Conundrum **** Chapter Twenty-Four

Christy tried hard to convince me to leave, I kept refusing, I loved Twan so much. I could see the anger in her eyes when I kept telling her no. When she finally drove off she was pissed and I knew she was serious about leaving. This bitch was going on the lam and wanted me and Ryella with her. I would have been completely heartless if I would have left with her, Twan was already trippin, big time. He had become so possessive of us and constantly needed sex, he would go crazy without it.

She didn't leave that day but deep down I was kinda hoping she would. I wanted to turn over a new leaf for my family and when I mentioned moving to Florida I hadn't planned to leave my man behind. He had court soon and I knew he would see Sabrina, his co-defendant. He had so many skeletons, I could see his past in his expressions, I tried to distinguish between the remorse and the regret. It was definitely a difference, I had cried so hard about Josh and showed him a picture just to see his reaction. He confirmed my beliefs. He became so paranoid, somehow he and his mother stopped seeing eye to eye. She wondered about him and Pops as well as I did. Something was wrong. All he wanted to do was smoke and fuck. He gave me a key and told me if anything happened to him, I'll know what to do with it, and not to lose it. I hadn't wanted to take it, he insisted, I put it in Christy's deposit box. Why was he talking like he would die? He had escaped death twice, "It's not your time," I said, I could see fear in him. I missed the Twan I met. We became almost secluded, I tried again to convince him to go to Florida. I hadn't known how it would work out, I think I actually hoped we could come to an agreement...what kind, I hadn't figured out. I think I wanted them both and was confused. They took up each others slack, and Ryella needed Christy, Christy needed Ryella. I knew her actions were reactions from what Lamont put her through, she'd found out he was married to someone else and become a stone cold killer. She was too comfortable with killing though, I was rebound and she was numb. That bitch couldn't love us, she had a motive from day one. I could never underestimate her. I enjoyed the lifestyle that came along with being her bitch but I hadn't even known Karma Christina, only Christy. Also I knew she was clinically proven to be crazy. When she found out about Veronica she stopped taking her medication and had been off almost two years, she was a bomb waiting to explode. Lamont had taken her country ass to another level, and I believed he honestly loved her...it wasn't her who was being hid. I also figured out he had been playing Veronica for her money to give Christy everything she wanted, and Veronica wanted him dead. "When I take care of that bitch I'm leaving, u better be ready."

She wanted to expose what we had and silently threatened to do so. I kept pulling away from her and she would do things for Twan to notice. Tobias figured it out, around the time Carlita found out about him and Christy. She had followed him to her Hotel, she came out and greeted him with a kiss. It was as if when she put her hands on his face and kissed him she sucked out his soul, his posture weakened. I could relate to that reaction. I sat inside of the car and watched Carlita's Honda speed from the parking lot, I had not even noticed her, they were now inside the room. I texted 911 to both their phones. I watched the 8th floor window while the curtain moved, she was in her bra. Carlita's car had finally made it to the gate she'd seen it drive away. That was the day she told him she was pregnant. His first child.

Carlita waited for him to arrive, I could smell the liquor in the atmosphere, she was so drunk. She cried uncontrollably and had broken every picture of them in the home. All his clothes were destroyed, hats and shoes were cut up and she threatened to "turn him in". What he fuck had HE done?

Whatever it had been concerned the twins...Twan's younger brothers. I had only saw pictures of them, these niggas were replicas, they had the same tattoos...they all had Pam's name but these two had some nice body art. I could tell by the look on Tobias' face all he had to do was give Christy the say-so if he had met that part of her. I refused to believe he would have her killed though. She had been trying to conceive for 8 years and her vibes around Ryella left a bitter taste in my mouth, I began to suspect she was occasionally mean to my daughter and hadn't liked her at all. She would really blow a fuse when she found about Christy's baby. I prayed she would make it full term and just lay low.

The day Twan was scrolling on facebook and saw Christy's mugshot he said, "prison humbled her ass I see."

"Who? I asked.

"Ya girl Christy. Damn! Her bond was a million? Where the fuck she get twelve percent of that from! Let me see who the fuck she killed."

FUCK!

He clicked on the link.

"This shit load so fucking slow when we are upstairs..."

"Lets smoke."

"Seriously? U know what happens when we smoke right. Hold on, Im tryna see..."

I put my hand in his basketball shorts.

"Hold on girl! What u doing!"

"I wanna suck it..."

"I just peed."

FUCK!

"Ok, I'll do it in the shower."

He was adamant about seeing the article. I knew I had to do something and knew he was on the wifi.

"Ok, I'm going to fix Ryella's bottles," I said.

I made it down the stairs and unplugged the modem as quickly as I possibly could with my crippled ass. He hadn't tried to stop me. I listened for any activity, any outbursts, or any indication he would come downstairs. It was quiet. I prayed he hadn't saw it, but he had.

On the screen was the article, in full detail.

I NEVER SAW HIM THAT UPSET.

