[REVAMPED] A Loveless Wizard who Despises Wolves
Wolves in video games aren't scary.
Wolves in video games aren't challenging opponents.
When reading online novels set in video game worlds, Vash would always roll his eyes at the mere mention of wolves.
Wolves suck. They're boring. They're lame. They're just fodder for low-level players.
It doesn't matter how big the wolf is or how many there are, what color it is or whether it can talk or has a long shady past or an eyepatch, or secretly guards its master's tomb…
Wolves. Are. Stupid.
Though to be fair, Vash never thought much about wolves until he decided to live alone in the wilderness. Not until he started to encounter them every day when he would be out foraging, always picking fights with him like they stood even the tiniest modicum of a chance at beating him. Stupid, dumb pathetic wolves.
Why couldn't they just go away? He only wanted to live in peace.
It would be fine if it was designed so that weak mobs wouldn't aggro players of a significantly higher level, the way it is in a lot of RPGs, but unfortunately this was not the case.
Instead, he would always have to be on the lookout. Always keep a fire going at night.
Always hating wolves to the deepest core of his being.
He'd been up since early that morning in his homestead set up beside a small trickling stream, working on his daily rap poetry journal entry, when he first heard their screams:
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Vash ran into his house, grabbing his trusty [Scorchbrand Slugger], and looked to see what the commotion was.
It was a pair of gorgeous, half-naked girls! Wow!
They were fleeing out of the woods, beelining toward his camp down a steep grassy incline.
Vash saw it as a gift from a higher power. 'Oho? Have I been blessed by the server? Has my vow of stoicism finally paid off?!' But then, he laid eyes on what was chasing them, and the warm feelings were replaced by pure blinding rage: a large pack of wolves—at least a dozen of them—descending down the hill like a swarming tide of furry cockroaches.
"Damn bastard wolves!" Vash hissed, an orb of magical fire growing in each palm.
Right then, he could fire off a single [Fireball] from each hand. But that wouldn't be enough: he needed to be able to strike them all down, at once, in a single grand, fiery inferno!
He needed to look cool in front of the ladies.
So Vash pressed his palms together, causing the two orbs to merge into one larger entity.
Raising his arms above his head, the orb floated free of his hands straight into the air, slowly rising like a miniature sun, growing until it was roughly the size of a basketball.
Then Vash yelled, "Fireball Storm!"
The orb of flames erupted at the sound of his voice, shooting off countless thin streaks of fire in all directions.
Akira's eyes turned wide in shock at the sight. "Kiko, get down!"
They ducked below the whizzing rockets of flame, each honing onto an individual wolf target..
ARFF! ARRFR! ARFFRRFF!
Their shrieking whimpers and squeals of pain filled the air.
Streaks of black stained the grass where it had been scorched from the showering sparks.
Once the smoke was all cleared, every last wolf had been obliterated, their corpses dispersing into clouds of pixels.
Vash approached Akira and Kiko, who were both still lying prone in the grass.
"It's safe now, my dears," he said with an exaggerated smile, standing in a valiant pose casting a long shadow onto their looking faces.
"Th-thank you," Kiko said, with a mildly confused smile. "Mister—"
"I am Vash! SIR Vash, if you prefer!" he answered proudly, flourishing his hat in an over-grandiose bow. "A Level 10 Wizard, always at the service of a lady in need!"
She gave a nervous laugh. "I see…so you've been knighted." Totally oblivious.
However Akira rolled his eyes, immediately seeing through their whole "chivalrous" facade.
Vash turned to him. "Are you hurt?" He knelt, offering a hand. "Do you require a strong shoulder to lean yourself upon, milady?"
Milady? Akira gawked, disgusted. Was he serious?!
He scoffed as he sat up in the grass, facing them with an air of unfiltered disdain, contemplating how best to reveal the unfortunate news of his true gender. For although his body had undergone such extreme changes, into its current robustly feminine part-squirrel appearance, his voice had nonetheless retained its natural—exceedingly manly—low bass: making it all the more satisfying to unload his first words of mockery onto the sorely unsuspecting forever-single mage:
"Thanks, handsome. But…" he said while standing, patting Vash on the shoulder as he walked past. "I'm afraid your princess is in another castle."
At once, Vash sunk to his knees in despair, unaffected by Kiko's attempts to calm him.
He really should've been used to this kind of thing happening by now.
…
Vash did not look the part of your average hermit living alone in the woods.
He was a tall rat-man, brown-furred and broad-shouldered but slimming out from the chest down. He wore dazzling golden star-shaped sunglasses and chains and flashy jeweled rings. He garbed himself in a smooth purple velvet robe and pants with gloves and boots and a cape all made with gray wolf's fur, topped with a classic crooked mage's cap hung by a tiny glimmering disco ball on the tip.
Akira and Kiko shared their story, fascinating him at every turn.
"Captured by the minotaurs at
"Not a miracle," Akira corrected. Smugly adding, "weren't you listening? It was all thanks to me."
