entry #15 | υηzïρ

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Honestly, not even (Y/n) herself knew what she was thinking sometimes.

Her main regret in life has always been letting that annoying kid down the road steal her spot in the lunch line in elementary school. If she could rewind time, she'd give that snobby-faced boy a well deserved socking.

But now it was definitely her idiocy and her forgetfulness. When she absentmindedly allowed Jasper to sign her up for the program, she hadn't taken into account she might have future projects and tests to work on. And being the smart person she isn't, she decided it was a great idea to surrender to Keller's pleading and go to his rugby game.

Which, according to his text, started at one in the afternoon. And she had a project to do with Reese and Leon on the same day. With a trip to the movies with the redhead after.

(Y/n) was starting to really regret her life decisions.

'Should I ask Reese if he's okay with going to a rugby game instead?' She pondered as she banged her head on her study table in her room. 'We could go to the game and then meet at his dorm with the zebra to do the project on the Holodomor. But then again, a promise is a promise. Curse my stupidity.'

She only hoped she didn't make any more stupid mistakes in the future. But then again her name was (Y/n) White. Stupid mistakes were kinda in the job description.

Her pen tapped rhythmically against the smooth surface of her desk. The textbook she had received from Tristan was shoved under her table, lost under the numerous other ones that probably belonged to the school. Probably.

Her desk was cluttered with books she'd left off in the middle, a little holder for her writing instruments and school supplies, and her favorite part; a little army of LINE character lights. She didn't even listen to BTS, but Isla was obsessed with them and in turn, introduced the (h/c)-haired girl to the world of LINE Friends. Her favorite was unsurprisingly, Koya.

Above the table was a shelf. The top row held a potted plant, the leafy vines cascading downwards over the white porcelain. Next to it were a few picture frames that captured the last happy moments of their entire family, before it was torn apart. Underneath it was two mugs side-by-side, one taller than the other. The first read "if found in the microwave, return to mom," and the second read "the walking dad."

Next to it was a small clock and then two white file holders, both filled with countless photo albums. Both largely empty, she knew.

She had a little lamp on her tamp as well that was often left unused. Unsorted papers and homework she had forgotten to turn in from last semester stuck out from between books and folders piled messily. In the center of all that chaos was a single white mug with the word "dream" written across it in cursive. Compared to the neglect the other items on her table received, this mug was thoroughly cleaned and taken care of. A few gel pens and brushes stuck out from the rim.

It was an important mug. Something nothing could ever replace since it was given to her by her—

Her phone began to ring. (Y/n) picked it up and glanced at the caller's name. It was Tristan. 'Oh Lord no, why now?' She screamed internally. 'I don't want to talk to this popsicle face again today. Uh...what do I do?'

She pulled open her drawer in her desk and shoved her phone in, slamming the drawer shut. 'Let's pretend nothing happened.' The phone rang for a few more minutes before falling silent. The girl let out a sigh of relief. 'Whew, I just avoided certain death.'

(Y/n) has seen enough of his face for the week. Just thinking of his haughty tone and his flippant show of superiority made her seeth internally. 'I thought those kinds of people only exist in books and movies,' she mused. 'Well, I guess it's pretty convenient for me to have most of my project partners in one place. I could run away whenever I want! I bet sunflower wouldn't mind. But Trish...'

She cringed. 'Happy thoughts, (Y/n). Happy thoughts.' She finally found someone more infuriating than Kieran.

The (h/c)-haired girl decided to distract herself before her thoughts took a turn for the dark and the bloody. 'I need to claim my login reward for KsF before time runs out!' She retrieved her laptop from her bag and placed it on the table. She quickly logged into the game. 'I'm leveling so quickly that it's almost scary.'

She sent a quick text to Reese asking if he would be on later. 'I'll ask him about the rugby game in the game,' she promised herself. 'Would that make me a bad friend? Urggg...you know what? I'm just going to sacrifice my sleep tomorrow. I'll see if we can manage a rugby game on top of the project and movie. If I die tomorrow, I need to make sure dad knows to bury me in a sea of pillows.'

Life lesson #1: Always keep an eye on your schedule. Time management is important, folks.

