Chapter 5

Ivypaw's shoulders were tense as she walked into camp. Tonight was the battle and even after a full day of battle training, Ivypaw didn't feel at all prepared. It didn't help that the night before, she had gotten little to possibly no sleep. All Ivypaw could remember about the past night was lying awake in her nest, shaking uncontrollably. She couldn't recall ever passing out.

"Ivypaw!" A voice called, interrupting Ivypaw's intrusive thoughts. She turned around to see Silvermist.

"Hello mother," Ivypaw meowed, trying to drown out her anxiety as she spoke.

"Are you okay?" Silvermist asked, "You seem a bit tense, and shaky."

Ivypaw gulped, feeling herself shake even more. She had clearly done a poor job hiding her worry.

"I-I'm f-fine," Ivypaw insisted. She seemed to be out of breath as she spoke.

"You need to see Eaglefeather," Silvermist insisted, "You're in some sort of panic and you need to calm down."

"Mom, really I'm fine," Ivypaw insisted rapidly, "Eaglefeather has more important things to do than tend to an anxious apprentice."

"That's his job, Ivypaw!" Silvermist exclaimed, "To tend to cats."

Silvermist began making her way toward Eaglefeather's den. Ivypaw leapt in front of her.

"He tends to cats with physical wounds!" Ivypaw hissed, "Not some cat who's just scared! I don't want to waste his time!"

Ivypaw's heart was pounding so hard she could feel it in her ears. She began sheathing and unsheathing her claws rapidly as she stared up at her mother.

"Look," Silvermist ordered, pointing her tail toward Eaglefeather's den.

Ivypaw turned around. Eaglefeather was in his den, eating a mouse. No other cats were in his den and all of his herbs were in their stores.

"See? He's not that busy," Silvermist meowed, "Come on, I'll go with you."

Ivypaw let out a sigh. There was clearly no arguing with her mother. Ivypaw padded after Silvermist, still shaking and flexing her claws. Her entire body felt stiff even as she shook.

"Eaglefeather!" Silvermist called out.

Eaglefeather glanced up from his meal as the two cats approached him. He buried the remains of the mouse and sat up.

"What's the problem?" Eaglefeather asked.

"Ivypaw is really nervous for the battle tonight-"

"That's to be expected," Eaglefeather growled, flicking his tail in annoyance.

"She insisted on bringing me here!" Ivypaw blurted out, "I'm sorry we bothered you, she's just being overprotective!"

Before Ivypaw could walk away, Silvermist blocked her path. Ivypaw let out a groan.

"It's not just nervousness," Silvermist insisted, "She's in a state of panic!"

Eaglefeather's amber eyes suddenly gleamed with interest.

"Come here," Eaglefeather ordered, beckoning her toward him with a flick of his tail.

Ivypaw gulped as she stood up. Each pawstep felt heavier than a boulder and her tail began twitching nervously. She sat in front of Eaglefeather, her paws shifting uncomfortably.

"Tell me exactly how you're feeling," Eaglefeather instructed.

"Panicked," Ivypaw blurted out, "Terrified. Worried. I don't even know entirely why. I just know that I feel this way whenever I think of the upcoming battle tonight...It just fills me with a sense of dread. Like it's an impending doom and something terrible will happen. I mean, there's so many things that could go wrong! We could be horribly outnumbered, we could all be killed, the battle could be all for not! And it will be all my fault because I found that deathberry in the first place!"

Ivypaw stopped and was suddenly aware of her pounding heart. It was pounding so hard she thought her chest might break and she was still shaking and breathing rapidly. Silvermist's eyes were wide with terror while Eaglefeather was perfectly calm and measured. He turned to Silvermist.

"She is definitely experiencing an anxiety attack," Eaglefeather informed her.

"Well, can't you give her something to calm her down?!" Silvermist demanded.

"No," Eaglefeather replied.

"What?!" Silvermist exclaimed, "None of your herbs ease anxiety?!"

"Juniper berries are reserved for other purposes," Eaglefeather explained, "A poppy seed will just put her to sleep and thyme...well thyme might work but…"

"But what?!" Silvermist demanded.

