Part 50: Not X The X Same

Days have passed since the start of our short training. We are always eager to improve our ability in maintaining our Ren, so we always torturing ourselves every day, and Bisky had no choice but to take care of us once we reached our limit.

She was actually using her Nen technique, "Cookie" and ordering it to massage our whole body for relaxation. That's why these past days were a mixture of pleasure and torture. It was because of her Nen technique's massage.

Last night, Killua came into the apartment after their fight with Knuckle, and my eyes widened as I saw Gon laying on his back, unconscious. My worry won over me and a tear almost fell on my cheek, but I stopped it, trying to be strong for them.

Indeed, I became strong physically, but if I didn't fight my emotional weaknesses, then all of my hard work might go to waste. I wanted to be strong, not just from my brawn, but also from my heart.

Gon was being put on the bed of one of the rooms in the apartment. Bisky decided to train Killua, worried about his fighting conditions since he didn't have any battles these past days. My heart couldn't leave Gon all by himself so I was left alone in the room with him.

I just stared at his face all the time, which is full of innocence and determination. His eyes were closed since he was sleeping, and his breath was slow and relaxed. I don't know how strong this Knuckle or Shoot guy is, but based on my friends' repeated attempts of defeating them, they might be at the same level of Bisky or Grenno, which is pretty hard to beat.

I continue to stare, trying my best to look out for him. Ever since that day they showed me that everything can be possible, they saved me from my despair, I didn't leave by their side. I want to learn more from them. I want to be with them. I want to treasure them as much as I can. If they didn't show up at that time, I would be distorted myself.

Hours of guarding Gon have passed, and my eyes are begging me to let them rest too. My whole body tried to cover my vision but I insisted and wanted to guard my friend a little more. Palm was busy in the kitchen, doing something that I don't want to know. Killua and Bisky are training for the final fight tomorrow. Only I can take care of Gon for now.

"You should sleep." A familiar voice spoke from behind. I turned my head around, forgot about the fact that I'm very sleepy, and saw Killua with a damaged face. His other eye was almost covered by the big purple bump below it and traces of fresh blood can be seen from the bottom of his mouth. His face was much worse than Grenno's that I almost couldn't recognize him. Bisky really didn't go easy on him.

"So should you, Killua," I said, forming a disagreement on his statement earlier. Unlike me, they have an important fight tomorrow that could decide their fate. All I can do tomorrow was to seek information about Pisacco, and then, I'll leave this home.

"Whatever." He said as he closed his eyes in irritation and crossed both of his arms on his chest while leaning at the doorway. He must be annoyed by my reply and a side of me was feeling bad about it, I don't want to anger him after all, but I couldn't take him so seriously if he looked damaged like that.

So with a deep sigh and a cold sweat, I stood up from my seat carefully while grabbing my bandages from my pocket. Thank goodness I'm always bringing these with me.

I approached him at the door, carrying the bandages, while his face that was once annoyed, now full of confusion as to why I'm walking towards him.

I raised both of his hands and reached for his cheeks, trying to perform my healing technique.

"W-What..."

He stuttered his words at my sudden actions, which didn't bother me at all. I feel the warmth on his cheeks and his face started to turn red. All I know is that he wasn't this warm before. His body was cold as ice, no hint of heat.

I wrapped my bandages all around his face, trying to cover his red cheeks, as I was starting to feel the heat on my face too, after realizing the embarrassing action that I did earlier. Stupid Secco! Why would you do that?

I let out another sigh, couldn't be able to remove the heat coming from my cheeks. But I tried to not be bothered by the embarrassment I'm feeling, and continued wrapped the bandages around him.

After a few seconds, it was finally done. He was standing still, frozen at his position, trying to not move so that my plan would be successful.

I raised my hands and touched the bandages that wrapped around his face to connect my Aura with it. Then, I performed my Nen technique, 'First Aid Kit' to him, trying to remove some of his bruises.

After a minute of waiting for it to finish, I pulled out the bandages around his face, and the purple bump on his left eye is finally gone, as well as the other ones that was located all over his face. There are still some wounds left, but at least for now, he's back to normal.

"You've changed," Killua said, as I just stood beside him, looking at Gon who was still sleeping because of his fight. "You're not the same anymore."

