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Chapter 41: Business Man

He really needed a secretary. He suppose he could hire Belle, but he knew he'd get way too distracted recreating the movie Secretary with her to actually have her do work. Besides, time together as master and servant had told him enough that it wouldn't be a good fit.

And he didn't trust anyone in the wizarding world. That was for sure. After he had bought out the bank—with some blackmail and good old fashion gold—he had to put half of the goblin staff doing heinous things like cleaning toilets and working in the mail room.

And he had to cut through all that nasty tape through the Rothenberg Convention of 1615 that was suppose to give goblins prime banking rights from wizards of this world. It was a good thing that he wasn't from this wizarding world. But it made hiring upper management difficult. Of course, that didn't mean the situation was hopeless, just complicated.

That and on top of some run-ins with less than enthused customers. He had really had a hell of a day.

Things probably wouldn't have been so bad if he didn't have to deal with that insufferable blonde man. Who was now snail guts on his walking stick—souvenir from said guy.

Such a nice walking stick, but it had belonged to such a foul human.

Gold frowned as he thought about the temper tantrum that Lucius Malfoy threw when he went into his office. Really, Gold was just going to scare the crap out of him and let him in. That was until he threw a curse that smelled like dark magic.

Of course, being hit by the curse didn't effect him at all. If anything it made him stronger. Dark magic fed from more dark magic.

But that's when things got really bad.

"Bloody hell," Malfoy said.

Rumple shook his head using this opportunity to summon the wizard's wand into his hand. "Seriously, a dark curse, dearie."

"You're not a muggle then." The man said.

"Astute." Rumple replied controlling his face to be impassive. Which was really hard because stupidity just oozed out of this wizard, and stupidity amused Rumple.

"Now, if you please, tell me why you threw dark magic on me."

"I should be asking the questions." The blonde man said.

"You threw a curse at me. I have your magic stick, I think it's the other way around." Gold said. "Is this how you normally do business?"

The wizard turned into a bright shade of crimson. It really did not go well with his bright white blonde hair.

Rumple shook his head. "You look upset, dearie. That's not a very good look for you. I guess before, I start asking questions I'll be cordial enough to ask you why you came to my bank."

"Your bank?" The man blurted out. "You're the one who raised interest and created these stupid new security rules? I thought you were the interim bank manager."

"The bank is owned by me now. And unlike goblins, I actually try to follow the rules. Do you know that contraband was being hidden in some of those vaults. Naughty. Naughty. Personally, I have no problem with having contraband myself. But I have to follow the ministry's rules."

"Yet you own the bank."

"Oh, the goblin treaty doesn't apply to me, dearie."

"You claim you aren't a muggle." Lucius said. "Wizards can't own the bank because of some treaty. Believe me when I say, I know."

Interesting, Gold thought. He thought about preserving the wizard's life then. He might (operative word, might) be interesting to use. Of course, that was before he found out that Lucius Malfoy was a lot more dangerous than he originally looked. And the fact that he continued to persistently annoy him.

Persistently annoying the Dark One was never a good thing. Look what ended up happening to some of the people he hated. The orgs. Dead. His ex-wife. Dead. Moe French. Not dead, but a bullet in his chest and if he walked probably dead in a way that wouldn't be connected to him—secretly he was manipulating Regina to do his dirty work. Cora. Soon to be dead. In the mix of that, there were a lot of people turned to snails and hearts ripped out. So yeah, it wasn't a smart idea to annoy the Dark One.

Try telling that to Lucius Malfoy though.

Luicus Malfoy continued to stare at Gold. "Obviously, you got around it. How? You're really not the owner, are you? Some filthy muggle bought the place and you're probably a ruddy mudblood he hired to manage it. I'll find a way to get you shares revoked if you don't talk."

Gold had enough of this. Get some answers and then he was done with the man. Reaching out his hand he reached out and grabbed the man's heart. Sometimes he just wanted to get to the point, which was now. He could always wipe his memory if need be.

It was ridiculous how easy it was. And it was surprising just how black said man's heart was.

Gold just shook his head as Lucius looked at him in horror.

"That's….that's…"

"Your heart." Gold said, "Believe me, I know. Seems like you've been a very bad boy. It's dark. Very dark. I think we're going to have a nice chat now, don't you think?"

