A8****Chapter Twenty-Eight

I was in so much pain, my chest and belly were scraped from the concrete. I had been dragged against the rough cement on the bridge. My arm had swollen and my wrist had begun to turn purple. I just wept. I could see the confusion in Twan's eyes and didn't have the courage to tell him about the conversation I had with Redd in the parking lot. Regardless to what Twan said, I knew he felt some type of way about Sabrina being pregnant. Did that mean it wasn't his baby though? I wanted to trust him with all my soul but I was afraid to give in to his love. It was so unconditional, I hadn't known that because he said it but he had shown it. Ryella looked just like him and apparently he hadn't cared if I was schizo, or was missing a tooth. Would he care if I was HIV positive? Wasn't that a condition? I began to pray daily, I had been hospitalized numerous times, they had performed plenty blood tests, I would have known. Redd's infliction was a result of his own extracurricular activities. He hadn't loved me.

Each time I looked at Ryella I saw Twan, I saw Boogie too. My son. I missed him so much but wondered if God had allowed him to take his own life to prevent him from suffering. I believed every word Redd had said about Daddy molesting him, as the words came off of his lips I tried hard to contradict my instincts, not my son. Why had Kerri subjected him to that monster?! I just could not understand, had it been a spiteful deed? I could still see her face when she sat in the courtroom, it was as if she refused to look at me, but why had she come? Had she planned to tell me right then and there and decided against it?

Had she wanted them to say "guilty"?

After the bridge incident Twan laid me across the back seat, took his keys from my pocket and drove to the Holiday Inn and reserved a room. He carried me inside, turned on the water in the bathtub and undressed me before undressing himself. "Baby, I need u to listen to me, shake back." He put me in the cool water and stepped inside and sat down behind me. He squeezed the water from the towel on my face as he held me, I laid against his chest. I had not said a word since we left the bridge. "I can't let them take u from us, Hazel u are stronger than this. I can fix whatever is wrong just, please talk to me! I need to know!"

It was so much, I started to think I needed to be hospitalized, what if I had an episode around Ryella when no one else was around? I loved my daughter so much, I would never hurt her intentionally. They had said I suffered from Postpartum Schizophrenia and that meant I could cause her harm without being aware. Or anyone for that matter. He loved me, I knew he did. He had changed a lot and I could change for him. Twan disregarded my abnormalities but what if we were sick? He would kill me! I would kill me! "Talk to me Baby, U mean so much to me. We can move away from everything and everybody, just me, u and the kids."

Where was Shan and Netta?

He raised my arm, I moaned, "U need to go to the hospital."

I tensed, he could tell I was against it, I would buy an ace bandage. I knew I couldn't hold Ryella.

The man from the park came to mind, I remembered his sincere expression and his unorthodox but well preserved demeanor. How had he recognized me, why had he even cared? Had he waited for me the night I was released? He was truly an angel, I wanted to tell him thank u. I knew I wouldn't see him again, we would not come back. I was all for it, that meant he was definitely done with Sabrina. I wanted to know where they had went. If they would have still been there I wouldn't have went to the bridge.

Redd had said they would reopen the case, but I now had a witness...

Twan washed my body, I laid against him uncomfortably but I cherished his embrace at that moment. I had never been embraced before he came along. "Mrs. Carter, u can't just ignore me."

I could tell how his chest heaved his emotions were heavy, I didn't see his face but I knew he fought back the tears. About 45 minutes passed, we got out of the tub. He dried me off and kissed my shoulders. "I need u to fight it. If u love us u will fight."

Why did he love me? He could have anyone, pretty and sexy never overpowered crazy, had it? He hadn't even seemed concerned about the genes I would pass along to our children, what was his story. I concluded he had to have been through more than I had put him through and was willing to bet had concerned Pops. What made me so special. Under normal circumstances would he even have noticed me if I wouldn't have been running from what I thought was a killer? Why had he so easily abandoned the relationship with Sabrina. I needed to know. She was a sneaky bitch, and she had been in contact with Christy, it was almost time. I was willing to let bygones be bygones, but Redd? He was another story, he was despicable and a poison to mankind.