~ ❀ ~

tracer404: Hi vanilla!

tracer404: I'm clearing a few dungeons with my party, and we need one more member. Then I noticed you're on. Do you want to join us?

vanillabits3: oh sure

tracer404: Okay! The captain is keltzer30. He should be sending you an invite soon.

vanillabits3: alright

~ ❀ ~

(Y/n) received the notification a few seconds later. 'Player keltzer30 has sent you a party invite. Accept?' She agreed, and her character began to teleport to the party. When she reappeared, she was surrounded by four other players, one of them she recognized to be tracer404. The rest of the three were male.

'Keltzer30, huh?' She thought. 'That name sounds familiar...'

~ ❀ ~

kamisama4: hellooo new blood

keltzer30: stop that, jason

keltzer30: sorry, this guy here's a little off his rocker so don't mind him

kamisama4: excuse me sir you need to step out

vanillabits3: lol it's fine

tracer404: Vanilla, meet kami, kels, and therealninja. Guys, meet vanilla.

therealninja: osu

keltzer30: hey! also nicholas that's martial arts

therealninja: you don't tell me what to do

therealninja: im a ninja you lowly commoner

kamisama4: ah don't worry. he's just mad kels chose the samurai class

kamisama4: something about bad blood between them and ninjas

vanillabits3: kels...wait

kamisama4: wut

vanillabits3: keltzer

keltzer30: yeah?

vanillabits3: by any chance do you play rugby?

kamisama4: bro you got a STALKER!!

therealninja: don't be afraid! my ninja skillz will fight them off!

keltzer30: chill guys she's probably someone i know

keltzer30: yea i play. why?

kamisama4: nah bro this is why cybersecurity is a thing

kamisama4: stranger danger amirite?

therealninja: im coming over to your place kels

therealninja: gotta set up some cameras

keltzer30: right now?

kamisama4: bro you ain't even trying to be a ninja anymore

therealninja: yes, kels and stfu gayson

kamisama4: exCUSe me??

vanillabits3: ok so

vanillabits3: does rugby game on sunday ring any bells?

therealninja: omg its a real stal-

keltzer30: shut up nicholas

keltzer30: are you...(Y/n)?

therealninja: it's NICK

vanillabits3: keller!

keltzer30: (Y/n)! i didn't know you played this too

kamisama4: ohhh you mean one of those chicks we sat with on thursday?

therealninja: there were also like two guys

kamisama4: jas is cool. he's like my new best friend

kamisama4: and reese is funny af

therealninja: i ain't helping you kidnap anyone this time

kamisama4: dude you make me sound like i do this on a regular basis!

tracer404: I begin to think I'm partying with rather dangerous characters.

vanillabits3: lmao i feel you

keltzer30: that makes three of us...

vanillabits3: hi jason and nicholas

therealninja: it's NICK

therealninja: N

therealninja: I

therealninja: C

therealninja: K

kamisama4: bro lets be real for a sec

kamisama4: is it really smart to reveal our real names like this

keltzer30: i mean we already know everyone's names here

vanillabits3: really? tracer too?

tracer404: Yup! My name is Yeo-Jeong, but you can call me June. Nice to meet you!

vanillasbit3: ah im (Y/n) but keller already said that

therealninja: im ninja

kamisama4: no you're not. you're nicholas

therealninja: shh bro! what if she's pretending to be (Y/n)?

therealninja: mind if i do a background check on you real quick?

vanillabits3: knock yourself out

kamisama4: he's not even trying anymore

keltzer30: agreed

therealninja: mmm yes i see i see

keltzer30: i don't see

therealninja: vanillabits3, level 95, 1.3M cp

therealninja: unranked

therealninja: background check complete. you are indeed vanilla

vanillabits3: i thought this was about whether im (Y/n) or not

therealninja: wut

vanillabits3: what

keltzer30: bro

tracer404: Are you good?

kamisama4: the real question is

kamisama4: are you a ninja?

therealninja: OBVIOUSLY

therealninja: i can even read japanese! your name means god

kamisama4: i mean you're not wrong. but i was trying to go with hair

kamisama4: cuz you know, kami also means hair

keltzer30: we don't need to hear about your hair for another hour again, jason

kamisama4: why not??? don't you want to know about how i-

vanillabits3: please no

tracer404: I may not know you guys for very long, but I've suffered through one of your stories before. Never again.