"Was it for better or for worse?" I asked, trying to trick his question.

"Hmm... I don't know." He answered in a more comfortable tone. It looks like he doesn't want me to think that he's cornering me. "Both, I guess."

I released a bitter chuckle at my position as I heard him say that.

That's right. I've almost changed, from a childish and naive personality to a more mature one. I'm still Secco, but my principles might change, and I see things differently now.

It's like I'm being transformed from a caterpillar to a butterfly. But sometimes, changing yourself might not go well.

If that happens to me, then...

"Killua," I called his name, as he was still standing at the door, also staring at the sleeping Gon. He hummed as a sign that he heard my call.

"If the time comes that... I'm not the same anymore," I spoke, trying to collect all of my thoughts so it won't get out of my mouth horribly. "can you bring me back?"

The whole room was silent, and only the crickets of the night can be heard. His answer took too long than I expected. I'm expecting him to go straight 'no' since he doesn't like to take too many responsibilities.

"I... don't know." The only answer he gave me. At first, I was shocked by his reply, since I've known him to reject things, but a part of me was very happy and relieved at his answer.

"Is that so?" I said with a warm smile flashing on my face. Knowing that he's still considering it made me more special to him. Ever since we met, he always treated me like a burden or a nuisance, but now, I became his friend.

"W-Well, then... see you." He bid goodbye and was about to leave the room, trying to take a rest for tomorrow.

Tomorrow... their final battle... another war for them...

Every day is like this, and every day, I got worried. I wish I could help them but I know that this is their business, not mine. But... I wanted to give them support, even though it's as small as a marble.

"Killua," I called for his name one last time when he was about to leave. I feel bad that I have to call him when he was about to go back to his own room to rest.

"What?" He asked, turning his head around to see my face. His cheeks are still red as a tomato and bruised. He tried to read my expression, but he failed to do so.

I formed a smile between my warm cheeks, and with a cheerful tone.

"Good luck.~"

***

The time had finally come. This is it. This is the moment they've been waiting for. Their final battle with Knuckle and Shoot, the battle that will decide for their fate.

My heart started beating so fast for them. I smiled at them as they were leaving, but I'm sure they saw the hint of worry and sadness in between it. They took a step forward towards the door, and then, looked at the three of us that were left behind.

Bisky and I waved our hands goodbye, as they did the same thing, while Palm was just staring at the corner of the room, with her spine-chilling eyes filled with death glares towards the both of them. I guess she's worried that the two boys will lose the battle.

They are finally out of our site, and it's just the three of us, girls, were left. Bisky also felt the heavy atmosphere surrounding us inside the room. And no doubt that it came from Palm.

"W-Well... I'll be leaving now. Take care, you two." She said, with a sweat dropped from her forehead, as she already prepared her luggage beside her, filled with spare clothes and men's magazines. It looks like she already planned all of this out just to keep away from the murderous Aura of Palm.

"I-I'll take you to the station!~" I stuttered in my words, trying to save myself from our other friend's deadly glances on the corner of the room like some evil spirit. I honestly don't want to deal with her. She is always staring at me with her scary eyes every time I'm with Gon these previous days.

Bisky accepted my offer, and we both walked together, out of the apartment that now looks like it was haunted. Once we moved out of the building, both of us released a deep sigh at the same time, as our sweats finally dropped on the floor.

We started walking towards the station of the town, as I was carrying her luggage, while Bisky was proudly walking like a madam in the street, trying to flirt with the adult men he can see. I kinda regret coming with her now, but this is better than staying home with that scary lady.

After minutes of walking, we finally made it to the station. She took a ticket and all she can do right now is to wait for the train to come and get her.

"I know you're not telling them anything," Bisky said as she just sitting in the waiting area, while I was about to drop her luggage and bid goodbye. "But you want to release the information that you've got."

After hearing what she said, I lowered my head, saying that what she said was partially true. I don't want to tell them, but I wanted someone to stay by my side and talked about these things.

"So why don't you burst everything to me?" She suggested, with both of her hands on her waist, trying to be mature-looking. We're almost at the same height, except I'm taller in small differences, and we're both look like little teenage girls, so it's hard to treat her like an old lady that she is. "Tell me... did something happen?"