He squeezed it for dramatic pause. Of course, this got out the requisite gasp of pain. If you did this as many times as Rumple was it wasn't near as dramatic. For someone like Cora, it was routine.

Still though, with the victim's it seemed to be their own unique and horrifying experience.

Lucius's eyes bugged out as he stared at Rumple. "Who are you?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Rumple said with a coy grin. "Maybe I'll give you three guesses. Spare your life if you're right. It's an option. But let's first start off where you got that impressive looking walking stick."

"It's a family heirloom." Lucius said his nose sticking up in the air. "Irreplaceable."

"Hmm," Rumple said. "I think I might have to invest in one of those."

"It's an artifact a mudblood…"

Squeeze.

Lucius gasped in pain. "Bloody Merlin."

"Sorry, that's not my name." Rumple sniggered at the mere mention of Merlin. That drunk.

And seriously, the failure of Camelot. Could've been easily prevented. Just keep Arthur away from Guinevere.

"I wasn't even guessing your name." Lucius spat out.

"I don't have ESPN and neither does the contract we made." Rumple said going into lawyer mode. "You used one guess."

"You didn't even give me a chance to consent."

"You consented when you guessed my name." He said.

"It was an expression."

Rumple raised his hand. "Seemed to me you were accepting my offer."

Lucius squeaked.

Gold smiled as he waved his hand and a list appeared with Lucius Malfoy's accounts. "Many dark books here and dark magical devices. Care to explain them?"

Luicus sighed. "They're my belongings. That's all there is to them."

Squeeze.

Lucius sighed. "Fine. They're the Dark Lord's. I'm…I'm keeping some of them for him and selling some of the others. Okay?"

"The Dark Lord?" Rumple asked. "You don't mean that moron, Voldemort?"

Lucius snarled at him. "Do not speak the lord's name in vain. He will return and I will make sure he turns into the dust that you are…"

Now Rumple was in rage mode. Pure rage. And he knew Lucius was not going to return or be a tool. So he was going to be fun. He wouldn't tell Belle. She'd never know, he told himself. And he needed some way to release his anger. The way Petunia Dursley died. It was just too clean cut. He needed something that reminded him of him old self. And his son, well, he needed some form of vengeance.

And to think, he was going to save it all for Sirius Black.

Well, Lucius Malfoy would make a nice start.

He was going to leave Malfoy with a few parting words before he turned him into snail gel. Just to make sure his eternity was spent in the most painful way possible. "The Dark Lord won't turn me into dust." He snapped. "Your lord is nothing compared to me."

Lucius rolled his eyes. Rumple squeezed a little harder. "You want to know who I am? I am the Dark One."

Lucius gasped.

"Oh, yes, dearie." Rumple said. "Apparently, you have heard of me?"

"Yes…" Lucius said. "I…I…"

"Good." Rumple said. "Then you know you've done a very bad thing, joining the man who hurt my son."

Lucius then said something that Rumple didn't quite expect. " I told him it was a bad idea. To use your son like that, but he insisted and…"

It was too late. Rumple was filled with enough rage that Lucius was no longer a human instead he was a slug. "You should've said no." He said to the now gastropod Lucius as he picked up the man's staff. "A nice family heirloom indeed. It's mine now. And it will be the making of your doom."

And Lucius's slug guts were now over the end of his staff. At least until Gold vanished them off to magic garbage land.

Was there such a place? He assumed so, honestly he didn't care. He had to restructure the bank, never mind work on acquiring that magic prison.

Azkaban.

The amount of red tape he had been cutting through had been more than a little ridiculous. He was slowly but surely making progress though. Give it another day or so and he'd have the papers in his hand.

At least that was according to the wizard solicitor he consulted to be his so called face in the wizarding world. Not that the man was doing much. He was more or less a figurehead. Though only an idiot represented themselves, which was why Gold hired him.

Even though he had to correct him at every turn, Belle helped a lot too. She liked books, so asking her to read some wizarding legal tome was like giving her a diamond ring.

Oh, how their relationship improved since he learned this secret.

Though, the underlying Moe issue was still there. Especially since the moron refused to plead guilty. His lawyer was alleging that he didn't have the necessary intent to kill Harry since he was grossly intoxicated.

It wasn't a bad argument, but that didn't mean Moe wasn't guilty as hell drunk or not.

