Blinding Smiles

Gauhar's POV

"There is no saying like that you idiot." He lovingly reminded me in the reprimanding tones of a concerned big brother.

"Well there is one now, and it is said by me. Anyway, although the thought of having a long conversation with you over the phone greatly appeals to me, I will have to go because I have some investigating to do. Sayonara!" and before he could say anything else I ended the call.

It would always remain a mystery to me how he could work relentlessly to make my life hell but would turn into an overprotective hen if any other man was around me. Maybe sucking my brain juice everyday was essential for his normal functioning so it would be seriously detrimental for him if something bad happened to me.

That seemed like a pretty logical motivation for him to continue being as big of a twat to me as possible.

"So....." He began standing up to his full height which was a few inches more than me.

Ignoring him I carefully placed my phone in my pocket making sure it was deep enough to not be stolen again and tapped it protectively. Stretching myself leisurely I straightened up, standing up straight to focus on the man who had his eyes focussed on me in expectation.

Placing my hands on my hips, I raised an eyebrow at him questioningly, waiting for him to continue "how do you know the man?" he tilted his head at my pocket meaningfully.

I felt my eyebrows raise higher on my head at his question, my brain marvelling at his nerve. "I think that's something that is absolutely none of your business." I smiled sweetly at him, batting my eyelashes in the most 'I'm gonna murder you' way I could.

"But you don't understand Miss, I'm only enquiring about this because I'm concerned about your safety."

"Considering that you are the stranger here and the one who is more likely to turn out to be a serial killer than the person on my phone, I'd say that is the least of our concern at the moment."

He opened his mouth to retort but I continued, refusing to be sidetracked by his concern. The past couple of encounters had made it abundantly clear that this man was so smooth you'd slip right into his trap and forget what you really wanted to address.

"What is important right now, is finding out how my phone came to be in your possession." I bared my teeth, or as he liked to call them, my fangs at him in a predatory smile.

He gazed at me, transfixed, for a couple long seconds before looking away guiltily. His eyes seemed to be trying to search for an answer in the spotless lamination of his car.

I waited patiently, watching him swallow deeply and run a hand through his raven hair and look down at me (a fact that I thoroughly disliked) "Uh yeah, about that. I actually have no idea how it got there."

I gave him my best 'you want me to believe that bullcrap?' look. Something seemed to change in his eyes as his posture got more confident which made me exponentially madder. It was at times like this that I wished I could grow taller at will, even after stretching up to my full height - just short of standing up on my toes- I still had to tilt my head up to meet his eyes.

"Yeah, I want you to believe that bullshiet lil fang." he nodded, giving out a low chuckle when he noticed that my eyes widened at his words.

Just when I thought he'd explode of smugness (I had absolutely no idea what he was so proud about), he smirked and continued "I heard a phone ringing in my car, one with an incredibly childish ringtone mind you."

I narrowed my eyes, but he continued as if he didn't notice it "and since my tastes are impeccable, the chances of something as awful as that belonging to me were threatening to dip into the negative. So being the smart man that I am, I started searching for the source of the annoying sound. And guess what!? There it was, wedged between the front seats of my car. I fished it out and just as I was wondering whose it might be, lo and behold the owner of the thing appears right in front of me."

He walked up closer to me "pardon my saying this but you have seriously appalling taste."

"And pray tell me what caused you to make that astute observation?" I asked, loving how my voice didn't sound as violent as I was feeling.

He shrugged "your ringtone made me half wish I was deaf, your phone cover really really made me wish I was colour blind, and your smile actually did bli-"

My eyes widened as he stopped himself, my heart beat going up a few notches. Loudly clearing his throat he nodded at me "well yeah, you get the gist."

I was extremely tempted to answer in the negative but I controlled myself and nodded, at which he let out a shuddering breath.

Straightening the already straight collar of his shirt, he suddenly grinned at me, the expression brightening his face and making his eyes twinkle brighter than the lights around us "Well, if I was aware that getting the phone out would help me see you again, I would have searched for it sooner."

His words made me roll my eyes and maybe even smile a little but I stopped myself. Realising the traitorous direction of my thoughts I shook my head and forced down the smile that threatened to plaster itself all over my face.

I was really angry with myself, my reason watching my strange behaviour and shaking her head in disappointment. I couldn't even blame her, I was pretty disappointed with myself as well. I didn't understand why his words made a warm feeling burst within my chest, stroking my inside like a slow warm fire and why I had the strange urge to avert my face away from his blinding smile.

To protect myself from how ugly it was I told myself, determined to believe it even if it was the farthest thing from the truth.

A loud clap of thunder broke my train of thoughts. Looking up I saw a huge bolt of lightning lighting up the sky, highlighting the grim darkness of the clouds before drenching everything back into darkness.

I felt a jolt of excitement run through me at the thought of the approaching storm. Holding my hijab in place which seemed to want to run away along with the strong gust of wind I looked up at the man whose name I still wasn't aware of "Alright then, Mr. Serial Killer, I wish I could say that it was a pleasure to meet you but I don't like to lie so I'd suggest that you get going." my words seemed to have the opposite of the desired effect as the smile on his face widened.

Not letting that dishearten me, I continued "Seems like it's going to pour so I suggest you go inside so that you don't get your expensive clothes wet." patting the freshly reacquired phone resting in my pocket I continued "And thank you for taking care of her in my absence, even if you weren't aware of her presence most of the time which wasn't very gentlemanly of you might I add."

"I'm deeply sorry if I ever hurt her feelings." He placed a hand on his heart and gave me a penitent look making me smile. He gave me a smile that warmed me even while the chilly winds blew around me.

Turning away I made to walk away when I was stopped in my tracks as I heard him shout at me over the sound of the growling winds "Au revoir lil fang!"

"Or not!" turning around I shouted back, allowing the smile on my face to form into a full blown grin.

I walked out of the hospital gates, feeling a strange sense of liberation in the bad weather. I enjoyed the threatening claps of thunder that seemed intent on making me go deaf by their sheer volume and the constant bolts of lightning that caused the air to crackle with electricity. Even the wind that was intent on stealing my hijab away from me made me feel liberated.

As I walked along the road without any particular destination in mind, I felt my thoughts go back to Baba's words. A bitter smile formed on my face as I thought of what I had agreed to. Going back to the place of my nightmares wasn't something that I looked forward to, reliving all those memories over and over again sounded like pushing myself into an abyss of insanity. And I hated myself for not being selfish. It hurt to think how much it meant to Baba and how much I resented it.

Unbidden a thought took grip over my mind 'Your father is one of the major reasons that caused you to resent that place.'

Frantically shaking my head I tramped down the thought as soon as it occurred to me, closing my eyes I sat down on a stair that seemed to lead up to a park. Placing my head on my knees I let out an exhausted breath. Hating myself for letting that thought enter my mind, and despising the fact that it was true.

He was to blame for a lot of things in my life, but he was also the biggest support I could ever ask for. I felt warm wetness gather in my eyes at the thought of how ungrateful I was. I brought my knees closer to myself and buried my head in the crook between my legs, letting the tears flow as I felt large cold drops of rain fall on my face, mixing with my tears.

The sky had finally let go of its load, but I couldn't let go of what had happened before. I hated myself for allowing it to happen, and I was afraid-

Afraid that the nightmares would be back.

Afraid that the panic and anxiety would be back.

Afraid that I wouldn't be able to cope with all that and I'd finally lose myself in all.