Voices

"We have to do something about this," Dor said as Max came into the dining room, all bedhead and swollen eyes.

"About what exactly?" Max asked, looking at Dor sipping tea and reading the newspaper.

"Sometimes you behave like an old man, you know that?" Max took a seat beside him as the maids came and placed tea along with crumpets in front of him.

"I've been told." He looked at him from the cup as he took another sip. He folded the newspaper and placed it to the side.

"You want to talk about Kaia, right?" Max ate a bit of the crumpet and was surprised by its taste.

"Never had crumpets before?" Ran mused as he watched Max with amusement. "And yes. I'm worried about her."

"I only eat Shia's baking." He took another bite of the crumpet.

"How's this then?"

"It's ok." He ate the rest of it and took another one. "What?"

"Nothing. I was just thinking, we should talk to Kaia today. Properly."

Max nodded, his mouth full with crumpets. He took a sip of his tea to help him swallow. When they went to focusing on their breakfast, the sound of glass shattering filled the house.

They both exchanged looks and ran to the upstairs bathroom.

♣

Kaia was in the shower of the upstairs bathroom, letting the hot water burn her skin. She washed the blood off her body and inspected it. It doesn't seem like she got hurt anywhere, so where did the blood come from?

It couldn't be . . .

She looked between her legs but no blood flowed down and she didn't feel any pain anywhere. So she ruled that out. Kind of.

Some of the maids came in and left clothes for Kaia when she was about to start bathing. They asked her if she needed anything but she just shook her head and sent them away.

Stepping out of the shower, Kaia felt another presence in the room but no matter where she looked, she couldn't find anyone.

Deciding to ignore it, Kaia wore the clothes then wiped the fog off the mirror. Her dream still bothered her so much that she wanted a look at her face.

When she did that, a normal face looked back at her. No swells of flesh, nothing but she couldn't recognise the person in the mirror. It looks like her but she knows it isn't her. It looks a little too much like . . . her mother.

The reflection contorted its face and looked at her in disgust, mounting the words, "you're not my daughter."

Kaia pressed her hands onto the mirror trying to touch the reflection but the reflection faded away and there she was, in her old face. She smiled at her and spoke. Her reflection could SPEAK. She sounded exactly like her phone voice did.

"Do you really think you're good now? You're a hypocrite. You want others to remain as they are even if they are so badly bullied and you? Look at you. You changed your look to fit society's standard. Do you really have the right to think the way you do?"

"I've been able to accomplish so much more just because I changed my face. My life before was worse than this one." She replied to her reflection.

"True. You're able to accomplish more than before but do you think that it's because of your face? Isn't it just because you now know what's going to happen? Admit it, you've always wanted to betray your mother and change your face. You're just using this as an excuse."

"That's not true."

"Besides that time with the woman that likes your father, when has your face helped you? You still get bullied and let's not forget . . . you left Faith alone, knowing what happened to her. Before you had nothing to do with it, now. Whatever happens to her is your fault."

"I had to leave, to find Dorran." Kaia answered, getting agitated.

"No. You just wanted to leave that school before the bullying became as bad as it was. You even waited until the very last moment to save Shia. Did you want to make a grand entrance or something? So many things could have gone wrong if you were even a second late."

"Shia's fine isn't she and Dorran helped me save Aliya's aunt and uncle."

Her reflection laughed. "Save you say? You live till nineteen years. You were twelve when you 'saved' her aunt and uncle. Which means you have around six or seven years to give them. They both get three and something years each. You extended their life for only three more years. But sure, you did a great job. Not just that, you allowed a huge scar to appear on Shia's face. You did that. Congratulations."

Kaia kept quiet, she didn't think anything like that. She thought she's been helping them as much as she could but there were many things she overlooked.

"You just want to be accepted in this world. You just want to be significant because you were completely useless and unloved in your past life."

Kaia covered her ears with her hands, but her voice rung even louder in her head.

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

"You think you did an amazing job just because some things went your way and you got cocky. When you couldn't save your father, you could feel your usefulness slipping so you go and kill that man, that's the one thing you have control over. You intervened at the last moment for Shia because you wanted to kill more people, proving to yourself that you can do something. That your actions can lead to something good. When you feel you can't control something, you become physical. You didn't kill them to save Shia, you did it for yourself. That's all you've ever cared about. You."

Shutup. Shutup. Shutup. Shutup. Shutup.

"You never regretted changing your face, did you? You basked in what it gave you, freedom to go wherever you wanted to without getting looks from people. You discarded your mother for your father's affection. After all, the only time he saw you as his daughter was when you decided to forget your moth-"

Kaia punched the mirror, as blood trickled down the broken shards her reflection smiled at her again and mouthed, "Told you so."

She could see her mother and her friends behind her reflection, looks of disappointment to her.

Kaia kept punching the mirror, she didn't want to see that look on them nor did she want to see her reflection smile at her another time.

Shutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutup-

"Kaia?" Dor knocked on the door. "Are you ok in there?"

"Move." Max walked to the door and kicked it down. "Kaia."

They stopped as they entered the door and saw the mirror in pieces, covered in blood. Kaia was still punching the mirror but gentler now and making incoherent noises.

"Kaia? Kaia. Stop." Max walked to her and grabbed her hands. She had a frantic look in her eyes as she continued to shake her head and tried to talk over and over again.

She looked like she was begging to Max about something, but he just couldn't understand her. So he held her twitching body tight while being as gentle as he could. Her hands stained his shirt and jacket.

"Sae! Could you please bring the first aid kit to the upstairs bathroom?" Dor called down the hall.

"Yes, young master!"

"Thank you."

Dor looked at Kaia and Max, he felt so complicated on what to do. Caitlyn will want him to tell them everything but can he do that? This is for Kaia to tell.

But, in her state, can she?

♣

"How's she?" Dor asked, coming out of his room as he got ready to go out.

Max scratched the back of his neck and looked inside the room, "They had to give her a Propofol shot because she trashed and attacked anyone that came close to her."

"Except you, right?" Ran retorted. "Well, you take care of her. I have some business to take care of. See you later."

And he was out the door.

Max just stood there, remembering how desperately she clung on to him, accidentally scratching him in some places and he too, wouldn't allow them to touch her when they approached with the injection.

She never looked that scared before and I just wanted to take her away from everything at that moment.

After they managed to convince him that it's nothing harmful; he, very very reluctantly, helped them inject her by holding her down.

The look of betrayal in Kaia's face to him is enough to make him want to jump off a cliff at full speed if that'll mean she never looks at him like that again.

He walked to the room, seeing her sleep peacefully now, and her wounds tended to; did nothing to elevate the stabbing pain in his chest.

After the maids left, he closed the door and slid to the ground, leaning against it. He clenched his teeth and dug his fingernails into his palms.

♣

"Kaia. No!"

Max grabbed the book she was going to throw at the maids from Kaia. She clung onto him the moment he came to her side, shaking like a leaf.

How many days has it been? She couldn't tell nor did she care anymore.

"I'm here. I'm here." He would sit beside her and tell her stories or jokes, barely able to get a reaction out of her. But he could tell that she appreciated it, with the little twinkle in her eyes.

Ever since she woke up she's been frightened of everything and everyone, except Max. All Kaia could see was her old face on everyone, just smiling and taunting her.

When Max was there, they didn't try to make their way to her. But the moment he left, they start coming for her so that they can drag her down like those hands in her dreams.

Sometimes her mother will come to visit her in the dark. Only to tell her how disappointed she is in her.

She could even see the dead look at her with pity. The same look people used to give her.

"How sad it is to be alive."

Don't look at me with those faces. Not again. I thought they would stop. Please don't look at me like that.

Stop looking at me like that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do it. Mum. I'm sorry.

"Kaia. I brought food." Max would come in, smiling at her.

It doesn't matter what everything else told her, as long as he's there beside her, it's ok.

I'm sane. As long as he is here.

♣

"Kaia. How are you doing?" Dor entered the room slowly, trying not to startle her.

She sighed in relief. He looks normal. At least he looks normal too. Then she saw the old her behind him smiling at her.

He took a seat beside Kaia and look at her. She looked so tired, a hint of insanity in her eyes. Other than fear and anxiety.

She didn't look at him, her gaze remains on the wall.

What is she so scared of?

Feeling frustrated, he took Kaia's hand. "It's been days, Kaia. You have as much life in you as every plant I looked after. And that's not good, really not good. Look at me, Kaia. Should I call Caitlyn?"

Tears came to her eyes with a hint of emotion for the first time in days when she heard her name. She opened her mouth and tried to say 'Caitlyn'.

Taking that as a confirmation, he ran down the stairs, there were some calls to be made, whether he liked it or not.

♣

"Alex!" Dorran walked out of his room, buttoning his shirt up.

"Yes, young master?" Alex appeared below the stairwell.

"Get the car. No, the limo. We have some places we have to visit."

"What places?" Max asked from the door opposite to Dorran. He crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at Dorran.

"I had to do it." Dor looked at him straight in the eyes. "For her sake."

"I don't blame you. If you hadn't I would have. So, you're going to pick them up?"

"Yes. But I have a place I need to visit before I do that. Look after her and make sure she doesn't hurt herself again. Its four days and she's already gotten hurt more times than I have in a year. Well, physically." He wore the jacket Caitlyn got him over the dress shirt and black pants with the sneakers.

Max looked him up, down and nodded at him.

"What?" He narrowed his eyes at him.

"You can actually dress. I'm impressed." He teased.

"Whatever. I'll see you later. Take care of Kaia. Otherwise, Caitlyn will have my head on a golden platter."

"Sure."