Chapter 6

(Warning: Loki attempts to kill himself in this chapter through assisted suicide. It is unsuccessful but it's very clear what he intended to do.)

"Okay, who here hasn't been to space?" Rocket asked. Natasha, Steve, and Rhodey all raised their hands.

"Why?" Rhodey asked.

"You better not throw up on my ship," Rocket replied, pressing some buttons on the dashboard. "Approaching jump in three… two… one." The ship zipped forward, the stars around the flashing by like comets as they entered a wormhole. Various gasps filled the ship. Loki paid no attention, his gaze intent on his daggers. Thanos is going to pay for what he did. After a few moments, the ship slowed to a halt in front of the planet. Bright light poured into the front of the ship. Loki glanced up at Carol.

"I'll head down for ground recon," she explained before disappearing, taking the light with her.

"I still can't wrap my head around why you wanted to come." Loki glanced back at Natasha.

"The same reason as all of you," Loki answered, slicing his daggers together. "To get back what I lost." And teach Thanos a lesson, he added to himself.

"Like you had anything to lose," Steve growled.

"For your information," Rocket butted in. "We both lost our friends and Thanos murdered his brother." Loki flicked away the beginnings of a tear. "Come on, whatever Loki did to you guys can't possibly be as bad as what Thanos has done."

"He attacked Earth with an alien army and plans of world conquest," Natasha informed, her voice flat.

Rocket glanced at Loki, his eyes wide. "You did?" he asked.

Loki rolled his eyes. "Six years ago." Rocket muttered a 'damn' as Loki continued, "Besides, I didn't exactly have a choice."

"Oh bullshit," Steve snapped, rolling his eyes.

"No, I really didn't have much of a choice. Where is that Barton fellow? He went through something similar."

"Your excuse is that you were brainwashed?!" Natasha snarled. Before Loki could respond, Carol reappeared in front of the ship.

"No satellites, no ships, no armies, no ground defenses of any kind. It's just him," she informed.

"Then that's enough," Nebula replied. "Land the ship." Rocket nodded to her.

"What's the plan?" Steve asked.

"We take him by surprise," Bruce answered, gesturing his hands. "Get the gauntlet away from him, fight as hard as we have to in order to keep him from getting it back."

"Kill him if you have to," Loki added, his eyes narrowed.

Natasha glared at him. "Only if you have to."

"Yes, of course," Loki replied. After a few moments, the ship slowed to a complete halt on the ground. The bottom hatch cracked open. Carol landed in front, leading the others across the flat expanse. Loki trailed after Rocket and Nebula, summoning his daggers. He shook his head. The daggers disappeared, replaced by a long, thin sword. A grin formed on Loki's lips. The group approached a ramshackle shed. Loki cast a glance at Bruce, who he now noticed was wearing a mechanical suit that towered above even Loki.

"Why not just turn into the Hulk?" Loki murmured, raising an eyebrow

"He hasn't wanted to fight since he got beat up by Thanos," Bruce answered. Loki nodded, glancing back at the others. Carol soared toward the roof of the shed, and after a moment of hovering, crashed inside. Bruce and Loki rushed toward the shack. Their weapons were at the ready as the rest of the group struggled to get theirs. Stomping inside, Bruce grabbed Thanos's gauntlet arm. Carol had Thanos in a chokehold as the two held them in place. With a cry, Loki leaped inside as well. He slashed his sword right into Thanos's arm, prompting a cry as the arm fell to the ground. Loki glared daggers at Thanos, pressing the tip of his sword against the titan's chest.

"Who's the fool now, huh?!" Loki demanded, glaring down at the titan. Thanos didn't answer. Rhodey landed inside, Rocket perched on his shoulder. Steve and Natasha followed suit. Everyone glared at Thanos. Rocket approached the Gauntlet, kicking it over to reveal six empty sockets. Loki let out a gasp.

"Oh no," Rocket sighed. Loki turned back to Thanos, pressing the sword deep enough to draw blood.

"Where are they?!" Loki demanded. It took all of his self-control not to shove the sword deep into Thanos's skin.