"I'm afraid if I give her any herbs, she'll become dependent on them," Eaglefeather explained, "And she can't always have them. She needs to learn how to control her anxiety."

"Can you teach her?" Silvermist asked.

"Yes, just leave us to it," Eaglefeather replied. There was a bit of edge to his meow.

Silvermist nodded and padded out of the den. Eaglefeather let out a sigh of relief and turned to Ivypaw.

"How do you feel right now?" Eaglefeather asked.

Ivypaw noticed her shaking paws and pounding heart.

"Still nervous," Ivypaw admitted.

"You need to breathe," Eaglefeather instructed.

Ivypaw looked up at him in confusion.

"I am breathing." The response came out ruder than Ivypaw had intended.

"You need to slow your breathing," Eaglefeather clarified, "Close your eyes."

Ivypaw closed her eyes.

"Focus on your breathing," Eaglefeather instructed.

Ivypaw realized she had been breathing rapidly.

"Now take deep breaths until your heartbeat slows," Eaglefeather instructed, "And continue to focus on your breathing."

Ivypaw took a deep breath, feeling herself relax a bit as the air slowly filled her lungs. She exhaled, then inhaled again, getting into a steady, slow rhythm with her breathing. Ivypaw could feel her pounding heart beginning to slow until it was beating at a normal pace.

"Better?" Eaglefeather prompted.

Ivypaw opened her eyes and gave a small nod.

"Do that whenever you feel your anxiety getting out of control," Eaglefeather replied, "A little worry is okay, but not to the point you were experiencing."

Ivypaw nodded.

"And also remember that you're lucky you even get to be a warrior," Eaglefeather sighed.

Ivypaw tilted her head on confusion then remembered he hadn't wanted to be a medicine cat.

"Why did Amberstar make you a medicine cat if you hate it so much?" Ivypaw asked curiously.

"Because I was good at differentiating between herbs," Eaglefeather replied, "But I wanted to be a warrior so baldy."

Ivypaw was about to respond but Eaglefeather kept speaking.

"Mintleaf was a very patient mentor, and she cared so deeply about being a medicine cat, unlike me. She shouldn't have died."

Ivypaw felt a tear in her eye as she was reminded of Mintleaf.

"She died too soon," Ivypaw agreed.

Eaglefeather nodded and let out a sigh.

"I still miss her," he admitted, "She made being a medicine cat actually worth it."

"Well, if it means anything, I think you are a good medicine cat," Ivypaw meowed.

Eaglefeather glanced up at Ivypaw, with a surprised look in his eyes. He smiled gratefully at her.

"Ivypaw!" A voice yowled.

Ivypaw whipped around to see Lightningpaw dashing toward Eaglefeather's den.

"Ivypaw, I've been looking all over for you!" Lightningpaw gasped from exhaustion, "We need to get something to eat before the battle!"

Ivypaw glanced at Eaglefeather.

"Thank you," she meowed.

Eaglefeather nodded to her before Ivypaw and Lightningpaw raced toward the fresh-kill pile. Ivypaw grabbed a rabbit and tossed it aside for the two of them to eat.

"What were you in Eaglefeather's den for?" Lightningpaw asked.

"An anxiety attack," Ivypaw replied, before getting a bite of food. "My mother insisted on it."

"You did seem distressed during training today," Lightningpaw replied, "Did he help you?"

"Yes actually," Ivypaw meowed, "He taught me a trick I can use whenever my anxiety gets out of control."

"That's good," Lightningpaw replied, grabbing a mouthful of rabbit.

The two apprentices finished their meal in silence.

"Nervous for the battle?" Lightningpaw asked as she began burying the rabbit bones.

Ivypaw nodded.

"Don't worry about it," Lightningpaw insisted, "You're a great fighter I've always got your back."

Lightningpaw gave a friendly nudge.

"Thanks Lightningpaw," Ivypaw replied with a blush.

"And hey, if things get out of control, just use that trick Eaglefeather taught you," Lightningpaw suggested.

"That probably won't work in the heat of battle," Ivypaw replied, "But I can definitely use it before or after."

"Whatever works," Lightningpaw replied.