keltzer30: see? even the girls don't want to hear it

therealninja: feels bad bro

kamisama4: don't bro me a**hat

vanillabits3: a**hat

therealninja: a**hat

therealninja: why

therealninja: just why

kamisama4: i hate you guys >:(

keltzer30: hey don't steal my line!

kamisama4: I HATE YOU GUYS!

tracer404: Let's do the dungeon now, okay?

vanillabits3: waitttt

therealninja: naNI??

keltzer30: please don't nicholas

therealninja: nAni

vanillabits3: how big is a party in this game?

tracer40: Maximum of 6 players. Why?

vanillabits3: ah thanks

vanillasbits3: my friend is on. can he join?

keltzer30: who?

vanillabits3: reese, remember him?

therealninja: MY BROTHER

therealninja: ADD ADD ADD

kamisama4: calm your t*ts dude

therealninja: b-but i don't have t*ts

keltzer30: actually you do

kamisama4: ever heard of man b**bs?

therealninja: im too ripped for that so no

kamisama4: why you always lyiNG

therealninja: stop exposing me all the time!!

vanillabits3: ill just ask him then...

keltzer30: you do that

keltzer30: sorry about them, june, (Y/n)

tracer404: I mean, I'm used to it now.

keltzer30: i'm so sorry...

~ ❀ ~

vanillabits3: reesy reese reese

vanillabits3: reeses pieces cheezits

vanillabits3: tomato tomahto child

vanillabits3: pink marshmallow

chocobits3: can we not with the last two

chocobits3: what's up? :D

vanillabits3: you didn't text me bAck

chocobits3: forgive me i was busy!! >~<

vanillabits3: i have a free spot in my party

vanillabits3: wanna join

chocobits3: okay!

~ ❀ ~

therealninja: my boy REESE

therealninja: ready to learn more ninjutsu?

chocobits3: on it shishou!

keltzer30: stop teaching him weird things nicholas

kamisama4: yeah you're polluting his innocent mind

vanillabits3: i mean assuming his mind was innocent to begin with

chocobits3: (N/n) why you gotta do me like that?? T-T

vanillabits3: am i wrong?

chocobits3: T-T

kamisama4: you can't be into kinkier things than kels

kamisama4: you should f*cking see his search history lmfao!

keltzer30: JASON!

kamisama4: i'd tell you but this game's auto censor won't allow it xD

tracer404: Can we change the topic please?

therealninja: give me a second im meditating

chocobits3: shishou why are you meditating?

kamisama4: yeah why the f*ck are you doing that?

therealninja: call me master

therealninja: one must meditate and empty his mind of all impure thoughts to achieve Nirvana

vanillabits3: im not a whiz at history but i think you got something wrong there

keltzer30: i don't think buddhism works that way nicholas

therealninja: oh yea? how would you know??

tracer404: You have to go through the Eightfold Path. Have you done that?

therealninja: details, details

therealninja: i took a shortcut

keltzer30: it doesn't work that way!

chocobits3: eh it doesn't? :0

vanillabits3: don't tell me you're-

chocobits3: yup! i'm standing on my head right now :D

vanillabits3: what-

keltzer30: you-

kamisama4: someone give this boy a medal

kamisama4: and you were saying about him being impure?

vanillabits3: im sorry sir i was wrong

tracer404: Um, dungeon anyone?

therealninja: oh yea i really need to clear that boss

keltzer30: reese you are another species entirely

vanillabits3: someone actually understands me

chocobits3: how rude! i am 100% human!

vanillabits3: 50% tomato and 5000% reeses pieces

chocobits3: oh yea that too-wait no!

vanillabits3: no takebacks

chocobits3: i use my uno reverse card!

vanillabits3: i don't see it so it doesn't count-

vanillabits3: did you seriously just text me the picture?

chocobits3: :P

kamisama4: HAhAHA

therealninja: uh dungeon anyone?

vanillabits3: you are the most extra person i've ever met

chocobits3: >:3

therealninja: hello?

tracer404: Dungeon...?

keltzer30: this will go on forever

keltzer30: let's do the dungeon now, okay?

vanillabits3: k

kamisama4: sure

chocobits3: okay!

therealninja: FINALLY!