"Answer the question," Carol added, releasing Thanos from her grasp. Thanos fell to the ground, gasping.

"The universe required correction," Thanos muttered. "After that, the stones served no purpose, beyond temptation."

"You murdered trillions!" Bruce snapped.

"You should be grateful."

"For what?!" Loki howled. His voice seemed to shake the whole shack. "The deaths of those we cared about?!"

"Where are the damn stones?!" Natasha demanded, glaring at Thanos.

"Gone." Loki's eyes widened. "Reduced to atoms."

"You used them two days ago you liar!" Loki snapped.

"I used the stones to destroy the stones. It nearly… killed me."

"It should have," Loki muttered.

"-The work is done," Thanos continued, eyes narrowing. "It always will be. I am inevitable." Loki bristled as he glared at Thanos. Everyone was gone… Thor… the Guardians… all thanks to this pathetic monster who was still acting all high and mighty about murdering more beings than Loki could ever dream of. And all within a few seconds.

"We have to tear this place apart," Rhodey insisted, looking around. "He-he-he has to be lying."

"My father is many things," Nebula murmured, gazing at Thanos. "A liar is not one of them." Thanos glanced at Nebula, his gaze softening. "Softening." As if the monster was capable of such a thing. Loki's jaw clenched. His grip on the handle of his sword was so tight his skin was practically turning red.

"Thank you daughter," Thanos murmured. "Perhaps I treated you too harshly." Something snapped in Loki's mind. Blind with rage, he swung his sword into Thanos at full force. There was a screech. Then silence as a head rolled toward Loki's feet. However, he wasn't done. Loki sliced wildly at what remained of Thanos's corpse, chopping it into pieces. Hands clasped around his shoulders, pulling him back.

"Stop, stop Loki, stop!" It was Carol's voice. Loki jerked away from the grip. However, more hands came to grip his waist, holding him back again.

"There, he's dead. What good did it do?!" Natasha demanded. Loki's rage melted away, as he fell to the ground on his knees. The others backed off. The only sound that remained was Loki's ragged breathing. A wave of numbness consumed him as he glared at Thanos's corpse, ripped apart and bleeding. There was no guilt in his heart but strangely, no triumph either. He'd waited for this moment for so long. He dreamed of it, smiled at the thought of ripping him open just like this to get revenge for all the torture he put him through. Yet once the rage was gone, nothing remained. Why did I even do this? It didn't bring them back.

"Alright, come on," Rhodey prompted. "Let's… get back to the ship." The group nodded solemnly, padding out of the shack. However, Loki remained in his spot.

"Loki?" Nebula called. "Come on." Loki forced himself to stand, walking after the group with no purpose in any of his steps. The ride back was thankfully silent. However, the air was heavy with everyone's collective feelings of failure. When the ship landed, everyone marched out, heads hung low. Loki, however, remained seated. He gazed blankly at the floor, feeling no motivation to even undo his seatbelt. Time certainly passed. Loki didn't know how long it was until someone entered the ship, nor did he care.

"Loki," a voice murmured. Loki glanced blankly at Natasha, who for once wasn't tensing or glaring at him. Actually, her gaze was almost… soft. "I talked to Tony and Pepper. You're going to stay with them for a while."

"Why?" Loki asked.

"Tony requested it," Natasha informed. "He woke up a little while ago… he and Pepper are outside waiting." Undoing his seatbelt, Loki dragged himself out of the ship. Each step seemed to hold the weight of the entire world. He followed Tony and Pepper without a word, his head hung low to the ground.

Loki laid on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling fan. There was a nagging thought in his mind that yelled at him to get up and do something. However, weariness kept him glued to the bed. It had been like this for months. A part of him wanted to do things but he didn't know what to do. Everything seemed so pointless now. He didn't see a point in doing anything and the world seemed darker for it. The sun was just a ball of unrelenting heat constantly berating the earth. The current dark and rain were more suited to him, at least giving him an excuse to be inside. However, it made no difference. Loki hadn't left Tony and Pepper's house since he got there, rarely even leaving the room they'd given him. With nothing to do and no one to see, the days sort of faded together. Summoning a knife, Loki's gaze shifted to his wrists. I could end it all here. The dullness can finally end… I can see my family and friends again. Gritting his teeth, Loki rested the blade against one of his wrists. Just a couple of fierce swipes and it would've been the end. Suddenly, there was a pounding on the door. The knife disappeared in a flash and Loki sat up with a yelp.