Suddenly, Amberstar leapt atop the Highrock.

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey, gather here for a clan meeting," Amberstar called out.

Ivypaw and Lightningpaw padded toward her as everyone else gathered.

"The battle is tonight!" Amberstar called out, "Every cat going, follow me. To everyone else, Sunfur is in charge of the camp instead of coming to the battle as I had originally intended."

Sunfur nodded to Amberstar before the leader leapt from the highrock. Ivypaw padded after the patrol, staying by Lightningpaw's side the whole time. The sun had nearly set. At least the tunnelers' daylight blindness won't be an issue. Even once the sun was gone, Amberstar continued to lead the patrol confidently through the dark moor. She only stopped once she reached the Thunderpath. Flicking her tail, Amberstar beckoned the cats to follow her across the black path. Ivypaw dashed across the Thunderpath as fast as she could, not wanting to be there for any longer than she had to be. Once Ivypaw made it to the other side of the Thunderpath, another horrible smell filled her nostrils. Shadowclan. Ivypaw stepped lightly through the marshy land, all of her senses on high alert. Amberstar confidently lead her cats toward the heart of Shadowclan, their camp. The cats gathered outside of the camp and waited anxiously before Amberstar gave the signal with her tail to attack. Cats in the patrol lunged through the walls of the camp and attacked the cats in their nests before they even knew what was going on. Ivypaw lunged at a brown tabby, sinking her claws into his back. The tabby yowled and shook Ivypaw off him as he stood up. Ivypaw leaped back to her paws and hissed at the tom. He hissed back before lunging at her again. At the last possible moment, Ivypaw ducked, which sent the Shadowclan tabby flying over her. Ivypaw looked up to see that the tom had landed in a thorn bush. Ivypaw might've felt sympathy if this weren't one of the cats responsible for the death of her mentor, the elders, and others. Ivypaw hissed at the cat before looking around the clearing. Cats were fighting all over the clearing. Amberstar was taking on Shadowclan's leader, Snakestar while the apprentices and warriors of the Windclan fought the warriors and apprentices of Shadowclan. Ivypaw looked around. Where was Lightningpaw?! Out of the corner of her eye, Ivypaw noticed Lightningpaw pinned down by a familiar Shadowclan​ tom: Leafpelt! Ivypaw lunged at the white eared tabby and sank her claws into his side. Leafpelt turned on Ivypaw, slashing his claws across her face. Blind with fury, Ivypaw sank her teeth into Leafpelt's fur. Ivypaw ripped away, tearing away a chunk of fur from Leafpelt's shoulder. The tom let out a yowl of pain, but before he could flee, a black shape lunged at him. Lightningpaw! The fierce she-cat landed squarely on Leafpelt's back, sinking her claws into his shoulders. Ivypaw skidded through the dirt and ripped her dirty claws through Leafpelt's face. He let out the loudest yowl Ivypaw had ever heard. Leafpelt fled out of the battle and into another den, most likely the medicine cat's den. Ivypaw immediately looked at Lightningpaw.

"Are you okay?" Ivypaw asked.

"Yeah, thanks," Lightningpaw replied, giving her fur a shake.

Ivypaw leaped to Lightningpaw's side, pressing her fur against her's.

"Whoever we fight next, we fight together," Ivypaw promised.

