Filthy Deceit

"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."

-Elbert Hubbard

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"You don't have to worry about getting lost when I'm here." the sincerity with which he said that resonated in his voice and made me want to believe in his words, even if it were just for a moment. 

He turned around and smiled at me, nearly blinding me with the brightness of it. His warm smile made him look like a completely different person, it made him look more open. He no longer looked like the grumpy and reserved person that I pegged him to be. He looked much younger and carefree, and I found myself actually wanting to be friends with him.

It was surprising how a smile managed to make even the most intimidating person look friendly. Perhaps that's how serial killers lured you in and made you trust them... before killing you and proving what an incredible idiot you were.

I was taken aback by my own realisation, feeling surprised how by quickly he managed to make me feel comfortable in his presence. Despite his as I felt the air being knocked out of me. His warm smile made me feel strange and I quickly shook my head to clear it.

His words were strangely reassuring, and eased some of the darkness that had surrounded me. I marveled at his ability to calm me, seeing how he was practically a stranger to me. Maybe it was one of his superpowers...the thought intimidated me. What if he was a better superhero than I was?

Or even worse! What if he was a serial killer in disguise?

The strong smell of coffee seemed to bring me back to life as we entered the cafeteria. The bitter aroma surrounding us now was a much needed respite from the astringent odors of antiseptic and ethanol. The smell of alcohol had nearly burned through my nostrils and made breathing difficult.

They should put a warning on that crap 'Caution, this shiet will potentially burn away all your nose hair. Good luck breathing after that!'

This place was surprisingly alive and buzzing with conversations and laughter. It was such a stark contrast to the dreary atmosphere of the hospital that it made me forget momentarily that this was also a part of the hospital.

It helped to ease my anxiety, seeing that although this was a hospital- a place regularly graced by the darkness of death. These people could still smile and go on with life. It gave me strength and told me that I wasn't an idiot to still 'hope'.

The place was lined with plain white chairs and tables, but the cheerful atmosphere filled in for the lack of color. The only indication of this being a part of the hospital were the white coats draped across the backs of the chairs, I wondered how "You don't have to worry about getting lost when I'm here." He turned towards me and smiled. I felt taken aback as I felt the air being knocked out of me. His warm smile made me feel strange and I quickly shook my head to clear it

His words were strangely reassuring, and eased some of the darkness that had surrounded me. I marveled at his ability to calm me, seeing how he was practically a stranger to me.

The strong smell of coffee seemed to bring me back to life as we entered the cafeteria. The bitter aroma was a much needed respite from the astringent odors of antiseptic and ethanol. This place was alive and buzzing with conversations and laughter. It was such a stark contrast to the dreary atmosphere of the hospital that it made me forget momentarily that this was also a part of the hospital.

The place was lined with plain white chairs and tables, it was as if they were trying hard to remind anyone who got in here that 'hey hey don't get ahead of yourself. This is still supposed to the boring old hospital'. But the cheerful atmosphere seemed to wholeheartedly defy this as it filled in for the lack of color by it's liveliness. 

The only indication of this being a part of the hospital were the white coats draped across the backs of the chairs, I wondered how depressing it was for these people to encounter death daily…did death lose its gravity for them after being conditioned to observe it so closely.

Perhaps being a doctor was harder than I thought. The trauma of seeing a person lose everything they garnered in this world and 'move on'. Leaving behind broken hearts and perhaps irreparable emptiness in their lives

 "Hey Mr. Mishra did you ever wonder how hard it is for the doctors?" 

"I know how difficult it is Miss Siddique. I wanted to become one myself at some point in my life. But as you see, that didn't happen. I couldn't handle seeing others in pain. And more importantly I couldn't inflict pain on others..... and-" he looked away, walking a bit faster to get away from me.

But his abrupt stop made me intrigued and made me want to know what it was, so I increased my pace to keep up with him "Why did you stop Mr. Mishra? And what were you saying? Please continue I promise I won't say anything."