I didn't answer for a few seconds until I sighed to release my nervousness and anxiety. I told her some of the information I knew during my days in the bunker, and everything that happened during the NGL.

"I see. That's why your arm released an intense Aura." Bisky said, with her thumb and fingers are hanging on her chin, trying to think deeply.

"It does?" I asked, couldn't believe that it released that much Aura.

"Yes. Since the last time I've met you." She answered my unanswerable question with her signature proud smile. "But when we started to train, you are slowly controlling the Aura released by it."

"Unlike the curse, the Conjurers or Emitters put on their target, Nen Beasts are usually pretty hard to remove." She started to explain, while I'm willing to listen. This turned out to be a Nen class after all. "I doubt that even a Nen Exorcist won't be able to remove it completely."

"What do you mean?" I asked halfway, interrupting her explanation.

"That means... even if he removed the distorted arm, there are still remains of the Nen Beast." She said. "You must find the source in order to get rid of it completely."

"But doing so with a Nen Exorcist might be a good start since it will reduce its power." She added, along with her smile.

I asked him about Pisacco if she knew someone with that name. But unfortunately, she shook her head 'no', which is very unfortunate for me.

"Since you said he's from NGL, why don't you investigate that place?" Bisky suggested as her train finally arrived, so she grabbed her luggage beside her. She pulled it like there's nothing heavy kept inside. "Go with Gon and Killua?"

After hearing her suggestion, I lowered my head and my eyes turned into slits, thinking of that plan. Come to think of it, Pisacco was originally found at NGL and was lost on sight because of those Chimera Ants. If I interrogate every Chimera Ant that I saw, or even better, going into their lair, then there's a chance that I can find him.

I nodded at her, agreed to her very plan. She finally entered her train and waved goodbye at me. I also did the same, as I waited for her train to vanish in my sight.

After that lesson with Bisky, I started to wander around the streets of the town, couldn't be able to think properly. I don't want to go back to that apartment yet, since Palm was still there.

I just walking on the street with no goal in mind at all, trying to arrange all of the ideas that I got from now until I stumbled into a part of the street that almost no person will walk through, full of garbage cans and street animals. If I joined Gon's group once they will go to NGL, then it would be an easy flight for me. But... I don't want to interrupt their mission of saving Kite or defeating the Chimera Ant. I might be a hindrance to them once they'll start defeating the enemy one by one.

What should I do?

"So you're here, huh?"

I was about to jump in my position, as I heard a creepy male voice coming from my head. And it's not just any voice. It's familiar to me. It's like I've heard it before.

"Who's there?!" I shouted loudly with my voice, and posed into my defensive stance and grabbed my bandages. There are no people around me, only me and the garbages and animals around.

"Your playmate, Maurice!!"

The killer voice said in a high-pitched tone, followed by a series of creepy and crazy laughter from the other line. I finally recognized his laugh and voice after seconds of thinking. He was the one who we encountered at the Greed Island!

Why is he here?

"And I came here to play with you."

Then, the voice was no longer coming from my head. I heard him whispering on my ear, feeling his breath on it. After that short moment of realization, I felt a sudden pain in my stomach. It was burning my whole body like acid.

I took a peek and the edge of a knife can be seen from the other side of my abdomen, covered with blood, my blood. I started to run out of the air, as I realized that I'm being stabbed. The blood continues to rush out of it.

I tried to use my Nen technique, but the blood loss made me tired and exhausted, couldn't do anything to myself, and all I wanted to do right now was to sleep.

No. This can't be happening. I can't die in a place like this. I can't die right now. I still have people to protect. I still have people to find. I still have an arm to remove.

"Show me your true power, Secco!" He yelled, followed by his laughter full of insanity and disgrace. He pressed the knife in my stomach more, making me feel more pain. I can't take this. I can't take this anymore. "Show me your arm!"

After that, my whole vision started to change, my mind started to get blurry, and I couldn't hear anything except the voice inside my head.

*Kill him. Kill him. Kill him.*

Without any hesitation, without any restraint, without anyone to stop me, I muttered the same words with my very own voice and my very own mind.

"Kill him."