Lightningpaw nodded and the two apprentices gazed around the clearing, looking for their next opponent. Ivypaw then spotted Mistpaw, taking on two Shadowclan warriors on her own. Ivypaw pointed her tail at the sight. Lightningpaw gazed at Mistpaw then back at Ivypaw, both apprentices nodded in unison before running to aid their friend. Ivypaw lunged at the black she-cat while Lightningpaw leaped to Mistpaw's side, and the two took on the cream colored tom. Ivypaw sank her teeth into the black she-cat's shoulder, and ripped her claws through her chest. The black cat jumped backward with a hissed, slashing her claws across Iypaw's shoulder. Ivypaw ducked down and gazed up at the black cat's head but them rammed her head into the cat's head. The she-cat was surprised but regained her balance quickly and lunged at Ivypaw. The two cats wrestled each other fiercely, kicking and clawing wildly at each other. Ivypaw ripped her back claws through the she-cat's soft belly fur. The Shadowclan cat sank her teeth into Ivypaw's shoulder. Ivypaw gave one fierce kick, knocking the cat away. Ivypaw lead to her paws but before she could rip into the Shadowclan cat's fur again, Lightningpaw lunged at the she-cat, pinning her down. Mistpaw leaped to Ivypaw's side as Lightningpaw sank her claws deep into the Shadowclan cat's chest and ripped down through her stomach. The Shadowclan cat let out a scream of pain and tore away from Lightningpaw, bolting away in the opposite direction. Lightningpaw smiled and skidded through the dirt to Ivypaw's other side. The three apprentices stood tall and proud together even as they panted and sweat from exhaustion and the pain of their wounds. Ivypaw felt as if the three could take on the whole of Shadowclan as long as they were together and looking at Lightningpaw and Mistpaw, she could tell they were feeling the same. As more Shadowclan cats raced toward them, Ivypaw, Lightningpaw, and Mistpaw into their fighting positions, having their backs to each other for protection.

"Windclan retreat!" A voice suddenly called.

Ivypaw looked up. Amberstar was at the camp exit as Windclan warriors fled all around her. Ivypaw looked at Lightningpaw and Mistpaw, both had the same look of disappointment on their face.

"We lost?!" Mistpaw gasped.

"But we're only just getting started!" Lightningpaw argued.

Ivypaw was about to agree until she caught something out of the corner of her eye. Silvermist and Cedartail were struggling to limp out of camp. Their wounds were deep and blood was pouring out of them' staining their fur red. Ivypaw's jaw dropped. Mistpaw and Lightningpaw turned to where she was looking and both gasped.

"Mother!" Ivypaw gasped.

She dashed toward Silvermist, pressing against her side. Silvermist looked down at her daughter her eyes were wide with exhaustion as she involuntarily leaned on Ivypaw. She didn't mind and began leading her mother out of Shadowclan's camp. Lightningpaw did the same with her father.

"Mom, you're gonna be okay,��� Ivypaw assured her, "We're going back to camp. Eaglefeather will heal you there."

Silvermist gave a weak nod. Lightningpaw began assuring her father the same thing as them and Mistpaw caught up with the rest of the patrol.

"I can't believe we lost!" Snowpelt exclaimed.

"No," Amberstar replied bluntly, "We were going to lose no matter what. This is their camp. They never would have fled and they badly outnumbered us. There is no version of this where we come out on top, and I was too blind from grief to see that!"

Ivypaw felt a pang of sympathy for her leader. She had lost her entire family in such a short period of time and now had suffered a humiliating defeat and the paws of the cats who caused those deaths.

"But at least we taught Shadowclan a lesson?" Snowpelt suggested.

"I hope so," Amberstar replied, but Ivypaw could tell that the leader doubt her own words.

Ivypaw looked back at Silvermist worriedly. After a while more of walking, the patrol made it back to camp. As they did, two heads emerged from the apprentices' den: Applepaw and Antpaw. The two tom's immediately gasped ad rushed towards their sisters.

"Is Silvermist okay?!" Applepaw asked.

"She was injured in the battle," Ivypaw answered, "And so was Cedartail. We're taking them to Eaglefeather."

Ivypaw and Lightningpaw led their parents to the medicine cat's den. Eaglefeather looked up from his her stores. His eyes filled with panic.

"Lay them here," Eaglefeather ordered before Lightningaw or Ivypaw could say anything.

The two apprentices laid their parents on the moss nests as Eaglefeather frantically grabbed some cobwebs and other herbs. He began applying the cobwebs and poultices he made as quickly as he could to their wounds. Applepaw, Antpaw, Harepelt, and Ravenfeather pushed their way into the den, gazing down at Cedartail and Silvermist worriedly. Applepaw pressed against Ivypaw as she struggled to regulate her breathing.

"Should I go get our sister?" Applepaw asked.

Ivypaw nodded.

"I'll go get her," another voice called.