"Come in," he called. The door was pushed open, and Tony's face poked through. Loki grunted. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to see you…" Tony explained, pushing the door further open. "I figured we still had some things to talk about." Loki glared blankly at him. "Come on Loki, you've barely left this room since we brought you here. Can you at least come out for dinner?" Loki let out a sigh. He's not going to leave. I don't have a choice.

"Alright fine," Loki sighed, pushing himself off the bed. He shambled after Tony as he led him to the table. Loki sighed as he sat in one of the chairs. Tony sat down across from him, pouring wine into a glass.

"Do you want any?" Tony asked, grabbing another cup.

"It won't do anything to me," Loki scoffed. "I am a God after all."

"Really? 'Cause it messed your brother up pretty good." Loki flinched at the thought of Thor. He could just picture the big oaf swigging down bottles and bottles of the stuff Tony had. The room would be so much louder… so much messier.

"I'll… have a glass," Loki sighed. He wasn't really in the mood to get drunk, especially around Stark of all people, but the idea of forgetting his troubles even just for a moment was too tempting to resist. Tony started pouring a second glass. "You know, I'm actually not old enough to drink on Asgard," Loki informed. Why am I trying to make small talk with this idiot?!

"How old are you?" Tony asked, lifting his glass for a sip.

"Hm… a thousand and fifty or so." Tony spat out his drink. "Honestly, you expect me to keep track?!"

"Well… that's definitely old enough on Earth," Tony replied, taking a sip of his drink.

"Oh, I never said it would stop me." Loki tilted his head back, quaffing the entire glass in one gulp. Tony's eyes widened.

"Well shit." He cracked a smile.

"Another, he ordered, passing his cup to Tony with a blank expression.

"Alright, but don't drink it all in one go." Tony grabbed the glass, using his other hand to pour in the wine. There was a thump at the door.

"What's that?" Loki asked.

"That would be dinner," Tony answered, standing up. "One second." He ambled toward the door, pushing it open to reveal a person carrying a thin box. Handing some paper to them, Tony took the box in his arm. He dropped it on the table. Pulling the top open, a yellow circular object was revealed to be inside.

"What is that?" Loki asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's pizza," Tony answered. "Trust me, it's delicious." Grabbing a slice, Tony dropped it on his plate. Loki reached into the box. He flinched back, blowing on his fingers. Tony raised an eyebrow. Loki's face heated with embarrassment as he extended his fingers toward a slice. This time, the pizza slice floated out of the box and landed on Loki's plate. Loki glanced back at Tony. He was gobbling down his slice like a rabid wolf. The cheese got all over the place, chunks of it falling off the slice and strings of it sticking to everything. Sauce decorated Tony's lips. Meanwhile, Loki let his slice cool before cutting into bites and eating it with a fork. Midgardians… absolutely no class. The room had gone quiet.

"Stark, why did you want me to come here?" Loki asked, putting down his utensils. Tony met his gaze. "To-to live I mean. Are you and your team that concerned about me attacking Earth again?"

"Well that was part of it but… I admit it was for a couple of other reasons." Loki leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. "Alright, alright first reason: friendship." Loki's eyebrow immediately twitched up. "Hear me out. Back in New York, had you not been trying to kill everyone, we might've been friends. I wanted to test that theory."

"And I thought Thor was strange…"

"And that's a great transition into my other reason: I'm worried about you."

"Worried I'll attack earth again?" Loki sighed, leaning back.

"Well, that too but I'm mostly worried about your mental state. You never seemed right in the head but after the whole Asgard and Thanos things happened… things undoubtedly suck for you right now."

"You got that right," Loki sighed.

"And after what you said on the ship, Nebula and I were worried you would try to… end your life." Loki's eyes widened. He nearly sank in his seat as he stared down at his now fidgeting hands. "You attempted… didn't you?"

