unannounced presence. "Apparently, no. My wound hurts too much to rest," I manage say, rather honestly. "Would you umm...help me get up?"

His gaze meets mine, and once again I feel the pull between us. Of course I don't expect that he will. My wretched heart is simply seeking for an excuse for him to come closer. It does not need the distance he puts between us. I look away.

I attempt to get up on my own. Gladly, my left arm has healed, enabling me to press some force into it. I get up on my elbow, wincing at the pain, but also feeling embarrassed that he has to witness the act. Then I hear a shuffle as he appears before me and supports me upright with a hand to my back. I forget to breathe. My skin tingles where his hand touches the back of my chest. I stare wide-eyed at the closeness we share for that moment.

Then he withdraws back, the absent of his touch snapping me back to focus. But this time I do not look away. I behold his features, from the cold olive-green of his eye down to his lips. His face holds no sentiment, as if he's carved out from stone. Suddenly my chest becomes painful. But it doesn't result from the wound.

"Can you walk?" he asks me, standing back up.

I nod, breathless.

"Good. We're going out for a mission."

At that I look up, puzzled. "We?"

~~~~~~~~

If I have predicted anything, it is not this.

By this, I mean walking on the hallway behind him, dressed in the same white yukata with an addition of a straw-hat tied to my chin. Some of the crew we pass cast me incredulous looks which I return with something equal to that. Before they want an explanation I want to know what that man is scheming.

I stare at his back as we walk. Soon we exit the ship and out to the open sky. I look around as if I've never seen land. We're at a port, though it's clear that it's not Edo's harbor, being smaller and less packed with cargo boats. Dumbfounded at the sudden arrival, I can only trail behind that man with thoughts swimming over my head.

We head into the city square. The town is not much different from Edo. The folks go about the road and buildings stretch high on either side. I search for anything that can tell me where this place is. A bellowing banner on top of a building takes my interest. Newest Hotel in Nagoya, I read, not that surprised. For a couple days and I've already drifted several prefectures from home. Not to say my parents, even Kagura-chan seems so far away.

I try not to fidget with my hat, reassuring myself that no one is sparing us a glance longer. My eyes rake through the surrounding all the while keeping up with that man's fast strides. He seems completely nonchalant about the activities all around. And seeing him walking, a straw-hat shielding his face, a hazy memory takes shape at the back of my mind.

I wave it off when he takes a turn into an alley. My heart is still drumming. Of all his trusted men, he chooses me to come with him. I don't know what to make of it, but I'm sure more than anything it cannot be that he trusts me. It's also ridiculous to get hurt by what you just thought of.

He keeps moving, heedless of the girl half struggling to catch up with him. Being out under the sun, my skin feels sticky with perspiration. When he finally slows down, I'm already a little breathless. Taking in pained breaths, I regard where we're now at.

The road is less crowded here. There is barely any passersby actually. Ahead is an empty piece of land walled with razor wires that has been left after what seems like a fire. There are leftovers abandoned in the territory, scorched debris and concrete of a former building. That man turns to the right to where the property is and stops before a huge vaulted structure next to it. I glance inside through the large entrance.

It appears to be a storeroom. Rows of shelves line the length of the building. Within each shelf holds different mechanical parts that look half frightening. The smell of rust from the inside makes my stomach turn. I step away from the entrance.

That man turns to me, his gaze hard as steel. "Stay here and guard," he says. I stare after him, wanting to ask what exactly I am suppose to guard, but he already vanishes into the building.

Did he really take me with him to let me, a girl who's still healing from a bullet and with absolutely zero practice in battle, to stand guard? I sigh, incredulous, and move to lean against a lamppost nearby.

I'm not certain how much time has passed. I just know that the sun seems to be scorching, something that might result from my frailer body because of the injury. The hat helps shadow my face but doesn't do much about the heat. I wipe the sweat away for the fourth time, looking around for anything that might distract me for the time being.

About two streets away, I see a man walking. I turn away. Then at the corner of my eye, I feel like the man's stopped moving and seems to be looking straight at me. I pretend to be looking around the place, and turn to the other side to see if there's anyone the man might be watching. The street ends with just a few blocks more ahead and there isn't anyone around.

Tensing, I steal another glance at the man. He seems to be speaking with someone that I can't see. Then I realize with a jolt that it's not just someone. A group of more men emerges from the other road, joining the man. I stay a minute longer just as they approach nearer, and I become sure when I see they all have their hands at the hilt of their blades.

Dread pounding in my chest, I quickly head into the building. I shut my breath against the rusting scent all the while trying to find where that man is. The storeroom is dark and quiet. I go further in and find a staircase located at an alcove. Light illuminates space below. I rush down the stairs.

A few electric lights brighten the basement, lighting up the stacks of wooden chests that were piled up on one another. I see that man next, standing near another figure with attires that remind me of a high-ranked official. They both turn when I reach ground, clutching my chest. The official looks alarmed at my suddenly intrusion.

"Shinsuke," I say, realizing late that I subconsciously use his name. But now's not the time. "A couple of men seem to be heading this way."

Right after I speak, the stairs thunder with steps. And the silence of the room quickly springs into chaos.

I throw myself out of the way just as a few guys lunge at Shinsuke and the official. Shinsuke draws his sword in a flash and stabs the first opponent. The official screams when his attacker slits his throat. His body falls to the ground, blood pooling. I stare in horror in the shadow of the staircase, frozen.

A few more men fly down the stairs. They charge at the rebel, who dispatches one opponent after another. Blood splashes from the unknown attackers onto my clothes. That man easily slaughters them all, until the only sound is my own breaths. I swallow and don't dare myself to look at the floor. I keep my eyes on the only man standing. He flicks his blade off the blood. Then the blade of his gaze pierces me in place.

Shinsuke comes to where I'm standing. The wall barely manages to support me.

"There's the Shinsengumi. Now I brought you here, and the Crows show up." He stands in front of me. Then he raises the blade to my neck. "And you say you're not a spy?"

I can only stare. Speech fails me. When I can get over the bloody gore around the room, his words slowly sink into my head. I look at the sword beneath my chin. Then terror twists into boiling rage.

"You brought me here," I rasp, "to test me?" I look at him, anger searing my throat. So this is what it was about. Of course he doesn't trust me. Of course it never meant anything. Hurt crawls up my neck next.

I grab the blade with my bare hand. The tip grazes over my skin. "Then kill me," I mutter. "If you believe so, then what are you waiting for? Finish me now." Blood trickles down my hand and my throat.

He glares at me with that cold dead eye. But he doesn't move. My chest heaves with enormous pain. Tears slide down the corner of my eye. I let go of the blade, and breathe deeply before speaking again. "No matter what you and the others believe, I am not anyone's underling, and will never be."

There's a slightest movement of the blade. Then soon he lowers it down. "Then leave." He sheathes the sword.

The words hit like needles. "No." I untie the strings of my hat and throw it to the ground. Damn hiding. "I boarded your ship in Edo. And if I leave, I expect it to be at the same place."

I storm back to the ship.