Ivypaw and Applepaw turned around to see Mistpaw, running toward the apprentices' den. The two siblings nodded and looked back at Silvermist. Shrewpaw arrived after a while but remained completely silent along with the other cats. Eaglefeather struggled to stop both cats' bleeding and treat any possible infections. It was clear he couldn't do this alone.

"Is there anything I can help with?" Ivypaw asked.

Eaglefeather looked up at Ivypaw in surprise. Then his eyes clouded with sadness.

"I'm sorry," Eaglefeather sighed, "Not even all the help in the world can save them now. Their wounds are too deep."

"NO!" Ivypaw cried.

"There has to be something you can do!" Ravenfeather exclaimed.

"We can't lose our mother!" Applepaw cried.

"And our father!" Lightningpaw joined in.

"I'm sorry," Eaglefeather repeated, "There's nothing I can do. They're in the paws of Starclan now."

Ivypaw leaned closer to her mother. Silvermist's breathing had stopped completely and she laid there completely limp. Tears began pouring out of Ivypaw's eyes. She let out a yowl of pain and pressed her nose into her mother's soft fur.

"I'm going back to sleep," Shrewpaw's voice sounded completely stunned, devoid of any other emotion.

Ivypaw ignored her sister and continued to cry over Silvermist's body.

"Take the bodies into the clearing," Eaglefeather ordered.

Ivypaw followed as Harepelt carried Silvermist's body and Antpaw carried Cedartail's. They laid the two bodies down side by side in the clearing and the cats gathered in a circle around them. Ivypaw sat beside Lightningpaw and Applepaw, who was next to their father. Harepelt pressed close to his son as Ravenfeather next to him held her son, Antpaw close with her tail. Lightningpaw pressed her teary cheek against Ivypaw's. The silver apprentice responded by wrapping her tail around her friend. Lightningpaw did the same and the two apprentices pressed as close as they could as they looked down at the dead bodies of their parents.

"Cedartail," Ravenfeather began, her eyes full of tears, "You loved me like no cat ever did…"

"And you were a great father," Antpaw added when Ravenfeather couldn't go on, "You always came to see me and Lightningpaw in the nursery and you were very supportive. It's going to be hard, going on without you."

Ravenfeather nodded to her son and ran her tongue across Antpaw's forehead. Lightningpaw rested her paw on Cedartail's shoulder, looking down at her father's body in shock as more tears streamed down her face. Ivypaw licked Lightningpaw's cheek and gazed at her, lightly encouraging her to speak. Lightningpaw sighed and gazed down at her father.

"Cedartail...you were a great warrior," Lightningpaw began, "But it won't just be the clan struggling to go on without you, it will be me. You were very supportive of me and...and I hope you find good hunting in Starclan."

Harepelt looked down at both bodies.

"Cedartail, you were a good friend, and a great warrior," Harepelt meowed, "You died with honor."

The white tom's gaze shifted toward Silvermist.

"And Silvermist...my beloved mate, I already miss you dearly. I love you with all my heart, and I will continue to do so despite your death. I promise to take good care of our kits."

Harepelt pressed against Silvermist and let a few tears loose. Applepaw stepped forward, looking down at his mother.

"Mom…" Applepaw sighed. "You and dad were so supportive of me when I decided to be a tunneler despite it not being the family way. I will always be grateful for that and I will become a great tunneler, like you would've wanted me to."

Applepaw gave Silvermist's body a lick and pressed against Harepelt supportively. Ivypaw sighed. It was her turn to speak.

"Mom...I always complained when you acted protective of me but now…" Ivypaw's eyes filled with tears. "Now I'd want nothing more than to have you back here fussing over me and my siblings, like you always did."

Ivypaw moved away from Lightningpaw to press her face into Silvermist's soft fur. Ivypaw's tears began to stain her mother's fur. Ivypaw backed out and pressed against Lightningpaw again. Lightningpaw rested her chin on Ivypaw's head and rested her tail on her back. Ivypaw pressed her head against Lightningpaw's chest. Both apprentices continued to cry but found some comfort in each other. Once the sun rose, Eaglefeather emerged from his den and took Cedartail and Silvermist's bodies out to be buried. Ivypaw and Lightningpaw watched him go before they went back to their nests to catch up on their sleep.