He was this close to telling Regina to just kill him already and pin it on Cora.

Like that was going to work.

Well, it might. Sometimes Belle had a tendency to be a little dense. Which was something he tried not to exploit—much.

It was hard not to exploit it.

And to be fair, he did try to get her to read some of those self-help books about trying to avoid being manipulated and swindled. But she had a very hard time buying a clue it seemed.

Sad. Seeing how smart she was most of the time.

Speak of the devil, at that moment his phone rang and it was Belle.

"Sweetheart," He said. "How are things going? Is Harry enjoying his birthday?"

Yeah, today was his son's birthday. Honestly, he really didn't want to be doing business today, but he knew Harry probably wanted some time with his friends. Despite the fact, he'd like to meet and analyze them; he had learned from his time with Bae that maybe allowing his son a little privacy was a good thing.

That and the shrink they had seen in Augusta might've said something to that effect as well.

She sighed. "He's…well, I don't know. Can you come here, Rumple? One of his friend's mother is an annoying hag."

His eyebrow raised. "An annoying hag, really, sweetheart? Such language."

Belle hardly badmouthed anyone. She forced him to work with the Charmings because she told him he should work with those who are less fortunate than him. And he thought Mary Margret was a bit of a self-righteous bore. This woman must be really annoying.

She sighed. "She called me a scarlet woman."

"A scarlet woman? Please tell me, you're not doing anything with that annoying knave behind my back."

"Rumple," Belle said. "For the last time. I am not interested in Will."

"Well, from what your friend Ruby said…but really she called you a scarlet woman? What's that suppose to even mean? That you look good in red? Because you look divine. But personally I prefer you in gold."

"I think she meant something else, Rumple. Remember that book, The Scarlet Letter, that I handed to you the other month."

Belle handed him a lot of books.

"It had that woman in it that you said reminded you of Mary Margret when people wrote tramp on her car." Belle clarified hearing the confusion in his voice.

"She called you a harlot?" He said—oh, this would not do. Not do at all. "Sweetheart, where are you?"

"Please don't turn her into a snail, Rumple."

"I'm done with snails for today. He eyed his new cane making sure it was free of Lucius snail guts, it was. "But no one calls you a whore and gets away with it."

"Well, she is a little rude. She keeps talking about how she's going to call some Dumble-whatever and talk to him about the unsuitable company Harry's aunt chooses him to hang around with. Me, unsuitable. I'm a freaking Disney princess."

Ah yes, the Disney show that Harry made sure they watched in their hotel room when he found out who Belle was suppose to be. With the smirks his son shot him throughout the painful eighty or so minutes, he knew that he was getting a kick out of forcing to watch Rumple see dancing teacups and having Gaston—that buffoon actually get the one up on him for three minutes. Though, he ended up falling off a cliff anyway. Not as eventful as a rose, but it would do.

"And that was the man you told everyone was my father." Harry said after Rumple had made a big stink about how vain a person had to be to make their own song.

Gold frowned. "Well, some people bought it."

Yeah, Moe French. Who apparently let bygones be bygones in the movie and got with the teapot lady at the end. Well, it was alluded to at least.

Disney really fucked it up.

But Belle loved that movie and was insisting that they do a wedding to the theme of said movie.

The idea of getting a dark blue smoking jacket had its own appeal; Rumple was first to admit that.

"Rumple?" Belle said causing Rumple to regain focus. "Can you please come here? I really don't think I can handle her voice anymore."

"You want her to shut up, sweetheart?"

Belle sighed, but chose her words very careful. Thankfully, those books about being assertive he slipped under her pillow seemed to be working. Now, if only she'd tell the Charmings no. "Rumple, I don't want you to kill or permanently maim her. But I want her to shut up. I want my fiancé to come here, say it's time to go. And make sure she can't call me a harlot, a slut, an unsuitable guardian, and a poor silly simple muggle. That does not mean she needs to be turned into a snail or have her heart ripped up. All I want is for her to keep her mouth shut and stop trying butt in when things are none of her business. And then I want to spend the rest of the day as a family, no revenge, no playing Mr. Business takeovering. Just you, me, and your son celebrating his birthday."

Wow. Just wow.

He was impressed and he couldn't help but smile. "As you wish, sweetheart."