I was quite sure I'd say something, but for now I hoped he didn't see through my attempt at deceit.

"It's nothing Miss Siddique, don't think about it. I'm just an irrelevant employee of your father after all, there's no need for you to know about it." He smoothly replied, effectively evading my question.

But I wasn't going to let it go so easily, I'd play it dirty if I had to. But he had intrigued my curiosity and I wouldn't rest till I had satisfied it.

"Mr. Mishra, that is absolutely false. I don't care if you're an employee of my Baba, you brought me here to him when he needed me. That automatically made you special." I looked away, gathering strength to deal him the final blow.

"A-and I'm hurt. You won't t-trust me enough to tell me what it is do you?" I stuttered, purposely adding hurt and pain into my voice to elicit guilt in him. I looked up and have him my best puppy dog face that I knew would definitely deal him a perfect K.O.

The only person it didn't work on was brother. And Mr. Mishra was totally powerless against it.

"Miss Siddique, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. It's embarrassing to tell this to you. But I guess it won't hurt me to tell you." He turned his face towards the ceiling, letting me from in satisfaction at my perfect win. He was perhaps praying for strength to do his great embarassing reveal "Well, I didn't take medicine because I am afraid of needles."

He turned red again, making marvel at his ability to blush so easily. But what surprised me even more was that a strong man like him was afraid of a tiny needle. I could help the loud peal of laughter that escaped me, earning me a glare from Mr Mishra.

"You promised me you won't laugh, I didn't know you were a liar Miss." He stomped away from me in irritation, taking long strides to out run me.

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I couldn't help it, stop Mr Mishra." He turned around and raised an eyebrow at me. Tapping his foot on the white polished tiles, he looked intimidating and the expression on his face quickly sobered me. (Though I was still laughing on the inside.)

"The thing is that it was strangely endearing to know that a strong and accomplished man like you was scared of a little needle. Don't get angry, I just found it cute." I smiled at him, hoping that my immense charm placated him.

It seemed to work as he grew even redder, before nodding and walking towards an empty table.

"You sit over here Miss, I will get us some coffee." He pulled out a chair for me and proceeded to take off his dark coat revealing a white button down shirt that didn't have a single wrinkle on it despite it being nearly midnight now.

And which made it really distracting to look at him... Seeing how tight it was. Father should make it against the rules for his employees to wear clothes that were distracting. I will definitely suggest it to him, I vowed to myself....once he opens his eyes.

The perfection of his shirt made feel more conscious of the stain on my sweatshirt, which was hidden by the table. He draped his coat on the chair across the table from me, and rolled up his sleeves.

I leaned back onto the chair as I observed him walking towards the counter to get our coffee. It was weird to see him this comfortable and at ease. I was always used to seeing him serious, done up in his fitted suits and always ready to complete whatever challenge came up for the company.

It was still strange how I had not noticed his striking blue eyes…perhaps because he smiled so less. I watched the woman at the counter in amusement as she flustered to get his order spilling a cup of what seemed like some red graoe juice as he flashed a smile at her while he leaning against the counter....as if he had no care in the world.

I couldn't help but smile as she turned as red as the sexy red nail polish on her fingernails as he took the cups of coffee from her hands. She nearly combusted right there when he thanked her. And it made me marvel to myself,  had I always been blind to his looks, maybe that's why it was such a shock for me to see him like this now.

He always seemed so cold and detached that I never thought that he was capable of emotions as well…which I admit was extremely foolish of me. 

But hey I never claimed to be anything otherwise so it's alright. (I hope)

His silent and reassuring presence was something that I didn't know I needed, but I appreciated it nonetheless. Perhaps more than I ever did before.

"Here's your  hot cup of coffee Miss Siddique." The smell of freshly prepared coffee entered my nostrils, causing me to sigh dreamily. I wrapped my fingers around the cup, enjoying the warmth of the hot drink on my fingers.