sky

"I can't believe you didn't tell me" was the first thing Xie Min said to him after those words came out of his mouth.

After saying them, the table had remained completely silent and none of the people sitting at that table spoke a word to him in all that time they were eating, Xie Min sent him looks from time to time but he did not say anything, both of them knew that their uncles were angry with him.

Maybe angry wasn't the best word, it wasn't like they were forcing him to live there but that kind of news had to be said in advance.

Zhao Yun also wondered if he should tell them about his soul mate, how his eyes now saw all shades of blue, how he almost did the same thing to his soul mate. He was a rather reserved person about his feelings, so no one knew exactly how he thought things or what his head was thinking when all there was silence.

He knew that he wasn't going to tell them, so why to give them such sad news as that his soul mate had tried to kill themselves. Neither they nor he could do anything about it, Zhao Yun did not know who they were, could not 'help' them.

He usually told his cousin everything, but that kind of thing would most likely make him sad, Zhao Yun did not want to cause any feelings of sadness towards his family. He kept his mouth shut, none of that mattered.

When they finished eating, they got up and just went to their room with the baby.

Xie Min looked at him with a look that said not to worry.

When they went into his room, he started bombarding him with questions.

"Where is it? Are you going to live alone? Where did you get the money? Did it not occur to you to tell me? When will you leave? In d...

"Xie Min please breathe" He interrupted him while a smile escaped his lips, he knew that Xie Min was acting like this to make him feel better with his strange methods.

"Okay, I'll stop, but seriously, why didn't you tell me?" That last one he asked with some pain in his voice.

"Because at first I wasn't sure and I wanted to say it when I had all the papers and everything was confirmed, plus I wanted to surprise you." He walked across the room and stopped in front of one of the drawers.

His hand grabbed something and threw it at Xie Min, who instinctively reacted and caught what had been thrown.

When his hands opened and saw what he had grabbed, his eyes widened like a deer in the middle of the road and his mouth was so wide open that it was as if it had fallen out.

They were keys.

"Is this what I think it is?" he asked after several minutes, a gleam in his eye showed.

Zhao Yun nodded and saw a smile start to form on his cousin's face.

"This is why I didn't want to tell you, I didn't want to get your hopes up, I still remember our talks in the middle of the night when we said we were going to live together with no one to boss us around and even though they were children's dreams, I wanted to make that dream come true" He paused, his eyes were looking at the floor "You don't have to say yes, I'll respect your decision"

A pillow was thrown in his direction, he looked surprised and offended at the same time at Xie Min.

"It hurts me that you think I'm going to say no, obviously I want to go with you idiot" The concern in Zhao Yun's chest vanished, the two looked at each other and broke up laughing.

One of the reasons why Zhao Yun had invited his cousin to move in with him was a selfish reason, of course, he wanted to be with his cousin, to know what it was like to live alone without anyone's help, to fulfill that dream they had since they were little, but the other reason was that Zhao Yun was afraid, not of being alone or of making a drastic change in his life, he was afraid of himself, of his mind.

Of what he might do if there was no one to make him come to his senses.

He did not criticize what almost did his soul mate, for all the things he had felt from them, he knew that his soul mate had a difficult life, he knew how tempting it was to want to get rid of all that, his thoughts, himself. So he needed a distraction, something to remind him why life was worth living. Zhao Yun hoped he could be that something in life to his soul mate, he hoped that the two could come to see colors without the expense of the life of the other.

That night they had a movie night. As he slept, Zhao Yun dreamt of cold, blue eyes and a deep voice calling his name.

**

"Zhaozhao" His head was on the table, a cup of coffee in his hand, and he was unwilling to respond to what his friend was saying.

Zi Fei was a rather 'happy and optimistic' boy Zhao Yun sometimes thought he had no blood in his body but had sugar, the energy he had was inhuman, he could not keep quiet and always had to do something, did he have to keep quiet in class? He talked quietly to himself, he even started using the pencils as if they were dolls and made them 'talk' to each other. He couldn't sit still, Zhao Yun suspected that if that happened, the boy would explode or something.

But, despite how strange the boy was, Zhao Yun considered him a great friend, he was loyal, protective and did not hesitate for a second to defend him when something bad happened to him, he was the only one who knew his attraction to men, which surprised him a little but he knew how to get used to it in minutes, it was not so secret his taste for the same gender, also his peers were not as closed minds as their uncles and other adults, but the stigma was still a little stuck in his head.

He just complained without raising his head, he was sleepy, he had not slept well, he did not know what he had dreamed but he knew it had to do with his soul mate.

The coffee in his hand was hot but Zhao Yun didn't want to let go, somehow that was keeping him awake, the pain in his hand.

"Zhao Yun stop ignoring me" He moved his head to the side but without lifting it "The class is about to start"

Zi Fei saw that his friend still didn't want to move, or even let it be known that he was still alive, he sighed and did what he had to do.

Zhao Yun could only complain when a finger touched the side of his stomach, jumped up, and looked at his friend with all the hate in the world.

He just wanted to sleep.

Just then the teacher entered the room and Zhao Yun had to force himself not to lay his head on the table and go back to sleep. He felt so tired, besides that he had to stay at the cafe that day to close up.

The hour passed like an eternity.

"Why are you so tired?" asked a worried Zi Fei, who at first hadn't paid much attention to him but now saw the way he was walking and his overall mood.

Zhao Yun looked exhausted.

"I didn't rest well" was the only answer he gave.

After that Zi Fei preferred not to bother him, and a smile spread on his face when Zhao Yun had one on his face too when he bought his favorite dessert.

When they said goodbye Zhao Yun apologized to Zi Fei for his attitude, he usually didn't let people see him like that, but with the things that were happening to him he didn't have the energy to pretend, he had to make sure he did it at work, having that attitude was unprofessional and he didn't want anyone to worry. It was enough with Zi Fei.

He greeted his co-workers and went to the staff room to change. His workplace was quite nice and cozy, it was in a very good geographical position, and even in the days when people came into the point of not knowing where so many people came from, it was something that stressed him out but filled him with adrenaline. On the days when not many people came in, he could sit at one of the tables and draw whatever came into his mind.

Draw...

That was something nobody knew, just like how he thought about himself. Those two things were a secret that he didn't want to share with anyone.

Drawing was like his way of escaping from everything, Zhao Yun didn't have to be "someone's nephew" "The abandoned son" "The perfect worker" "The genius student" When he drew he could be Zhao Yun, without pressure, expectations, gossip, it was something Zhao Yun didn't want to lose.