~ ❀ ~

Halfway into the dungeon, Reese and Jason got into a fight on whether Marvel or DC was better. To be frank, (Y/n) did not understand anything they were saying and decided to treat their bickering as background music while Keller did his best to stop them.

"Marvel is way better!" The redhead was protesting. "How can you not like Spiderman? He's a SPIDER! In a red costume!"

"Okay, bro," Jason snorted. "I get you have an affinity with everything red, but have you seen Batman? That dude's wicked. He got the villainess and heroness down in one package. How could an overgrown spider beat that?"

"Guys," Keller tried to placate the two. "Let's discuss this in a civilized manner, okay—"

"We are civilized!" The two cut him off. "Fine, what about Wolverine?" Reese continued. "Those claws—"

"Dumbsh*t, we got Superman—"

"No one cares about Superman!"

She heard the sound of someone clapping their hands together and chanting. "Rin, kyou, tou, sha, kai, retsu, zai, jin, zen—"

"Shut up, Nicholas!" Jason screeched. "Stop trying to exorcise me!"

"Idiot!" The mohawk-haired boy yelled back. "Who wants to exorcise the likes of you? I ain't wasting my rosary beads on you!"

"Why do you even have those?!"

"'Cuz I'm a ninja," Nicholas said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"That's not even a ninja anymore, Nicholas," Keller sighed. "And Jason, please, turn it down. My ears are—"

"Who cares about your ears?" Jason shrieked. "Someone teach this boy why DC is better than Marvel!"

"Hell no!" Reese snapped, nearly breaking (Y/n)'s eardrums. "It's Marvel for the win!"

"You bloody arse, we got Flash for f*ck's sake!"

The was the screeching of a chair being pushed back. "Oh yeah?" The red-haired male retorted. "We have more relatable and realistic characters. Who the hell wants to watch a middle-aged dude in spandex fly around all day?"

"B*tch, I'll whoop your a—"

(Y/n) decided it was a good time to mute the voice chat before her built-in censoring tools stopped working. She's beginning to really regret her life choice of only associating with aliens. Maybe normal humans were not so bad after all.

A picture of a certain light blue-haired male's face appeared in her head. 'Scratch that.' Aliens were the only beings she would befriend in this lifetime.

'I was probably an alien in my past life,' the (h/c)-haired girl mused. 'Yup, that makes perfect sense.' She bought an alien costume from the game shop and equipped it with her character, concealing her features. Now her character was a fat, blue creature with three eyes and two antennas running around with a pair of guns. Vanilla? More like blueberry bubblegum.

Moments later, she received another message in her inbox as her character began shooting wildly like it was drunk. It was from June, who hadn't joined the voice chat. She had explained she wasn't exactly comfortable with that just yet.

(Y/n) really wished she could switch places with the other girl right now. Her ears were still bleeding.

'Are they still fighting?' June asked. (Y/n) had told her over text about the idiotic behavior of the boys in their party.

'What else would they be doing?' She texted back. 'Hugging each other and crying about the Titanic?'

That was what they were doing, actually. The two's argument had taken a random turn in the direction of movies, and Reese and Jason were currently sobbing their eyes out about the ending of Titanic while Nicholas mumbled sutras under his breath.

Keller, on the other hand, was at his wit's end. (Y/n) would feel bad but she didn't have enough energy to do that.

'At least we cleared the stages,' (Y/n) wrote. 'If we didn't I'll blast Beaver's songs into their ears every time they call me. Or whatever his name is. Beeber?'

'It's Bieber,' June snorted. 'That's some cruel and unusual punishment.'

'You think?'

Out of the many songs Isla has forced her to listen to, Baby was definitely the most memorable one. And not in a good way.

Recently it had been Blood Sweat & Tears by BTS but she didn't know what she felt about it. It wasn't exactly her favorite pastime to listen to songs she didn't understand. But she had to admit; their voices were pretty good despite her lack of comprehension. Plus, Korean was a beautiful language.

