Chapter 10 {Y/N}

I jerk awake for what seems to be the fourth time.

Something drops beside me. I relax when I see it's just the book that I have been reading. Picking it up, I try to remember what page I was on awhile ago, but the memory that surfaces in my head is of a bloody ground and a familiar figure from a dream. I slam the book shut and put it aside.

I breathe in deeply and lean back against. The room now has the deep smell of books. It's dark, I sit by the window using moonlight to read. But the moment I start to my thoughts begin to swim over my head. I've been having a real difficulty sleeping during the recent nights. Especially after receiving the gift dreams are mercilessly preying on my subconscious and eventually have me bolted right up from bed. My chest throbbed more than the last few days. When that man was still here.

I raise a hand to my face, and am surprised to find it wet. My body is acting strange lately. I look out the window. The moon cast a cold light into the room. Stars are no longer visible at this place. The ship has stopped moving some days ago. Though I'm not entirely certain where we are now, I just know that it's somewhere that's kind of remote. The crews hadn't chosen to dock at a proper harbor.

Shuffles sound from outside. Light of the hallway shone against the screen door. I notice that there are no more silhouettes guarding outside. Maybe they've grown weary it. I haven't been out of the room for most the of time now that the books do a great job at removing my boredom.

I see several men pass through. Murmurs drift into the room. Can't help myself, I silently make my way to the door and lean on the wall next to it to listen. Someone is speaking not far from my room, their voices understandable from this distance.

"I wonder if the mission succeeded," someone mutters.

"I hope so," another one says. "But the commander's injury is pretty severe." I freeze.

"He'll come out it, don't worry."

"If only we were there to help him. Damn it!" He punches the wall suddenly, causing me to jump. They speak something more but I don't hear it.

I stare at the door, their words sinking in. Why hadn't anyone say something about it earlier? I throw the door aside.

The men outside startle, turning to me.

"Is he all right?" I demand of them. "Where is he now?"

Their surprise quickly turns to disdain. "That's none of your concern, girl."

I linger for a pause. Then barge out of the room. A cry tears through my throat when they yank me back. "You're not going anywhere near the commander."

I quit struggling and relent. They attempt shove me back into the room. I can barely speak over the pain. "Please, I just want to know if he's okay."

"Behave yourself!" One of them tries to shut the door in my face but I use my body to block it. No matter what they do to me I will see him.

"What's the commotion?" says a voice from outside.

The men instantly back away. "Takechi-sama. This girl seems to be a problem."

I stumble out just as Takechi comes into view. "Please, take me to where the commander is," I rasp, one hand clutching my chest.

Takechi dismisses the other two before coming to tower over me. "What do you want from Shinsuke-dono?"

I hiss out a breath. "I don't want anything from him. I just need to see him."

He considers me for a moment as if weighing how much likely can I pose as a threat. "Come with me."

~~~~~~~

I don't know how many turns we take before we come upon a room. Its door metal. Takechi presses the control box at the side and enters the room. I trail behind.

Coolness brushes across my face as the door shuts behind us. Takechi stops at the center of the room. I swallow, and move aside.

It's like a mirror shattering.

I gasp at the sight before me, feeling, hearing, my heart breaking into pieces. Tears blur the image of him lying still on a bed. So still that I want to march over and shake him awake. So still that he could not even breathe on his own if not for the medical devices beside the bed. The only movement is the mechanical rise and fall of his chest, which have been bandaged over.

I want to go closer, but my legs will not budge. It's as if the hands of despair have their grip tightly around my body. I cover my mouth attempting to shut away cracking sound of my heart. The silence stretches on with hateful repeated noise of the devices.

I sniff, attempting to wipe my face. "How did things come to this?" I whisper.

Takechi makes the first sound as he steps forward. "He has always been ruthless in battles," is all he allows.

"Will he be all right?" I turn to Takechi. He stares at Shinsuke, a withdrawn expression on his face.

"I'm sure he will be," he says. "He attained severe wounds but the doctor can deal with that. Though, apparently, he lost too much blood and is in need of a donor."

"Has anyone been found?"

"I'm not certain. They're in the process of searching now. Wait, where are you going?"

I march out of the room straight to the infirmary. There I slam the door open and see a about a dozen of members crowding the room. Noticing as the absence of that man's closer subordinates I can only guess that they're incompatible.

"Test me first," I say to the doctor who's about to operate one to a man sitting. "Please." The doctor hold my gaze a second longer and nods.

I close the door and head to where he is by a table at a corner. The man seated the chair before him doesn't seem to want to budge at the sight of me. But a look from the doctor sends them backing away.

I sit down on the chair and put an arm on the table. The doctor takes a cotton from a box nearby and gently wipe a spot on my forearm. I'm not really known for the fear of needles but rather the process before it seems to suck my strength away. I watch as the doctor brings a needle and pierces it into my skin, drawing some amount of blood into the syringe. Afterwards he instructs me to hold the cotton the site. Then he disappears into the room adjoining this one to test for the compatibility.

Few minutes of waiting feels like an eternity with glares burning holes to my back. I wish and wish stronger that somehow I can be the one who helps that man. Soon the doctor emerges from the other room. Everyone holds their breath.

The doctor nods.

The guys behind me burst into victorious roar before getting scolded by the doctor and eventually shunned out of the room. I'm smiling so hard that a tear falls the corner of my eye.

"Now I want you to relax, and put your other arm on the table," the doctor instructs. I do as told. He takes out the needed equipment and sets them on the table. The more I try to relax, seeing the supplies, the more I must seem the opposite. Suddenly I don't remember how does one relax.

The doctor applies pressure on my arm. "This will take two minutes. Between that time, if you feel anything unusual, then tell me."

"I understand," I tell him.

"Alright. Here we go." He examines my arm and selects a vein. Then he brings the needle into my skin.

I try to distract myself with other thoughts. The first one to show up is the image of that man on that night. He just speaking to me, threatening me, just some days ago it's hard to picture him laying so still now.

I notice the doctor's eyes constantly come to me to check my feeling. I smooth my expression better so that he won't misunderstand. The blood draw cannot compare to the pain inside of me. Not long after, the process is done. The doctor withdraws the needle from my arm.

"Remain seated for few minutes first," he tells me before going back into the other room with the blood.

~~~~~~~

Back in my room I lie between the blanket. The doctor previously reassured me that he will shape that man up to his full recovery, and ushered me to sleep. He easily could tell that I'm sleep deprived and that he wouldn't accept me as donor if the circumstance allowed. By now he must be treating to Shinsuke.

Burying my face in the pillow, I count my breath, until sleep overtakes me.