February 21, 2021: Companion

For a short while, Konrad could only hear Felix suppressing his cries. 

Konrad didn't have the urge to cry. He never did. 

It wasn't because he thought that it was an effeminate way of showing his grief. If anything, he would prefer to collapse after a long night of crying. In that way, he would forget what had happened to Ilya. He would forget that she was fighting for her life in his stead. 

He would forget the possibility that he would lose her. 

It was painful. Everything. 

But instead of having the desire to cry, he was filled with rage. It was as if his body was burning, his insides quivering. The only urge he had was to direct his rage at those who had wronged Ilya. 

When it came down to it, he was also at fault.