"And that interesting Lazuli character," Vash countered, stroking his chin with a sly grin. "It's nigh unheard of for someone at her level to possess a [Legendary Skill]. Let alone an insta-kill."
"Actually, we're heading for that place Lazuli mentioned right now, called Acquama Town."
Everyone who had been around in the game world for a while knew about Acquama, Vash told them. It was a beginner-friendly town—often the first major settlement visited by newbies—and that he would gladly take them there...on the condition that he would be their teacher in the basics of the game.
Kiko was excited for the opportunity, eager to make herself more helpful to Akira. Whereas Akira remained still-reluctant to become too attached to the game world.
"I guess it wouldn't hurt," he said, more for Kiki's sake than his own.
~~~~~~~~
Party member has enlisted: Vash Mitash!
~~~~~~~~
To start out his lesson, he then asked the two to open their [Status Menus].
Kiko was first to comply, trembling slightly with excitement.
~~~~~~~~
Name: Kiko Amagiri
Race: Kappa
Level: 1
EXP: 0/50
Class: Silt-sunken Druid ★ ★ ★
Guilds: N/A
< Strength: 4 >
< Agility: 6 >
< Stamina: 4 >
< Willpower: 4 >
< Dexterity: 6 >
< Charisma: 1 >
< Luck: 4 >
~~~~~~~~
Stat points: 0
~~~~~~~~
Skills:
Tide Whisper
The caster gains the ability to communicate with marine creatures for 10 (+Level) minutes.
Limitations:
Only usable on targets that do not exceed your
~~~~~~~~
Vash stared at Kiko's stat window for a bit, adjusting his glasses. Visibly unimpressed. "Ah," he murmured, "I see...you're a druid."
"Is that a bad thing?" Kiko asked with wide eyes, clearly having no clue what he meant.
"It's your combat class: a mix between a caster and a fighter, communing with nature to empower your attacks."
"That sounds...pretty cool, actually. But what do the stars, and all these words and numbers mean?"
"I'll teach you about the numbers later: they're what's called your [Attributes], but most folks just refer to them as stats. As for the those stars beside your class name..."
They represented the rarity of one's class: more stars meaning the more rare it was and by extension the more potential it had to become powerful, with three stars being the average. However, with the tradeoff being that a higher-rated class also required more EXP to level, meaning they were more vulnerable at the early stages of the game in exchange for acquiring better stats and skills as they progressed.
"Other players will often become jealous of a high rank. Mofos will gang on you, or worse." Vash snickered, doing a cool pose with his fingers on his chin. "It's a dog-eat-dog world, DOG."
Kiko gave a nervous laugh. "Hah...in that case, I think I'm perfectly fine with being average."
Akira had observed their exchange, purposefully delaying the opening of his own [Status Menu] by doing so.
He was feeling immense pressure. In most games he played back in the day, a character's class was a huge determining force in how they played. And so, this was potentially going to be a huge discovery, playing a major deciding factor throughout the entirety of his adventure in the game world.
Vash emerged behind him, rubbing his palms together with glee. "Now, it's the shemale's turn…"
"Don't call me that," Akira snapped at him sharply. "I didn't choose to be in this form, just like you probably didn't choose to be a fucking rat."
"OOF! So harsh!" Vash looked like he was about to cry. "I know, I know…I'm just really bitter."
Returning to the task at hand, Akira raised a hand to perform the [Status Menu] gesture.
~~~~~~~~
Name: Akira Maximilian
Race: Urban Squirrel
Level: 1
EXP: 0/80
Class: Illustrious Merchant ★★★★★
Guilds: N/A
< Strength: 3 >
< Agility: 3 >
< Stamina: 5 >
< Willpower: 5 >
< Dexterity: 1 >
< Charisma: 6 >
< Luck: 8 >
~~~~~~~~
Stat points: 0
~~~~~~~~
Skills:
Love Prices
COST: 1 Gold (coin, nugget, bar, ingot, fragment, crafted item)
Challenge a target to comply with one of your desires. If the spell succeeds, they perform the action. If it fails, they will act in an opposite way.
Success rate is based on the user's
Limitations: (click here to expand)
~~~~~~~~
"So I'm a merchant?" Akira was amused, lightly chuckling to himself. "I suppose that's fitting."
"It's a mostly non-combat class, focused on trade and negotiation," Vash described, nodding his head in interest. "Though, I've never seen a five-star version before. And such an unusual starting skill—I can't say I've ever seen anything like it!" He struck another flamboyant pose, announcing in broken, poor English: "VER-Y LAW-KY!"
"Is it though?" Akira frowned. "The skill seems like it would barely have any use in most situations."
"I don't know…your class is rare, so there must be more than meets the eye."
"And what about Kiko?" He snorted. "With her fishtalking ability?"
"Hoho! Being able to chat with crabs can occasionally come in handy, no doubt!"
They both shared a laugh, not noticing that Kiko was watching and had overheard everything...quietly blubbering away in the background.