Prologue

I left the house that night without telling anyone. My bag with all my clothes was hauled over my shoulder and my other things were in the trolley which I dragged behind me as I walked down the side - walk of broken dreams and street lights.

"What am I doing?" I questioned myself a tear rolling down my cheek as I half turned to the house I was running away from. My vision was already completely blurred thanks to the tears that were building up in my eyes. I stopped on the path and fell on my knees. I couldn't walk away from my life. I couldn't walk away from my dad at least not by myself. I was too afraid to. But for some reason I started praying. Praying to the God I never believed in.

"If you truly are strong and mighty like they say you are..." I started my voice shaky as I tried to hold back tears. "I ask for just one thing...I have never asked for anything from you before in my life and this time I ask for just one thing. We both know this world has no use for me. I know you regret creating me. You don't love me..." I voiced, unable to hold in my tears any longer I started to cry. "Instead of leaving me on this Earth to suffer, just kill me. Kill me! I don't want to live...Just kill me now and comfort my father when I'm gone. Just kill me now. Let anything happen because I want to die..."

I waited expecting a tree to come crashing down on me putting me out of my misery or a car to come flying out of nowhere killing me instantly.

But nothing happened except for a cold breeze that hit my face. I sniffed and got up from my knees. "Fine. If you won't kill me...I'll do it myself." I concluded wiping the tears from my eyes and turning to face the road. A few steps after and I was in the middle of it. From a very far distance I could make out a vehicle and I just stood there. I stood there ready to die.

"Rachael! Rachael!" I heard a voice shout as I could make out a figure running towards me. It was my dad. "Rachael what are you doing?" He questioned as he rushed up to me and pulled me back to the safety of the side - walk. "Were you trying to kill yourself...You promised me Rachael." He continued with a hand on my shoulder. I started crying again but this time the tears didn't stop coming. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry dad." I sobbed falling forward into his arms. "It's okay dear. Thank God I came out on time." He whispered stroking my hair as he held me tightly. "You're the only one I got Rachael. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you." He said.

I felt a drop of water fall onto my cheek and I looked up at my dad. He was crying too. He turned away from my gaze at my luggage. "Let's get you back inside." My dad suggested gently pushing me off him and taking me by the hand. "I...I can't." I uttered refusing to go with him inside.

"But why?" He inquired his eyes glistening with tears. "God hates me dad. And he's doing all this to make me suffer. It's my fault mum died. I should have been there for my brother...He needed me and I thought going to a party was more important. Everything in my life is just horrible...College, my social life and my love life...Just tell God to kill me so I won't continue to be a burden to the both of you." I sniffed running the hand that my dad wasn't holding through my brunette coloured hair.

"Don't say that Rachael. God loves you more than anything. You could have never known your brother would die that day and it wouldn't have made a difference if you were there for your mum or not. God makes everything happen for a reason. There's a reason behind all this." He pointed out hugging me firmly.

There was silence for a moment as we both just stood there on the path embracing and sobbing quietly. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry..." I continued to repeat like I was possessed. I broke out of the hug and ran into the road just as the vehicle I had seen from afar off approached. I took one last look at my dad whose eyes widened and mouth gaped open. It looked like he wanted to shout something but I didn't hear anything before I blacked out. All I saw was darkness. A peaceful darkness.