But she finally drew the line once Isla started invading her home and putting up BTS posters everywhere. Waking up to see a bunch of smooth and shiny faces every day wasn't exactly what (Y/n) would call a pleasant wakeup call.

Were they attractive? She didn't know. Her only basis of beauty were her friends. And she was pretty sure Lucinda and Jasper were the prettiest people she knew. She had long lost count the blonde's number of boyfriends and the number of times girls had gone up to her to give their love letters to Jasper.

There were two problems wrong with that scenario. Love letters still exist? 'Damn, that took guts,' (Y/n) admitted. And two, why would they ever think it would be a good idea to entrust their important letter to a girl who could barely stay awake on her feet?

'They probably knew I am such a responsible child,' she nodded to herself. 'Ha, beat that Reese. I am more responsible than you after all. Can't ever beat Jas though.'

~ ❀ ~

tracer404: How's life for you?

vanillabits3: same ol same ol

vanillabits3: school sucks

tracer404: I can relate...my school's very competitive and has pretty high standards.

vanillabits3: you also in the uk?

tracer404: Yeah! You too?

vanillabits3: mhm

tracer404: The UK's a nice place, but I want to travel more.

tracer404: Even the best places get boring after a while, you know what I mean?

vanillabits3: we could use better food too

tracer404: Lol it's not that bad.

vanillabits3: i dare you to say that again with your hand on the bible

tracer404: I'm atheist.

vanillabits3: well i am too but those are just details

tracer404: Okay, I admit it. British food isn't the best.

vanillabits3: no duh

vanillabits3: i wanna live in korea

vanillabits3: or china. vietnam works too

tracer404: Pho is so good...there aren't many good places to get it where I live.

vanillabits3: oof same. now im hungry

vanillabits3: im going to order some chinese food real quick

tracer404: Have a nice dinner! I'm going to log off now too.

vanillabits3: thanks im so healthy. see you

tracer404: :)

~ ❀ ~

'This is the life,' (Y/n) sighed happily. 'I'm really living it right now.' Had it been taken out of context, an onlooker might've believed the (h/c)-haired girl was on drugs.

She was situated on her bedroom floor and surrounded by countless takeout boxes, plastic and paper alike. The girl removed the lid on each of ten slowly in a ritualistic manner, taking time to inhale the mouth-watering aroma of the freshly cooked foods. Fried noodles, fried dumplings, pork buns, hot and sour soup, chili and teriyaki chicken, and spring rolls. She was about to order more, but her wallet wasn't fat enough.

An obese wallet is a happy wallet. And a happy wallet is a happy (Y/n).

Steam rose off the foods in faded white strands. She closed her bedroom door lest her father arrived home early and stole her food. On their apartment floor, the White Residence food fights were a famous spectacle to listen to.

She slid the disposable wooden chopsticks out of their red paper sleeve and snapped them apart. 'That sound is so satisfying. Time to eat!'

As she scarfed down the food with minimal movement like there was no tomorrow, she heard the distinctive sound of her front door opening and closing, and then a masculine voice call, "Sweetheart, I'm home!"

'Oh crap, he's going to kill me!' (Y/n) froze and then tried hiding the takeout boxes. But it was no use; there were too many of them. She settled with shoving them behind her back and she stared innocently at her door. It opened, and her father peeked into the room.

"Hi, dad," she waved at him. "Just...um, doing my homework."

Her father raised an eyebrow. "On the floor and surrounded by Chinese food?" She shrugged and grinned sheepishly.

"It's an experiment to see which food tastes best."

"Yeah?" He took a seat on her chair and looked around her bedroom. "And which one's winning?"

"That's debatable. It's either the hot and sour soup or the pork buns."

The man chuckled and reached forward. "Can I have one?" He swiped a pair of chopsticks from the plastic bag and stole a fried dumpling without waiting for an answer. He took a bite. "Oh, this is good. Not too oily like those sham Chinese places."

Her eyebrows dipped down into a frown. "Stop stealing my food, dad," she protested half-heartedly. "I was waiting all day for this...!"

"Come on, you can spare a little for your old man, right?"

The (h/c)-haired girl rolled her eyes and threw a napkin at him. "We both know you're not that old yet, dad. You haven't...even reached the age for retirement."