Loki nodded. He was unable to meet Tony's gaze. "Right before you came… I had a knife at my wrists. If you had waited even one more second…"

"Well I'm glad I came when I did," Tony replied, "I can't have you hurting yourself or someone else. I wouldn't be very good at my job if you did."

"Your job?" Loki glanced up at Stark, who was now snarfing down another slice of pizza. Loki did the same, neatly cutting off a bite.

"As an Avenger," Tony's reply was muffled by a mouthful of pizza. Loki's jaw clenched. Have you heard of chewing with your mouth closed?! Thankfully, his next reply was pizza-less. "I gotta make sure the life that remained survives."

"Well you won't be able to 'protect' me forever, Stark." Loki did air quotes just for extra spite. "I'll outlive you by thousands of years."

"Oh, I hope." Tony lifted his glass above the table. "A toast to a long life!" To Loki's surprise, he didn't dump the wine his mouth just kept the glass in the air in front of him.

"W-what are you doing?" Loki asked, "Why are you just holding your glass there?"

"Jeez, you don't know what a toast is?"

"Toast? Like… like the bread?"

Tony let out a snicker. "No! Like… here." He reached across the table. "Take your glass in your hand." Loki obeyed, out of pure curiosity, of course. "And… here." Tony grabbed Loki's hand, lifting it into the air. It stayed there even after he let go. Sitting back down, Tony raised his own glass right next to Loki's. "Now we just kinda tap them together. A toast to a long life!" Tony tapped his glass against Loki's before swigging it down. Loki followed his lead, swallowing it all in one gulp. Tony poured himself another glass.

"That probably existed on Asgard and I just never knew about it." Loki cut his pizza as he spoke. "I never really went to many of the big feasts."

"It's okay, man," Tony replied. "Thor doesn't know stuff like that all the time."

Loki dropped his knife. "Didn't," he corrected.

Tony bit his lip. "Right… sorry about that." Loki went back to cutting his pizza. It was a simple task but it kept his hands busy and as a result, kept his mind focused on something other than his grief. Occasionally he would slip the knife or fork around as he used them.

"You know," Loki sighed, upon finishing a slice. "I always wanted to live my life free from my brother's shadow. I sometimes acted like I didn't care about him or… that I didn't want him around. In truth, I miss that idiot." Loki gritted his teeth as a vision of Thor's bulged eye seared into his mind. "It was horrible to watch him die… and not even be able to do anything about it." Loki shot a glance at Tony, who had been silently nodding along the whole time. "W-why did I just admit all that to you?!"

"Probably the alcohol," Tony remarked, shrugging. "I find it can have that effect on people who are holding back a lot… less self-control and all."

"W-was that your plan?!" Loki gasped. "To get me to talk?!"

"No." Loki raised an eyebrow. "Dude, you can read my mind if you really want, I swear I'm not lying."

"I know," Loki let out a sigh, resting his hand on his now throbbing forehead. "I'd be able to tell if you were. It's just… your plan really is to just… befriend me? No strings attached, you just… brought me here to talk to me and make sure I'm alright?" Tony nodded. "Why would you want to do that? You-you remember New York, don't you?"

"Obviously," Tony scoffed. "Didn't I bring it up?" Loki didn't reply. "Well anyways, doesn't it feel good to get the stuff off your chest?"

"Well… admittedly yes but… I don't really trust you with that information, or anyone else so… do me a favour and don't restate what I told you to anyone."

"Alright, I promise." Tony extended his hand, lifting his pinkie.

"Um…" Loki glanced shifted from Tony's outstretched finger to his eyes.

Tony let out a sigh. "Gimme your pinkie." Loki inched his arm forward, elbow on the table and pinkie outstretched. Tony's finger wrapped around Loki's. Loki followed his lead, pushing so hard their fingers reddened. Gasping, Tony backed away. "That was an intense pinkie promise," he commented.

"You'd better keep it then." Loki's tone was dark but his lip twitched up.

"If I didn't know any better I'd think you were trying to kill me," Tony commented, sipping some wine.