The tears rolled off his chin and around the neck of his shirt when I turned around and saw him standing at the bottom of the stairs. I didn't know what to do except start from the beginning. He didn't wanna hear shit I had to say. I didn't want Christy to die, he knew she was pregnant I pleaded for her. I finally said, "She's pregnant by Tobias."

"He just like daddy," he said, "Ion give a fuck, that bitch gotta die." He picked up my Iphone from the island and threw it against the wall. I now had no contact with the outside world.

I went back upstairs to my sleeping baby. I could not let him kill Christy, he kept trying to make me call her. She had called his phone before but she was smart enough not to fall for any suspicious shit, he needed me to set her up. I was in a fucked up situation. Twan opened the Hennessey and began to drink heavy, I had only saw him do it once. The night Josh... but I knew he would do his own dirty work this was personal. I had to do something, fast. I planned my getaway, again. I knew I couldn't go back to Redd, I didn't even love him anymore, besides nothing else connected us and I knew he lived a lie. Twan kept rolling the blunts, he continued to yell, we were locked inside of the room. Tobias knocked, "BRO! THAT BITCH THE DEVIL!!!" He yelled. "WHO?" He asked.

"THAT CHRISTY BITCH!"

He would not open the door, he was not the Twan I knew. Ryella screamed as I tried to calm her down. He paid her no attention, it hurt so bad to see him ignore her. I finally managed to rock her to sleep.

I laid her down, he sat on the bed swaying with his head in his hands. The bottle was empty. Hours passed, it was 3 a.m., I was so tired, I just wanted to go to bed, somewhere. I wanted US again but knew it would never happen. I would leave with Christy, I wasn't taking sides but I couldn't let him kill her let alone set her up.

Twan finally fell over, asleep. I could smell his vomit as he slept. I watched him, he laid sloppily across the bed, but he breathed. I slowly got up. Ryella only had on a onesie, it wasn't really cold but she needed clothes. I dressed her and put on Twan's hat. I looked at him and left out of the room. I had no phone so no UBER app, I couldn't call Christy until I made it to a phone. I crept downstairs with her in my right arm. I had a bag with mostly diapers, milk and a couple of other sentiments.

Sitting in the recliner in front of the door was Carlita, she had a loaded gun pointing it directly at it waiting on Tobias. She then pointed it toward us, Ryella was still asleep. She kicked her phone across the carpet. Before the screen went black I saw Christy and Tobias. He was asleep, she had taken a selfie on his chest from his phone and sent it to her. I said nothing, I closed my eyes for a second to regain my composure, and as the gun followed me I walked toward the door. I fumbled with the locks, I could not see, it was so dark. I finally opened the door and when I got on the other side I ran as fast as I could given my circumstances. I stopped at a tree in a dead end, I was so hurt...I cried so hard, sat down and held Ryella, I just kissed her all over her face as my tears poured onto her blanket and clothes. She opened her eyes, and wanted me to chill out. I gave her the bottle.

I knew Twan was still sleep, I was still in the neighborhood just in the dead end circle on the next street. I knew he couldn't drive anyway.

It was time to leave, the church bell tolled 5 o'clock. I managed to stand up and I walked toward the donut shop. I needed a phone Tobias and Christy both were on the verge of being killed. I could see the hurt so heavy on Carlita's face, she would do herself too if she did him, he possessed her soul. I needed Christy, her touch, but she was laid up with Tobias, pregnant.

I thought about how I was giving up on Ryella by giving up on Twan, and decided I was willing to give him the child he adored. Maybe he would consider her and not kill Christy. I would take her to Pam, she would give her back and when Twan explained what went down she would know why I left her. I loved him so much, I could feel the pain stab me like knives, my heart was being ripped apart inside of my chest. He had saved me, I had not asked for any of this. I had almost died, I had killed for him, I could only imagine what Sabrina had gone through. I was glad I saved her life.

Deep down I also knew Christy was heartless, she had given it to Lamont along time ago and u only get one. He had destroyed the one she once had.

I made it to the donut shop parking lot and began to feel disoriented, the uncontrolled movements in my arms began. I could only see ahead of me but I saw the door. I tried to hurry to make it, the cars lined the drive thru, I hoped they allowed me to make it between without driving forward. I approached them, my legs were slowing down like they were battery operated. I felt the tears burning "TWAN" I mouthed at the man in the work truck, he could tell I was about to fall with Ryella, he jumped from the passenger side and ran to me before I hit the ground. The seizure was vicious, they had changed my medications after I was shot and I told them the Fenobarbital made my brain swell. They would change the prescription if any side effects occurred...

I could see someone with my baby, my tongue was in my throat, it prevented me from screaming for her. I felt a cold wet napkin on my forehead and my tears filling my ears.

"I need a spoon! Call an ambulance!" Someone yelled, "She's having a grand mal!"

"OH MY GOD! HURRY! IS THAT HER BABY?!"

RYELLA!

I was taken to the emergency room and admitted in ICU...again. No Christy, no Twan, no cell phone, no Ryella, just another epilepsy diagnosis. I was alone, but Mike always knows when I'm alone. He manages to always find a way to keep me company.

When they finally showed up, I didn't remember any of them. Not even my 5 month old child.