"I love u," I said.

He kissed the exit wound on my shoulder as if he had known it ached.

"She talks again! He said sarcastically. "Baby WHY WOULD U JUMP FROM A BRIDGE! IS IT THAT BAD? U ARE CARRYING MY CHILDREN! Are u trying to kill me!?"

I had the worst headache and was embarrassed, when he picked me up I had lost control of my bladder, I knew why he put my pissy ass in the tub. Also he knew I was unresponsive after the seizures, I just needed time.

"Mama will keep Calliope, we need tonight alone, u are going to the ER. I need u to check on the babies and get your arm x-rayed."

I wanted to tell him so bad, we may be sick. He had known it was a possibility. Redd was the devil, I even considered the fact that he lied to persuade me to come back or even lose all hope with life. I had to fight. I could not allow him to take away the only happiness I had ever known.

As Twan spoke my senses were still neurologically impaled, I heard what he was saying but some I couldn't compute. I needed the meds, I determined there was no way around it. All of them. The voices would never go away without them but I would be in a constant trance. Would he still love me then?

I wanted my baby. "Ill go tomorrow, I need my daughter," I said. He denied my request. "Baby please, we haven't had any time alone."

I knew he wanted sex, I could tell when I laid against him in the tub. His heartbeat had matched my own, we were n sync. Yet I needed my daughter and him equally, she was my substance.

"Tobias killed Carlita," he said. "I know he did."

I begged to differ.

I knew he had collected the insurance money and was buying another home for Christy but how long would that even last. We'd driven to the gas station and I'd seen Lamont paying at the pump. As much as I tried to not attract attention he noticed me sitting on the passenger side. Angrily he approached as Twan pumped the gas. I knew Christy had been ignoring all of his calls, she had been using his credit card to pay for all of her rooms. $20,000 worth.

As he reached for the door, I locked it. He stood beside the window ranting about his money, but I had known he hadn't even cared about the fucking money, he was bitter and hurt. His hygiene had become even worse. "I AM GOING TO KILL HEEERRRR! TELL HER! TELL HEEEEER! TELL YOUR GIRLFRIEND SHE'S A DEAD WHOOORE!" He was more gray than I remembered. Fuck him, he was a baby killer and was still in love. He had completely lost it but I hadn't known it at that moment. I hadn't even known how long he followed us, but he followed us to Texas with hopes of leads to Christy.

"Girlfriend?" Twan asked.

I needed no added stress. I knew what Christy and I shared was on rebound terms. I missed her touch but I wanted to be loyal to Twan. That meant dismissing our intimacy as well. Hadn't I lead her to happiness? Twan wasn't thrilled about her presence anyway, I had told him how it all went down, even about the baby being in the grave. I had no choice. He was just so mysterious, I had been unable to read his intentions.

His reaction to Lamont screaming threats about Christy only put a smile across his face, he'd thought it was funny and said nothing about that part when he got inside.

A few days after we arrived back in Texas, Twan had gone to apply for an actual job in the oil field. I was proud of his ambition. I decided to call Christy, I needed her to shampoo my hair, my wrist was casted. Also I was having a hard time with Ryella. She agreed to be there in 30 minutes and she was. Shortly after she arrived I heard two shots rang out. I ducked down and ran to the door, Ryella screamed, I panicked, I thought she had been shot. I made sure she wasn't she was just scared.

Christy had just said she was in the parking lot, I squatted behind the door and opened it, I hadn't wanted her to get caught up in the crossfire. When I twisted the knob, she was leaning against the door and just fell inside to the floor. I saw the two gunshot wounds in her back as the blood soaked the Carolina Herrera blouse she'd worn.

I hurriedly looked out of the door in time to see a Gray Audi A8 drive away.