"While I could kill you with just my finger, I have no desire to. You're too… hm…" Loki observed Tony closer. He took in his physical features: his lips still covered in pizza sauce, his ruffled hair, his deep brown eyes... "...You're too… interesting to throw away so quickly." A full smile formed on Loki's lips.

"Interesting huh?" Tony smirked, raising an eyebrow. "So, you've finally given in to my irresistible charm?"

Loki's face heated up. "If that's how you want to phrase it… um, yes… I suppose you are a friend."

"Yes!" Tony raised his glass again. "A toast to friendship!" Loki followed Tony's lead, their glasses clinking together before they swigged the wine down. Loki glanced back at Tony. A wave of confusion had now hit him.

"How are you still acting so normal?" he asked. "Wasn't that your fourth cup?"

"This stuff isn't that strong," Tony replied, pouring yet another glass from the second bottle. "I'll be good for awhile." Loki's face heated up, most likely from shame. Tony considered this stuff weak while Loki's vision was starting to blur. The rest of the night, like his eyesight, was a blur. He knew he and Stark had done things other than sitting at that table; he had vague memories of tripping around the house and talking in a very slurred speech about his life, but it had all faded. It was like a dream: very vivid in the moment but gone seconds after.

The first thing Loki noticed when he woke up was a blinding headache. He let out a groan, shifting a little. The second thing he noticed was that he wasn't alone. His arms were wrapped around something small and breathing… Loki opened his eyes with a yawn. In his arms, was none other than Tony.

"SHIT!" Removing his arms, Loki backed away from the sleeping figure. How in the nine realms did this happen?! As he sat up, the blanket slid off him, revealing his bare chest. His cheeks reddened. So he had been shirtless, snuggling with Tony, in his bed, after getting blackout drunk. This was all starting to sound like a cruel joke. Lost in thought, Loki realized he had been staring at Tony the whole time. He couldn't tell if Tony was missing any clothing with the blanket in the way. However, a part of him was compelled to find out. Loki no, a voice in his head begged. Stop trying to check out your friend. It might give him the wrong idea. For once, Loki listened to his conscience. Beside him, Tony was stirring slightly and letting out tired groans. Loki rolled over on his side, facing away from the admittedly attractive man beside him. He forced his eyes shut.

"Loki?" Tony yawned. "You awake?" There was a sudden pressure on Loki's shoulder that caused his eyes to snap open.

"I am now," he grunted.

"What happened?" Tony asked, sitting up. Loki sat up beside him, glancing down at him.

"We got blackout drunk and passed out," Loki yawned, rubbing his tired eyes. "Nothing else happened."

"Then why are we both shirtless?" Loki's face reddened. It's not really something to complain about…

"I always sleep like this," Loki answered. His cheeks were stinging even more. It wasn't a lie, just embarrassing to admit. However, it was better than what Tony was suspecting. "I get really warm at night." Immediately, a shirt appeared on him from thin air.

Tony let out a sigh of relief. "Alright, I believe you, sith lord. Do you know where-hey, my eyes are up here." Loki's eyes widened. He met Tony's gaze, his face as red as blood. His heart pounded in his ears as he struggled to come up with some sort of excuse for his wandering eyes.

"Sorry… it's just…" Loki pointed at the metal object implanted in Tony's chest. "Doesn't that hurt?" Tony glanced at it briefly.

"You mean the arc reactor? No, it doesn't hurt." Loki tilted his head in confusion. "Okay, basically, it's like my heart. It keeps me alive."

"I figured that," Loki replied. "I just never noticed... I-is there a reason you have this?"

Tony's eyes darted away. "I'd rather not talk about it," he admitted. Loki looked away as well, his gaze intent on his fidgeting hands.

"That's alright," Loki murmured. Silence followed.

"Hey… can I have my shirt?" Not turning to face Tony, Loki snapped his fingers. "Thanks." Tony rolled off the bed with a yawn. "Well, I'm gonna go check on Pepper in the hospital. Be good while I'm gone… and… thanks for a fun night." Loki blinked, his face warming up before he smiled. A genuine, sweet smile.

"No… thank you," he murmured. Tony smiled back before closing the door behind him.