"I'm already 55 though," he whined. "Even though it feels like it was just yesterday when I was still young. Ack, my old bones are killing me."

'He's a teenager trapped in a middle-aged geezer's body,' (Y/n) sighed.

"Anyway, let's talk about school." His smile was blinding, not allowing her to protest. "Any new friends?"

"A few...but it's still mostly just me, Reese and the others."

"Ah, Hunter's son? I like that boy. When are you two getting m—"

"Dad," (Y/n) scowled. "Izzy likes"—Wait, I can't say that! She hurriedly corrected herself—"I mean, someone I know likes him. It would be weird. And...he's just a friend."

Her father let out a relieved sigh and cracked his knuckles. "As much as I respect Hunter, there's no way I'm giving my favorite daughter to his son! Not over my dead body!"

"First of all...I'm your only daughter."

He waved it off. "Those are just details," he scoffed. "It's the sentiment that matters. More importantly, are you dating anyone behind my back?"

'Oh Lord,' she groaned internally. "Have I ever shown any interest in...relationships in my whole life?" Aaron tapped his chin and shook his head. "Exactly. Why would I start now? Relationships...are a pain."

"At this point, you're going to say life is a pain," her dad snorted.

"I know right."

"You're not supposed to agree!" He cried. "What happened to my sweet daughter who always said just the darndest things, like when you were five—"

(Y/n)'s eyes widened and she choked on her bite of a spring roll. "Wait, dad, don't—"

"You said you loved us fivever!" The blond man wiped a tear from his eyes as he reminisced about the past. "Wait, I bet I still have that picture on my phone..."

"I'm not sure if I want to know...but what's 'fivever?'"

"You don't remember? You said it was more than forever!"

"Okay, we can stop now—"

"And that time we and Hunter's family went to this museum," he continued as if not hearing her. "I forget the name, but it was something about slavery. You started glaring at the portrait of George Orwell and Hunter's youngest son—Reese, correct?—said it was stupid of them to own slaves and segregate people because everyone, his words not mine, urinates the same color—"

If (Y/n) allowed her father to keep talking, he could easily talk well into the next morning. Her ears would fall off. "I get it, dad," she interrupted his rant. "You feel too old. Do you want a massage?"

His eyes lit up. "Ooh, yes please, sweetheart." She peeled herself off the floor and walked behind the chair he was sitting in and began poking at his shoulders.

"We might have one of those automatic massagers somewhere," Aaron laughed, long used to his daughter's laziness. "Would you like to use that instead?"

Her arms were already starting to ache. "Please."

"Alright, it should be somewhere in my room. Maybe on top of my dresser."

"Okayyy." She left her father in her room and made her way to his down the hall. His room was relatively austere compared to hers, with white walls, tall windows framed by long, gray curtains, and a closet and cabinet standing next to each other. In the corner was a white work table paired with a matching chair. His computer was turned off and stacks of files and papers decorated the table with its "organized chaos," as her father liked to call it.

A clock hung above the bed. Underneath it used to be lines of photographs, she remembered. Photographs of her, her father, and her late mother. Some would even have the younger Reese in it since his family and hers have been close ever since childhood. But now the walls were bare.

Her first friend when settling down was, in fact, the red-haired male. But that wasn't her story to tell—she couldn't remember what happened.

Her gaze swept across the room in search of the massager that her father claimed was on his dresser. Unsurprisingly enough, it was not. Both the (h/c)-haired girl and her father shared the same unorganized traits.

A photograph on his nightstand caught her attention. (Y/n) walked up to it and picked the picture up. 'Oh, I remember this!' It was a picture of her as a kid on the beach with her mother. She had a stupid look on her face as she looked into the camera, her eyes hooded and almost falling over. Her mother was smiling brightly, clad in a sundress with a pair of sunglasses on her head as she hugged her daughter.

Her mother was a beautiful woman. It wasn't her outer appearance most people would call beautiful—she was pretty at most—but instead her smile. Her father had told her once that her mother's smile was what made him fall in love with her. Sweet, gentle, and full of life, the Paisley had the golden hair and ocean blue eyes to match the fairytale look. But life always took the kindest and those most deserving to live away first.

There was no happy ending in their fairytale.

Or will there be?